What if Fox’s ‘Cops’ showcased not just shirtless thugs but Mexican drug runners making lives miserable for folks who live along the U.S.-Mexican border?

‘Bordertown: Laredo,’ a 10-episode series, debuting at 10 p.m. EST Oct. 13 on A&E, does exactly that. But the show isn’t as explosive, or topical, as one might expect. It really is another variation on ‘Cops,’ one with a politically correct cast and a dearth of badly needed context.

The reality series follows five Mexican-Americans working for the Laredo P.D. Narcotics Unit. They know they’re outgunned and outmanned, and even on days when they capture a tractor trailer full of dope there’s always another convoy a few miles behind it.

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Washington Times:

Jeremy Jackson auditioned for the lead role in the “Conan the Barbarian” remake, which opened Friday. But the part went instead to hulking “Game of Thrones” actor Jason Momoa.

“They told me I was neither big enough nor buff enough,” Mr. Jackson said.

He wasn’t about to let that happen again.

Jeremy Jackson

“I was thinking of becoming an action star,” said the 30-year-old actor best known for playing David Hasselhoff’s teenage son on the television show “Baywatch.” “I saw maximizing my hormonal levels as something that would facilitate my business.”

Mr. Jackson’s capital investment in his physical equipment came to include the abuse of testosterone, human growth hormone, insulin (he is not diabetic) — even a drug normally reserved for pre-slaughter cattle. His bulk-building melange of illegal steroids was enough to add 40 pounds to his 5-foot-10-inch, 170-pound frame — and ultimately landed him on the series “Celebrity Rehab.”

Chris Evans as Captain America gained a reported 20 pounds of muscle for his superhero role. (Paramount Pictures via Associated Press)Performance-enhancing drugs: They’re not just for jocks anymore.

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AP:

A West Virginia judge has ordered Andy Dick to stand trial on [first degree sexual assualt] charges stemming from a nightclub incident last year.

Judge Paul Farrell set trial for Jan. 17 and ordered Dick to submit to a urine test. Farrell told him if he returns to court under the influence of drugs he will be jailed.

Dick told the judge he’s sober.

The entertainer is accused of grabbing a bouncer’s crotch and groping and kissing a male patron at a Huntington bar. He was in town for a performance.

More here. And here.

From the Associated Press:

A representative for Whitney Houston said Monday that the singer had voluntarily entered rehab and is undergoing treatment. Houston is in an out-patient program for drug and alcohol treatment.

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It seems hard to remember now that there was a time when the American counterculture embraced J.R.R. Tolkien and his masterpiece. Groovy dudes in pipe-weed jerkins yelling “Go Go Gandalf,” walls covered with graffiti proclaiming “Frodo Lives!”, and election-year “Gandalf for President” buttons were all popular sights on college campuses from Harvard to Berkeley.

The author himself was properly repulsed by the hippie movement (and indeed, by what he saw as the entire slovenly depths of American culture in general), and late in life began referring to their nightmare world of antiwar riots and hedonism as “this Fallen Kingdom of Arda, where the servants of Morgoth are worshipped.” But it was not only our side of the pond that gave him grief: he watched aghast as his work became so superficially popular and grossly misunderstood among the hip and the mod in Great Britain that the Beatles expressed a desire to star in a film version of The Lord of the Rings, complete with Stanley Kubrick directing!

It was Gandalf himself who warned Saruman that, “He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.” But that little nugget of common sense, and virtually everything else that made the book special, was passed over by those who were trying to snort, smoke, and screw their way out from under the thumb of The Man and Western Civ. Tolkien considered the free-love drug mob and its associated subgroups “cults of faineance and filth” that mindlessly smashed everything Old and Noble and Sacred while simultaneously embracing everything New, Hip, and Easygoing, all in a foolish, futile attempt to deconstruct and experiment their way to an earthly Utopia. Unlike so many from that crazed era, the man who decades earlier had laboriously penned Frodo’s arduous journey to Mount Doom knew better than to grant hippie pipe-dreams intellectual or spiritual credence.

