OK, David Cross, we get it. You really, really wish you hadn’t signed on for “Alvin & the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked.”

Cross has been more than vocal about how much he hated both filming the new kiddie flick as well as the finished project. But when he sat down on the Team Coco couch last night, Cross found a new way to insult the film’s executive producer.

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“In all honesty it was the most miserable experience I’ve ever had in my professional life.” The star, who was raised Jewish but now identifies as an Atheist, then made a comment that could raise a firestorm — if he weren’t a comedian and crossing a line weren’t his job.

Complaining that he was forced “at legal gunpoint” to spend a week on a cruise ship to film scenes in which he is covered, head to toe, in a pelican mascot costume, Cross called the exec behind the awful ocean ride “The personification of what people think about when they think negatively about Jews.”

The Huffington Post’s account of the exchange tried to do some damage control on Cross’ behalf:

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“I don’t know how they can survive.” That’s what Dave (Jason Lee) says to his friend Ian after his beloved chipmunks are stranded on a desert island. Unfortunately, that same sentiment can be applied to the parents and children who are forced to sit through this third installment of the “Chipmunks” film series. Like its predecessors, “Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-wrecked” is a lazy exercise in children’s entertainment that should be avoided at all costs.

The story finds Alvin and the Chipmunks lost on a remote island along with their friends, “The Chipettes.” They all fell off of a cruise ship while on vacation with their caregivers Dave and Ian (David Cross), the money-grubber who often takes advantage of the little creatures. On the island, the chipmunks quickly encounter a crazy explorer named Zoe (Jenny Slate) who spends her days talking to sports equipment and is pleased to have new friends with whom to talk.

The chipmunks themselves are hard to dislike. They have quirky, simplistic personalities that would work well in a better film. Alvin (voiced by Justin Long) is fun-loving but vulnerable. Simon Matthew Gray Gubler) is nerdy and cautious. And Theodore (Jesse McCartney) is the childishly naive one. But this script doesn’t have much to do with them, and the adults in this film don’t help at all.

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In 2006, while accepting the Academy Award for playing a husky, grizzled version of himself, George Clooney famously gushed, “…this Academy, this group of people gave Hattie McDaniel an Oscar in 1939 when blacks were still sitting in the backs of theaters. I’m proud to be a part of this Academy. I’m proud to be part of this community. I’m proud to be out of touch.”

My apologies for bringing up old crap, but Clooney’s statement, especially the part about how he’s so proud to be out of touch, is one of the most bafflingly odd things I’ve ever heard coming from Clooney, who’s also famous for telling anyone who’ll listen that everybody tells him all the time how brave he was for making a black and white movie about the red scare. It’s very revealing that Clooney would say this, to cheers, a mere three years after a child-rapist was handed an award by that same Academy. (more…)

In my Final Weekend Tracking column posted on Wednesday, I predicted that X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Fox) would reach $92M on opening weekend, despite soft reviews (now only 38% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes). My first fearless forecast of the 2009 summer blockbuster season appears to be close to dead-on (missed by only 5%).

Star-turned-producer Hugh Jackman has scored his second-biggest opening ever and, easily, his biggest as a solo star. Wolverine has mauled the competition with a massive $34.75M opening day (including $5M or so in Thursday midnight sales). That could translate to a 3-day of $86.8M, getting Hollywood’s most lucrative season off to a spectacular start.

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The great thing about a sequel is that it has a built-in audience. The problem with sequels is that, as the numbers after the title go up, so does the production budget. Very hard to know for sure, but sources have told me that the production budget for X-Men was in the $75M range. X-2: X-Men United may have had a budget of about $110M, while the cost of X-Men: The Last Stand was, in all likelihood, as much as $210M. Why doesn’t it make sense to just churn out X-Men 4?

Look at these numbers.

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Jeffrey Katzenberg and Dreamworks Animation have definitively proven that Digital 3-D is a blockbuster format. Not only has Monsters vs. Aliens seized a monstrous $58.2M in opening weekend ticket sales, Real-D (the technology provider) and Dreamworks have revealed that $25M or so of that gross was generated specifically from 3-D and IMAX 3-D. Fox is reporting that fully 43% of the total take was from the estimated 2,218 Digital 3-D screens.

MONSTERS VS. ALIENS tore up the box office this weekend - especially in 3-D

That means that the Per Screen Average for the movie in 3-D was about $11,700, while the 4,800 or so traditional 35MM 2-D engagements had a Per Theatre of just an estimated $4,780. Exhibitors who figured out a way to overcome the credit crunch and pay the estimated $100,000 to convert a traditional theatre into one that can show Digital 3-D made a killing this weekend.

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