When Does Life Begin, Y’all?
by Alfonzo Rachel
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Posts Tagged ‘constitution’
Balloon Boy: The Right of Every American To Be a TV Star
by Kurt SchlichterPeople have it all wrong about Richard Heene. He’s not the perpetrator of a poorly-executed hoax, but a victim, a victim of America’s callous disregard for those who suffer from the silent plague that is Media Absence Disorder (MAD).
Sadly, the dead white males who imposed the Constitution on America enumerated only negative rights that limit the power of the government over its citizens. But if you squint your eyes and look beyond obstacles like the plain text, lurking in there somewhere behind the penumbras and emanations is the positive right of every American to be a TV star. Those with MAD are not cretins to be shunned but civil rights visionaries at the edge of a new frontier of governmental largess and probably a lot of profitable litigation.
It’s obvious that American society has failed the Heene family. After he and his brood’s triumphant appearances on Wife Swap, Heene was left media-deficient and was forced to feed his addiction with crude YouTube videos. In one, he speculated that Hilary Clinton is a shape-shifting space reptile, which would be totally cool if true. In another, he claimed that he spoke to aliens at a local fast food restaurant, which is actually pretty typical, at least at Southern California fast food joints.
This sad state of affairs was a direct result of the deep, black emptiness in Heene’s life that could never be filled by superficial things like work, religion or family. Like all MAD-men, he craves, needs, must have the validation that only comes from having his mug flashing across America’s television screens. He not only wants his MTV, he has to have it. And we owe it to him. (more…)
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Honduras: A Truth Stranger Than Fiction?
by Chris BurgardImagine an America in the not too distant future:
President Obama has entered into a special trade pact with Cuba, Venezuela and Nicaragua. Once the treaty is signed doctors and teachers from Cuba and Nicaragua offer their services to help the American “poor.” As soon as they enter the United States and become embedded in the countryside, they immediately begin organizing and indoctrinating the “poor” as to how oppressed they are and how they are entitled to the same lifestyle, privileges and properties that the “rich” enjoy.
Honduran President Roberto Micheletti and Chris Burgard
The “rich” are now defined as anyone who has more than two bedrooms in their home. In this imaginary, future America, President Obama owns several mansions across the nation, yet he declares that it is the patriotic duty of every “rich” homeowner to turn their 3rd and 4th bedrooms over to the “poor.”
President Obama raises the minimum wage by 60% percent. The “poor” hail him as their champion. Unable to meet the federal minimum wage requirement, thousands of small businesses close. Overnight 7,740,000 Americans lose their jobs. The American economy slumps even further. (more…)
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A Christian Nation
by Jeremy D. BoreingIn the comment section of a recent post, I drew some fire for making the following, apparently shocking claim:
We [Americans] see America, from the Pilgrims who signed the Mayflower Compact to the Biblical scholars… who birthed the nation, to the spirit of sacrifice and charity that thrives to this very day, not as a nation of Christians (for that freedom is at the deepest core of our common philosophy) but as a Christian nation.
It seems that there is a growing belief that because our Founders were stalwart advocates for religious liberty, and because some of them had very nuanced and sometimes cynical views about organized religion, the United States was somehow conceived to be a secular nation. This belief is not only untrue, but detrimental to an adequate understanding of the underlying political philosophy of the founding, not least of all because it envisions the government as the nation instead of merely the organization through which the nation conducts its civil affairs, and more importantly because it betrays the singular belief that undergirds the entire American experiment: That the rights of man come not from government but from God. (more…)
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Health Reform and the Tenth Amendment
by Frank DeMartiniHR 3200, the so-called health reform bill, in my opinion, is one of the worst pieces of legislation ever to be considered by Congress. It, not only, would lead us down the path of socialism but, in the process, would bankrupt the entire country. I am very happy to see that citizens are showing up at town hall meetings throughout the country and voicing their complaints about the bill and health care reform in general. It is actually quite funny watching Congressmen squirm when the tough questions are asked. And, it is even more interesting when they cannot respond to the tough questions because they have not read the bill or are even familiar with its contents.
