I promise this is the last time I toot my own horn here, and this is a special exception, as it’s a collaboration with a longtime friend and talented young producer, Steve Chab. While the two of us normally make electronica or rock, we decided to test out a different genre and cooked up five original funk songs. You can listen to the full Special Ultimate Unlimited Collector’s Edition here.

David Axelrod,”The Edge”

This was the artist that inspired Steve to ask me to take on this project. Yes, you read the name correctly. And this is why I want every single one of you with a personal blog to create an entry titled “David Axelrod rules!” or “I love David Axelrod!” linking to this video or another D.A. song.

What strikes me about Axelrod and his contemporaries is that, in contrast to funk chart-toppers like Parliament and the Commodores, there’s an intense, almost menacing energy to their work. While the more lighthearted, party-soundtrack sound has its own magic, this darker, mysterious vein of funk served as much of the inspiration for Histamines and deserves a listen… and use in a pointless Google bombing campaign against a Democratic strategist.

Guided By Voices, “The Unsinkable Fats Domino”

From their new album, “Let’s Go Eat The Factory,” out January 1st. The appeal of ’90s rockers like GBV and Sebadoh was their straightforwardness; even though their lyrics may have been sardonic, their simple major-key melodies and crunchy, jangly guitars were anything but insincere. That simple, direct rock is easy enough to recreate, which fortunately means that GBV hasn’t lost its touch. It’s not the most inspired thing ever, and the digital recording is a smidgen less fuzzy and warm than the band sounded in its heyday, but it’s definitely far more solid than most reunion/return albums by veteran rockers.

Have any suggestions, past or present, for the Playlist? Send a link with an embeddable player to edulis@breitbart.com.

That overnight sensation belting out the State of Union? None other than me, Barry Obama. Just a scrappy skinny kid from the mean streets of Honolulu with a silky baritone and a pocketful of dreams. Now I’ve got those high rollers eating straight from the ever-lovin’ palm of my hand. Little do they know I’ve got another dream — the craziest heist the D.C. strip has ever seen.

BARRY

Spend me to the moon, and let me play around with TARP,
Give the folks some stimulus so they can all buy cars.
In other words, cut the debt.
In other words, fiscal re-spons-i-bility.

Yeah!

Appropriate that cash, just like you’re Johnny Maynard Keynes,
We need jobs and health care and some light rail urban trains,
In other words, tighten belts.
In other words, ef-fic-i-ency.

Spend meeeeeee (hit it boys) to the moooo-oooo-oooooon!

Look-out-Old-Barry’s-back!

(Crowd cheers)

BARRY
Thanks everybody, you’ve been a wonderful Congress. Remember to tip your lobbyists!

(Amid a shower of roses and panties, Barry sprints to the wings where he is greeted by his managers Twinkletoes Emanuel and Spats Axelrod).

TWINKLETOES
You slayed ‘em, Barry! Just like the old days back on the DNC vaudeville circuit! Listen to dat house go wild. Now get out there and take your curtain call!

BARRY
No dice, Twinky. Rule #1 in fiscal showbiz: always leave ‘em wanting more.

SPATS
Don’t let that ovation go to your head, kid. Remember we’ve got a bigger act to rehearse for. Speaking of which, it’s time to get back to the oval hospitality suite.

EMCEE
Ladies and gentlemen, Barry has just left the theater.

(On the way to the hospitality suite, Twinky and Spats shove aside various autograph hounds and golddiggers)

SHOWGIRLS (Rachel Maddow, Katie Couric, Andrea Mitchell, Helen Thomas, Chris Matthews)
Call us, Barry!

CHARLES GIBSON
Kid, your act is sensational! Stupendous! I want to sign you for an exclusive 52-week network interview contract!

BRIAN WILLIAMS
Scram, Charlie, I was here first! Whatever he’s offering you, I’ll double it!

STEVE CROFT
I’ll triple it!

OPRAH WINFREY
Honey, I’ll give you a blank check… and all the brown sugar you can handle.

SPATS
One side, boys! Call the office on Monday. Barry has some personal business to attend to. 

(inside the hospitality suite)

TWINKLETOES
Phew! I thought we’d never get through those fucking retards.

BARRY
You said it. Say, how about those drinks, Pussycat?

PUSSYCAT PELOSI
Coming right up, Tiger.

TWINKLETOES
Okay wise guys, what’s the big secret? What’s this “new act” business?

BARRY AND SPATS
Heist.

TWINKLETOES
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. Nyet. No way, Joe-Say. Do I have to remind you jokers what happened with that Annenberg Challenge caper? We barely got out of that jam unindicted!

BARRY
We got out didn’t we? Besides, that was small potatoes, Twink. What we’re talking about is the biggest heist yet.

SPATS
The biggest in history, baby.

TWINKLETOES
Which is… ?

PUSSYCAT 
The United States Treasury. Okay, that’s one Zima on the rocks for Twinky… one chardonnay spritzer for Spats… and for you, tall dark and handsome, one double Arugula Martini.

BARRY
Did you remember to make it dry?

