[Ed. Note: For a refresher course, you can watch every Super Bowl ad right here.]

Before I get started on my review of this year’s Super Bowl commercials I want to come to the aid of a lady in distress. Can we lay off of Christina Aguilera and her muffed line in the National Anthem? Look, she was nervous, under pressure, and out of her element. The NFL asked her to sing fully clothed and without a stripper pole to hang onto. While I’m on the subject of the Nation Anthem why can’t the football players show a little respect when the country is being honored? Their sideline slouching was shameful! Roger Goodell, get out your paddle and take some of those guys to the woodshed.

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Once again, the folks who thought Super Bowl 45  was a good way to spend their investors dollars, spent slightly more than the gross national product of Niger and Ethiopia combined with, in most cases, very mediocre results. With so many ads it’s hard in a short piece to hit them all so I am skipping all the promos and movie trailers although the Fox/House parody of the 1980 Mean Joe Green was one of my favorites.

I think I have finally figured out that GoDaddy.com is run by a horny fifteen year old boy out of his parents’ basement. What in the world does trying to make me think Joan Rivers is hot have to do with getting a domain name? Joan is a safe distance from “hot” no matter how many body doubles they used. I don’t know how much money Danica Patrick and Jillian Michaels are paid to debase themselves in what year after years have been the unsexiest and unfunniest ads, but it isn’t nearly enough. The ads beg us to go to their website to see the “uncensored” endings to the ads. I wonder how many frustrated high school boys went to GoDaddy thinking they were going to see Ms. Patrick and Ms. Michaels in the buff but only found a lame joke/dance number instead. Can someone tell me who GoDaddy’s biggest competitor are because I am moving my domain name.

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Tonight:

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Atlantic Wire:

Plenty of potential Super Bowl ads are seemingly made to be rejected. Why? 30-second spots during the broadcast are going for $3 million, and once an ad is nixed it gets plenty of free publicity (See: “Is Doritos Mocking Christians?“). But usually, as Politics Daily’s David Gibson observes, the majority of ads being waved away are done so for inappropriate or racy content. The latest spot to be rejected by Fox broadcasting was done so for “advancing particular beliefs or practices,” which is against company policy.

In other news, the very same network that opposes ”advancing particular beliefs or practices” will immediately follow the Super Bowl with a Very Special Episode of “Glee.”

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Great show tonight:

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When Whoopi Goldberg appeared as a guest on Fox News’ Huckabee show on November 21st, except for being a bit more caustic than normal, she was her usual arrogant self. For example, after making it clear that she was unapologetic for storming off the set of The View on October 14th, when Bill O’Reilly dared use the words “terrorists” and Muslims in the sentence, she also added that she’s never said anything “on television about somebody or an issue that [she] wished [she] hadn’t…said.” (I find such positing untenable because Whoopi is known to state one thing as her bona fide position at 5 o’clock, then turn around and state the complete opposite as her position at 6.)

She’s done this with racism, and now she’s doing it with the distinction between fact and opinion.

For instance, when Whoopi told Governor Mike Huckabee she doesn’t regret anything she’s said, she was at least willing to admit she’s said things that were controversial. But she said she stood behind them because they were all representative of her “opinion.”

Goldberg’s defense of her statements, admittedly based on “opinion,” proved ironic at best, considering the FACT that she spent a considerable portion of the Huckabee interview attacking bloggers for “[saying] endless stuff” for which they “don’t have to fact check.” In other words, she attacked bloggers for making statements based on opinion.

Moreover, when Goldberg appeared on Fox News’s O’Reilly on November 23rd, she rejected facts O’Reilly presented to her. From the fact that the Japanese attacked us at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941; to the fact that “90 percent of the terrorists” in the world are Muslim to the fact that Jews are still a more persecuted people group than any other, Goldberg sidestepped all by regurgitating the same liberal talking points again and again. She finally dismissed O’Reilly’s points altogether by saying that she and he “disagreed.” (Ironically, in her appearance on Huckabee two days prior to O’Reilly, Goldberg said: “I think fact outweighs assumption. So if you have facts in your hands, then you can talk.” Yet when O’Reilly had facts “in [his] hand,” Goldberg rejected them because they weren’t congruent with her worldview.) (more…)

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“This coming Sunday night, the Family Guy episode starring me. The title of the Family Guy episode is Excellence In Broadcasting; the premise is, I am in town for a book signing. Of course I haven’t written a book in sixteen years. But I am in the town where this wacko family lives, doing a book signing, and the family dog comes down to start giving me some grief — Brian — and I rescue the dog from some precarious situation — dog becomes a big conservative, follows me around, actually becomes more conservative than I am and starts calling me a weenie. …

“I’ve been in a couple of Family Guy episodes already and I’ve gotten to know Seth MacFarlane pretty well. Yeah, he’s a Hollywood liberal, but we get along. Seth appreciates and has a great affection for professionals.”

