Double Dosage!!! Sorry, I got a bit behind on Shhhtuff, so I hope I can do a lil’ catch up with ya! Here’s me lookin’ out for my womens like Sarah Palin, and a vid lookin’ at naughty Nidal after the jump.
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A friend of mine once called it Elvis Disease. Occasionally an individual will become so powerful, that he forgets he is mortal. (It’s what happened to Marlon Brando’s character in “Apocalypse Now.“) Because when a human becomes so important that people confuse him with a god, he might start believing it himself.
When Elvis came out of the dressing room for the first time in that sequined white jumpsuit with elephant bells, high collar, and a matching cape, he asked the people he thought were friends, “Ahh , what d’yall think? Ahh picked it for my Hawaii show…”
But everyone lied, and told him that he looked great. He didn’t really have any friends. Just a handful of people making an incredible amount of money working at Elvis Inc. So nobody stood up to him. When a man gets surrounded by a phalanx of assistants, groomers, managers, agents and other members of the entourage whose job it is to tell him how great he is –these things happen.
Michael Jackson suffered from the same affliction. Nobody had the nerve to tell Michael that he shouldn’t be sleeping with little boys, so it continued. If you remember the Martin Bashir documentary, he was very adamant about his proclivities with those beautiful little boys: “Why can’t you share your bed? That’s the most loving thing to do, to share your bed with someone…” (more…)
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David Letterman has been much in the news lately due to his fondness for the flesh of young female staffers, and the alleged blackmail plot regarding his exploits in that direction. It seems that old Dave is a bit of a lech who — like many powerful and wealthy individuals — uses his high social status to gain access to the sexual organs of women who would not look at him twice were he not so illustrious a figure. And so the furious debate rages in the papers, online and on cable news — will Dave survive the scandal? Will his audience follow him? The mystery for me however is much simpler — how did Letterman ever achieve the status he enjoys today?
Allow me to explain. I’m not from around these parts. I grew up in Scotland, spent a decade in Russia, and arrived in the US three years ago. As something of a night owl I soon found myself confronted with America’s strange, televisual dream-world of nocturnal gibberish, and the even more perplexing national obsession with the personalities, rivalries and ratings battles that played out between the competing purveyors of this gibberish. The big one of course was Leno vs. Letterman, but who could forget the death struggle for comedic dominance between Conan and Craig Ferguson? Then there was the mystery of Jimmy Kimmel, floating around like some moth that had lost sight of the moon, detached from these wars as if no one expected him to succeed anyway. And lurking in the deep, deep darkness was the awful horror that is Carson Daly: charmless, entirely unfunny and visibly drowning in his own misery. (more…)
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Last night, David “I’m No Longer a Brain-Dead Liberal” Mamet’s “Oleanna” opened on Broadway. The production (a transfer from Los Angeles’ Mark Taper Forum) stars Bill Pullman and Julia Stiles. As discussed on these pages Friday, this play was originally produced off-Broadway 18 years ago and is now receiving its first, official Broadway production. “Oleanna” and the upcoming “Race” are two opportunities for Mr. Mamet’s work to be evaluated by the heavily-left-leaning theatre critics.
The play received quite positive reviews. Here are some interesting things I read in the reviews…
In Elysa Gardner’s positive review in USA Today, she refers to the contrasting times in which the play is now produced versus the original production:
When David Mamet’s Oleanna premiered in 1992, it was widely perceived as a response to the confirmation hearings for Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, in which Thomas was accused of sexual harassment by former assistant Anita Hill. It has been 18 years since that real-life drama played out. But as the very different controversy now surrounding David Letterman reminds us, the debate over what constitutes an abuse of power between a male authority figure and a female subordinate isn’t going away. (more…)
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I happened to see some clips of alleged Janeane Garofalo on the Bill Maher show the other night. I have a warning for anyone who sees her in person or is near her: Janeane is off her meds again and the voices in her head have taken control.