PUSSYCAT 
Drier than my va-jay-jay, loverboy.

TWINKLETOES
Hey — what gives, youse bums? How come Granma Moses knows more about this caper than me? No offense, Pussycat, but I don’t trust dames. No matter how old they are.

BARRY
Relax, Twinky. Pussycat helped us plan the whole job. We didn’t tell you sooner because of that big filthy mouth of yours.

TWINKLETOES
Okay, okay, so I drop a few inconvenient f-bombs now and then. So sue me for Tourettes. But I’m tellin’ youse guys, you are nuts if you think we can pull a job on the Mint! We don’t have the manpower!

SPATS
You worry too much, Twink. As a matter of fact, We were just about to assemble the whole team right now.

TWINKLETOES
Team? What team?

BARRY
The old Chicago community organizing unit.

TWINKLETOES
The Fightin’ 101st Southside Grifters? Why didn’t you say so… deal me in, Daddy-o!

(montage of Obama’s Eleven getting summoned)

************

(pulpit of Southside church)

PREACHER WRIGHT
God bless America?? No, God DAMN America! The Chickens are coming HOME to… um, I am sorry, brothers and sisters, it’s my goddamn cell. Gotta take this. Whuuuh?! Huuuuhhh??? Praise Sweet goddamn Jesus, Barry, I’m on the next flight out of O’Hare. Bye. Now where was I? Can I get a goddamn A-Men!

************

(Inside the Illinois State Prison)

GUARD
Rezko! Blagojevich!

BLAGO
Whaddaya want, you filthy screw?

FAT TONY
Yeah, we weren’t doin’ nuttin’.

GUARD
Pack up your stuff, youse mugs, You just got pardons from Diamond Pat Quinn. Something about a community service parole with “Project 101,” whatever that is.

FAT TONY
Heh.

BLAGO
Heh heh heh.

FAT TONY AND BLAGO
Hah hahhah hahaha haha!!! Heee ho hahhahah!

GUARD
Shaddup!

************

(A lecture hall at the University of Illinois-Chicago)

“BILLY THE BRAIN” AYERS
… and now, to perform an interpretive dance commemorating Amerikkka’s racism against the indigenous peoples, my wife, Professor Boom Boom Dohrn. Pay close attention, for this material will be on the midterm and… what in the name of Charles Manson is the meaning of this rude interruption? Can’t you see we are learning here!

SECRETARY
I’m sorry Professor, but you just received this emergency telegram from Washington DC. It seemed like it could be important.

BOOM BOOM
It better be — or I’ll stab your eyes out you filthy white bourgeois secretary pig of empire!

BRAIN
Washington, you say? Let me see that… mmblmbm. hmbmlm? mlmbmbm! Alright, class dismissed. But I want those genocide essays on my desk by next Tuesday! Five pages, double-spaced!

************

(A back office the Illinois State Capitol in Springfield)

ALEXI “DAGREEK” GIANNOULIAS
Litsen, my friend, I’m nad ganna wase yer time wid a ladda small tak. I gadda ladda invintory I gadda move, en I’m ready ta wheel en deal. So lemme aks youse, whadda I gadda do to get yer iss into dis fine luxury Illinoise state candract today?

PAVEMENT CONTRACTOR
I don’t know, maybe I should talk it over with my slush fund manager before… is that some sort of dollar sign light in the sky? Outside you window?

DAGREEK  
Holy skata! Dass da signal fer the ol’ 101! Barry must be puttin’ da old gang bick tagedder. Litsen, pal, I gadda go. But call me next week about dat candract, I’ll trow in free unnercoating en a two-year briber’s pertection plan.

************

(inside a Southside confessional)

CONFESSOR
Fergive me fodder for I hiv sint.

PADDY O’PFLEGER
Bless you my son. Now what kind of sinnin’ have you been doin’ then?

CONFESSOR
Let’s see, I tore up Meigs Field wid some bulldozers, dere was that hiert truck ting, and a couple cost overruns at O’Hare. Oh yeah, I took da Lord’s name in vaint.

PADDY O’PFLEGER
Well now. If it isn’t little Richie Daley. Tsk tsk, Richie, what would your late sainted mother say about all of your mischief? Now for your penance I want you to say 10 Hail Marys, 2 Acts of Contrition, and give me 5% of the gross on those truck contracts unless you’ll be wantin’ to see me parishioners picketin’ outside City Hall.

(knock knock)

VOICE
Pssst…. heist meeting tonight at Barry Obama’s.

LITTLE RICHIE
Errr…. was dat message fer me or you?

PADDY O’PFLEGER
Why don’t you take it Richie. I’m picketing against the US military occupation of Haiti this weekend.

************

(Outside Keebler Headquarters, Elmhurst, IL)

JESSE “PUSH” JACKSON SR.
The voices of our community cry out. For too long. the Keebler Company has engaged. in the bigoted policies. of. Jim Crow. Elves of color continue. to be denied. cookie baking. opportunities. Ernie Keebler. must step down. as the tiny cookie cracker Bull Conner. of this. hollow tree. of shame. We call on the community. to boycott. Keebler. until they apologize. with $200,000. in small unmarked. bills.