Here’s the promo for Sunday night:

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And below the fold is the artwork Rush posted on his Facebook page. (more…)

The FOX-TV comedy-drama series The Good Guys continues in reruns tonight at 9 EDT. It’s well worth it to catch an episode or two—and you might find yourself tuning in regularly or even downloading a few episodes (at a very attractive price).

Set in modern-day Dallas, The Good Guys was created by Matt Nix, the brains behind the USA Network hit Burn Notice. As Nix and his team proved in that show, he is a master of satisfyingly complex plotting. Those who enjoy a whacking good story in which characters are confronted with tough moral choices will enjoy Burn Notice immensely.

But whereas Burn Notice includes elements of comedy but is basically a crime/espionage/adventure drama, The Good Guys is more directly comic in intent. The premise is simple: two Dallas police detectives who have fallen out with their bosses are exiled to handle lame, unchallenging property-crimes cases. The brilliant twist that Nix and his team put on this premise is that each case leads to a much bigger crime, often involving murder, which ultimately results in the two detectives bringing very big criminals to justice.

Thus the show amusingly illustrates the “Broken Windows” crime-fighting theory of James Q. Wilson and George L. Kelling—literally, in the case of episode 2, “Bait and Switch.” In fact, the third episode, “Broken Door Theory,” proves that the show’s creators know the theory and recognize it as an inspiration for the show’s concept: the two detectives discuss the notion and what it means: “The idea is you got to stop the small crimes before they become the big ones,” Stark explains, correctly. (more…)

Jim Treacher reports that former child actor (and pride of the Evanston Township HS English Department) John Cusack has discovered the joys of Twitter, with somewhat predictable results.

Crueler folks have already analyzed Mr. Cusack’s 140-character musings and theorized the poor fellow has finally cracked under the pressure of living in the shadow of his more popular and talented sibling Joan; a clear misdiagnosis, in my opinion, as these armchair psychologists understand neither method acting nor the inner workings of the film industry. Rather than a cry for help, any fool can see that Mr. Cusack’s curious tweeting is a cleverly disguised request for new script pitches from Hollywood writing professionals. Like myself.

Well, this is one aspiring screen scribe who knows an opportunity when he sees one! So I quick put together a few sure-fire plot treatments designed at relaunching Mr. Cusack’s moribund career. Synopses below.

And John, if you’re reading this? My option (and spell-checking) fees are very reasonable. Let’s do lunch. (more…)

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Into my eye line he walks, like Gary Cooper … or Sidney Poitier … onto the dusty main street of High Noon!

And in America it is, indeed, approaching High Noon.

Colonel Allen West.

My awareness of him is a little over 48 hours old … but, when a situation such as ours in America has been growing to homicidally insane levels for over thirty-six years – ever since the Supreme Court’s Roe v Wade decision – the cry for a great leader has been rising out of our guts day and night.

Viewing Col. West’s sermon at the Ebenezer Baptist Church, then his lecture on tactics, operations and strategy in Afghanistan and, finally, his relaxed and witty appearance on Fox’s Red Eye?

What ‘s not to shout “hallelujah” about?!

A few of the most important video clips were linked in Dave Reaboi’s introductory column about Col West in BIG PEACE. (more…)

Several weeks ago, two critically-acclaimed and extremely inventive television series aired their final episodes. With the new summer television season upon us and fall premieres just a few months away, we can only hope that these upcoming shows deliver in the same way that “24” and “Lost” did during their respective tenures, a way that maintained strong, loyal and passionate audiences that stuck for the long term. While many other programs focused on stories that resolved themselves in an hour’s time, both “Lost” and “24” presented topics that are not usually addressed on prime time, served their core audiences, kept them surprised, and will both be remembered for many years to come as strong examples of what prime-time television can accomplish.