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From The Macho Response:

[Sheen's] nothing-can-take-me-down attitude, in the face of this wimpy, middle class, wet rag nanny state finger-wagging opinion is winning. This is a man, owning his actions and insisting everyone else come clean and take responsibility for theirs as well. (Our favorite line? Interviewer: “One of the women said she was afraid she might O.D.”. Sheen [incredulous]: “What’s that got to do with me?”) …

We’ve become a cautious, conformist, inoffensive, non-risk taking, arrogant, lying bunch of NewAge p[**]sies who think if any woman, like this interviewer, says she or others don’t approve, then some form of public contrition and apology is called for. Well, screw that. Neither she, or the public, are Charlie Sheen’s mother and even if his parents disapprove, he’s a grown-assed man who refuses to be a part of whatever milquetoast existence the rest of you think is good for gaining social approval from a worthless feminized culture-killing clique. He didn’t ask for it, doesn’t need it, and isn’t angling for it. He’s a man. He’s rich. And he’s free.

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Via Lisa de Moraes at WaPo, who oddly buried Palin’s quotes at the bottom of a long article under a headline that made no mention that she had responded. Well, that’s why God invented Matt Drudge; to teach us that the MSM usually buries the real story at the bottom of their left-wing messaging. Here’s Governor Palin:

“So a left-wing Hollywood producer thinks there is no ‘distinction’ between harvesting healthy, wild organic protein to feed my family and engaging in dog fighting?” Palin wrote in an e-mail to the Associated Press. “I didn’t know anyone ate dogs, tanned the hides, and made boots out of them.”

TLC also responded to Sorkin’s misogynist smears about Palin’s hair and makeup::

We contacted TLC (Tiny Little Cupcakes?) to ask if anyone at the network had something to say about Sorkin’s blog post.

“There was no hair and makeup” trailer when shooting the Sarah shoots a caribou episode, a rep for TLC (Too Little Class?) told the TV Column. In fact, the rep said, neither the network nor show producer Mark Burnett hired hair and makeup for Palin during the making of this series. There is one scene in which Palin is seen getting hair and makeup done for a photo shoot while on a book tour, but those services were provided by the book-tour organizer, said the rep, who declined to comment on any other aspect of Sorkin’s blog post.

As I said before, Sorkin’s nothing more than a cultural bigot. He mocks, ridicules, and demeans cultures he doesn’t understand. No different than a bigoted redneck at the Apollo in Harlem. He’s also obviously threatened by Palin’s rugged individualism, toughness, and utter indifference when it comes to wanting Sorkin’s approval or the approval of anyone like him. In other words, she makes him feel inadequate and so words on a HuffPo are his own personal Viagara.

“If your hate lasts more then four hours, please seek psychotherapy…”  (more…)

***UPDATE 5:44pm: This post was edited for clartity.

The first thing I noticed about Aaron Sorkin’s hilariously bitter and angry HuffPo article aimed at Sarah Palin (but you knew that when I said “bitter” and “angry” ) is that in his profile photo Sorkin’s not wearing those asshole glasses he’s so famous for. How could he see the birdie? Another first is that for once Sorkin didn’t pull his usual schtick of reaching back to his ancestors to prop up his own personal bona fides, as though Grandpa Joe’s military service somehow makes this reformed (so he says) drug-addict some sort of super-patriot. However, we must admit that the removal of the glasses combined with the end of those rhetorical feasts on the corpses of his betters were both excellent choices — and we here at Big Hollywood applaud him. And so on to the business at hand…

What is it about Sarah Palin that so gets under Sorkin’s skin? Or is the cultural bigot so desperate for this year’s Best Screenplay award that his first mercenary impulse is to further ingratiate himself with the Hollywood elite by cruelly and publicly lashing out at this mother of five — and in turn all hunters and most of the Middle Americans who know and love them. 

Here’s how Mr. West Wing begins, by quoting a Sarah Palin tweet:

“Unless you’ve never worn leather shoes, sat upon a leather chair or eaten meat, save your condemnation.”

You’re right, Sarah, we’ll all just go fuck ourselves now.

A wiser man would’ve stopped there, but Sorkin is not a wise man nor is he a good man nor is he a thinking man. Instead, he goes on to admit he enjoys leather shoes and the taste of meat and the starflowers that pop off in his head as the cocaine hits the pleasure senses of his brain (that last part’s my own interpretation of the subtext), but…

What he hates is that Sarah Palin (and most every other hunter in the world) dares to enjoy the hunt.

