DIXIE CHICKS’ VH1 STORYTELLERS AVAILABLE NOVEMBER 29

What are Dixie Chicks again?

All I seem to remember are three mouthy narcissists who were so desperate for attention they posed nude on the cover of Entertainment Weekly and then had a flop documentary made about them that portrayed the pampered multi-millionaires as victims of their own wildly stupid use of free speech.

Those Dixie Chicks?

Can I get a “whoa whatever”?

BREAKING: ZACHARY QUINTO IS STILL GAY

We have now entered day two of Zachary Quinto being gay. Rumor has it, he will still be gay tomorrow and possibly through the end of the week. Obviously this means that everything he does is more important than it was last week and it is now our duty to ooh and ahh over the profundity of everything He Who Is Above Using Capital Letters says.

Such an inspiration.

And why didn’t someone tell me that being gay suddenly makes everything you do so precious and important–you know, when there was still time for that information to do me some good?

HERESY: ‘TWILIGHT’ STARS JOIN IMMORTALS AT GRAUMAN’S CHINESE THEATRE

“Bloody Disgusting” has this exactly right. Over 80-plus years only around 250 recipients have been honored with immortality at Grauman’s and to have these three–who have done nothing other than star in a popular franchise–join is like having some one-hit wonder enter the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame.

I love movies but, man alive, do I hate pop culture.

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I’ve said before that liberals love to lose — be it elections or Oscars –because it “proves” they are enlightened victims living among the great unwashed.

They never come right out and say they love to lose. Instead, when their movie of choice loses the Oscar to “Crash,” they say things like, “Hollywood’s homophobia could be on par with Pat Robertson’s.” The case of “Crash” versus “Brokeback Mountain” turned into an absolutely hilarious pissing match that saw liberals clamoring to stake their claim to being at least as liberal as the next whiny liberal.

About the only thing liberals love more than losing is claiming they’ve been victims of — gasp! — censorship! If I seem like I’m making light of — gasp! — censorship! it’s because, well, I am.

In the vast majority of cases of — gasp! — censorship! there has in fact been no censorship.

Take Harvey Weinstein’s latest claim.  The Hollywood Reporter reports that ABC asked for three cuts to the trailer for “Our Idiot Brother,” on the basis that three shots violated its “long established ad-guidelines.” Where you and I might see an entity exercising its right to purchase and air WHATEVER THE HELL THEY CHOOSE TO PURCHASE AND AIR, Harvey sees an opportunity to reassert himself as the undisputed champion of hemming and hawing about so called censorship. The Weinstein Company quickly cut together a new red band trailer, which Harvey knew would be useless without a press release that made him look like a victim. Putting on a happy face, Harvey proclaimed, ““We’d like to dedicate our new red band trailer for Our Idiot Brother to censorship everywhere. Enjoy!”

Is this censorship? No really. I’m asking: Is. This. Censorship?

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There are a lot of things in music that don’t make sense.  The popularity of Justin Bieber is one of them.  Why this carbon based Muppet is currently a media sensation is a good example of things in the music industry that just don’t add up.  Another inexplicably silly part of the current music culture comes from the “Area 51” section of today’s Pop scene.  It is the persistent speculation about what gender Lady Gaga really is.  The absurd question about whether or not the oversexed diva is actually a teamster named Larry has a number of gullible people scratching their heads.  Some of them, a good bit lower than that.  Personally, I wonder how The Who can still sing the line “Hope I Die Before I Get Old” with a straight face.  While all these are interesting in an “Access Hollywood”/”Jerry Springer” sort of way, there are some questions of substance out there in the music world.  One thing that doesn’t make sense is how the country trio, SheDaisy, is sitting out there in Nashville without a recording deal.

For those who are unfamiliar with this band, it is comprised of three sisters from Utah: Kristyn, Kelsi, and Kassidy Osborn.  Originally they were brought to Nashville by CBS records as the band The Osborn Sisters.  While the name was possibly structured in that manner to evoke such acts as the Andrews Sisters, the moniker didn’t stick.  They presumably got sick of questions about whether or not they would be biting the heads off of bats during their live shows, or how it was working with the late Randy Rhodes, so they changed their name to SheDaisy.  If She-Myth is to be believed, the word is Navajo for “my little sister.”  My Navajo is about as good as my German, so somebody could tell me the name means “hold the pickles” and I would have to give them the benefit of the doubt. (more…)

I did two things Sunday night I usually don’t do: I tuned into CBS and watched an awards program. They were actually the same thing, as I watched the CMA Awards on CBS. While I was told repeatedly the CMAs are a country music awards show, my question is, “Where were the country folks?”