(aide whispers into ear)

Or. best offer. I must. go now.

*************

(back inside the Oval Hospitality Suite, Obama’s Eleven is gathered around the boardroom table, drinking cocktails and getting neck massages from the Congressional Showgirl Caucus)

BABS BOXER
Refill on that Cosmopolitan, Fat Tony?

FAT TONY
Don’t mind if I do, doll. Make it a double. I gotta hand it to ya Barry, you’ve come a long way since Hyde Park.

DAGREEK
Yeah, dis Washington sure is da life! Maybe I’ll move here somedime.

BARRY
Sorry fellas, it’s time to get down to business. Okay dollies, time to go take a nap.

SHOWGIRLS
Aww!

BLANCHE LINCOLN
Must we, sugar? We were just getting all comfy and cozy-like with your big strong friends from Chicago.

DIXIE LANDRIEU
I do declare, these boys have political muscles on top of their political muscles.

BARRY
You heard me, ladies, scram. Here, take a billion and go buy yourselves some pretty little earmarks.

DIXIE
Oh Barry, aren’t you the sweetest thing! Come on girls, let’s get to K Street before it closes. I’m gonna buy my momma a Tiffany freeway bypass.

BARRY
Dames. Whattaya gonna do.

BLAGO
We appreciate da high roller treatment, Barry, but why don’t you tell us what youse guys got up yer sleeve.

BARRY
Gentlemen, I don’t have to tell you that inside this room sits the greatest assemblage of bag men, shakedown artist, fixers, and demolition experts that Cook County has ever produced. And deep underneath this humble Potomac Casino lies the ultimate whale: the United States Treasury. And, as the headliner in the main lounge, I have the combination. Together, gentlemen, we are going to liberate it.

PREACHER
Tell us something we don’t know, fool! You talkin’ crazy!

BARRY
Crazy like a fox, Preacher. In fact, this job will be like taking candy from a baby. An entire generation of babies.

LITTLE RICHIE
Dat’s what you said about the Olympics caper.

BLAGO
Yeah, dat place is crawlin’ wit dem Tea Party Pinkertons. They got security webcams everywhere!

SPATS
That’s why we’ve cooked up a little wing-a-ding-ding distraction.

LITTLE RICHIE
Distriction?

BARRY
It’s a new bossa nova number we call… shutting the lights off in Vegas.

OBAMA’S ELEVEN
Whuuuh—huhhhh!??

TWINKLETOES
Dat’s right boys. In fact, thanks to Ol’ Brown Eyes here, Glitter Gulch is already running on half power. After Andy Stern and the Nevada SEIU boys go on strike and Barry doobie-doobie-doos another anti-Vegas press conference ballad, then, pow! Lights out, baby.

SPATS
And for a little added insurance, Barry has some emergency stimulus funds for Brain and Boom Boom to do a little deconstruction on Hoover Dam.

BRAIN
Burn baby burn!

BOOM BOOM
Wild, man! I’m hip, I’m hip!

FAT TONY
Like I’m diggin’ your arpeggio, Daddy-O. Keep croonin’.

BARRY
In the confusion, that’s when the rest of you boys get to work. Little Richie is gonna crack the lock. Preacher and Push, you’re gonna back a couple of disguised ACORN buses to the loading dock. The rest of you mugs are gonna make like Teamsters with the forklifts.

DAGREEK
It’s so friggin’ crazy it just might wirk.

BARRY
Gentlemen, a toast to Lady Luck… and to the reuniting of the Rat Pack.

OBAMA’S ELEVEN
To da Rat Pack!

BARRY
Now… (slamming palm on the pool table) who’s with me?

(one by one, Obama’s Eleven stack their hands on top of Barry’s)

******************

(at the Press Conference lounge, where Barry is performing an early dinner show)

SPATS (backstage on lapel mic)
Come in Team O. This is leader base. Sychronize Rolexes at 1900 hours.

(montage of Obama’s Eleven at designated locations, wearing jumpsuits and cat burglar gear)

LITTLE RICHIE
Check.

PUSH AND PREACHER
Check.

BLAGO, FAT TONY, DAGREEK
Check.

BRAIN AND BOOM BOOM
Wild, man!

SPATS (to BARRY)
All systems are go. You’re on, kid.

TWINKLETOES
Ladies and Gentlemen, and media nutsack swingers of all ages, please put your hands together for America’s favorite entertainer, the Chairman of the Board, Mr. Barry Albert Obama!

(thunderous applause)

BARRY

How lucky can America be,
they elected little ol’ me,
Like the fella once said,
Ain’t That a Kick in the Fed?
Your future was completely black,
’til you hugged me and I hugged you back.
Like Soros said quote,
Don’t that make your interest rate float?
Your head keeps spinning;
You go to sleep and keep grinning;
If this is just the beginning,
Your life’s gonna be beautiful.
I’ve stimulus enough to spread;
It’s like the fella said,
Tell me quick, Ain’t love like a kick in the Fed?

