Take a look-see, for yourself, see.

Yes, the AP headline reads: “NY car bomb suspect cooperates, but motive mystery.”

Yeah it’s only a mystery if you’re in the media, and really stupid. Everyone else pretty much understands why the terrorist left a fuel bomb in an area filled with families.

He hates us. He hate our country, our culture. He wants you dead.

But the media – an entity full of fragile egos and bubble-encased boobs – just can’t see that. In fact, it’s kinda awesome how huge and gaping their blind spot toward radical Islamic fundamentalism is. If only there could be other motives for the mayhem, so they’d never having to place blame on anything (except America, of course).

So I thought I’d help them out, and find motives the media could be comfortable with.

So why did Faisal Shahzad try to blow up Time Square?

-Obviously, Global Warming. The increasing temperature forced him to jog at night, and he found the sunlight oppressive. Plus, it made his beard itch.

-Wall Street greed. Faisal had just seen “Capitalism: A Love Story,” became enraged, but got lost and ended up in the theater district. Better luck next time.

-Bill Ayers never returned his sweatpants after that weekend in Catalina. Sure, it was a great time, but those sweatpants had sentimental value.

-Lenscrafters was completely out of the Rachel Maddow collection. So he had to settle for a David Shuster knockoff.

-The latest incarnation of “The Lion King” was unoriginal and passionless. Worse, it didn’t reflect the damage George Bush did to the world the way “American Idiot” did.

-They’re building a Wal-Mart down the road, and their affordable prices deeply offended his “mom and pop” sensibilities.

-Norman Mailer doesn’t blog nearly as much on the Huffington Post as he used to.

-The electrolysis didn’t work on his pubes.

-The lack of diversity in the workplace is disgusting – well, except for MSNBC. They get a pass because their hearts are in the right place.

-That same sex marriage won’t lead to the option of marrying a goat.

- That George Clooney didn’t find anyone at the end of “Up in the Air.” Although I suppose – he did find himself.

And..

-Those evil tea partiers made of mockery of Islam with their delightful bacon and egg salad sandwiches.

I’ll stop there, because it really is the tea partier’s fault–for they created the climate of hate that only encouraged Shazhad’s actions In fact – I’d say the car bomb was a direct result of the tea partiers, the new Arizona immigration bill, Rush Limbaugh, offshore drilling, and of course, Fox News.

Because all that stuff is evil. Unlike, you know, real evil.

Should be a delightful showcase of intelligent talent on this here show!

We’ve got..

comedian Joe Devito

all around entertainer Steven Crowder!

the delightful and beautiful Brooke Goldstein

and finally, Gail Lebowitz, from Sunset Daze!

Tonight, a delightful show for our third anniversary!

the hilarious Paul Mecurio (the comedian, not the dancer)

the gorgeous Barret Swatek

the brilliant Mary Katherine Ham

and I’m gunna try to track down mom!

The invocation of such hateful, pop-psychoanalyzing epithets is common practice in Shame Cultures (totalitarian ones), as a means of character assassination and destruction, rather than honest democratic engagement with ideological adversaries towards greater understanding. 

Since, in this case, Mr. Shuster seems disinterested in objectively considering the valid cultural and political points made by the film’s critics, he resorts to the shameful rhetorical tactic described above in order to secure his own personal cultural worldview as being truer, or even saner than his fellow disagreeable Americans. 

No surprise there. 

However, this does give us an opportunity to briefly reexamine the phenomenon of the “shame” culture in which Mr. Shuster cares to reside. 

What is a “shame” culture, and how does it differ from its parallel “guilt” culture? 

Dr. Pat Santy provides an expert analysis: 

In a typical shame culture, “The desire to preserve honor and avoid shame to the exclusion of all else is one of the primary foundations of the culture. This desire has the side-effect of giving the individual carte blanche to engage in wrong-doing as long as no-one knows about it, or knows he is involved.” 

Mr. Shuster avoids internalized shame – the shame of being closed-minded to intellectual diversity – by transferring a wrong-doing of  “shameless and crazy” accusations against his cultural/ideological nemeses. To maintain face, he disallows or ridicules any/all voices that might reasonably disagree, and blocks his conscience from both self-doubt and/or self-reflection. 