I’m able to make a distinction between you and me without feeling the least bit hypocritical. I don’t watch snuff films and you make them. You weren’t killing that animal for food or shelter or even fashion, you were killing it for fun. You enjoy killing animals. I can make the distinction between the two of us but I’ve tried and tried and for the life of me, I can’t make a distinction between what you get paid to do and what Michael Vick went to prison for doing. I’m able to make the distinction with no pangs of hypocrisy even though…

Money quote alert…! (more…)

I once suggested to Big Hollywood editor John Nolte that to draw a tidal wave of comments we needed to somehow figure out a piece where I simultaneously attack birthers, praise Sarah Palin, and raise issues involving Star Trek.  Now, I guess I’d have to somehow work in drug legalization, too. 

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The tsunami hit in the wake of my recent column on Sting, Soros and their pro-drug partnership, which both cast doubt on the sacred truths of the very vocal drug legalization fans and defied George Soros.  Accordingly, I had to be stopped.  What happened next tells us much about the tactics, techniques and procedures we will come up against fighting for our culture – and how we can fight back.

The counter-attack came first came in the form of over 400 angry comments from drug legalizers (oh, sorry – “decrimminalizers”) and bong-fueled Twitter tweets from hemp-focused lay-abouts.  Next came columns by Huffington Post nonentities and other dope-o-centric fellow travelers.  Topping it off came at least one semi-veiled threat.  (more…)

Seeing that George Soros and Sting are working together to “end the drug war” puts me in mind of a story an Army buddy who works in the DEA told me about busting in the door of a drug house only to find three occupants – the oldest four years old, having been left in charge while his “parents” went out to score meth.  Yeah, drug use is a victimless crime – if you ignore the victims.

Apparently not content to subsidize the whining of the nonentities at Media Matters, Soros is taking a break from his adventures in currency manipulation and general scuzziness to enlist entertainment celebrities like Sting in his newest quest.  The Drug Policy Alliance is the result, a group whose members, as its founder puts it, “come from across the drug use spectrum.”  Yes, the junkies, stoners, hopheads, dope fiends, pill-poppers, and Lindsay Lohan are unanimous:  Drug laws are bad, and it’s probably BusHitler’s fault.

The threshold problem with comments by Sting such as, “The war on drugs represents an extraordinary violation of human rights,” is that Sting presumably not only believes this piffle, but further believes that he can put down his bass and offer meaningful input into the discussion.  This assumption of competence is a common delusion among celebrities, and here it has more potential for damage than most mindless celebribabble.

Now, Sting is not alone – no one in that clip says anything worthwhile.  One woman, who is bald for no apparent reason, states that “The War on Drugs is a war on people of color,” as if Americans decided they would outlaw crack because they fear that black people might enjoy themselves.  Montel Williams shows up to explain that drug laws prevent him from making choices about his own body, but the awful tie and ridiculous earring he chose to wear make a powerful argument against allowing him to make any kind of choices at all. (more…)

Michael Jackson was the epitome of a human Rorschach test. To his fans, he was a Messiah of entertainment, seemingly able to transcend the mere mortal abilities of nearly anyone in the history of show business. To his detractors, he was an eccentric who was also repeatedly accused of molesting children. To yet others, he was both. 

When he died of an apparent drug overdose just shy of his 50th birthday on June 25, while rehearsing for an intense 50-show engagement in London, it seemed that this conundrum would never be solved and that his life and legacy would be forever shadowed. Then word emerged that concert promoter AEG had decided to sell extensive footage it shot of the show’s rehearsals and put it up for bidding war, which Sony Pictures won for $60 million. Debate raged throughout Hollywood and the business world about whether this was an appropriate outcome, or if it reeked of exploitation.  (more…)

Just when it looks like Roman Polanski has re-set the bar for personal behavior so low that it’s practically subterranean, the late John Phillips comes along and somehow finds a way to slink underneath it.  Maybe.  Maybe, because his accuser is his own daughter Mackenzie Phillips, a drug addict since the mid-70s who is currently peddling her sordid tale of incest, heroin and general dysfunction to anyone with a lens and a microphone.

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Perhaps this junkie, who by her own admission had a decade-long affair with her own father starting at age 19, is not the most reliable witness.  On the other hand, considering the Hollywood community’s frantic defense of noted pedophile Polanski, it’s not too difficult to imagine how Mackenzie and her rock star father might have figured, “Well, we’re here, we’re high, we’re horny.  What’s some shared DNA between stars?”

