The climate change conference is long gone, but with Christmas just around the corner, I figured there had to be a connection. Also, I’m writing this after a holiday party, so I’m drunk.

As President Obama says, let’s be clear: that comical Copenhagen conference wasn’t about science, it was about wealth transfer. The gist: because of America’s “hyper-industrialization,” we need to pay off poor countries for all the harm we’ve caused in the world. That’s the real green in the green movement: It’s cash, not grass.

What’s this have to do with Christmas? Well, I think the world has forgotten that the biggest gift to this planet is America’s industry – and it’s time to remind them where they would be without it.

1. Whenever a horrible disaster hits, they would be dead. Be it an earthquake, a tsunami or a Madonna tour – we’re usually the first and biggest responders – saving the injured, and helping to rebuild. It is because of our tremendous capability to mobilize quickly that makes us a nation of superheroes. It also takes planes, trucks and tractors to do that stuff. Imagine that carbon footprint. (more…)

“Relax, it’s just a movie.”

You often hear that when you step up to point out the lefty assumptions, biases and what John Nolte calls the “liberal tells” within popular entertainment.  You are allowed to praise the technical achievements of an Avatar – such as they are, since many of us think it looks freakin’ stupid – but heaven forbid that you dare question the hackneyed liberal noble savage clichés that James Cameron offers up instead of a story.  The message is clear – our proper role as pop culture consumers is to sit back, open our eyes, slacken our jaws and swallow Hollywood’s agenda.

But what is remarkable – and crucial – is that we are no longer passively accepting whatever Hollywood dumps on us.  The backlash to Avatar’s flabby thinking and tired ideology is the new paradigm, with even reviewers outside the conservative movement slagging it for its staggering intellectual hypocrisy, cardboard military/corporate villains and sophomoric Mother Earth enviro-babblings.

(more…)

Attention Santas:

This missive is directed at the guardians of, and donors to, tiny humans. If you fall into that category you likely are already familiar with Build-A-Bear, a world-wide corporation that provides the most innocent of services. They sell customizable stuffed animals. Make your own bear, dog…penguin. Cute concept.

So cute, in fact, that the Build-A-Bear empire sweeps across nearly every state and into 17 other countries. You’ll find their outlets in shopping malls everywhere and even some ballparks. The company also has a website called Build-A-Bearville.com where children can play an interactive video game that, on it’s surface, is unlikely to raise suspicion or sound alarms.

But when your unsuspecting tot logs on and hops a virtual train to the North Pole…you should know that he or she will be informed — by Santa Claus — that Christmas may be canceled this year due to Global Warming. Below is part two of the 3-part video.

(more…)

Christmas always reminds me of the time I discovered there was no Santa Claus. I woke up around 1 a.m., and wandered from my bed into the living room where I found my dad in his pajamas laying out presents under the tree. He told me to go back to bed, and I did – but I was crushed to see the illusion destroyed. So much so, it still bugs me – and it happened ages ago. Well, more like a year, and it really wasn’t my dad – it was a drifter I picked up in a Port Authority restroom – but the story still stands as a metaphor for health care.

Like a make believe Santa, the Democrats came in at 1 a.m., sliding down the chimney with a bag full of crap. Like a phony Santa, the health care bill cannot arrive in broad daylight – or you’ll expose the illusion. The same thing can be said for that “non-binding legal agreement” Obama took with him from Copenhagen. He should have just brought us clogs.

And you know, both examples are a lot like the type of gifts you get from selfish relatives who really wanted the gifts themselves. (more…)

So many in the media are delighting in the stupidity of the “Jersey Shore” cast. Just recently, Jay Leno had them on a quiz bowl, and the audience – buoyed by their own perceived superiority – chortled at their various mistakes.

But I ask: who’s dumber: the “Jersey Shore” cast, or those who call the “Jersey Shore” cast dumb?

The answer is the latter, which I think means “paddlefish.”