The exercise then becomes no longer the virtuous seeking of truth (his job?), but rather the deceitful “winning” of an argument, if you can call it that – a selfish pyrrhic victory, at best. 

What he should instead be doing is acting within the logical parameters of the American “guilt” culture, which “is typically and primarily concerned with truth, justice, and the preservation of individual rights.” 

But, individual rights can, in the shame-ridden, be cavalierly discarded when dealing ‘Two Minutes Hate’ against predetermined “shameless and crazy” people (a.k.a., ‘Emmanuel Goldstein’). 

Dr. Santy sums it up: 

“As long as an individual is capable of self-doubt and self-reflection about his behavior; he is able to remain open-minded and willing to search for a better understanding of himself and others. 

Excessive or inappropriate shame is another thing altogether, communicating forcibly to the individual that he or she is worthless. Shame can be an exceedingly devastating and painful experience. 

Guilt is an emotion that rises after a transgression of one’s own or cultural values. Guilt is about actions or behavior; while shame is about the self. There is an important psychological difference in saying to someone that their behavior is bad; as contrasted with saying that they are bad. The former leads to guilt; the latter to shame. 

Eventually for the shame-avoidant person, reality itself must be distorted in order to further protect the self from poor self-esteem. Blaming other individuals or groups for one’s own behavior becomes second nature, and this transfer of blame to someone else is an indicator of internal shame.” 

Mr. Shuster simply fails to address his critics’ valid points directly. He fails to tell us what his own definition of anti-Americanism is, if not American military men at the behest of an American company committing a 9-11 act of atrocity on innocents. 

Shame on you, Mr. Shuster? 

I hope he can do better. 

(Full disclosure: I saw Avatar yesterday and call me “crazy” but I enjoyed most of it very much. Yet I must also honestly agree with the brevity of Dennis Miller’s artful description of it today as an “insipid, visionary film”).

NEA’s Yosi Sergant

Monday, we have the NEA under the microscope.  The Obama Administration was caught red-handed (is that “racist”?) funneling tax payer dollars into an official propaganda department.  I can’t wait to see what the excuse will be this time.

These people have mastered the art of defending the indefensible.

Let’s set aside the stupidity of this move.  Anyone familiar with the NEA knows that it pretty much exists to fund leftist propaganda disguised as art.  Officially coordinating it is a bit redundant.

Let’s also set aside the brazen arrogance.  Despite rejecting and dismissing charges that this administration is attempting to turn the United States into a South American Banana Republic, these folks keep doing things that make Hugo Chavez envious.  State run propaganda through the NEA, silencing critics with the stigma of “racism,” setting up official channels to rat out your neighbors for “thought crimes” with flag@whitehouse.gov, and restructuring our economy with wealth redistribution schemes like socialized medicine and cap and trade are just a few of their moves right from the Trotsky play book.  And they do it all with righteous indignation.  They claim that we students of history are too ignorant, too blinded by our prejudices, to really see what’s going on.

No, let’s focus on the inevitable excuses that will flow from the mouths of the White House spin doctors and the true believers that make up the mainstream media.  If I, from the outside, can predict their next moves, it’s pretty obvious that their excuses aren’t genuine.

They are just another act in this grand play of leftist tomfoolery.

Phase one will be complete silence.  The story won’t be picked up by the state run media.  Crickets.  Crickets.  After about a week of red faced Glenn Beck monologues, daily Rush Limbaugh pontifications (thanks, by the way, for the shout-out last week El Rushbo, the family was very impressed), Sarah Palin facebook posts, and Andrew Breitbart expertly rolling out more information, they will be forced to respond.

Phase two will be what I like to call “The Oz Effect.”  Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.  What’s the big deal, after all?  The President, through the positively Grima Wormtongue-like Robert Gibbs, will “not really be aware of it.”  There are bigger issues after all.  Americans are concerned about the greedy insurance companies and the doctors trying to amputate their feet for some extra scratch, not about what happens at the NEA.  David Shuster, the poor man’s Keith Olbermann, will point out that the people involved have already been reassigned.  Isn’t this just another Republican shot in the dark?  Don’t these people have any real ideas?  Aren’t the conservatives in disarray?  Who is their leader anyway?