She is already on record as believing that anyone who does not worship at the Church of Radical Leftism is a “straight up racist.” Beside not understanding the English translation of her argot “straight up,” I am sure that anyone who is even a little bit clear headed can imagine a world where people who thought Condi was dandy and helped Michael Steele get to the helm of the GOP might not take race as the deciding factor with Obama. Be that as it may, Ms. Garofalo assured us that not only were right-wingers racists, but the GOP has been the bastion of White Supremacy since the 1950’s.
Keeping in mind one of the favorite saying of my friend Larry Elder, “Facts are like kryptonite to toe-tag liberals.” (Mr. Elder defines liberals as “toe-tag” if they believe in government intrusion in our lives from birth until they put the tag on your toe in the morgue.) I will present a few facts to try to bring Janeane back into the real world. (more…)
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I have always been fascinated and frustrated by the phenomenon in our public dialogue that when we get new information after a “debate” is deemed to be over, that the original dispute is never “reopened.”
For instance, when Barack Obama threw Rev. Jeremiah Wright “under the bus” a month after he was praised lustily by the media for not having done so in his famous “race” speech, the history of that event was never rewritten. Similarly, the dramatic positive impact of the surge in Iraq never came close to altering the media’s premature conclusion that the war there was a “disaster,” and the most recent data on the global temperature drop has done next to nothing to change the notion that the debate of global warming is “over.”
In the past week we have seen two classic examples of this quirk in the unwritten rules of media history.
The Obama/Oprah led flameout for Chicago’s hopes to host the 2016 Olympics certainly fits in this category. Much has already been said about the disastrous nature of this development from the economic and political perspectives. However, not nearly enough has been stated about how this event seems to prove that one of the basic foundations of the argument for Obama’s election was a complete lie. (more…)
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Sure, holding it all in might have taken 15 years off of our lives but at least when men were stoic they died with their dignity intact. Watching the once mighty David Letterman confess, apologize and then re-apologize like some narcissistic nobody who suddenly finds Oprah’s attention and camera on him is just another exhibit in the trial of How Far Men Have Fallen.
Compounding his mistake from last week, we got this last night:
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Of course Letterman didn’t think about how the media would hound every female who ever worked with him as he bared his precious soul for ten minutes last week. How could he when he was thinking only of himself? Anyone who spends ten minutes confessing their sexual indiscretions on national television obviously hasn’t yet figured out that everything isn’t all about him. If he had, he would’ve issued a short statement, taken the incoming fire without comment, and quietly and privately begged forgiveness from those he hurt. (more…)
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What a week for Celebucrat video!
Whoopi –rape-rape– Goldberg…
Bette –take Glenn Beck’s free speech away– Midler…
John –race-obsessed, socialist, grievance monger– Leguizamo…
Mad –here’s another reason to love W. – onna…
David –I think this makes me a hypocrite– Letterman
And now: (more…)
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So David Letterman just admitted on his Thursday show that someone had been blackmailing him for $2 million. That someone apparently claimed he had information on the comic doing “creepy things.” Instead of paying up, however, Letterman set him up – and the blackmailer, a CBS producer, was promptly arrested.
Now, a lot of people are laughing at the sweet irony of it all: a comedian who makes millions poking fun at the predilections of politicians gets nailed for a few of his own (I`m dying to know why he won`t dismiss the adjective “creepy;” whatever he was doing must make Marv Albert blush).
But I`m not one of those people. (more…)
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It’s no secret that the good ol’ stars and starlets of tinseltown have no respect for the men and women of our military. Much like our president, however, they’re smart enough to know that they should act as though they do.
It’s exactly why every now and then a Hollywood celebrity will say that they “support our troops but not the war” or that “these men and women shouldn’t be dying in vain.” Is anybody still fooled by those one-liners anymore? Similarly in our president’s case, it’s why he continually says that he supports our troops without giving them so much as a shred of his time. I’m sure that the men and women putting themselves in harms way will understand though. After all, he’s got a meeting with one Mr. David Letterman.