First off, when did these kids ever pass themselves off as smart? Did they ever say they were members of Mensa? Of course not: the only pompous jerks who tell you they’re in Mensa – are in Mensa.

Also, it’s not like these kids ever showed up in front of the cameras, clutching their diplomas from Cornell’s agricultural college – like some MSNBC hosts are known to do. No, they’re only proud of their abs. So what. None of that stuff affects you. The fact that they’re honest about their shallowness already puts them on an intellectual level higher than Sean Penn and Gynneth Paltrow, combined. (more…)

Every circus needs a clown, but sometimes it takes a clown to tell the truth.

And so we have Hugo Chavez, the pockmarked prince of all things petulant – paying a visit to the Climate Change conference to rousing, delirious applause. Check out the human sausage below.

In sum, Chavez is all about ending “imperial dictatorships,” and that “capitalism is the road to hell.” He says, “Let’s fight against capitalism and make it obey us.”

He also said he liked to have sex with goats while Sean Penn watched, but I may have gotten that translation wrong.

Anyway, according to the Herald Sun, all of this was greeted with a standing ovation. And Hugo deserves it – for he’s exposing this crap fest for what it is: a massive transfer of wealth from the west to scumbags like him.

But Chavez wasn’t the only one to lecture America on how evil we are. There was Zimbabwe President, Robert Mugabe, who noted that as “these capitalist gods of carbon…belch their dangerous emissions,” it’s “the lesser mortals of the developing sphere” who die. Yeah, we’re the murderers. Not Mugabe – who delighted in the torture, starvation and killing of his own people, for years. (more…)

So the Climate Change Summit is collapsing faster than an Ikea dresser, as everyone realizes you can’t pull off the world’s biggest bank heist in broad daylight.

Thank God Prince Charles has arrived, however, to tell us how the rest of us are harming the planet. Note: he arrived in a private jet that uses up to seven months’ worth of the typical British person’s “carbon footprint.” I know, I know – we can’t expect him to take the train. But the very least, we can expect him to stay home and shut the hell up. After all, he has two ears to feed.

Meanwhile, Danish police fired pepper spray at protesters – those self-righteous goons who clamor for immediate action – knowing that, as activists, they won’t have to pay for it. The rest of us, of course, will. That’s the rule of environmentalism - do as I shout, not as I do. Whether you’re Prince Charles or an unwashed activist – consequences mean little as long as your intentions are in the right place.

But that should be no surprise to anyone who has been following this movement. I’ve spent a decade watching the cult of climate change grow, and realized the belief springs from a bitter view of humanity. Communism was a movement meant to suppress individual ingenuity and industry. When it fell, those followers – and those drawn to that ideological allure – had to go somewhere. The Communist Manifesto became An Inconvenient Truth. (more…)

The RUSH is what scares me.

“Impatience does not diminish but augments the evil.” (Latin proverb)

Okay, we all know that this global warming thing is a politically based, scientifically unproven, exaggeration based on greed, power and big government control.  I just did my science term paper on it and science hasn’t found an accurate way to measure global climate yet. But, what if it is true that industry, production, coal use and automobiles are emitting too much poison into the atmosphere, and our earth is sensitive to this, being damaged by this, and that there is potential damage coming to our future generations…

…wouldn’t the logical, reasonable thing be to intelligently discuss the topic?  Perhaps a televised debate between two respected scientists who have no political ties, who have opposite opinions on the climate change topic?  Isn’t that the way civilized people approach problems?! (more…)

What are the global warming grunts going to do now that the Apostles of the Holy Church of Climatology have been busted for cooking the “truth” (I believe the exact word they used was “tricking” us) so that we the sheeple would step-n-fetch to their Chicken Little crap?

What will chunky Al Gore do seeing that he has officially slammed into a veritable inconvenient truth? I hear that Gore hasn’t been this gauche since he was busted in 2001 by Warren Christopher while lip-synching to “Dancin’ With Myself” in the Lincoln Bedroom wearing only Tipper’s pantyhose, Madonna’s snow cone bra, and Janet Reno’s glasses.

