“You can tell a lot about a fella’s character by whether he picks out all of one color or just grabs a handful.” ~ Ronald Reagan explaining why he liked to have a jar of jelly beans on hand for important meetings.

Our mission at BigDawg Music Mafia is to unite and encourage conservatives with creative abilities to get engaged in the culture revolution – to promote American exceptionalism through the arts.  While many of us are using our talents to draw attention to the destruction of liberty by the current administration and those on the far left, there are times when we can use our creativity to bridge that partisan divide, even if only in a light-hearted way. This was one of those times.

Taking a cue from Senators Harry Reid and Chris Dodd who recently visited the late Sen. Ted Kennedy’s grave site to channel his bipartisan spirit by pouring whiskey on his grave and reciting a prayer in hopes the Super Committee would reach an agreement on the budget cuts, BigDawg Music Mafia decided to answer their call for bipartisanship in a mission we dubbed “Operation Jelly Bean.”

YouTube Operation Jelly Bean

Having heard radio’s Rush Limbaugh talk about the Super Committee’s failed attempt to reach an agreement and how the two Senators contributed to the process by their visit with Kennedy; and having heard the challenge Limbaugh posed to one of his callers to visit Kennedy’s grave site on his behalf, BigDawg Music Mafia Co-Founder, Andrew (a.k.a. BigDawg) convinced me we needed to take that challenge since the caller indicated she was not local.  My friend Reese and I, however, are.

Here’s what Rush asked of one of his callers:

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Seriously, someone in comedy please please PLEASE make a Democrat the punchline of one of these our-leaders-are-stupid jokes.  Why is it that these two beautiful, accomplished conservative women are the only Americans in public life subject to a constant stream of lines like this?  Oh, right…

How many of you know that Michele Bachman has not just a Bachelor’s degree and a Juris Doctorate, but also an LL.M. (that’s a Masters of Law)?   Is Harry Reid moonlighting as a rocket-scientist or something?  Did I miss the memo that Joe Biden is a foremost authority on biblical hermeneutics?  But why would comics rib these intellectual giants when they can make Bachmann and Palin the punchline for the eleventy-billionth time?

By all means, Hollywood, poke fun at our leaders, but why not test-drive some new targets?  We guarantee you’ll win over a broader audience.  Besides, you’ll allow for at least a shadow of a doubt that you aren’t the partisan shills you are. -AM

[CONTENT WARNING: This post contains harsh language.]

On Wednesday night, Quentin Tarantino was roasted at the New York Friars’ Club. Some of Hollywood’s most famous and talented stars were on hand, many of who did the actual roasting. Among them Samuel L. Jackson, Jerry Lewis, Sarah Silverman, Rob Schneider, Eli Roth, and Neve Campbell. One shameless roaster named Whitney Cummings, often seen on Chelsea Lately, delivered the most buzz-worthy/cringe-worthy line of the night:

[Tarantino has] produced more retarded things than Sarah Palin’s vagina.

Somewhere out there, Andrew Dice Clay is blushing. Not because the joke is off-color, he doesn’t care about that. He’s flushed because it’s unfunny, stolen hackery.

Let’s deal with the unfunny part first: Who is the butt of this joke? A toddler who suffers from down-syndrome and the mother that chose not to destroy him while he was in the womb. Yikes. Regarding Trig: Lay. Off. The. Kids. Okay? Regarding Mama Palin: Is it possible to write a more obvious joke on a more obvious target? I’m sure Ms. Cummings fancies herself irreverent; what would be truly irreverent is if she would harness a little of that hate that dwells in her dreary heart and direct it toward someone who is actually in power. Here are some possible targets she may want to consider: Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, or Joe Biden (notice how I’m not mentioning Obama’s children?). If she insists on resorting to humor that’s main attribute is shock-value, why not try a target that might actually shock someone?

Now let’s deal with the hackery part. It’s one thing that Whitney Cummings is mean-spirited, vulgar, and boring, but it’s quite another that she stole this joke. Here’s a super-NSFW clip of Louis CK on Opie and Anthony going on a jag against Sarah Palin that ends with him referring to her vagina as a “retard-making cunt.” (more…)

So according to Maureen Dowd, we’re seeing a rising tide of vicious bullying this political season – the kind you might see in high school, when “teenage tormentors” would “spread rumors that you were pregnant.”