For those who haven’t yet heard, Obama has met with General Stanley McChrystal (the good man in charge of leading our honorable troops to victory in Afghanistan) only once, yes, ONCE in the last seventy days. So it seems apparent that while Obama has no time to devote to the men and women of our armed services (the same people who ultimately make him look good), he has plenty of time to devote to promoting himself.
As Barack Obama devotes more time to personal press than any other president in history (in record time to boot), it’s becoming more and more glaringly apparent… Our president is more Paris Hilton than General Patton. (more…)
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So I guess it’s the schoolyard chivalry I was raised on that taught me you never beat up on the girl. Thus, I have held my tongue in regards to the good First Lady, Michelle Obama. But now it has become too much to bear. And the tipping point: Kale — yes, a leafy green vegetable.
It had to happen, it was inevitable, I suppose. She slid past us with her, “For the first time, I am proud to be an American” proclamation…and we even looked the other way when she and her husband spent hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars on a fun-filled New York City getaway of Broadways shows, dining and shopping. (Sure, they may have used their own personal cash, but I doubt they ponied up out-of-pocket for the myriad of security vehicles, the legion of secret service agents, the bomb-sniffing dogs, etc, etc. (more…)
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Critics love David Letterman. They love him because he’s mean and liberal and does everything they demand: further the leftist agenda through the brutal use of humiliation to target any public figure (or their child) who might derail Leftist causes.
And contrary to conventional wisdom, Letterman’s not edgy. In fact, he’s just the opposite. Doing exactly what those who can criticize you want you to do is not edgy. Kissing the big Manhattan/Los Angeles bi-coastal ass of the elite is not edgy. He’s their jester; their puppet; their bitch. Worse, he’s about as funny as watching your old, half-deaf Uncle intimidate, humiliate and demean your Aunt and then smile at the rest of the family as though he’s just reaffirmed his manhood. Letterman reminds me of the Jason Robards character in “Parenthood” in more ways than you can imagine. In other words, he’s a jerk, but in a sad end-of-his-life kind of way.
Oh, and how the elite critics resented nice ole’ Jay Leno for cleaning Letterman’s ratings’ clock all those years. And now that Jay’s back eating up primetime, they couldn’t wait to jump all over him with sniffing disapproval fed through a filter of wrist-flicking dismissal.
After exactly one show the knives came out: (more…)
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On August 29th, 2008, I woke up and, like almost every other American, was stunned by the news that Sarah Palin had been chosen as John McCain’s running mate. It was not that I had never heard of her or didn’t want her to be the pick (I had publicly called for her consideration numerous times), but because it was so clearly a very bold and risky maneuver and a true surprise in an era when we seemingly know everything well before it happens.
Moments after I heard the news I did a radio interview and predicted that the news media would destroy her in their transparent quest to pave the way for Barack Obama’s historic election. I had no idea just how right that “blink” calculation would be and I certainly never would have guessed that I would become a small part of that story by dedicating my life and fortune to documenting just how unbelievably bad it would get.
The last twelve months of Sarah Palin’s life truly bring new meaning to the phrase “what a difference a year makes.” I strongly believe that no public figure in modern America has ever endured more stress, pressure and unfair scrutiny in a more dignified fashion than she has over the past year (though what George W. Bush tolerated over the last three years of his presidency probably comes in a close second).
On August 28th of last year Sarah Palin was a largely unknown governor considered to be a rising star largely because of her willingness to take on Republicans in a way that had endeared her to Democrats. Today she is an ex-governor wrongly perceived by most of the country and virtually all of the news media as an erratic, unqualified, lightweight and ultra-partisan Republican who can’t even mange her own family. (more…)
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Emmy nominations were announced last week, and David Letterman, Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart, and Saturday Night Live all got one. I believe Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Fallon are too new to be considered this year, making Craig Ferguson the wallflower. He suggested that the reason he was skipped over was because the Academy hates Americans. (I think he’s on to something). Letterman bragged he got one for “Best Apology.”
