Afghanistan: Obama’s Setup and Payoff

Skillfully written screenplays are frequently structured around a series of setups and payoffs.

The most rudimentary example is, of course, the pistol in the desk drawer: revealed in Act I, and then in Act II, the gun is used to kill someone.

For an intensive workshop in cinematic setups and payoffs you should screen the Back to the Future series, where setup and payoff are elevated to an entirely new level.

It’s kind of fascinating, watching Obama construct the setup for his Afghanistan policy. He follows a familiar dramatic structure:

1. Anguished self-reflection, all quite public in order to display nobility of character. (more…)

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Tags: Afghanistan, appeasement, General McChrystal, General Petraeus, Hamas
Posted Oct 7th 2009 at 8:21 am in Military, Politics | 241054108 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/ravrech/2009/10/07/afghanistan-obamas-setup-and-payoff/Afghanistan%3A+Obama%27s+Setup+and+Payoff2009-10-07+15%3A21%3A49Robert+J.+Avrech

Will ‘The Stoning Of Soraya M.’ Get An Oscar Nod?

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

Returning once again to the land beneath the Big Hollywood sign for a most important poll question. “The Stoning of Soraya M.” has received powerful rave reviews across the political spectrum. The buzz is hot. From the leftie pundits at HuffPo (who only seem to be discovering the true human rights horrorshow nature of that regime now, most curious) to the Righties at Big Hollywood and elsewhere, SORAYA M. is a must-see movie that will linger with you long after you’ve left the theater.

Strangely enough, Amnesty lnternational’s Elise Auerbach doesn’t like it. Because stonings in Iran are so rare, don’t you know. No suspension of disbelief for Ms. Elsie. I’m sorry, what’s her job again? Oh yeah, Iran Specialist for Amnesty International. Go figure. Personally, I happen to think one stoning is one too many. And it wasn’t the only one, not by a country mile! But that’s just me. I’m not an Iran specialist for AI. Like, say, Ms. Auerbach. Nice work if you can get it, huh, Ms. Elsie? (more…)

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Tags: Academy of Motion Picture arts and Sciences, Adolf Hitler, Ali Khamenei, Amnesty International, AMPAS
Posted Jun 29th 2009 at 8:18 am in Entertainment, News, Politics | 1692142 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jtsimpson/2009/06/29/poll-question-will-soraya-m-get-an-oscar-nod/Will+%27The+Stoning+Of+Soraya+M.%27+Get+An+Oscar+Nod%3F+2009-06-29+15%3A18%3A32John+T.+Simpson

Did You Hear the One About President Obama?

You know, people, it’s a damn shame. I remember when great comedians like Richard Pryor and Lenny Bruce held nothing sacred. I know I don’t. And so many comedians, especially late-nighters, are really missing the boat with President Obama. There’s a wealth of material just waiting to be tapped, and I’m really not looking forward to four more years of lame Bush and Palin jokes. Are you?

All it takes is one person to break the ice. Example. Twenty years ago, my brother won tickets to a Journey concert in Worcester, Massachusetts on the radio. We rode a packed WBCN Party Bus out of Boston, but everyone was kind of uptight and kept to themselves, like there were cops in the crowd. So I took a risk and lit up a big fattie anyway. Within minutes, it was like a Cheech and Chong movie. You couldn’t see out the windows. Everyone was laughing, joking, hacking and toking. (more…)

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Tags: al qaeda, Barack Obama, Bermuda, Chinese Uighurs, gitmo
Posted Jun 21st 2009 at 3:04 pm in Political Humor | 16034216 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jtsimpson/2009/06/21/did-you-hear-the-one-about-president-obama/Did+You+Hear+the+One+About+President+Obama%3F+2009-06-21+22%3A04%3A12John+T.+Simpson

The Stoning Of Team Hollywood

The crime is complete. Judgment has been passed. The killing stones are in hand. As per the harsh stoning penal code of Iran’s Islamist thugocracy (for however long that lasts) where the crime took place, my stones are not so big as to kill right away, not so small you can’t call them stones. And I’m winding up like Nolan Ryan. Feel free to pick up a stone of your own. But wait for it!