Oh how I hated that.

For Dowd, these new “Republican Mean Girls,” are angry, aggressive women who are angry and aggressive. And mean.

Why not just call them bitches?

Anyway, to the irony. Here Mo laments the evils of smearing women – right before doing essentially the same thing. In a way, she becomes that cliched head cheerleader who always supports the loutish jock. “You better leave him alone, or I’ll say you banged the gym teacher under the grandstands!”

Funny thing is – I did. I always did.

But Dowd’s biggest blind spot? She writes this column only a week after Meg Whitman was called a whore -and – after the California NOW chief said “whore” was an apt description. (more…)

There is, perhaps, no better testament to how far this nation has drifted from the principles of individual liberty, free markets, and private property than that those proponents of real reform of the Social Security system are now looked upon as radicals.

Senate majority leader, Harry Reid (D-NV), running for his political life, accused his opponent, Sharron Angle, of wanting to “kill Social Security.” Of course, Harry Reid has a rather elastic definition of “the truth,” so his attack lacks a measure of veracity. Angle has taken the position that in order to save Social Security we must stop raiding the (non-existent) lock-box and that “going forward, we need to personalize Social Security the same way that Harry Reid has a personalized account.” Reid has routinely characterized Angle as an extremist. Alas, Reid also suffers from the political malady known as “Venetian memory:” Recalling that which is advantageous and forgetting everything else. You see, in 1999 Harry Reid was all for “putting a small amount of Social Security dollars into the private sector.”

What is also interesting is how fast Angle changed the subject. And who can blame her? Democrat warnings that Republicans want to roll the dice with the retirements of the elderly have been extremely effective. Republicans running for office must distance themselves from the topic of Social Security reform, lest they commit political suicide. (more…)

Is there no end to the many talents of Lady Gaga, already recognized as the greatest Madonna impersonator of this century? Of course we all know her as a singer, musician, fashionista and female impersonator, but recently she has revealed herself as maven in two new areas: military expert and political advisor.

It started at the MTV Video Music Awards. That is ironic in itself since I think that MTV stopped being a music channel sometime in the 1990’s. Ms. Gaga, (I don’t know if “Lady” is a title or simply the first part of her pseudonym) appeared in a costume made of meat. When asked the meaning of her get-up by Ellen DeGeneres, she explained it wasn’t a slam on vegans.  

“As you know, I am the most judgment-free human being on the earth,” Gaga replied.  

Wow! Did the irony of that statement knock anyone else down into their La-Z-Boy? That might be the truest thing she has ever said. It wasn’t too long ago that having judgment skills was considered a plus. Not anymore!

Be that as it may, the whole idea was to call attention to the plight of gay folks in the military. If you don’t see the linkage between “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” narcissistic self- indulgence and wearing a Porterhouse, come on over and sit on the terminally un-hip bench with me while I try to figure it out.  (more…)

The brilliant Humberto Fontova tells a story in one of his books (I believe it’s Exposing the Real Che Guevara and the Useful Idiots Who Idolize Him), about guitarist Carlos Santana being confronted once about wearing the iconic Che T-shirt. After deservedly getting an earful about what a murdering coward Che was, and how the counterculture’s favorite revolutionary icon despised musicians and artists like Santana himself, an irritated Santana reportedly sputtered, “You’re just hung up on the facts, man.”

In a recent article entitled “Washington-Set Films May Fudge Facts, But Good Ones Speak To Larger Truths,” the Washington Post’s Ann Hornaday discusses how D.C. audiences composed of political insiders scrutinize Hollywood’s D.C.-based historical dramas for fidelity to the facts. “Myth or reality?” she asks. “That’s the question posed by movies based on true events, and it’s a conundrum that Washington officialdom seems to have a perennial problem in reconciling.” As examples, she references such films as Charlie Wilson’s War, Thirteen Days, All the President’s Men, and of course, Oliver Stone’s controversial oeuvre: JFK, Nixon, and W. (I can’t tell you how long I’ve been wanting to use the word “oeuvre” in one of my blogs).

