If there’s one thing I learned in life, it’s that when a despicable character actually shares your opinion, it might be time to reevaluate said opinion.

Case in point: Fidel Castro’s recent analysis of the midterm elections. In an essay published by the state-run paper Granma (which I always thought carried stories about ribbon candy, shawls, and Triscuits), he announced that the Democrats’ debacle was the consequences of racism. He spouts: “The most reactionary sectors in the United States are sharpening their teeth,” and then warns that “all power (will fall) to the extreme right in the United States.”

Mind you, this is the exact same opinion held by everyone at MSNBC, the batwing-haired boob Graydon Carter, and anyone else who thought “Fair Game” was an accurate portrayal of two self-promoting tossbags. Anyway, for all you folks who still think tea partiers are racist (despite electing two black men to Congress), please reconsider this view, now that a third-rate commie dictator agrees with you.

I mean, this tool has been wrong on everything, while desperately clinging to power and atrocious facial hair. It should make you think that racial politics is old hat – when that diapered chucklehead is wearing it.

Look, I always change my views after hearing from my enemies. When Islamic extremists condemn homosexuality as an abomination, it causes me to embrace gay people even more. And when some nutbag emails me to say that radio signals in his fillings are telling him I look awesome in purple sweaters – I know it’s time to stop wearing purple sweaters. (more…)

Q. How many young Iranian voters does it take to oust Ahmadinejad?

A. More than they have, apparently!

Remember student council elections in high school? You took it so seriously… As if you just elected the right person you’d get rock music over the PA in the morning and no final exams. When I look at things like the beauty contest election in Iran for President, an office with about the same amount of power as class president, I wonder how afraid the puppeteers on the council of twelve high muckity-mucks must be that they won’t allow someone who they had to approve to run for office actually win.

In a statement the Guardian Council said they might be willing to have a limited recount of some ballot boxes. Remind you of anything? That is exactly what the Al Goristas wanted to do in Florida a few years back. Fortunately for us (you too, Progressives), we let the lawyers handle it while we had a cookout and a few beers and when it was over we traded snide comments rather than bullets in the streets. (more…)

Here in the frigid, overtaxed state of Minnesota, we know one thing about Al Franken… he’s persistent. I’d even venture to say he won’t be waiting for The One to finish out his term and run for a second as President. Franken will go for the gold in 2012. Even if Obama manages to get the Democratic votes for the nomination the next go ‘round, Al’s going to take it anyway. And if you don’t believe me, just look at his history.

Al Franken persisted as a comedian for decades. Hell, they still refer to him as a “comedian” in the papers. He spent years writing, performing and radio-show hosting as a comedian. The guy managed to do this despite the handicap of a complete and total lack of comedic ability (and, for the record, ideology doesn’t trump comedy for me… I’m a huge Carlin fan and cite Kevin Smith as my reason for giving this business a go). Franken’s career has led me to imagine a skinny, 90lb kid with asthma who wants to be a linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers. He has no skill, no size, no talent. But he makes it  – and though he’s never made a tackle, he is widely credited as one of the NFL’s all-time greats. A hero!  But Franken is a hack. (more…)