Why it’s a left-wing film

Maybe my eternal affection for director Robert Altman’s brilliantly irreverent comedy clouds my judgment, but I don’t want to be too hard on “MASH.” Yes, it uses Korea as pretty weak cover to deliver a withering anti-war criticism of Vietnam and the military, and in the person of The Mighty Robert Duvall’s Frank Burns, the attack on Christianity does, at times, border on mean-spirited (Burns is a cold, manipulative, ambitious, backstabbing, unbalanced hypocrite and the Catholic Father Mulcahy is bumbling and absolutely useless), but man this movie’s fun…

…And funny.

And brilliant.

And refreshingly politically incorrect.

But now we’re getting into…

Why it’s a great film

One of the very first jokes in “MASH” perfectly sets the tone for what’s to come. After a quick sequence at the 4077th and a subtle jibe at Gen. Douglas MacArthur, Capt. Hawkeye Pierce arrives in the person of Donald Sutherland. He’s fresh off a plane from the States and needs a ride to report for duty. While waiting by a jeep, Hawkeye barely gets a word out before a Black enlisted man from the motor pool dresses him down under the assumption he’s going to get pushy about demanding the ride right away. Hawkeye had no intention of getting pushy, barely gets a word out, and after the jerk walks off, Hawkeye mutters under his breath, “Racist.”

Remember when liberals could be funny? If nothing else, “MASH” is a reminder that politics haven’t destroyed the Left’s ability to entertain or be creative or even charismatic, self-seriousness, bitterness, political correctness and multiculturalism have. What you have in “MASH” is an over-arching anti-military, anti-war, anti-religious theme, but within this leftist message you also have a ribald and truly irreverent comedy that refuses to recognize sacred cows. There’s also nothing preachy or even close to heavy-handed. To the contrary, there’s a contagious spirit of joy, playfulness and, at times, humanity.

Today, “MASH” and especially the characters of Hawkeye, Trapper John (the great Elliott Gould), and Duke (a very funny and charming Tom Skerritt)  would be denounced as sexists and likely redrawn completely in 1984-ish production meetings. And you can bet the subplot involving all the comedic machinations that go on to cure “Painless” the dentist of his homosexuality would never survive in this tender and totalitarian day and age. The entire storyline would either be removed altogether or Painless would have to learn to embrace the awesomeness of his gayness.(He’s not really gay, he just fears he is and decides to commit suicide.)

In other words, the movie would look a lot like the last few unwatchably sanctimonious seasons of the television show based on it did.

The script by Ring Lardner Jr., which won an Oscar, is uniquely outstanding. Or, if the legend is true, the ad-libbing Altman encouraged that so infuriated a screenwriter still happy to accept the Oscar, is uniquely outstanding. Either way, the director picking up where Howard Hawks left off in choreographing actors’ dialogue to overlap in ways where we only hear the details we need to, adds a subtle dimension to a comedy I’ve never seen work so well before. Because you feel like you’re overhearing what’s being said, it’s actually funnier than if you had the actors working to hit the punchline. Another legend surrounding the production is that the director’s insistence that the actors work this way so confused and worried them they wanted Altman fired.

What’s especially ingratiating about “MASH” is that it’s sure enough of itself to end like some old-fashioned 1940s comedy, with a slapstick football game worthy of Abbott and Costello or the Marx Brothers. Suddenly the 4077th, including Hotlips (a perfectly cast Sally Kellerman), has come together as a real unit and now they’re the typical underdogs in a pretty typical (though hilariously profane) underdog comedy. Which brings me to the real triumph of the film. Using a plotless script, Altman displays an uncanny ability to keep the story from feeling episodic and just as impressively, the story’s tone keeps switching without us ever noticing as the narrative smoothly runs the gamut from classic slapstick to sex comedy to tragedy and finally, moving sentiment.