History buffs and D.C. insiders may nitpick about such films, but as Ms. Hornaday writes, “You don’t have to support Stone’s signature brand of revisionism to agree that overweening literalism can sometimes obscure a larger truth.” (more…)

UPDATE: The bounty is now $100,000 for any audio/video footage of the N-word being hurled at Congressmen John Lewis and Andre Carson.

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After 14 months of committing 100% to health care reform, the day after the signing of the Health Care bill was to mark the Democratic Party’s new primary concern: destroy the uprising, annihilate by all means necessary, the Tea Party movement.

The first sign that a plan was in place was the ham-fisted, high-camp posturing of the most controversial members of the Democratic caucus walking through the peaceful but animated “Tea Party” demonstrators on Capitol Hill. There is no reason for these elected officials to walk above ground through the media circus amid their ideological foes. The natural route is the tunnels between the House office buildings and the Capitol. By crafting a highly symbolic walk of the Congressional Black Caucus through the majority white crowd, the Democratic Party was looking to provoke a negative reaction. They didn’t get it. So they made it up.

The proof that the N-word wasn’t said once, let alone 15 times, as Rep. Andre Carson claimed, is that soon thereafter — even though the press dutifully reported it as truth — Nancy Pelosi followed the alleged hate fest, which allegedly included someone spitting, by walking through the crowd with a gavel in hand and a shit-eating grin on her face. Had the incidents reported by the Congressional Black Caucus actually occurred the Capitol Police would have been negligent to allow the least popular person to that crowd – the Speaker – to put herself in harm’s way.

That crowd was a sea of new-media equipment. Not only were tens of thousands people armed with handicams, BlackBerrys and iPods, so also was the mainstream media there, covering every inch of the event. Why did not one mainstream media outlet raise the specter that perhaps a video would exist to prove the events occurred? I am still dealing with the same press telling me we didn’t prove that ACORN was aiding and abetting criminal activity because we “did not provide enough audio and video evidence.” (Insert laugh track.) Is there not a blatant double standard at play here? Nancy Pelosi tipped her hand that race was a central part of her strategy. She invoked the Civil Rights Act and compared it with the universally reviled health care bill. Her caucus is doubling down on the civil-rights rhetoric. There are no coincidences.

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So I finally figured out what makes Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid so intriguing.

He’s a big stupid-face.

Example: Monday, during a Senate debate over the job creation package, he suggested that unemployment causes men to beat their wives.

“I met with some people while I was home dealing with domestic abuse. It has gotten out of hand,” Reid said. “Why? Men don’t have jobs.”

He adds that “Women don’t have jobs either, but women aren’t abusive, most of the time,” he said. (more…)

Want to relive season five of Paris Hilton’s reality show The Simple Life? No problem, it’s on DVD. The complete first season of Jane Curtin’s sitcom Kate & Allie? It’s just a click away on Amazon.com. Oliver Stone’s surreal 1993 miniseries Wild Palms? Get it on Netflix. Virtually any miniseries or TV show you can think of, from any season, no matter how insipid, forgettable, or obscure, is readily available and continues to earn profits (often inexplicably). 

But you will look in vain for a DVD of the extraordinary and controversial Disney/ABC miniseries The Path to 9/11. 

Disney President and CEO Robert Iger

A $30+ million project that aired without sponsors on two September nights in 2006, The Path to 9/11 dramatized the historical thread that connected the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center, Islamic attacks on American interests throughout the ‘90s, and the terrorism of that fateful morning in 2001. 

Prior to its premiere, the producers at ABC were so proud of the impending project that they had high hopes of airing Path every 9/11 anniversary and showing it in schools across this country as an engaging educational tool – until an accusation of “conservative bias” (horrors!) on the part of the filmmakers quickly spun into liberal hysteria that the project was actually a “well-honed propaganda operation” on the part of a secretive, right-wing network-within-a-network.  (more…)

Harry Reid is not racist and Republican calls for his resignation are misguided. There I said it.

The senate majority leader has recently come under fire for remarks attributed to him in the new book “Game Change.” Authors Mark Halperin and John Heilemann say that in 2008 Reid described then candidate Obama as a ” ‘light-skinned’ African American ‘with no Negro dialect unless he wanted to have one.’” The comments have been seen by some as being racially insensitive.

