Oh, sure, we elected a black President (or is this our second black President?  That whole Clinton-as-first-black-President thing always confuses me).  And yes, our biggest sports, TV, music and film stars tend to be black.  And sure our past Secretaries of State, National Security Advisers and the current Chairman of the Republican Party are all black.  But this proves nothing, NOTHING!

If you ever wanted more proof that America is, at its heart a racist society, Universal has provided us with the perfect smoking gun:  They re-designed a film poster for overseas distribution and in re-designing it, they removed two black actors.  I will let the horror of what they did soak in for a moment while you read the report from London’s Daily Mail:

The American advert for Couples Retreat, a comedy starring Vince Vaughn and Kristin Davis, show all eight principal actors – six of whom are white and two black.  But the poster in Britain, where the film is on general release, omits actors Faizon Love and Kali Hawk.

That’s right, Kali Hawk is our generation’s Rosa Parks.

Take a look at the  American Poster which includes Love and Hawk:

And now, take a look at the poster in question which was used in the UK:

Set aside for a moment that the second poster is cleaner and more effective.  The fact that an American company would remove these two actors from this poster SOLELY on the basis of their skin color is proof positive that the country that spawned this movie, this studio and yes, even this industry, is racist to the core!

Let me tell you a little secret we use in the theatre world when negotiating contracts with actors (I suspect it is used in the film world, as well — actors are actors, after all).  Whenever you want to get an actor to take less money than they want and you still need to make their agent look good, you give them as many things as you can that won’t cost you anything.  The number one thing in this category is:  Billing.

Billing costs the producer NOTHING, yet agents have convinced their clients that it is priceless!  It’s the perfect storm in negotiating a deal.  Take a look at that first poster again.   Look at the billing and the location of Hawk and Love in the poster.  Does anyone really think they are included because they help sell tickets to this thing?  If you are stumped, ask yourself this:  If it were Jamie Foxx and Beyonce’ do you think they would be positioned on the poster in the same way?

I see billing like this (for relatively unknown actors like Hawk and Love) and I think one thing:  They got that billing instead of more money.  But, clearly, the billing arrangement was only limited to the domestic release of this film. (Thus further proving that their inclusion in the US poster was a vanity move, not a marketing move).

But the Politically Correct industry sees this and jumps to one conclusion: They were taken off the poster because they are black.  They reach this conclusion because the Politically Correct industry views the world as a collection of different groups of people all defined by their skin color.  In short:  Politically Correct people are racist.  Isn’t this the purest definition of a racist?  To immediately categorize Kali Hawk as a black actress who must have been discriminated against because of her skin color instead of what she really is:  a promising, young actress whose biggest credit last year was as “Nurse” on an episode of “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (and who happens to be black, by the way).

So, of course, Universal’s response to the racists was to appease them.

A spokesman for makers Universal Pictures confirmed the poster had been changed to ‘simplify’ it for the UK and international market outside America. The studio said it regretted causing offence and has abandoned plans to use the revised poster in other countries.

You know who should really be pissed?  Jean Reno.  He’s in this movie and he’s a better actor than all of these people combined… why isn’t HE on the poster?  I suspect it’s because folks in the UK and America aren’t too fond of the French.

I don’t know about you, but I long for a simpler time when we can root out the REAL racists in our society… you know, the people who are against the President’s Health-Care Agenda.  In the meantime, corporations like Universal will have to do the yeoman’s work in purging the racists from their own ranks and empowering the truly offended who have been forever damaged by a poster being released without an image of the fat guy in “Elf“.

But in the new movie “Couples Retreat,” which not only co-stars but is co-written by real-life best friends Vince Vaughn (“Wedding Crashers”) and Jon Favreau (a popular character actor who has also directed “Iron Man”), these average middle-class American problems are given hilarious voice through vivid performances and rapid-fire dialogue. Or, more accurately, the movie shines when it focuses on those aspects of life in the first half of the film, while disappointingly falling off a cliff for much of the unfocused second half. Yet, just like a real-life marriage that lasts, the ups outnumber the downs enough to make this a satisfying if not spectacular night at the movies. 

“Couples Retreat” kicks off with uptight couple Jason (Jason Bateman) and Cynthia (Kristin Bell of “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”) begging their other friends – workaholic Dave (Vaughn) and his neglected wife Ronnie (Malin Akerman of the underrated remake of “The Heartbreak Kid”), and high school sweethearts-turned-bored middle-agers Joey (Favreau) and Lucy (Kristin Davis of “Sex and the City”), and just-separated Shane (Faizon Love) and his ridiculously young new girlfriend Trudy (scene-stealing Kali Hawk) – to join them on a retreat to the Club Med-style resort of Eden. If they can get a group of four couples together, they can all go half-price – which sounds great to the three seemingly healthy couples, as long as they’re assured they won’t have to go through couples counseling. 

And so they arrive in what seems like paradise, and of course, everyone is subjected to counseling from the get-go. It turns out that Eden is no mere resort, but strictly follows a program by Marcel (Jean Reno) that forces couples to get deep with each other in addition to following regimented diet, sleep and yoga regimens. And this unexpected rigor sets the couples off, opening up about unresolved issues each never knew the other had. 

With the hilarious team of Vaughn and Favreau firing on all cylinders again after their cult-classic teamings in “Swingers” and “Made,” the early stretches at the resort are filled with hilariously sarcastic dialogue that takes well-placed swipes at the sappy, New Age-y relationship advice dispensed far too often in our culture. Seeing these guys fight for their right to be guys while their wives awaken to the fact they have their own reasons to complain rather than simply accept their husbands’ bad habits and passive neglect makes for a sharp take on modern relationships. 

There’s also a gloriously offensive sequence in which the resort’s yoga instructor (the brilliant Carlos Ponce) guides the couples – but especially the ladies – through a series of shockingly inappropriate positions and thrusts that offers some of the funniest film moments of the year. But when Trudy disappears from the married part of the resort, apparently relocating to the singles part of the island to get her freak on with her own age group, the couples all have to come together to sneak her back onto their part of the resort or face early expulsion. Here we’re promised a series of comical misadventures, but instead the film strangely pulls its punches and winds up devolving into a series of pat resolutions. 

Following his star turns in a pair of slipshod Christmas comedies (the bizarre “Fred Claus” and the cliched yet funny “Four Christmases”) it’s clear that Vaughn’s trying to steer himself back on course with “Retreat.” Not only did he co-write it with Favreau, but as producer he’s sprinkled the film with his patented fast patter and hired another lifelong friend, former child actor Peter Billingsley (the immortal Ralphie from “A Christmas Story”) as director. Vaughn also has the class to depict his middle-class, middle-aged Middle Americans with respect. 

In other words, the success or failure of “Couples Retreat” rests squarely on Vaughn’s shoulders. He’s a steady and reliable purveyor of comedy, but rarely makes a stretch in his acting persona. How much you like the film will largely depend on how much you like your comedy served up: if you like familiar comfort food, you’ll be just fine. But if you want something with a truly fresh flavor, you might be disappointed.