Ain’t thaaaat… a kick in the Fehhhhd!

Yeah!

Questions?

SCOOP TAPPER
Tell us Champ, what’s your latest take on the economic situation?

BARRY
Lemme tell you. The big problem is we got too many of these big shot corporations throwin’ around their money. They gotta stop wastin’ their cash at dese fancy schmancy conventions.

SCOOP
Conventions? Like where?

BARRY
I’m glad you asked that. I’m talking specifically about…

SPATS (backstage on lapel mic)
Go go go! We have lift off!

(jump scene inside Hoover Dam; Brain and Boom Boom are wiring a bomb)

BRAIN
Roger that Spats! Now, where’s that wire…

BOOM BOOM
Off the pigs! Hey, what’s this button for?

KABLOOOOOIEEEE

(jump scene back to press room; lights flicker)

TWINKLETOES
Holy crap! Those two beatnik morons blew up the wrong power supply! Barry’s TelePrompter just went out!

BARRY
…about… places like… uhm… it’s right on the tip of my… inside-mouth lick-thing…

SPATS (sweating profusely)
Come oooooonnnn… you can do it… think, Barry, think!

BARRY
… place like… um… is it Vas Legas?

SCOOP
You mean Las Vegas?

BARRY
Yeah, yeah! That’s it! Las Vegas, uhhhh, bad. Bye bye, I go now!

TWINKLETOES
Phew! Dat was too close for comfort.

SPATS
You said it! If my calculations are correct Vegas will be going dark in precisely 47 seconds. Come on Barry, let’s get you to the motorcade pronto.

BARRY
But Prompty!

SPATS
Exnay on the Teleprompter! No time! We gotta rendezvous with the boys at exactly 2130 hours.

******************

(inside the Treasury vault)

LITTLE RICHIE
Left 33… left 21… left 666. Bingo! Come on youse clowns, open dat door.

BLAGO
Holy mackerel, feast your peepers on that pile of cabbage!

DAGREEK
14 trillion… 14 trillion bucks… 14 trillion sweet simolian smackerinos of legal tenner! Come to papa!

FAT TONY
And how. Now dat kinda dough would buy a lotta rental slum property in Englewood!

LITTLE RICHIE
If you goons are finished playin’ pocket pool, get busy loadin’ that dough on da pallets.

HORN
Beeeeep

LITTLE RICHIE
Hurry it up youse mugs! Push and Preacher are here with the buses!

(Outside, at the loading docks)

PREACHER
Where are them goddamn crackers? I got a goddamn sermon to prepare for Sunday.

PUSH
I am. going to. put in for. overtime.

******************

(Barry, Spats, and Twinky are hurtling down the Pennsylvania Avenue Strip when a mysterious Prius races by and cuts them off. They are forced to stop. A strange figure exits the Prius, wildly waving hands)

SPATS
What the hell is going on? Is that some kinda cop?

TWINKLETOES
No.. it’s some fat ugly blonde broad in an evening gown… with a butcher knife!

BARRY
That ain’t no broad! That’s dat lunatic autograph stalker Freak Olberman!

FREAK
I knew it! Oooooh, I just knew it! I knew it was you, Barry. I can see you in there, even behind the delicious smoked glass. Mmmmm, llll-lll-lll. Do you know what this means, Barry? This can’t be chance, it’s destiny! No matter what Mother says, we were meant to be together. Forever. That’s why I will always defend you on my television show. That’s why I always carefully and lovingly save my stools to send to your enemies. Have you get my latest Countdown Special Comment stoolcam video? Mother promised she sent it to you by certified mail, but I don’t believe her. Just like Mother doesn’t believe in us. She says it’s silly for me to keep a wig and gown in my car in case I see you. But we proved her wrong. Didn’t we, Barry? SEE, MOMMY??? Ha hah hah heh. Heh! And now, for your birthday, I would like to writhe on your big black hood and perform a special comment in song. Happy birthday toooo yoouuuu, happy birrrr-iiirrrthdayyyy to you, happy birthday mister Baaaarrryyyy O-baaa-maaa, Happy birthdaaaaay to yooooou. Giggle.

SPATS

TWINKLETOES

BARRY
Fer God’s sake hit the gas!

Fluhmppf Fladummpppfff

******************

(at the loading dock)

LITTLE RICHIE
Come on you dopes, get da lead out! Dis ain’t no union shop! We got one minute to load that last trillion.

FAT TONY
Aaaiiieee! My back! I tink I broke it!

BLAGO
Congrats, Tony! Lemme get you in touch wit a personal injury lawyer friend of mine.

LITTLE RICHIE
Leave ‘em for the cops you moron! We gotta go – now. Get these buses rolling. And Tony — remember what we do ta snitches.

FAT TONY
*gulp*

PREACHER (struggling to start his bus)
This goddamn thing won’t start!

(the team gathers around to inspect the disabled bus)

PUSH (reading the bus registration plate)
“This vehicle is a product of General Motors. Detroit, Michigan and Washington DC.”