I have no proof, but it appears if there is a new sponsor for Letterman’s daily Ruth Madoff joke. For the past several weeks he’s been doing the same exact joke about Bernie Madoff’s wife claiming her $92 million wasn’t from swindling, that it was money she saved by switching to Geico®. His repetition makes me think the insurance giant’s paying Worldwide Pants to do the joke every night. This week, he added a joke every night about Ruth’s favorite item at California Pizza Kitchen® that suggested they were a new sponsor. On successive nights it was chicken ponzi, chicken al-fraudo, and veal scaloponzi. (more…)
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Nobody has to tell me things are going from bad to worse in America. The question that preys on my mind is when it was that we began our descent. Some would say it started when Jimmy Carter turned his back on the Shah of Iran, thus providing an impetus for latter-day Islamic terrorism. Others might say it was the first time Bill Clinton dropped his pants in the Oval Office, while still others might contend it began when the Supreme Court determined that the Pursuit of Happiness was a rationale for 80 million abortions on demand.
For all I know, things might have begun sliding the very first time some slack-jawed teenager struck a pose and struck a chord on an imaginary guitar. There was a time, after all, when most American kids were actually given music lessons and learned how to play an actual instrument, and even saved up their allowance to buy sheet music.
Whenever the slide began, in the months since Obama was crowned, we’ve slid faster and further than I would have dreamed possible. Obama keeps huffing and puffing and the federal government just keeps expanding like a gigantic balloon. It’s only a matter of time until it blows up in all our faces. (more…)
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I often find myself thinking that if liberals didn’t have double standards, they wouldn’t have any standards at all.
For instance, consider the uproar from the left when Don Imus opened his silly yap about the black women on the Rutgers basketball team. Now compare that to their response when David Letterman made his smarmy cracks about Sarah Palin and the governor’s 14-year-old daughter. The liberals immediately sprang to his defense, pointing out that Letterman is nothing more than a TV personality and is therefore free to make offensive jokes without fear of censure. So what do they think Don Imus is? The secretary of state?
Or consider how choleric those on the left become any time that Dick Cheney defends the former administration. Well, if Obama and his cronies didn’t constantly attack Bush and Cheney and their policies, the chances are the ex-vice president wouldn’t feel compelled to set the record straight. Furthermore, Jimmy Carter never stopped bashing George Bush during the eight years he was the president, and yet nobody on the left ever suggested he shut up. On the contrary, he was hailed at the 2004 Democratic convention, and even had the honor of being seated next to the patron saint of left-wingers, Michael Moore. Speaking of Carter, how is it that he, who is always volunteering to monitor elections anywhere on earth, including the Westminster Dog Show, wasn’t in Iran, making sure that Ahmadinejad got 110% of the vote? (more…)
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While I’d be the first to admit I’m not quite Alan Alda, I like to think I’m still a feminist, in a Flintstone sort of way (read conservative).
Yeah, my wife would probably be the first one to tell you, I’m a caveman with heart. At the end of the day, however, I support women’s rights, especially when it comes to them being treated with respect.
On Monday, I wrote an article concerning Bill Maher’s recent attempt to one-up his friend, David Letterman, on the stupid ladder. During his opening monologue on his June 12 “Real Time” show, Maher took his shot at the Palin girls and later went on to state how he believed his pal’s jokes were “harmless.” A claim he continued to echo as recently as yesterday in an interview with Wolf Blitzer on CNN: (more…)
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In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: Iran’s election, European elections, Sarah Palin, David Letterman, Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Sonia Sotomayor, Forbes magazine, Ryan Seacreast, President Obama’s teleprompter, Bret Michaels, Tony Awards, and Chastity Bono.