And let me make this perfectly clear, even if they do say Jehovah!

Sentence must be read before being carried out. And unlike Soraya M., the board members of the Asylum of Motion Picture Airheads and Stooges will deserve every rock that’s thrown their way. I also believe that, in light of events in Iran today, the following commentary will stand out in much starker prominence than it did when I first started reporting on them in early March, when Team Oscar first set off for the Unfriendly Skies of Islamist Iran. (more…)

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Tags: Academy of Motion Picture arts and Sciences, Ahmadinejad, Al Franken, Alireza Davudnejad, Ambush Bay
Posted Jun 19th 2009 at 5:45 pm in Entertainment, News, Politics | 1641062 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jtsimpson/2009/06/19/the-stoning-of-team-hollywood/The+Stoning+Of+Team+Hollywood2009-06-20+00%3A45%3A26John+T.+Simpson

What’s President Obama’s Script For Iran?

You know, people, I really wish I knew what the story was regarding President Obama’s puzzling diplomatic approach to Islamist Iran. Inquiring Minds Want To Know. This ain’t no movie, and I really don’t like the storyline to date. Haven’t since 1979. So what’s the script? White House Productions seems to be holding the storyline in blackout mode, and at this point I’m ready to put former FOX reporter Roger Friedman on the job of rooting it out. He sure did a bang-up job on “Wolverine.”

To be fair, I actually gave the President credit in this March 26th opinion piece entitled “Is President Obama Turning The Tables on Iran?” See, it occurred to me that the President might be undertaking a very brilliant strategy toward the Islamic Republic. If the President offers the Iranian regime nothing but carrots and gets nothing but sticks in return, then the regime is exposed as the hard case it really is. Nobody could say the President hadn’t tried every means at his disposal to make peace. (more…)

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Tags: al qaeda, Ali Khamenei, AMPAS, anti-gay pogrom, Argentina
Posted Jun 8th 2009 at 8:15 am in News, Politics | 1515784 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jtsimpson/2009/06/08/whats-president-obamas-script-for-iran/What%27s+President+Obama%27s+Script+For+Iran%3F2009-06-08+15%3A15%3A14John+T.+Simpson

I Guess You Had To Be There: The Barack Obama Celebrity Roast

(Thundering tympanies, swirling spotlights)

Announcer

Live! From the fabulous Turtle Bay Ballroom at United Nations Headquarters, it’s the Rat Pack of Evil All-Star International Celebrity Roast of President Barack Obama!

(orchestra fanfare: ‘Make ‘Em Laugh’)

With Pyongyang funnyman Kim Jong-Il! Borscht Belt headliner Vlady Putin! Queen of Mean Liz Windsor! Saudi Sheik of Schtick King Abdullah! Beijing jokeslinger Hu Jintao! Wacky al Qaeda Caveman Ayman al-Zawahiri! Nick ‘the Knife’ Sarkozy! Sassy Wanda Sykes! South-of-the-border slapstick team Hugo Chavez and the Castro Brothers! Taliban Madman Mullah Omar! Jon Stewart! Lovable Libyan lush Muammar al-Ghadaffi! Grovelin’ Guvner Gordy Brown! Bashar “The Chin” al-Assad! The Hamas Fattah Dancers! And starring your Master of Ceremonies — that suntan man with a plan from Iran — that Persian with a nuclear perversion — Sheckyyyyyy Ahmedinejad!