In terms of their plots, “24” and “Lost” have very little in common. “24,” which ran for eight years on Fox, was about a counter-terrorism agent named Jack Bauer. Each episode detailed an hour in the life of Bauer and his work fighting against terrorists and threats to the United States. “Lost,” on the other hand, ran for six years on ABC and told the story of a group of plane crash survivors who land on a strange and mysterious island and had to learn to live on that island while dealing with a “smoke monster” and a group of mysterious individuals on the island’s other side.

Admittedly, I have not seen every episode of “Lost” (I recently watched the first few seasons  and the sixth season when it aired), and I likely missed a few random episodes of “24″ along the way, but it only takes an episode or two of each program for a viewer to realize that these shows are not typical network fare. Firstly, both addressed issues that are seldom brought up on network television. This USA Today article about “Lost” in mid-May noted: (more…)

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“Objection, your honor.” - Jack McCoy

Law & Order devotees have subconsciously felt this moment coming for some time, but now that the axe has finally fallen, many of us are grappling with television-induced heartache.

NBC confirmed Friday that it had canceled the original “Law & Order,” bringing an end to a 20-year-old television drama that jump-started an era of television production in New York City.

“Law & Order” was on the verge of becoming the longest-running drama in prime-time television history, surpassing “Gunsmoke.” But it appears that the “Law & Order” executive producer, Dick Wolf, has settled for a tie. The final episode of the series will be shown on May 24, NBC confirmed in a news release Friday.

As I ponder the unwelcome reality that one of my favorite shows is, well, done-done,  I’m struggling to get past the unsatisfying fact that one of television’s longest running programs was unceremoniously dropped–with neither fanfare nor closure.   As the process shook out, the final episode ended up being shot before NBC decided to pull the plug.  The end result: What was initially written and produced as a season finale (which was excellent, especially S. Epatha Merkerson’s moving performance and Sam Waterson’s epic rant) became the de facto series finale.  Law & Order’s cast, crew, and fans deserve better. (more…)

24 is now officially over.  As with so many of the previous seasons, this final one ended with Jack Bauer wounded, bereft of sleep, separated from his family, barely hanging on to see another day, but hanging on with his enemies including his own countrymen continuing in their pursuit of him.

Through all the years, the sheer genius of 24 lay in the fact that viewers returned show after show, even though they already knew its outcome.  No matter what the odds, no matter how dire the circumstances, no matter how evil the enemy, Jack Bauer was going to find a way to survive. 

What is it about this character that so captivated the American public?  It was not Jack Bauer himself but the ideals he represented.

Jack was good, and there is still something embedded deep within the American spirit that makes us long to see this good triumph over evil.  Regardless of the political correctness of the program in recent years, and regardless of the bastardizing of those who strive for truth, justice and morality in popular culture, there are still Americans out there of all political stripes that understand that in this world there is good and evil.  Every human being is nuanced, and man’s imperfection is endemic, but we still intuitively know that there are real heroes, protectors, patriots. (more…)

[Ed. Note: Please welcome Bruce Carroll from the indispensable Gay Patriot blog, an early supporter of yours truly (thanks, Dan!) and my favorite gang of apostates.]

There’s a simmering civil war in my house on Tuesday nights.  First off, I’m so disgusted with the lack of talent on American Idol that I can’t stand watching it anymore.  But, my partner John still enjoys it so FOX is on Tuesdays.  But the battle lines have now been drawn at 9:00PM. All over a little show you may have heard about: Glee.

Yes, we enjoy musicals and stage productions; but let’s not be too stereotypical, shall we?  In fact, I was a late bloomer to Glee.  John loved it from the beginning and got me to tune in by convincing me it was the next best thing to sliced bread.  For a while, I agreed with him and thoroughly enjoyed watching the show.  I especially enjoyed the music.  Producer Ryan Murphy is a fellow Gen-Xer and you definitely know it from the 80s-inspired songs he has used to form the basis of much of Glee’s musical foundation.

So, like much of America (and probably all of gay America), I was hooked last year on the music, the kids and the story of William McKinley High School [fictional] in Lima, Ohio [not fictional].  (more…)

Like many Americans, I tuned into “Glee” this Monday to give the show a second go. In the spirit of objectivity, I must admit that the cast is talented, the characters well-developed, and there’s some strong writing to tie it all together. I felt that it deserved another shot. Only eight minutes into the episode however, much like Ralphie with his Little Orphan Annie decoder pen, I’d been skunked again. Is anybody else turning the dial off of “Glee” for good?