Cards on the table, I’m not an Altman fan. I find most of his films stiff and all that “naturalness” rather stagy. Actors loved and built the director up because he let them do pretty much whatever they wanted. But with rare exceptions, that wasn’t a good thing. “MASH,” however, is the director’s one-of-a-kind gem and it’s probably not a coincidence that this was a rare instance where Altman drove his actors and his vision in ways that nearly cost him his job. The director also deserves credit for effortlessly blending comedy and a serious message without ever diminishing or appearing to exploit the horrors of war. Altman flew over 50 bombing missions during WWII and you can sense the care he took in how the operating room scenes and wounded were portrayed.

“MASH” mocks a number of institutions I hold dear, and yet never stoops to insult. There’s never a moment where you feel the story is manipulating events in order to make a bigger point. Instead, it’s more like the camera is just looking around, finding the absurd, and recording it. The splendid result is that for two hours you feel like you’re hanging out with buddies, drinking too much, talking shit, eyeing the girls, and best of all, laughing at yourself.

And aren’t those are the best times of all?

Here’s the Top 25 countdown thus far.

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Set in the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital somewhere near the stagnant Korean War front lines, the plot ambles along following several zany yet competent doctors “Hawkeye” Pierce (Donald Sutherland), “Trapper” John McIntyre (Elliott Gould) and “Duke” Forest (Tom Skerritt) as they try to adapt their markedly undisciplined lifestyles to the rigid protocols of the US military—saving lives along the way.

Featuring notable performances by Robert Duvall as the bumbling and overly-sanctimonious Frank Burns and Sally Kellerman as a career military nurse “Hot Lips” O’Houlihan who cannot get out of the way of her own sexuality, this dark comedy is as good as it gets in the genre of biting satire.

The hilarious antics and memorable characters including “Spearchucker” Jones (called so because he, ahem, used to throw the javelin), Father Francis “Dago Red” Mulcahy, “Painless Pole” Waldowski (the “best equipped” dentist in the army) and Cpl. “Radar” O’Reilly prompted the creation of the hit TV series two years later.  But unlike the often preachy, sometimes over-the-top self-righteous décor of the TV show, M*A*S*H the movie is much more subtle and thus effective in its social commentary. 

Most important, it’s darned funny.

I ask this because in “Two Lovers,” which hit nationwide release this week, Joaquin Phoenix plays a Jewish guy whose parents want him to date (and marry) the beautiful Jewish daughter (Vinessa Shaw), of the couple who are buying their business.  But, instead, he prefers the hot blonde gentile woman (played by the half-Jewish Gwyneth Paltrow) who doesn’t want him.  The Jewish woman as the safe, not-as-sexy-or-hot choice is nothing new in Hollywood.  We’ve seen it in sooo many TV shows and flicks, like the 1972 incarnation of “The Heartbreak Kid” in which Elliott Gould Charles Grodin dumps the homely Jewish stereotype-ette for the hot (at that time) Cybill Shepherd.

Read my review of “Two Lovers” and note that this stereotype can also work if you reverse the roles of each sex.  For example, in the far superior and much warmer “Crossing Delancey” (1988), Amy Irving (who was not Jewish, but reportedly converted to marry Steven Spielberg) plays a Jewish woman who was in love with the male version of the Gwyneth Paltrow character, an author who didn’t really love her back.  At the urging of her grandmother, she dates (and falls in love with) the more nebbishe/geeky Peter Riegert.

“Delancey” was 21 years ago and I thought we’d advanced.  But apparently, the same Jewish liberals who are embarrassed about the first of those two adjectives are still running the show.  They just don’t like themselves any more.  Plus, they’re still trying to get away from their mothers, apparently.

There are plenty of beautiful Jewish women (some even blonde) in Hollywood, including my cousin, actress Amelia Kingston (real name: Shannon Schlussel).  Sad that Hollywood still wants you to think they’re the ugly, annoying caricatures in the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

More sad that the ones doing the caricaturing are neither Muslims nor Nazis, but my own fellow co-religionists.

Note: This post has been updated. Both Vinessa Shaw and Joaquin Phoenix were incorrectly identified as not being Jewish. We regret the error and thank the readers who pointed this out.