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(Ringggggggggggggg.)

Todd, the assistant to the assistant of Ms. Clinton:

Mrs. Clinton? Mr. Clinton is on the phone for you.

Hillary:

That’s MS. Clinton. Give me that phone.

Hello…?

Bill: 

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA BWAAA HAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHA! Ho ho ho HOOO HOOO BWAAAAAAAAH HAHA HA HA HA, uh Heee hee heeee………Ohhhhhh hey, Hun!

Hillary:

Helloooooooo?

Bill:

Bwaaaaaaa Heee hee hee heee… Ehh hmm.. Hey, Hillary, how’s it going?  See me on the TV?

Hillary: 

Yes saw you. How’s it going with me? Oh pretty well, Bill. Very busy over here in….. ah… this country he’s got me in.

Bill:  

Yeah, Barry sure has got you on the run, huh?

Hillary:

No Bill, I’ve got me on the run to important things. What is it you want, Bill?

Bill:

What is it I want?  BWAAAAAAAAAA HA AH AH AH AH AH HA HA HA HA HA HA. Just to let you know babe:… I’M BAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKK! The Slickster! The Reuniter! I’M BAAAAAAAAAACK! No more walking that rotten dog! No more boring lunches in Harlem! No more MISTER Hillary. BWAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AHAAA HAHA BWAAA Heee hee hee. Oh ho ho… sorry hun.

Hey all kiddin’ aside Honey, did you see Al with that green ‘welcome home’ banner? And that lil’ commercial for that radio station he’s hawkin’?

Hillary:

It’s a TV station, Bill.

Bill: 

Yeah, whatever… I mean is he a hoot or what? And what about Barack ‘Dr. Distraction’ Obama. This guys slick meter is on the uptick.

Hillary:

Quite a compliment coming from you. Bill, is there anything important you need to tell me? I mean I am very busy here.

Bill:

Oh sure you are, I know, honey. I just wanted to talk to you first… as soon as I got off the plane.

Hillary:

Oh, I planned on hearing from you, Bill.

Bill:

Okay babe, being I’m in L.A., I’m gonna go hit the strip tonight with Al and a few of his greenies. He’s got a super stretch that runs on mouse crap, or something. I’m just gonna go have a few laughs.

Hillary:  

Hopefully no more than you’re having on this conversation, Bill.

Bill:

Oh I am sorry, Hill, it’s just… it’s just… don’t you just find this ironic? I mean I call the Obama camp a fairytale, and he has me go out there and save the day.  Bet you wish it was you, huh Hillary?

(Click)

Bill: 

Awww… she hung up. Hey, H.W., you still on the line? 

President George Herbert Walker Bush:

Yeah, Bill, I’m here.. You still got it bro!

Bill:

Pretty good huh?

H.W.:

Oh man I am cryin’ here. I gotta call the boy and tell’m about this one. BWAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. See ya on the golf course, Billy!

The year was 1984 and Michael Jackson was the biggest sensation since Elvis – moonwalking was rapidly replacing blue suede shoes in America’s pop culture lexicon.  Jackson’s notorious publicity machine was becoming a global tour de force, and he was sending the White House requests for visits, concert tickets and more!  Most of all, Jackson was keen on having Reagan present him with a major award.

After all, Michael Jackson always gets what he wants, right? This has been a familiar refrain in the stories to emerge from the recent coverage of the pop star’s death — Jackson wanted a Chimp named Bubbles, he got it.  Jackson wanted a rocket suit, he got it.  New nose? Done, done and done again!  One of the tragedies about Michael Jackson is that no one would ever say “no” to him.  Makes you wonder if Jackson was not only the King of Pop, but the Prince of little Punks. 

In 1984, when the Jackson’s “Victory” tour was heading to Washington, D.C., the White House received a list of wishes Jackson expected to have granted: Presidential attendance at the performance, official White House invitations along with special honors from the President lauding — and practically knighting — him in front of the world press (though Jackson didn’t use the word “knight,” we know he had probably picked out the outfit as evidenced in the above photo).

The whole affair would mean big, big headlines.  But there was one hiccup.  Jackson’s requests had to go through a certain 29 year old lawyer named John Roberts — and he was no pushover. Roberts fired off this memo:

Frankly, I find the obsequious attitude of some members of the White House staff toward Mr. Jackson’s attendants, and the fawning posture they would have the President of the United States adopt, more than a little embarrassing.