If you frequent the BigHollywood often, you’ve no doubt read about Glee’s recent jabs aimed toward Conservatives (more specifically, last week with Sarah Palin). Despite Sarah Palin having a legion of supporters (many of whom watch “Glee”), the people at Fox thought that it was a safe bet. After all, none of their Hollywood buddies would criticize them for it. That would require, shall we say… testicles? No, when it comes to speaking up against the popular opinion among their elitist peers, Tinseltown decided to lie themselves on the neutering bench a long time ago. It’s because of this that they travel in packs, making drive-bys and are more akin to acting like Cobra-Kais’ cronies than fighting the establishment a la Daniel Larusso. When “Glee” took a swipe at Ann Coulter this week, one could faintly hear the cries of their Hollywood lackeys screeching “Get’him a bodybag!” in the studio back lots and writers’ boardrooms. (more…)

Must be nice being a leftie and NEVER having to worry about some childish television creator taking a gratuitous shot — from completely out of nowhere — at what you believe in. Not so for we righties. When all we want after a hard day of gay bashing, cross burning and kitten punting is to get lost in mindless entertainment, we always have to worry about stuff like this:

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This is why I stopped watching television over a decade ago. Tired of being insulted. Tired of being disappointed. And you can practically feel the people behind the childish political shot laughing at your Charlie Brown as they once again pull the football away.

“Glee” spent all of last season building up buzz and an audience, and as soon as they get one: POW!

Screw you, righties. We don’t like you and we think you’re stupid for liking Palin.

But it’s more than that. This stuff matters. (more…)

Success in Hollywood is, for the most part, random.  

Now, there are certain projects that even a Bedouin nomad knows will be a monster hit.  Lord of The Rings is one.  It also happened to be executed with near perfection. There are also certain projects that any inmate of Shutter Island knows will be a total disaster. Battlefield Earth is one.  Catwoman is another.  

Otherwise, it’s a total crapshoot.  But there’s a difference in perception depending on how things turn out.  If it’s a hit, it’s easy to look like a genius by saying you knew it would be a hit the day the project came across your desk.   Or, if it’s a surprise hit, you can coo,“we were just passionate about the project and knew audiences would love it if it was given a chance”.  Presto.  

But it’s easy to look like a fucking moron when a movie or TV show fails and it usually is because the programmer is a fucking moron.  Because anyone can tell when a truly crap project is a crap project from day one.  (The exceptions to the failure rule are those truly great works that fail, but find reverent critical reception – thus saving all involved from embarrassment and even giving them bragging rights by creating a “cult classic”).  (more…)

This week’s two hour episode of 24 was emotionally exhausting.  Viewers spent two hours watching Jack Bauer race to save the Middle Eastern President of Kamistan, Omar Hassan, upon whose life peace in the region rested.  In spite of Jack’s efforts to keep him safe, per the direct order of the President of the United States, Hussan gave himself up to terrorists to save New York from a dirty bomb.  Jack Bauer and the CTU team raced to save him, but arrived too late, only to find President Hassan with his throat slit.  The President of the United States, who had worked with Hassan to broker a peace agreement, watched his execution broadcast to the world on the internet.

After becoming invested in the very likeable Hassan character over the course of the season, the viewer saw him meet his bloody, horrific demise.  As emotionally exhausting as that was for the viewers, that is one of the things that has kept them watching and what makes 24 so different.  From season one, which ended with Jack’s wife being killed, 24 broke the rules of television drama.  On television series the good guys don’t die.  They are rescued in the nick of time.  But on 24 no one, except Jack Bauer, is safe.  24 has kept viewers on the edge of their seats because they really didn’t know what would happen next.  On 24 anything can happen.  Well, anything except the death of Jack Bauer.

Fox’s 24 series began in 2001, the year of the 9/11 attacks.  In fact, the premier episode was delayed because of the attacks .  24 is different from the norm — at times being politically incorrect.  On 24 we saw Middle Eastern, Muslim terrorists, not just the white supremacists so many of the movies following 9/11 preferred to depict.  The heroes in the show, particularly Bauer, were even depicted engaging in “enhanced interrogation techniques.”  Sometimes the only way for Jack Bauer to save the day was through his ability to extract information using some form of torture. (more…)

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