Washington Examiner:

So it’s come to this. If, and I say if only because it isn’t, global warming is a man-made desecration of the planet, the head table of that desecration has been set up this week in Copenhagen under the aegis of stopping the man-made desecration of the planet.

Crazy, huh? But there is a darker vibe about the craziness this time around. I used to feel it was funny crazy, UFO-Loch Ness crazy. Now though, it’s becoming disturbing crazy.

In the wake of the publishing of the East Anglia e-mails, I’m beginning to see a Roy Cohn-at-Tailgunner-Joe’s-side quality in some of the more zealous climatological gurus’ incessant bleats. (more…)

So last Monday’s Gregalogue on the Climate Change conference caused a flurry of emails.

Well, not really a flurry.

More like twelve. But if climate change apostles can exaggerate facts, why can’t I?

Anyway, I got one missive, which I condensed, from a guy named Jonathan. It goes:

…the Gallup poll Mr. Gutfeld mentioned … on climate change took place in 1991…Climatology is still a relatively new science and progress in the last 18 years has been substantial. There has … been a good deal of skepticism among scientists…and more recent polls show that this research has changed most of their minds. It is irresponsible to cite a poll almost 20 years old without noting it.

Jonathan then cited a poll where a large majority of respondents accept human activity as a global warming cause. (more…)

So while Copenhagen airport expects up to 140 extra private jets during the Climate Change summit, everyone else in the eye of the global warming storm is circling their solar-powered wagons.

Predictably, New York Times says those Climategate emails reveal nothing more than the pettiness of a few scientists – and in no way undermines global warming science. Meanwhile, The Environmental Protection Agency has announced that greenhouse gases are endangering people’s health, making way for the Obama administration to enact regulation without congressional action. And no surprise, both Robert Gibbs and the chair of the IPCC dismissed the Climategate scandal as no big deal.

Oh look – Here’s some tape of all delegates arriving.

Oh, how the planet weeps! (more…)

Bonus!: Here’s a clip of me and a guest fighting over global warming:

Guests:
the delightful Barret Swatak
the delectable Jill Dobson
the determined Andrew Breitbart!
and the wonderful actor Joel David Moore
Plus – my mom!

Double Bonus!: After the jump, whatever that is! (more…)

“[Marxist theories provide] a set of slogans that were supposed to justify and glorify communism and the slavery that inevitably goes with it… [although] the ideological fantasies of this movement … were no more than a nonsensical expression of the whims of spoilt middle-class children… the movement did without doubt express a profound crisis of faith.”– Leszek Kolakowski

We live in interesting times, as goes the ancient Chinese curse, wherein vainglorious environmentalist addicts to “the self-deification of mankind” are now desperately clinging to Nietzsche’s “God is dead” raft because humans are, according to their pseudo-science, “killing the planet.” 

Yet, as the self-serving rats abandon the sinking ship of fools, the band of “Green Freak” true believers plays on…  (more…)

Many people were offended to see Barack Obama once again bowing to a foreign dignitary, the Emperor of Japan.  For my part, I was actually relieved that at least this latest breech of protocol didn’t involve his kowtowing to one of America’s sworn enemies. 

As most people are well aware, I have nothing but loathing for Obama’s policies, but even I am amazed by his reluctance to handle what I regard as the easy part of his job; namely, carrying off his responsibilities to be a figurehead, to be the proud symbol of this great and generous nation. 

Instead, he tours the world on our dime apologizing for our alleged failings and transgressions.  He goes to Denmark in order to lobby for the Olympics, in order that his corrupt Chicago cronies could cash in on crooked land deals, but he doesn’t go to Germany to help commemorate the falling of the Berlin Wall.  Next, instead of expressing the grief that every decent American felt over the slaughter of American soldiers and an unborn baby by an Islamic terrorist, this bozo gave a partisan shout-out at a Native American shindig.  Then, for good measure, he warned us not to jump to the conclusion that the Islamic terrorist was an Islamic terrorist.  (more…)