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Yes, you’ve read correctly. To all of you GOP types playing the “offended” card on a daily basis… Prepare to have your feelings hurt, because according to my carefully calculated research… Republicans need to shut up and laugh a little.
Never has the GOP’s lack of funnybone been on sharper display than the last 5 months. For a party that claims to “shun political correctness,” we’ve certainly done a good job of embracing it. Over the past 150 days there have been three “media-worthy” politically incorrect moments related to this administration and Republicans have managed to jump on each one of them for political gain. All to no avail. Let us examine:
Exhibit A
Barack Obama’s Special Olympics comment on Leno. – On air, President B. Hussein Obama made a self-deprecating joke in regards to his bowling abilities. He made the implication that he was so bad at bowling that his skill level resembled that of a mentally challenged athlete. Twas a surprisingly funny, off-handed moment for a generally very unfunny president.
Republicans, however, decided to act as though they were appalled by this and ran with the “you can’t make fun of retards” theme. (I’m paraphrasing here of course, but you get the picture.) I believe that somewhere in the middle, Sarah Palin and her son Trigg were tied into the whole fiasco. The media took little notice and sharp comedians like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert managed to successfully lampoon Conservatives for being humorless old bags. That’s one for you, Democrats… (more…)
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So David Letterman apologized one more time, and boy was it painful.
Now, I know that for some folks, this is a big win. Not for me. Letterman getting cornered over a crass joke means little to me – if only a few segments later, he welcomes a jackass Ph.D. who considers you a “loser” if you do nothing about climate change. So while it might be fun to get Letterman to grovel over a joke, a guest who spews global warming dogma to hearty applause will always piss me off more than slimy slander. Because the latter is taken as a joke; the former isn’t.
More important, I didn’t want Letterman to apologize – I just wanted him to say how he screwed up. Letterman repeatedly chose Sarah Palin to make fun of, because no one in his protective, elitist bubble ever assumed she would be a risk. So there were never any limits when it came to her, Bush, or anyone else Letterman considered a right wing dork. And that was Dave’s screw-up. He went too far because – in his lazy, predictable world – he thought there was no such thing. (more…)
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A friend of mine sent a link to a website that advocates CBS firing late-night host David Letterman for his over-the-top jokes about Sarah Palin and her children. The site tells readers what they can do to help make this firing happen.
But should Letterman be fired?
His so-called jokes were crass and tasteless. Not only did he refer to Palin herself as being “slutty,” but he used a crude sexual reference to Palin’s 14-year-old daughter Willow, whose only sins are the fact that she is a Palin and she attended a Yankees game with her mother in NYC. (more…)
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From Fox News:
Sarah Palin has accepted comedian David Letterman’s apology made during Monday night’s broadcast of “The Late Show” for crude jokes made about her and her teen daughters last week.
In a statement to FOXNews.com early Tuesday, the Alaska governor said, “Of course it’s accepted on behalf of young women, like my daughters, who hope men who ‘joke’ about public displays of sexual exploitation of girls will soon evolve.”
“Letterman certainly has the right to ‘joke’ about whatever he wants to, and thankfully we have the right to express our reaction,” Palin said. “This is all thanks to our U.S. Military women and men putting their lives on the line for us to secure America’s Right to Free Speech – in this case, may that right be used to promote equality and respect.”
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As recently as a few hours ago, my buddy Jimmy Arone joined many on this site in giving Bill Maher a well-deserved thrashing. But I’m feeling a responsibility to give credit where credit is due. Maher may be a leftist ideologue, but when he’s not getting what he wants, at least he lashes out equally. No sacred cow is President Obama:
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My favorite part of that video is the quick shot of Chris Matthews. Even as he plays trained seal, his eyes betray a man dying slowly inside as Maher savages the thrill up his leg.