Reid’s defenders argue that he was merely making the point that Americans were ready to elect a black president (or at least a light- skinned black president. Baby steps.) DNC chair Tim Kaine insisted that Reid’s remarks were offered in the context of saying something positive about the Obama candidacy and why his candidacy would be strong. (more…)

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It’s something we so desperately need right now – a show that will finally put Adolf Hitler in the context he deserves. Seriously – it was just the other day I was sitting around with my Aryan Youth Group/Pilates class, discussing how deeply reviled Hitler has been over the years. “If only someone could get into poor Adolf’s size 7 loafers and understand where the poor guy is coming from,” I wondered aloud – and shirtless, to get my point across.

Well thank the Devil for Oliver Stone, for he’s revealed that his upcoming Showtime miniseries “Secret History of America” will help put mass murderers such as Hitler and Stalin “in context.”

“Stalin, Hitler, Mao, McCarthy — these people have been vilified pretty thoroughly by history,” he told reporters during a press tour, managing to slip non-killer Joe McCarthy into the mix, without causing a murmur. (more…)

So many in the media are delighting in the stupidity of the “Jersey Shore” cast. Just recently, Jay Leno had them on a quiz bowl, and the audience – buoyed by their own perceived superiority – chortled at their various mistakes.

But I ask: who’s dumber: the “Jersey Shore” cast, or those who call the “Jersey Shore” cast dumb?

The answer is the latter, which I think means “paddlefish.”

First off, when did these kids ever pass themselves off as smart? Did they ever say they were members of Mensa? Of course not: the only pompous jerks who tell you they’re in Mensa – are in Mensa.

Also, it’s not like these kids ever showed up in front of the cameras, clutching their diplomas from Cornell’s agricultural college – like some MSNBC hosts are known to do. No, they’re only proud of their abs. So what. None of that stuff affects you. The fact that they’re honest about their shallowness already puts them on an intellectual level higher than Sean Penn and Gynneth Paltrow, combined. (more…)

The classical poet A.E. Housman wrote, “For nature, heartless, witless nature.” He might have said the same thing about history, which like nature is neither cruel nor kind; right, nor wrong; it is simply indifferent. It has, as they say, no dog in the fight.

If, however, one is looking back and telling history, it might then be said that one is right or wrong about history. One might say as much about Senate Majority leader Harry Reid (D-NV), who was wrong about history in his remarks accusing Republicans opposed to Democratic healthcare reform of using the same stalling tactics as the defenders of slavery and Jim Crow.

In remarks intended to further paint the political right as immoral, racist and evil, Reid offered that, “Instead of joining us on the right side of history, all the Republicans can come up with is, ’slow down, stop everything, let’s start over.’ If you think you’ve heard these same excuses before, you’re right.  When this country belatedly recognized the wrongs of slavery, there were those who dug in their heels and said ’slow down, it’s too early, things aren’t bad enough.’”

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When President Obama was just Candidate Obama and tossing promises to us like Mardi Gras beads to shirtless women, he made a few that we all liked. The two things even we of the far-right wing nut-job persuasion hoped might be true were that he was going to change the way things were done in Washington and there was going to be a new transparency in government. Even though I am at times jaded and a bit cynical, I have never given up hoping. I wasn’t holding my breath, but if the President held up his word I was willing to give him credit.

Ohio Sen. Sherrod Brown, candidate Barack Obama and Gov. Ted Strickland

The poster boy for these two broken promises is Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown. If you’ve never heard of Senator Brown he is probably most famous for being mistaken for an African-American by Rush Limbaugh because of his name. He is actually a child of privilege who was raised in Northeastern Ohio. Senator Brown has never had a “real” job.  After graduating from Yale, Senator Brown entered politics taking a short break to go back to college for an advanced degree. Despite the fact Senator Brown has never worked in the private sector much less gotten his hands dirty with physical labor, he likes to see himself as a common man. What rich, well connected politician doesn’t? The Senator has been in Washington so long he has come to think he is employed by the Democrat Party and not the people of Ohio. (more…)