With that, the bubble burst on the King of Pop. While most of the world was going ga-ga, Roberts was unimpressed and level headed. Denying Jackson’s request for a major award to be presented by President Reagan, Roberts penned a confidential memo to his boss saying:

Enough is enough. The Office of Presidential Correspondence is not yet an adjunct of Michael Jackson’s PR firm.

Not… yet. Perhaps even Roberts recognized the immense, inevitable power of Jacko.  Eventually Reagan held a ceremony in the Rose Garden to present a lesser, symbolic humanitarian award to Jackson for a PSA announcement on teen drinking and driving.  A scant six years later, Roberts had moved on, and Jackson was back at the White House.  This time, he received his much bigger, super-duper award from President George H.W. Bush: “Artist of the Decade.”  When even Presidents can’t say “no,” druggists have no chance.

Now, I can’t speak for Judge Sotomayor, but all this raises a VERY important question that I hope someone asks: would a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male, like John Roberts, who hasn’t lived that life?  Or put more simply: would she have said ‘no’ to Jacko?

A: 24th

Every education reform effort since the National Defense of Education Act signed in 1958 has begun with soaring rhetoric, big promises, and massive budgets and delivered not much in the way of results.

In 1979, Jimmy Carter created the Department of Education; George H.W. Bush promised to “map a new approach to education”; Bill Clinton signed his “Goals 2000″; and George W. Bush had his “me too” moment with “No Child Left Behind.” Yet in spite of all these efforts and billions upon billions of dollars only 23% of American students were proficient in reading by graduation in 2005. In fact, according to the most recent data from the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP), reading scores have remained flat while real federal spending per pupil has more than tripled since 1985. The average freshman graduation rate has also remained flat according to the National Center for Education Statistics.

These statistics give the lie to the myth that increases in educational spending will result in improved academic performance. Moreover, they suggest that it is high time that we recognize the distinction between public schools and public education. Public schools are schools run through the political process while public education is a commitment to spend public dollars wherever children receive the best education, whether that be in the basement of a church or the dining room of your neighbor’s home.

The point is expertly driven home in the new documentary, “Flunked” produced by Steven Maggi of the Evergreen Freedom Foundation. The stars of this 49 minute long peek at education in America are the educators and schools that are achieving results by thinking outside of the box and pissing off the organized, entrenched interests in the process.

Highlighted in the film are Howard Lappin, former principal of the Foshay Learning Center in Watts, California. When Lappin arrived at Foshay, he noticed that the kids in 7th and 8th grade were basically at a 3rd and 4th grade remedial math level. He insisted that they be made to do grade appropriate work much to the chagrin of the parents and school unions who all complained that algebra was too difficult for them.

And there is Karen Jones, principal of the Sisulu Children’s Academy in Harlem. Jones has taken this school filled with Title I or at risk children and turned it into one of the top performing schools in all of Manhattan.

However, the star of this film is the outspoken Dr. Ben Chavis, principal of the American Indian Public Charter School in Oakland, CA. Chavis, a Native American raised as a sharecropper, holds no punches when it comes to his ideas on educating minority children in low income areas: “they need structure and discipline and no excuses!” When Chavis arrived at the Indian charter school in 2001, it was the worst school in the district. Chavis describes it as defined by multi-cultural nonsense – “a bunch of Indians sitting around in a circle weaving baskets.”

Chavis immediately began to challenge all of the orthodoxy. Gone went the middle school rotation of classes. With the exception of gym class, students now spend the entire day with one teacher. Gone went the computers. Says Chavis with a chuckle, “They can’t read. They don’t need a computer.” Forget small classes. Chavis has an average class size of 28. Chavis began to emphasize the basics. The first three hours of each day is devoted to math and English. When Chavis noticed that the North Carolina math curriculum was superior to that proscribed in California, he dumped the California books and began teaching the North Carolina curriculum. Chavis’ unorthodox methods have turned the Indian school into the best middle school in Oakland.

The approach of Chavis may not work for every student. “Flunked” makes clear that there is no single solution to the problems of our education system or one school delivering the goods. The one size fits all approach to education does not work. What does work, however, is dynamic leadership, high standards and high expectations for students, flexible curriculum and personnel practices and parental participation.

Public education must empower parents to spend public dollars on education that works. Without options, we can devote all of our GNP towards education and it will only be throwing good money after bad.

Joseph C. Phillips is the author of “He Talk Like a White Boy” available wherever books are sold.