Workin’ for the Man
by Chris Muir
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Posts Tagged ‘Guantanamo’
Bored Bloggers Are All Wet
by Mancow MullerI am not a magician. Many news cameras were there!
Obviously, it was on the radio and I wasn’t in prison. I’m also not a radicalized Muslim terrorist. But it was not a hoax! I repeat: NOT A HOAX.
We kept telling management, the insurance companies, and the local Chicago cops we weren’t really going to do it until we did. Otherwise, they weren’t gonna let us do it! We got a U.S. Marine that told us he had studied how to do it and he volunteered to waterboard me in return for a mention of his charity.
I was on a decline and I was waterboarded. Was I in chains? No. Does that make it less real? I am failing to get the point attempted by my detractors. We never claimed it was an exact recreation.
The CIA technique is exactly what we did:
1. Keep the chest elevated above the head and neck to keep the lungs “above the waterline.” (more…)
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Political Late Night Winners and Losers
by Tim SlagleIt had been about three weeks since my last Late Night review, so I thought the time was right. Wednesday Night, May 20, 2009, I reviewed: David Letterman, Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, Craig Ferguson, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Jimmy Fallon. I also took a look at the “Real Time with Bill Maher” from Friday May 19, and The season finale of Saturday Night Live.
Since my last review, we saw: A stand up comedy routine that was apparently gleaned from the mistaken assumption, that jokes about President Bush were standard Correspondent’s Dinner protocol. President Obama also announced his plan to save the auto companies by forcing them to raise their prices thirteen-hundred dollars (proving He has less business sense than the cartoon Wal-Mart slasher). He appeared on stage with a handful of people beholden to bailout money in a photo-op that looked very much like a hostage situation. Photographed on stage with Governors’ Granholm and Schwarzenegger, you had to guess which leader actually had a US birth certificate. He also broke his promises to end military tribunals, release the interrogation photos and suspend don’t ask don’t tell. He proved that He had as much problem speaking “Mexican,” as he has with “Austrian,” and promised to drastically slash the overdrawn budget by a whopping 1/2 of 1 %. (more…)
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Obama: The Great Disappointer
by John T. SimpsonThere have to be millions of American liberals, gays and left wingers totally disappointed with President Barack Obama today. It would seem that he, like they, were the idealists running headlong into the brick wall of harsh realities, and will now be running headlong into each other.
Even the Mighty KOS can’t hold them at bay.
You won’t find any of that disaffection in the Vein Stream Media, of course. Just as you’ll find none over people eating tree bark in Kim Jong-Il’s PR machine, and for the same Dear Leader reasons. But the press can cheerlead President Obama all it wants. It is the political base that matters, the grassroots networks upon which all fundraising, canvassing and voting is dependent.
And unless I’m completely mistaken, the President’s grassroots political base is, and will be, experiencing a number of earth-shaking political tremors in the days, months and years to come. Pick an issue, any issue. Gitmo? Having trouble there. Military tribunals for detainees? Ran against them, supporting them now. You know. Kinder, gentler violations of international law. (more…)
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Getting Real About Torture
by Mark TapsonSince our country’s having a heated conversation about torture, and especially since that conversation seems certain to devolve into a parade of politicized, self-flagellating show trials that will broadcast our divided weakness to the world, it’s time to get some perspective on what torture is and isn’t, and who does it and who doesn’t.
Let me state for the record that I firmly believe America should not torture. But I’m at ease about that, because America does not torture. Do we use harsh interrogation techniques? Of course we do, and why not? This is war – why should we treat captive enemy combatants to a rejuvenating stay at the Four Seasons? Some of these maniacs plotted the devastation of 9/11, all cheered it, and if given the chance, all would gleefully saw your head off and then post a video of it on the Internet as inspiration for others of their fanatical ilk. Many of them might have information that could prevent further mayhem here and abroad – information they’re not going to volunteer simply because we’re congenial hosts. (more…)
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Akmed’s Heroes
by Rodney Lee ConoverSo I’m having lunch with my buddy Sandy Frank, and we’re laughing about his idea to update ‘Hogan’s Heroes,’ but have the series set in Guantanamo Bay Prison. You know, a guy pulls back his prayer rug, revealing a tunnel that goes to Raul Castro’s rape room; the fat lovable guard who “knows nada!” and of course the foreign guy who kisses everybody… wait – I fused the wrong Richard Dawson in there for a second…
… Anywhoozer, I’m thinking later how crazy it was that they even got Hogan’s Heroes on the air, but at least the fascists were the bad guys and the Americans were the good guys. CUT TO: Any given night this week, no less than three contemporary movies are running on cable where the fascists are the good guys and the Americans are the bad guys… wow, talk about crazy. (more…)
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