I blame Oprah. (more…)

I’ve got to admit that I set out to create this video expecting the finished product to be nothing more than tomfoolery as per usual. When I sat down to review the final version however, I realized just how sad/scary this is. These people are our future. They’ll be building our airplanes, teaching in our schools and possibly… running our country. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t trust 90% of these kids with a pair of scissors.  All of this begs the question: how did they get into Berkeley?  More importantly, what the heck are they teaching over there?

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I watched Whitney Houston’s interview on Oprah and I did not have to wait until it was over to feel great sadness. Whitney burst out in to the scene with her first album when she was 22 years old, with a powerful singing voice like no other — intense, energetic and the ability to hit a gamut of notes. Unlike Michael Jackson, she was not thrust on to the stage by an overbearing father or competing for the spotlight with her siblings. She was raised a Baptist and had a very deep spirituality that she always mentioned whether she was receiving a Grammy or in a magazine interview.  So how did this woman who was esthetically flawless and had it all, wind up sitting on the couch smoking marijuana laced with cocaine for days on end.

I believe it was a few reasons. Firstly, she married the wrong man, Bobby Brown, we all knew that—yes, all of us who did not know her personally knew that he was trouble. He spoke like trouble, he acted like trouble and he got in trouble. They started their marriage with him already having three kids from two different women he wasn’t married to and had been known for his outrageous behavior. She stated that she took her vows very seriously, she truly loved him and he allowed her to bring out her fun and crazy side. I do believe she took her vows very seriously and truly loved him, this woman could have had any man on the planet, but the fun and crazy side I’m a little unclear on, bringing up my second point.   (more…)

There is no doubt the State of Ohio, like many others, is in a financial mess. If you looked at the history of our economy you would notice that there have always been ups and downs. Individuals seem to understand this and plan for times of lean and times of plenty. Governments and our elected officials seem to have missed that day in Economics 101. Governments always seem to be shocked when the economy goes south for a while.

Our Governor Tom Strickland has a plan to balance the Ohio budget. Here it is in a nutshell: “Let’s gamble our way to prosperity!” As a comic my natural instinct is to ridicule this idea and to highlight the fact the Governor is ignoring that four times in the last twenty years the voters, by a wide margin, have refused casino gambling. (more…)

The vast majority of adults in this world know that moral perfection is absolutely impossible, so I get upset when self proclaimed Hollywood/MSM liberals ruthlessly attack any conservative that cannot do the impossible; avoid succumbing to temptation for their entire life. Hollywood/MSM liberals always use this angle to attack conservatives nationwide because by strongly believing in nothing specific they’ve set themselves up to perpetually come out on top of any moral argument, guilt, worry and public-scorn free.

In today’s Hollywood a famous liberal filmmaker could hire a hooker while shooting a $100,000,000 studio feature film, secretly charge it to the budget, snort coke in his trailer between shots and drop E at night without any real concern for condemnation or job loss if he’s caught, because, well, he never proclaimed to be on the side of good in the first place. Whereas a famous conservative Christian filmmaker (pretend with me here) caught doing the same thing would be ridiculed and kicked out of town for the hypocrisy of it all since, by being Christian, he openly admitted that kind of behavior is not the most desirable for himself and doesn’t set a very good example for the fans. (more…)

Today, Grammy-winning rapper T.I. (Total Imbecile? Thug Idiot?) was sentenced to 18 months behind bars for illegally owning machine guns and silencers.  In the aftermath of his arrest, prosecutors informed T.I. that he could serve two decades in prison; he quickly agreed to 1000 hours of community service, touring around the U.S. talking to teens about the problems with drugs and gangs.  MTV made a show about him called “T.I.’s Road to Redemption.”  This from a guy who dealt drugs as a teen and got busted for coke in 1998. 

Here’s the thing: no matter how many hours of community service T.I. does, it will never make up for the crap he puts into the minds of his listeners.  His biggest hit is “Whatever You Like.”  Here’s a sample lyric “Whatever You Like”: Late night sex so wet you’re so tight …Let me put this big boy in yo life / The thang get so wet, it hit so right.  (more…)