LITTLE RICHIE
Dammit Blago, what’d I tell you about buyin’ two bit government equipment for this heist?

BLAGO
It’s Dagreek’s fault, Richie! I swear! I wanted to buy some good buses but Dagreek said we could skim the rebates.

DAGREEK
Shaddup you lousy rat!

LITTLE RICHIE
Shaddup da two of yers! At least we got one bus dat wirks. Everybody get on dat one. And dis time, I’m drivin’.

******************

(at the deserted Washington Mall rendezvous point, Barry, Spats and Twinky are pacing around the limo)

SPATS (on the radio)
Where the hell are youse guys?

LITTLE RICHIE
Keep your shirts on, we had some trouble. Fat Tony went down and we’re short about 8 trillion. Aw crap, cheese it! Da cops!

BARRY (grabbing radio)
FBI?

LITTLE RICHIE
No, CBO.

BARRY
Dammit! The Manchurian bond syndicate must have tipped them off. Can you outrun them?

LITTLE RICHIE
Not under full load. This bus is a freakin’ hybrid!

BARRY
Then you’re gonna have to lose some weight. You know the drill, Richie.

LITTLE RICHIE
Radger dat.

(One by one, Blago, Dagreek, Preacher and Push are thrown under the bus as it speeds down the Strip)

LITTLE RICHIE
Heh heh hah! I lost ‘em! I lost da cops! I should be at da rendezvous point in 30 seconds!

BARRY
Richie. Listen to me carefully. Did you remember to unload all those firebombs that Brain was hauling on that bus?

LITTLE RICHIE
Firebombs?

BLAFLOOSHHHH

(The rear of the ACORN bus bursts into flames, engulfing the $6 trillion cargo. Little Richie white-knuckles it on to the Washington Mall. The flaming bus hits an inexplicable ramp at 85 mph, spirals three times, and t-bones into the Reflecting Pool where it makes one last incendiary explosion. Little Richie swims to safety.)

TWINKLETOES (pulling a scorched and dripping wet Richie from the pool)
You okay dere Richie?

LITTLE RICHIE
Eh, no big deal. I ride the CTA sometimes.

SPATS (looking morosely on the $6 trillion going up in smoke on the flaming bus carcass)
*Sigh*. So close.

BARRY
We’ll get ‘em next fiscal year, Spats. You gotta admit, though, it is kind of a pretty sight. Kinda peaceful even. Like some kinda abstract sculpture, with them flames reflectin’ in the water.

TWINKLETOES
Yeah. Maybe we could dedicate it as the Barry Obama Memorial.

(Twinky, Spats, Richie and Barry walk glumly down the sidewalks of Pennsylvania Avenue with their hands in their pockets, to a bluesy harmonica theme)

VOICE OVER (BARRY)
Just another day at the craps tables in this nutty kookoo casino we call Washington DC. Sometimes you’re rolling sevens, sometimes no matter what you do you come up snake eyes. But Mister, that just means it’s time to dust yourself off and tip the cigarette dolly. Because in this crazy City of Dreams a jackpot is always one pull away. And there’s always a sequel around the corner.

BARRY

Show me a man without a dream, and I’ll show you a man that’s dead.
Reeeaaal dead. Daddy-o.
Once I had me a dream, but that dream got kicked in the head.
By the Fed.
Some electors say, I’m puttin’ you away,
Three more years not seven.
In the meantime,
O-o-ba-ma’s Eleven.
Eleven.
E-le-ven.

THE END?

Like millions of other Americans I have been caught up in the Facebook/social networking craze. I believe that Facebook is like a near-death experience except your life passes before your eyes one friend request at a time. I have  been trying to “friend” a lot of people in the news, without much success. There’s been no acceptance of my friend requests from President Obama, Dede Scozzafava, Jeremiah Wright and a host of others. So in order to reach them with some timely advice I am posting some comments here. If you are on their Facebook friend list maybe you could pass them along. 

@ Dede Scozzafava – When you try to stand in the middle of the road you get run over. Thanks for showing where you stand when the heat was on. Go stand in the “has-been” line behind Arlen Specter.

@ Barack Obama - Mr. President, if the trip to Dover wasn’t a photo-op or political why take a photographer along?

@ John Boehner – Nice play backing the person in the NY 23rd who ended up supporting the Democrat.  It’s about values, not party, Mr. Speaker. BTW, let your office staff know I am still waiting for a reply to my two e-mails and phone calls.

@ Newt - See message to Boehner. I don’t know what your number is, but it is not 2012.

@ Jon Corzine - Monster.com or Career Builders. Too bad one of the jobs BHO “saved” wasn’t yours.

@ Kevin Jennings – If you really what to help the Prez- one word: Quit!

@Larry David – Picking on Christians is easy because they are forgiving. It’s not edgy because it has been done to death. If you want to go out on a limb pick on Muslims, you may like the Salman Rushdie lifestyle.

@ Trevor Keezer – You’re 23, you want to serve your country, enlist. You want to serve Christ, enter a seminary or volunteer at a soup kitchen. You want to work at Home Depot, do as you’re told.