(applause)

Shecky Ahmedinejad

Okay, okay, pipe down. Let’s get this thing over with, this straitjacket is a rental and my magic carpet is double-parked on East 43rd. Mohamed H. Prophet, will you get a load of the evil on the stage tonight? I haven’t seen this many bombs since Janeane Garofalo played the American Legion convention. (more…)

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Tags: "without preconditions", Ahmedinejad, al qaeda, American Legion, Andy Kauffman
Posted May 13th 2009 at 5:57 pm in Entertainment, Featured Story, Media Criticism, News, Political Humor, Politics, Religion | 1346345 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/dburge/2009/05/13/i-guess-you-had-to-be-there-the-barack-obama-celebrity-roast/I+Guess+You+Had+To+Be+There%3A+The+Barack+Obama+Celebrity+Roast2009-05-14+00%3A57%3A28Iowahawk

One Critic’s Review of ‘Roxana: A True Story’

Now that ‘Roxana: A True Story’ has come to a most satisfying and happy conclusion for Roxana Saberi, her parents, myself and millions of others around the globe (a conclusion not always assured, and which looked very grim in some scenes), it is now time for Your Most Humble and Obedient Critic to give you the full skinny on ‘Roxana: A True Story.’

Or, by its Hollywood acronym, RATS. Funny. I actually found that startling contraction fitting, not for Roxana (not hardly), but for all of the major black hats and clueless morons who populated this nerve-wracking Thugocracy Studios production, which had civilized people everywhere both riveted and outraged in its most grueling and suspenseful moments.

Not to mention for Roxana and her parents. But before we get to heroes and villains, let us look at the story to date with all its dramatic twists and underpinnings, many with significant international implications. Just like a good Hitchcock drama should. And I caught ‘em all!

By pure happenstance, Your Most Humble Critic and Boy Reporter was already hot on the job covering Iran (unlike some people) and hammering AMPAS for their tea and finger-cookie soirees with these guys, when I saw what Iran was pulling with Roxana and called it for what it was: a hostage crisis. And on the same day HRW called it the same in a press release on March 13th, which I didn’t find out until the 19th thanks to our on-the-ball Vein Stream Media. (more…)

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Tags: -1, abc, Academy of Motion Picture arts and Sciences, Ahmadinejad, al qaeda
Posted May 13th 2009 at 8:13 am in Entertainment, Politics | 132142One Commenthttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jtsimpson/2009/05/13/one-critics-review-of-roxana-a-true-story/One+Critic%27s+Review+of+%27Roxana%3A+A+True+Story%272009-05-13+15%3A13%3A00John+T.+Simpson

No Tears for Roger Friedman

Sorry that I can’t cry over Roger Friedman’s firing as a columnist from FOXNews.com.

It’s not just that he ignored the age-old advice–don’t blank where you live/eat/work.  And it’s not just that as an entertainment industry writer, he was an uber-liberal who rarely wrote anything of interest and mostly gushed over the vapid celebs he covered.

It’s that left-wing politics dominated his absurd praise of left-wing propaganda on the silver screen and his apologism for extremist Muslims in showbiz. (more…)

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Tags: fox, Hamas, Islam, Roger Friedman, Salman Rushdie
Posted Apr 6th 2009 at 6:19 pm in Entertainment, News | 9895454 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/dschlussel/2009/04/06/no-tears-for-roger-friedman-fox-news-firing-of-uber-lib-celeb-writer-long-overdue/No+Tears+for+Roger+Friedman2009-04-07+01%3A19%3A28Debbie+Schlussel

Taking Sides In The Middle East

Just for the record, I am a non-observant Jew.  That means that my mother’s father, Max Lashevsky, who kept kosher and attended an orthodox synagogue twice-a-day every day of his life, would probably have considered me a heathen, while Adolf Hitler would have had me exterminated. 

I want that to be perfectly clear so that when I declare my concern for Israel, nobody will simply assume it’s because I’m Jewish.  I am on the side of Israel because it’s a western democracy, an ally of America, and because I regard her enemies to be our enemies, people dedicated to our mutual annihilation. 