Where was the modern Loretta Lynn? You know, a simple country girl who just loves to sing walking the stage in a homemade dress and an out-of-date hairstyle. Where were George Jones and Dolly Parton? Where were Willie, Hank Jr., and Merle? Why are the Country Music Awards being held in Las Vegas and not Nashville, Austin, or Branson? The problem is that in country music today, the last thing you want to be is “country.” It used to be “I was country when country wasn’t cool.”  But now, to paraphrase the great Mr. Jones, if you are country, that isn’t cool. (more…)

On television, how often do you see the Heartland, the South, or innocence portrayed as positive, or as the innocent victim of thuggery or artistic elitism gone awry? If I told you that it happened over the weekend, would you have guessed that MTV was the network that aired it?

As it turns out, Joe Wilson isn’t the only inappropriate interrupter of the last week. If you haven’t seen Kanye West’s shocking-only-to-people-who-have-never-seen-or-heard-Kanye-West-perform-or-say-words outburst at the normally classy and restrained MTV Video Music Awards, take 90 seconds and watch the train wreck. I don’t want to say it was awkward, but I haven’t seen a performer arouse that many embarrassed faces since…well, since Kanye West did the exact same thing at the European VMAs in 2007, which at the time was the most awkward TV moment since Kanye West hijacked a Katrina charity TV show to rant that “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” (more…)

I suspect that because George Bush and Condoleezza Rice were so respectful of Muslims, constantly telling us that theirs is a religion of peace, some otherwise sensible Americans actually began to believe it.  Now we have a president who not only kowtows to a Saudi prince, but carries on as if Israeli homes are more threatening than Iranian nukes.

What is wrong with our leaders?  Are they worried that they won’t be invited to those cool Ramadan parties?  The Islamists have been actively at war with us for 30 years and generally at war with western civilization for well over a thousand years, and still we pay lip service to these people in a way we never did with Nazi Germany, Imperial Japan or the Soviet Union.  Is it because the Muslims commit sadism and murder in the name of religion and not country?  If anything, I would think that would make their evil acts all the more contemptible. (more…)

Back in 2003, actor Tim Robbins gave a famous (infamous?) speech in front of the National Press Club in Washington DC regarding his right to express his negative views about the Iraq War:

“A chill wind is blowing in this nation. A message is being sent through the White House and its allies in talk radio and Clear Channel and Cooperstown. If you oppose this administration, there can and will be ramifications.”

Cry me a river. The irony that he gave his speech at the National Press Club and wasn’t tossed into a gulag afterward obviously didn’t dawn on him. That stage direction must not have been written into the script. (more…)

I’m not one of these guys that say actors, celebrities, talented musicians or The Dixie Chicks should shut up and not chime in on political issues. Trust me, when I become rich and famous this fall, I’m gonna be screaming like Chuck Noland making fire about everything political. So I think it’s great Anne Hathaway’s speaking out. By the way, is it me, or do her eyes follow you around the room when you walk by?

Now imagine Obama’s schedule when he finally becomes president: He’s gotta talk to Hamas, he’s gotta talk to that dude in Iran, he’s got the bench press challenge with Putin…Don’t you love saying that guy’s name? They should hire Ed McMahon to announce him whenever he enters the parliament building: “HEEEEEEERE’S PUTIN!” (And Ed could use the rubles too – it’s a win-win).

Anywhoozer, before any of that happens, Barack Obama MUST have a sit down with Anne Hathaway and, as she said in Palm Springs recently; “Explain that choice of Rick Warren!” That is bold, Ms. Hathaway – but it doesn’t surprise me because this is the same person who dared to fill the pumps of the great Barbara Feldon. Wow! Now there’s a woman! Do I love Barbara Feldon, or what?

I pick up a paper once in a while and I’m reading all the time about the trouble in the Middle East -  and I have the solution: Barbara Feldon. That’s right, if we send 99 over there and get her in between everybody those hostilities will stop faster than payment on a Raffaello Follieri personal check.

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