Now, we can nitpick and say that at times Maher’s been harder on Bush, but there’s no ignoring the fact that Obama’s taking some withering fire there. This probably won’t satisfy those upset at the glaring double standard we’re seeing from television “comedians,” but I find it unrealistic to want Maher or any leftist comedian go after Obama in the same way they went after Bush. They like Obama, they hate Bush. What do you expect? Had someone lost their mind and handed me a Late Night show, I’d be just as biased. For instance, there’s no way I’d ridicule Sarah Palin or Carrie Prejean. I admire them too much. Nancy Pelosi, however… (more…)
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UPDATE: Video after jump.
Full text of Letterman’s explanation, which will air on tonight’s show:
“All right, here – I’ve been thinking about this situation with Governor Palin and her family now for about a week – it was a week ago tonight, and maybe you know about it, maybe you don’t know about it. But there was a joke that I told, and I thought I was telling it about the older daughter being at Yankee Stadium. And it was kind of a coarse joke. There’s no getting around it, but I never thought it was anybody other than the older daughter, and before the show, I checked to make sure in fact that she is of legal age, 18. Yeah. But the joke really, in and of itself, can’t be defended. The next day, people are outraged. They’re angry at me because they said, ‘How could you make a lousy joke like that about the 14-year-old girl who was at the ball game?’ And I had, honestly, no idea that the 14-year-old girl, I had no idea that anybody was at the ball game except the governor and I was told at the time she was there with Rudy Giuliani … and I really should have made the joke about Rudy …” (audience applauds) “But I didn’t, and now people are getting angry and they’re saying, ‘Well, how can you say something like that about a 14-year-old girl, and does that make you feel good to make those horrible jokes about a kid who’s completely innocent, minding her own business,’ and, turns out, she was at the ball game. I had no idea she was there. So she’s now at the ball game, and people think that I made the joke about her. And, but still, I’m wondering, ‘Well, what can I do to help people understand that I would never make a joke like this?’ I’ve never made jokes like this as long as we’ve been on the air, 30 long years, and you can’t really be doing jokes like that. And I understand, of course, why people are upset. I would be upset myself. (more…)
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Here we go again.
During his opening monologue on ‘Real Time’ Friday night, Bill Maher, couldn’t resist piling on to the David Letterman controversy and the sex jokes made by him earlier in the week regarding Sarah Palin’s daughter.
In defending his friend, Maher thought Republicans had over reacted and this was just a case of ‘fake’ outrage. Much ado about nothing. He then went on talking about how Letterman had invited Sarah Palin and her young daughter, Willow, to appear as guests on his show but the Governor declined because she thought it would be wise to keep her daughter away from him. Said Maher, “…that’s right, he’s 62 years old, he’s gonna fuck her right there on stage…it would be very wise to keep her, very wise, yes. You know, I’d worry a little more about the 18-year old hockey players who knock up your daughters.” To which his audience of trained seals laughed and clapped and had a good old time. (more…)
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On a trip that included a leg in a Blackhawk helicopter, I stepped off a KLM jet at LAX Monday after nearly a day in the air and found that apparently, during a short 9-day absence, my country had gone insane.
I was in Kosovo and largely out of touch with things happening back here in the States. I had no Internet, limited phone connectivity, and access only to CNN. This means that while I was gone I received nothing in the way of useful information. So imagine my surprise at all the news when I returned home.
Maybe you were not aware of it, but apparently the United States government now pretty much owns General Motors. I’m going to say that again, because it’s nuts – especially to those of us a certain age (44) who always saw GM as pretty much the Cadillac of American capitalism. The government owns General Motors. Let that notion roll around in your think-gourd for a few seconds.
I’m not really clear on the technical political science term for this phenomenon, since at UC San Diego my major was Coors Light with a minor in failed relationships, but that sounds an awful lot like socialism. (more…)
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The casting of Robert Montgomery (1904--1981) in They Were Expendable was uncommonly appropriate. The suave, handsome actor made his name in debonair romantic comedies throughout the 1930s, but like John Ford he didn't wait until America was dragged into war before enlisting. In 1940, fired up by the...
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