Israel’s foes believe in targeting women and children just so long as they’re Jewish or Christian.  They are not only intolerant of the freedoms we take for granted — speech and religion — but they are polygamous, treat their women as chattel and encourage their children to achieve martyrdom as suicide bombers.  Moreover, so-called honor killings are part of what passes for their culture.  (more…)

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Tags: 9/11, Arab textbooks, Arabs, genocide, Hamas
Posted Mar 29th 2009 at 1:25 pm in Featured Story, Politics, Religion | 91006No Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/bprelutsky/2009/03/29/taking-sides-in-the-middle-east/Taking+Sides+In+The+Middle+East2009-03-29+20%3A25%3A46Burt+Prelutsky

One Critic’s Review of ‘Mr. Ganis Goes To Tehran’

If anyone wrote a script like this, no one would believe it.

But I already read the book.

That they even went to Iran in the first place was an abomination, especially given their three-hour gay rights infomercial called The Oscars just five days earlier.

And it only kept getting worse. (more…)

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Tags: Alfre Woodard, Ali Larijani, Alireza Davudnejad, AMPAS, Annette Bening
Posted Mar 9th 2009 at 3:07 pm in Celebrity News, News, Politics | 7465419 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jtsimpson/2009/03/09/an-open-letter-to-hollywood-and-gay-rights-activists-on-iran/One+Critic%27s+Review+of+%27Mr.+Ganis+Goes+To+Tehran%272009-03-09+22%3A07%3A51John+T.+Simpson

With “Taken,” Hollywood Inches Closer to Melting “Thou Must Whitewash Islam” Rule

With “Taken” debuting at the box office today, we’re inching closer to the melting of the post-9/11 “Thou Must Whitewash Islam” commandment.

Since 9/11, Hollywood is taken with the politically correct idea that they’re not allowed to portray Muslims as terrorists, or when they do, it’s to glorify the terrorists and justify their behavior–that America deserves it and made them do it.  Or–a la “24″–that Muslim terrorists are always working for the American White man.  Instead, Hollywood, post-9/11, made terrorists and hijackers, everyone BUT Muslims.  There were Black Men with AIDS from Africa (”The Interpreter“),  Federal Air Marshals and airline stewardesses, er . . . “flight attendants” (”Flight Plan,” exec produced by my uber-leftist cousin, Charles J.D. Schlissel), White Christians (a number of movies and TV shows) and everyone else you can think of . . . except Muslims, who make up the majority of real-life terrorists plotting against America today. (more…)

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Tags: 24, 9/11, ADC, AIDS, CAIR
Posted Jan 30th 2009 at 1:40 pm in Entertainment, Reviews | 3646655 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/dschlussel/2009/01/30/with-taken-hollywood-inches-closer-to-melting-thou-must-whitewash-islam-rule/With+%22Taken%2C%22+Hollywood+Inches+Closer+to+Melting+%22Thou+Must+Whitewash+Islam%22+Rule2009-01-30+21%3A40%3A52Debbie+Schlussel

Getting Louder With Steven Crowder: Hamas, Prop. 8 and Sarah Palin

As a follow up to my “GO TEAM ISRAEL” video, I dissect the moronic arguments commonly made by young Liberals involved with the “Pro-Palestinian” aka  “Pro-Hell-bent-on-the-destruction-of-Israel-Hamas-bastards” movement.  If the arguments addressed seem too paper thin to even give credence…  Trust me, I’m right there with you.  However, someone has to pestle these points into their astonishingly hard noggins… And I’m just the man to do it.

The unfairly attractive “Sarah Palin” is covered.  I also touch upon what are commonly referred to as “liberal elitists” and their gay marriage antics.  Oh leftists… What will they do next?

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Tags: Gay, Hamas, Israel, Obama, Palestine
Posted Jan 17th 2009 at 8:25 am in Politics, Video | 1679740 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/scrowder/2009/01/17/hamas-children-the-gays-and-sarah-palin/Getting+Louder+With+Steven+Crowder%3A+Hamas%2C+Prop.+8+and+Sarah+Palin2009-01-17+16%3A25%3A36Steven+Crowder