@ Sarah Palin – Well done being ahead of the curve in the NY 23rd. Let’s hope folks remember who started this thing in 2012.

@ David Axelrod – Pick a date for- Action in Afghanistan, don’t ask, Gitmo, when you are responsible for the economy and when you stop blaming Bush.

@ Fred Thompson – You are not the evil Spock, please shave! 

Use the comments to add your own Facebook message to the news-maker of your choice.

If your mailbox is like mine you receive an overwhelming amount of political stuff and reading it all can be a time-suck of enormous proportions. Let’s face it, if you don’t derive your living from this stuff, no matter how much of a concerned citizen you may be, there comes a point where you have to say, “Ah, is this paying my mortgage?” That’s reality biting you in the ass and so the knee-jerk reaction is to press delete and move on to something that may add a few more dollars to your already crumbling retirement fund. But, and I stress BUT, like the” pusher man” (remember that song, G** D**** the Pusher Man?) who you cannot seem to get away from, the sheer volume of political noise coming at you can’t be ignored and after just one peek … aaahhh your fix takes hold.  

There’s a great scene in Sergio Leone’s “Once Upon a Time in America” where a young hoodlum waits to have his way with a local girl who “gives it up” for the price of a big cream-puff pastry. As this little guy with the cutest most innocent 10 year-old face sits on the steps outside her tenement door, he looks at his nicely wrapped pastry and smiles in the knowledge of what’s coming in just a few short moments. But this kid is so innocent-looking you know he doesn’t quite understand what he’s waiting for. In fact, there’s more trepidation than anything else in his countenance. Anyway, not being able to help himself, he opens the paper wrapper the pastry’s wrapped in, looks at the whipped cream on top, looks at the girls’ door, thinks for a bit and then wraps it back up. Well, this goes on a few moments until the boy succumbs to the allure of the pastry, takes his finger, and tastes the cream on the edges of the wrapping paper. He repeats this until he can no longer help himself and then gobbles the whole thing up with the most satisfied, beautifully innocent look just as the girl opens her door and beckons him to her, The boy, no longer hungry having had a far greater pleasure then she can provide, runs off.  

At this point you’re all wondering what the significance of this is. There is none. Only kidding. Actually there is meaning and if you can figure it out I’ll treat you to a slice of pizza at Via Alloro in Beverly Hills.  

Getting back to my emails… 

I opened a few of them and one caught my eye that read: “Pelosi Wants To Ban Fox News from The Floor — she tells Keith Olbermann.” Now this woke me better than 5 liters of Red Bull given intravenously — the hypocrisy, the absolute absurd accusation by her regarding a news outlet that is fairer and more balanced than the others… And I watch them all. Not looking to see who agrees with my point of view but for who is trying to fairly present differing points of view.  

I don’t agree with Olbermann, or most of the MSNBC line-up, but I watch them, want to hear their opinions and while I may vehemently disagree with how unbalanced I feel they are … to NOT let them report is DANGEROUS. Pelosi is not protecting the Constitution and should be impeached over this. President Obama, who has also attacked Fox, should tell her to stand down with this kind of rhetoric; the same rhetoric we’ve heard before concerning talk radio and the Fairness Doctrine.  

While Presidents in the past may have canceled newspaper subscriptions over a disagreement with a certain publication, that is our prerogative as consumers. I see no harm in that. But when our elected officials even float the idea of having a major news outlet banned from Congress, something is rotten.

With all these thoughts boiling in my brain, I called a good friend of mine to rant and…. We find out the Pelosi quote is a hoax.

She never said it.

Orson Welles would have had a field day with the Internet.

Yeah, I got suckered … but for good reason. Sometime between the 2008 election and this morning the idea of a high-ranking Democrat threatening to ban a legitimate news organization from the floor of the House has quickly moved from inconceivable to entirely believable. After all, last week the White House — our White House – attempted to block Fox News from a pool report interview. Thankfully, the other news outlets refused to allow this to happen, but that doesn’t change what our White House attempted to do. It also doesn’t change the fact that two of President Obama’s top guys – Rahm Emanuel and David Axelrod – were sent out to the Sunday shows last week to tell other networks that Fox News wasn’t legitimate – to tell other networks what is and is not legitimate news.

We need differing points of view. If Fox is silenced who will MSNBC hosts argue with night after night? Some respected pundits write this off as a minor issue saying the President should not tangle with Fox and keep his eye on pushing health care. But, my dear fellow Americans, we need to keep our eye on THIS. Because if we do not the Obama Administration has made clear their goals -– if we do not, the administration has every intention of seeing to it we are spoon fed what to think, say and feel. And regardless of politics, that is an insidious and frightening thing.

I call on all of my colleagues — actors and actresses, singers, musicians, writers, directors… if we in the artistic community stand idly by out of fear we will slip further from our beloved democracy. We must unite together over an issue that has nothing to do with party affiliation. This is about freedom of speech and those in power are trying to put that freedom in jail, not only in America but around the world – as we saw when Michael Savage was banned from Cambridge.

