Top 5: True-Crime Reality Shows

Other than “The Sopranos,” scripted television and I parted ways many, many years ago, and it was an ugly break up, as well. When someone has only three reasons to live and one of them is prematurely yanked off the air you have to expect he’ll take it a little personal. (My two remaining reasons are none of your business but rest assure they’re just as shallow and one involves chocolate jimmies.)

“24” lured me back for a few seasons but the epic double standard of watching the same industry that uses three weekly “Law & Order” primetime hours to demonize Christians subsequently air a “Muslims Aren’t Bad Guys” PSA made my stomach hurt to the point to where I’ve been psychologically conditioned to no longer watch.  Everyone tells me television is where the best writing and acting is these days, at least compared to theatrical films (there’s a low bar), and that’s probably true. But God invented my DVD-purchasing addiction and Turner Classic Movies for a reason, right?

Which isn’t to say I never watch television. My “Sanford and Son” DVD collection is on regular rotation. As a matter of fact I’m watching “The Greatest American Hero” right now. On regular DVR rotation, though, is the growing list of documentary true-crime series that air constantly on, among others, the Bio, Tru, and Discovery channels.

My decade-long attraction/addiction to these programs has nothing to do with the grisly details involved in the various violent crimes (and I no longer need tips on how to plot, execute and get away with the perfect murder).  If your goal is to wallow in crime’s ugliness there’s a series called “I Survived” where victims go into great detail about their abuse at the hands of murderers and rapists. There’s also MSNBC’s awful off-hours “Lock Up” series. Both programs make you want to take a shower. Both are unwatchable. (more…)