Phase three will be the “offense-defense.”  David Frum will talk about the risks that conservatives run by offending artists.  Going after the NEA will just prove that we don’t like creative things.  CNN will air segments featuring inner-city kids finger painting, explaining that the NEA’s $50 million cut of the stimulus money paid for those paints.  You don’t want to take away finger paints. do you?  Evil conservatives.  The President will tout the importance of the arts in our community, the hope and joy it brings to so many.  Sure, there were some bad apples, but they were just cowboys acting without official orders.  We need the NEA.  Just like we need ACORN, socialized medicine, and cap and trade.

Phase four will be justice.  Riding high on the conservative smack down, bills will come forward in the House and Senate to freeze the NEA’s budget or defund it all together.  A few lone whack jobs will vote against it, but it will pass with a fat majority.

Breitbart and company can claim another scalp.  And to quote Aldo Raine, “I want my scalps!”

At no point will any member of the administration step forward and admit that it was wrong, un-American, or dangerous for democracy.  The mainstream media will never pile onto the story and dig deeper.

These lame excuses and political posturings come with a high cost.  Each time we do something like this, and they respond as outlined above, their credibility drops a few points.  Every time this sort of thing happens, another person on the fence looks at the evidence and joins the right team.

There is a reason why conservative blogs are full of charts, facts, figures and quotes from history, while liberal blogs ramble on about conspiracies and charges of racism.  There is a reason why conservatives use their understanding of economics to build companies and empires, while the left has to resort to trickery and emotional arguments to fund their pointless projects.

It’s because we “get it.”  They don’t.  Their edge has always been their stranglehold on the media; but that is slipping away like star systems through Grand Moff Tarkin’s fingers.  Conservatives, being the smart entrepreneurs that we are, created our own parallel media.  We have filled this new media with facts, intelligence and passion.  The response from the opposition has been demagoguery, excuses, and misdirection.  Bad form.  Bad form indeed.

So good luck digging your way out of this one, hippies.  2010 and 2012 can’t come soon enough.  Leftists, you are on notice.  Your orgy of power and stupidity will be brief and soon you will be gone.

Oh, and on your way out, take the mainstream media with you.  You are both useless.

Now, if you`re too old or too high to get what`s going on, here`s the joke: The liberal-leaning media are goofing on the tea parties by invoking the term teabagging, a phrased used to describe an act of oral sex performed by a man – either on another man, woman, or in Alec Baldwin’s case – a cheeseburger.

And so you have Cooper`s joke – it`s just a shame he ripped off the shtick from David Shuster, who apparently has never met a joke he hasn`t beat to death like a hunter on a harp seal. On MSNBC, Shuster repeats testicle-based puns with a fervent relish not unlike an eight-year old boy who just can`t stop sniffing his fingers. And, this, coming from me. I`m mean – I always thought I was the king of obvious jokes, but I relinquish that crown – because the real obvious joke is Shuster.

So why is it the MSM finds it so easy to sneer at a group of protestors, when you`ve never seen them do the same with the bedraggled buffoons protesting environmental ills, animal testing or the WTO?

Well, first: the protests involve people they`ve never actually met. I mean, these are average folks – not professional sign carriers. Most of these people work for a living, and ration their marching for parades. Also, the media abhors these people because they question the ultimate goal of their Messiah. These protestors know wealth distribution when they see it, and they`re calling it out – because the media cannot bring themselves to do it for them. After all, if they did, that would hurt Obama`s feelings. And if you learned anything from high school – you never make fun of Mr. Popular.

Lastly, the media hates it when they can`t control the story. These tea parties were out of their hands from day one-a movement that was hard to figure and impossible to spin. So, why not make fun of it? Why not make ball jokes?

But hey, who am I to judge? Whatever gets you off on a Wednesday night, Anderson, when nothing else will.

Tonight we’ve got Jim Norton, from Buckcherry – Josh Todd, and Steven Crowder! Plus someone special to be named later. (I dare you to write an intro for that one).