Contact me. Join the free–speech campaign: info@free–speech.com    

It is time to put the flag in the sand for the First Amendment.

But please act quickly…  

God Bless you all and God Bless America,
Robert Davi

There is an extensive body of writing from both sides of the political aisle that has analyzed the extraordinary depths of hatred leveled at former President George W. Bush.

His birth into a wealthy and politically connected family is where a lot of the animus starts. His rejection of his Connecticut roots and adoption of a rugged Texan persona naturally riled his birth-constituency. His disjointed speaking style also alienated many others – especially those who covered him in the Northeastern media. Naturally, some of his initiatives were controversial. His allies say he didn’t do enough.

But all presidents make mistakes, pursue unpopular ideas, possess off-putting personality traits and don’t do enough to appeal to their core supporters. Something far more insidious was at work in the hatred of our most recent former president.

Now that Mr. Bush is quietly going about his retirement, this strain of rage – the GWB43 virus – has spread like wildfire, finding unsuspecting targets, each granting us greater perspective into what not long ago seemed like a mysterious phenomenon isolated only on our 43rd president.

The first person to catch the virus was Sarah Palin, whose family also was infected, including, unforgivably, her children.

Then it was Joe the Plumber, for asking a question.

Next were the Mormons.

Then it was Rush Limbaugh – who hit back.

Next, tax-day “tea party” attendees were “tea bagged.”

Then there was a beauty contestant.

And a Cambridge cop, too.

And now we have town-hall “mobs.”

Smile … you’ve been “community organized.”

When put on the media stage, these individuals and groups have been isolated for destruction for standing in the way of a resurgent modern progressive movement and for challenging its charismatic once-in-a-lifetime standard-bearer, Barack Obama.

This is their time, we’ve been told. And no one is going to stand in the way.

The origins of manufactured “politics of personal destruction” is Saul Alinsky, the mentor of a young Hillary Rodham, who wrote her 92-page Wellesley College senior thesis on the late Chicago-based “progressive” street agitator titled, “There Is Only the Fight.”

Mr. Obama and his Fighting Illini, Rahm Emanuel and David Axelrod, have perfected Mr. Alinsky’s techniques as laid out in his guidebook to political warfare, “Rules for Radicals.” In plain language, we see how normal, decent and even private citizens become nationally vilified symbols overnight – all in the pursuit of progressive political victory.

“Rule 12: Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it and polarize it. Cut off the support network and isolate the target from sympathy. Go after people and not institutions; people hurt faster than institutions. (This is cruel, but very effective. Direct, personalized criticism and ridicule works.)”

You can read the column in full here.

Lefty-types are always making room for their own, so long as you have a famous last name or a privileged pedigree. For a bunch that loves to push for “universalizing” and “leveling the playing field,” they sure are elitist! This is the world where Anderson Cooper, scion of Gloria Vanderbilt, is handed the keys to CNN. Al Gore’s daughter Kristin nabs a dream job writing for Matt Groening’s “Futurama” straight out of college. Oh sure, it helped that Poppa Gore agreed to guest star twice (but only if his young daughter could direct). Gore went on to appear as a disembodied head (yes, the show ‘jumped the shark’). Is Huffington Post banking on access to daddy Axelrod’s head, too? ‘Wink, wink,’ welcome aboard Ethan…

While most twenty-somethings are scratching heads struggling to pay student loans, or dulling the pain of graduating smack in the middle of one of the worst economies in a generation, Axelrod’s lad and many more celebuspawn have found a gravy train over at the Huffington Post… “Ethan, let us introduce you to Nicholas Graham (of the Washington Post Grahams), Elyssa Spitzer (you remember her famous dad Eliot) — oh, and here’s Tom Hanks’ daughter Liz!” Sure is cozy.

Let’s be clear: being born to the rich, famous or powerful is great — more power to you! In fact, without nepotism we may never have had Liza Minelli, George Clooney, Drew Barrymore or Hank Williams Jr. But you wonder: does the Axelrod hire make the Huffington Post an adjunct arm of the Obama 2012 re-election campaign? After all, it is worth noting he is to be the Editor of the Huffington Post’s Colorado edition. Heady stuff for a fresh-faced college kid — what qualifies him to be editor anyway?  Yearbook experience? A cool Facebook page? Oh yeah, I keep forgetting — his dad runs Obama’s campaigns.

You remember Colorado – the Red State Obama is turning Blue — dumping millions of dollars there for a win in 2008 (well done Poppa Axelrod!). No doubt, Ethan’s role as Editor will establish a liberal media bulkhead right in the heart of Denver. Ethan told the Washington Post, “I’ve been interested in journalism for a while.” Really — who knew there were journalists at Huffington Post?! I know, I know, the kid is green… not to pick on his poor choice of words, but he IS going to be editing for one of the largest outlets for commentary in the nation. So, let’s at least get the job description straight, shall we? I think it reads something like this: Wanted — Editor for Obama’s stealthy online and messaging arm in a 2012 battleground state — relatives who run Obama’s re-election campaign a plus.

