About a decade ago I heard some tracks by Green Day– they were from the album Dookie, I believe. Somewhat hilariously these shouty pop ditties were being marketed as the spearhead of a punk revival- even though the music was not scary, not raw, not subversive, nor even very rebellious. There was clearly no danger one of these ‘Green Day’ boys was ever going to kill his girlfriend and then O.D. on heroin, for example — rather they were going to sell lots of records to disgruntled middle class kids then buy themselves a big house or two and a bunch of expensive cars. As the band was clearly irrelevant to anyone above the age of 15, I decided never to think about them again. 

I kept that up until last week, when the BH editors asked me to do some digging into the band’s 2004 album American Idiot. Apparently Tom Hanks’ production company has bought the rights to make a film based on this record — no doubt in-between those periods when Mr. Hanks is pondering deeply about the causes of World War II, and America’s racial hatred of the Japanese and Arabs + anyone else who is ‘different.’ 

This is what I uncovered: 

American Idiot is a ‘concept’ album that tells a narrative story throughout its 13 songs. Green Day apparently drew inspiration from The Who, a band that in the 1970s released a couple of concept albums, the most famous of which is Tommy, the nonsensical tale of a deaf, dumb and blind ‘pinball wizard.’ Immediately this set off a red flag because although Tommy contains a few good songs, taken as a whole, it is pretentious to an ear-incinerating degree, while the accompanying film is unwatchable unless you are out of your box on magic mushrooms.  (more…)

So as you know, many countries have set up camp to in Haiti help those recovering from the devastating earthquake. And at these camps, they are flying their flags. Only one country isn’t – and it’s the country that has done more to help Haiti – and the world in general – than any place else in the history of histories.

Of course that’s us.

According to the Army Times, veterans and servicemembers are pissed. They realize, like everyone else, that the US should be proud to fly the flag…anywhere, for that matter. After all, the US is a good place, filled with good people with big hearts and generous resources. It’s not like we’re Belgium.

(I kid the Belgians.)

Well, according to the Obama Administration, raising the US flag will make us look like bad guys. The U.S. government’s Haiti Joint Information Center, says: “We are not here as an occupation force, but as an international partner committed to supporting the government of Haiti on the road to recovery.” (more…)

Otherwise known as Robert Novak, this gnome-like figure dominated the political talk show landscape throughout the late 80’s and 90’s – as a panelist for “The McLaughlin Group,” and later the “Capital Gang.”

So, was Robert Novak the coolest man on the planet?

Of course not. But in my opinion, he deserves to be in the top 100.
Or, at least, ahead of anyone in Green Day. See, Robert Novak epitomized cool because he never cared about what people thought. Instead he stole the left’s stereotype of conservatism, and made it his own delightful persona. If being a fan of free markets, a strong defense and limited government made him evil, then evil he was.

And so he became the “Prince of Darkness.” And like the devil – he never changed. Novak never moved with the trends: he looked like Novak for a solid five decades short, round, dark, joyfully evil: for all we knew, he could have been an alien marble that survived on puppy souls. (more…)

As a middle-aged pudgy schlub, I am eternally in awe of those who serve in our armed forces. But my awe is always fueled by a little anger – primarily driven by our pop culture-driven media, and what they consider cool in this world.

In our current culture, here’s what we consider “daring:” barbed wire tattoos around the biceps of scrawny witless musicians, well-abbed unemployed drifters found on various reality shows, pierced, preeny “in your face” dip-wads from pranky stunt shows, spoken word cretins fueled by rage and poor hygiene, performance artists who use their own bodily fluids as both canvas and paint, brain-dead hard-partying actresses with assorted infections, extreme adventurers who require public-funded rescues, animal rights activists with more tics than friends, creepy new age healers who drink their own urine – and of course, Adrian Grenier. (more…)

Yes, you heard me. “Screw Europe,” I say to you. With all of this “repairing of international relations” going on, the press (along with every “Green Day Liberal” in the Western hemisphere) seem to be getting quite giddy. Finally we’ll be more like the Europeans and maybe, just maybe, that will allow us to be on better footing with them. To all of you I ask… Why?

