Lamest Attempt at Obama Joke: David Letterman claimed that Obama was in Russia, hiking the Appalachian trail.

Letterman also used John McCain as a foil on three different nights to compare the disparity between winners and losers of the last Presidential election: While Obama traveled to Russia to meet with Putin, McCain was chasing kids off his lawn. While Obama was in Italy, McCain was heating up a can of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee; While Obama was in Italy meeting with the G-8, McCain was on his front porch in Arizona, waving at cars.

Conan O’Brien also seems to like the ageist jokes, claiming that John McCain is using twitter, only he’s twittering on his garage door opener. With all the McCain material, and the dearth of Obama jokes, you’d almost think John McCain won the election. According to Craig Ferguson, when Palin resigned, John McCain said, “Who?”

Most Overused Person as a Punchline: Sarah Palin for her resignation. Letterman claimed she blamed the media, and was spotted in a helicopter shooting Wolf Blitzer. Conan said America was just ranked the 114th happiest nation,in the world but when Palin resigned it moved up to 17th. He also suggested she might be doing a TV show for viewers that find Paula Abdul too coherent. Letterman claimed the Governorship now passes down to Miss Congeniality, Ferguson claimed it goes to Chillee Willee.

Writers over Shoulders Award: This week it goes to to all three Late Nights. O’Brien, Letterman, and Ferguson each did a  play on Tina Fey’s old joke about Sarah Palin seeing Russia from her house. (I believe we’re coming up on the one year anniversary of that one.) Conan claimed that while Obama was in Russia, he could see Palin cleaning out her office. Craig Ferguson did a version of the joke, claiming he wouldn’t use the room she stayed in during his USO tour because he didn’t want a room where he could see Russia. Letterman claimed that while Barack was in Russia, Sarah Palin waved at him. He was actually so enamored with that joke he used it four times on three different nights. On Tuesday he actually used it twice in the same monologue.

But Letterman’s favorite joke he used most every night was, “Mosquitoes mate and breed in standing water, kinda like my in-laws.” A couple of times he also told a joke about his mom thinking the Fourth of July fireworks were an attack from North Korea.

Oldest Presidential Joke of the Week: Even though Letterman and Ferguson both made Clinton jokes, this week’s award goes to Conan O’Brien for telling a Classic Bob Hope Presidential Library joke: “Saddam Hussein’s gun will be displayed in George Bush’s Library, right next to the book.”

Funniest Obama Line of the Week: Goes to Conan O’Brien who claimed that when Barack was in Moscow he gave a speech to an economics class entitled, “Can we borrow 4 trillion Rubles?” Runner up also goes to Conan who claimed that Obama was in Italy because the Italians were great allies of ours, excepting anytime we’ve gone to war. Conan also did the only mention of the famous photo saying that the only ass Obama was looking at, was Joe Biden. (It seems there’s still much hesitation to use Obama as the actual victim in the jokes.)

Angriest White Man: Again David Letterman who’s still griping about having to apologize to Sarah Palin. On two separate nights he wondered aloud whether it was his joke that might have caused her to resign.

The Most Interesting Interview: Bob Newhart on Conan. He’s been at it for almost 50 years now, and is still able to do panel. He had some great stories about the old “Tonight Show” that really made me long for Golden Age of Late Night, back before it got so personal.

The Pelosi video never made the mainstream press, but it did make YouTube. Today, the Internet is a great place for comedians to find set ups. The Christian Bale video was such a hit on TMZ that six out of seven Late Night shows used it for jokes last night (Ferguson abstaining), as was the story of Sheyla Hershey, the woman with the 38KK breasts (Ferguson, Letterman, Conan and Leno all bagged this one). Letterman was so smitten with those pumpkins he used them as an excuse to tell another George Bush joke (Texas now has the world’s three biggest boobs).

The old ways are dying hard. Colbert went into the vaults, all the way back to 2000, for a Bush/Gore joke. Jon Stewart did a Bush joke, as well. Ferguson set a record for Day 15; going way last century with a Bill Clinton joke (Clinton will lead the investigation into the accidental showing of porn during the Super Bowl). Stewart and Leno did Joe the Plumber jokes, Letterman did a couple Dick Cheney jokes and a Sarah Palin joke. 

The tax situation has been a godsend to Late Night writers. Now they can make fun of the administration without having to actually go after Him. Six out of seven hosts (Kimmel abstaining) found humor in the tax problems of Obama appointments. The funniest was Conan, who suggested the stimulus package could be cut by $50 billion if Obama’s cabinet just paid their taxes.

Also, Joe Biden is shaping up to be a favorable target for the Late Nights. Jon Stewart dropped a line (“How can Obama be any more embarrassed over his appointments? He picked Joe Biden as the Vice President!”), and Craig Ferguson did an extended interview with a Joe Biden impersonator who couldn’t help but make politically incorrect remarks, one of which was a joke about the size of the President’s ears. This was one of the few jokes made about the President that night.

Kimmel did a sight gag about Obama trying to quit smoking (and failing miserably). The boldest attempt at an Obama joke was Letterman’s “A Day in the Life of Obama,” a formula bit, where he breaks down the President’s day, hour by hour:  ”1 PM: Smokes in bed. 2 PM: spends forty -five minutes, just being cool. Man that guy is cool. He’s the new Steve McQueen!” The strangest part of Letterman’s take on the President’s day was “11:30 PM: Checks out Late Show’s lame piece: ‘A Day in the Life of Obama,’ and concludes comedians still can’t write a decent joke about him.” I congratulate the writers for at least acknowledging their deficiencies.

So what about the Pelosi video, the one that originally forced me to sit through six hours of Late Night “entertainment?” Leno’s was the only show that noticed it. He said it was obvious that someone must have shot the Botox a little too deep. Congrats Jay, you get the star.