As for the untold countless others out there cashing in on moms, dads, aunts and uncles — c’est la vie. Who can blame them in today’s tough times? Like Ethan Axelrod so honestly said of snagging the Huffington Post gig, “I heard through my father that they were expanding, so I applied for it.” Calls to David Axelrod and Arianna Huffington from media organizations curious about motives and favoritism in hiring were not returned.

But an echo could be heard from a distant ivory tower: “Let them eat cake!”

President Obama — David Axelrod

You know. Like Wanda Sykes, Sandra Bernhard and the Teabag-loving MSM.

As to Mr. Axelrod’s crude and lame attempt at insulting humor that should be beneath the dignity of any presidential advisor, I can only conclude that he made that derogatory comment about Carrie Prejean because Miss California shares his boss’s negative attitude  toward gay marriage.

During this live interview, in which Hot Seat host Peter Sagal referred to Mr. Axelrod as ‘the moustache behind the throne’ and the ‘Rasputin of the Magic Kingdom’ (my personal favorite, for reasons you shall soon know), Mr. Axelrod also slammed a comparison to his predecessor, former Bush advisor Karl Rove: “I always reject that. I’d like to think we’re better than that.”

Mr. Axelrod may like to think he’s better than Karl Rove, but he’s actually far worse than Karl Rove ever was in both class and principle.  Example. In the wake of the controversial DHS Right Wing Extremism report, and as the Tea Parties were happening, Mr. Axelrod said the following in a Face The Nation interview: “Any time that you have severe economic conditions, there is always an element of disaffection that can mutate into something that’s unhealthy.” Hint hint.

Mr. Axelrod also also added this qualifying disqualifier: “We value our liberties and our values of liberty and to express ourselves, and so far, these are just expressions.” So far. Does anyone else notice how closely Mr. Axelrod adheres to the controversial blanket statements of the DHS RWE report? Show me one instance in which Karl Rove implied Leftie demonstrators were a potential threat to the Republic, even when joking of President Bush’s assassination had become chic.

Yet for Mr. Axelrod, throw one peaceful nationwide Tea Party and it’s a national security concern.

Like Rush Limbaugh, for example, whom Mr. Axelrod helped coordinate a political campaign against with the power, resources, authority and consent of the White House. Can you imagine the uproar if President Bush and Karl Rove orchestrated a political campaign against Al Franken or Michael Moore from directly within the Oval Office? The Left would have been foaming at the mouth about death camps and Nixon’s enemies’ lists.

Yet, like Rasputin and unlike Karl Rove, President Obama’s ‘Mad Monk’ is fast accumulating enemies across the political spectrum. Mr. Axelrod’s defense of the President’s blocking of the detainee photos, along with the Obama administration’s plan to restore military tribunals of Gitmo detainees, is riling everyone on the Left from the ACLU to Code Pink. One member of Code Pink now wonders when she should start calling President Obama a war criminal.

Also like Karl Rove, David Axelrod has accumulated no shortage of political enemies. But unlike Rove, the Mad Monk’s political adversaries now run the gamut from the ACLU’s Anthony Romero to Dick Cheney. That’s quite an achievement, to piss everybody off in a short three months!

Anyone who knows the story of Rasputin can see the rich similarities here. A wild-eyed True Believer and political loose cannon with extraordinary influence having a derogatory effect on Tsar Obama’s kingdom, making enemies everywhere. Though I doubt Obama’s Mad Monk will suffer the same poisoned wine and tea cakes and multiple gunshots before being bagged and tossed into a river as his freaky Russian progenitor, I expect Mr. Axelrod’s big mouth will sooner or later bear the treadmarks of Obama’s political bus tires.

Then again, the President has been loathe to toss those closest to him where they belong. Rev. Jeremiah Wright and William Ayers were major political albatrosses, and candidate Obama didn’t give them the heave-ho until it was nearly too late in the campaign. That being the case, and knowing the Mad Monk’s close association with President Obama, maybe he’ll be allowed to just keep on spouting insults, innuendo, vitriol and hypocritical excuses to extend Bush-era national security policies, and continue to offend even more millions of Americans of all political stripes.

He certainly hasn’t failed to disappoint to date. And I’m hoping he continues to do just that. I am a Republican, after all. By the way, Politico’s Alex Conant concurs with my assessment. Only he uses a different historical point of reference: Machiavelli.  His analysis is well worth the read, yet I disagree with Mr. Conant on one Point of Parliamentary Procedure. Machiavelli believed that you should “keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”

Obama’s Mad Monk is making no friends, except for the intellectual retards in NPR’s Hot Seat audiences. And his enemies are closing in from all sides. NPR can’t save him there. And with President Obama’s flip-flopping on national security issues and other disastrous policies, the Mad Monk’s inevitable pretzel-twisting logic to justify measures candidate Obama ran against, and the political backlash sure to follow as it has to date, I can only imagine the poisoned wine and tea cakes will start looking real good to Rasputin II as his Magic Kingdom turns to shite.