Why on EARTH would the United States ever want to be more like Europe? Correct me if I’m wrong, but we left, did we not? Not only did we leave that older, lesser world behind, but we left skid-marks along the way with an entire continent eating our proverbial dust. Those were good times… Not to mention the asskickery that followed suit.

The truth is we’ve been doing things far better than Europe for centuries. We’ve built a stronger military and a much more dynamic economy than any of our European counterparts… And we’ve done it in record time. We left the world’s greatest superpowers one century only to blaze past them the next. (more…)

So yet another illegal alien has been found stowed away in the cargo area of a plane. He endured a hellish trip to get here, and will be returned to his heinous craphole of a country after being treated for dehydration.

Yeah, I know what he did was “illegal” and all that – but whenever I read about a dude pulling off something like this, I keep thinking an exception needs to be made. Whenever the amount of risk taken to come here far exceeds anything most Yankee chuckleheads would do to stay, then that risk taker deserves citizenship. I mean this guy risked his life so he could work as a cashier at Arby`s. Would Jon Cusack do the same?

Fact is, our country is crammed full with children who think they`re adults, and adults pretending to be children – all handed endless opportunities simply because they were born here. Millions of these Americans squander, mock and abuse the country that other folks would die to get into – and for this reason it`s time to enact a solution I’ve mentioned previously: a human trading system. Mind you: this is not human trafficking. It`s human trading. It`s different. There is no cash or sex involved (yet). (more…)

Green Day, which has been around since the late 1980s but only achieved mainstream commercial success with their 2004 album American Idiot, has a bone to pick with Wal-Mart. Why? Wal-Mart won’t carry their new CD, entitled 21st Century Breakdown, unless they provide a special version that doesn’t contain language considered offensive by the retail giant.

Wal-Mart has a longstanding policy about not selling CDs that would require a parental advisory sticker, but that doesn’t stop the navel-gazing band from kvetching about what they seem to perceive as censorship:

“They want artists to censor their records in order to be carried in there,” he said. “We just said no. We’ve never done it before. You feel like you’re in 1953 or something.”

Newsflash to the boys in the band: that’s what’s called making a business decision. Wal-Mart’s business decision is to ask bands to create “clean” versions of their albums for sale in Wal-Mart stores. Some bands comply while others, like Green Day, do not – in turn making their own business decision (something that Obama has yet to take away from businesses other than some in the auto industry). (more…)

I know, I know. It’s cliche and trust me, I hated the punks/celebrities who wore those slogan t-shirts throughout the Bush administration as much as the rest of you. The day Obama was elected, like many of you I told myself “Well, I didn’t vote for him, but he’s my President and I’ll support him.” A few months later, times have changed and I feel the need to officially declare that Barack Obama is “Not My President.” If you disagree, feel free to smack me around a little. If you feel the same way put your John Hancock down below and make your voice heard.

Seeing as the “Green Day Liberals/American Idiots” started the whole “Bush is not my President” schtick and their new album is dropping this week, I couldn’t think of a more appropriate time to issue a retort. Granted, the men of Green Day have had to overcome a lot to attain the success they enjoy today. It’s not every day that a group of legally-declared midgets can produce platinum-selling albums. Folks, I can give credit where credit is due. Rather than accept this success on behalf of the “little people” however, Green Day (along with other generic punk bands) had to start the “not my President” crusade against their commander in chief during a time of war. Punk bands even collectively put out the “Rock Against Bush” album which was eyebrow-raisingly sympathetic towards our enemies. Some would call it treason, I call it “a-bunch-of-uneducated-toolbags-playing-power-chords-in-an-attempt-to-brainwash-the-youth-of-America.” (more…)