I suggest you continue going to the town hall meetings and voice your concerns. And, do not be afraid to get angry. The Democrat and Republican Congressmen must know they will not be reelected if HR 3200 passes as it is currently written. But, please, do not get violent. Violence at these meetings will do nothing except make the opposition look weak and dumb, and hurt the path of democracy. Violence at these meetings is similar to me being called a racist this week because I stated on a public forum that HR 3200 should not pay for medical services for illegal immigrants. Remember the protest ways of Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King. (more…)
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Time to Fight the Power
by Kurt SchlichterOur political leaders need a quick block of instruction in the concept of the chain of command. It goes like this, in descending order of rank:
#1: Us Citizens.
#2: You elected officials.
I really prefer writing long pieces on why Ernest Borgnine, Lee Marvin and Johnny Rotten rule. It’s more fun to talk about how everything in popular culture that everyone else likes actually sucks, and I’m even going to provide some inspirational music selections below. But duty calls. Right now, a bunch of people whose salaries you and I pay and who work for us are telling us to shut up and do as we’re told.
That’s just not gonna happen. (more…)
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A Thief in the Night: Veterans’ Land Grab
by Jeani DiCarlo
Did you ever have an encounter with a thief? If not, how many times have you read or heard about their sudden attacks in newspapers or TV and thought or gasped, “I hope that never happens to me”?
Well, it is happening. As I write this, we have politicians all over the country stealing from us. Many of you are now more than aware of this new Cap and Trade bill brought to us by “our” representative in the 30th district of California, Mr. Henry Waxman. Well, you may also want to know that Mr. Waxman has been quite busy these days not only promoting the biggest tax in history, but also by helping to give away land he does not own.
Whose land?
The land of our revered Veterans. (more…)
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In Defense of the Birthers
by Jeremy D. BoreingI am not a Birther. Which is not to say that I think the question of Barack Obama’s US citizenship has in anyway been adequately answered, it has scarcely even been addressed other than through sneers and accusations of racism (and yes, a Certificate of Live Birth and several conflicting CNN statements…). Rather, I just don’t believe it in anyway likely that Mr. Obama wasn’t born in the country when two Hawaiian newspapers reported at the time that he was.
That said, I find the way that people who do believe that is a possibility are being treated by everyone – from the White House, to the media, to many even in the conservative blogosphere – to be completely unfair. Birthers are treated as kooks and extremists, banned from the comment sections of websites, and given less respect or voice in the media than those detached enough from basic reality to believe that passenger planes didn’t hit the World Trade Center on 9/11 despite, you know, the video of it happening and the missing passenger jets full of people. It begs the question – Is uncertainty about the citizenship of the President of the United States really so offensive? Certainly no one expressed this kind of outrage when John McCain’s eligibility was questioned due to his birth in the Panama Canal Zone. And I say rightly so. Here is why: (more…)
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The Brevity Act: Time for a 28th Amendment
by Bob GaleEarlier this year, Congress passed a “Stimulus” Bill. It was 973 pages long. This past Friday, the House passed a “Climate Change” Bill. It was more than 1200 pages long.
This got me wondering: how long, exactly, is our Constitution? How many pages did it take our country’s founders to lay out the structure and functions of our Federal Government?
Easy to answer. I found the Constitution online and copied it into a Word document, in Times New Roman 12 point type. So how long is it?
Including the preamble, all signatures and all 27 amendments, it’s 20 pages.
Without the signatures and amendments, it’s 11 pages. (more…)
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Acceptable Hate Mongering?
by Alvaro Alvillar
Yeah-I think I get it? If you’re a media personality of mediocre talent and dubious intelligence like…uh…gee, there’s so many to choose from? Oh, I know, let’s go with Janeane Garofalo now that she’s decided to be a spokesperson for the party of “love, openness and diversity” again. Anyway, apart from proving you’re not smart enough to keep your mouth shut, what happens if you’re a media personality of mediocre talent and dubious intelligence and you openly preach the most vile form of inflammatory hatred towards an entire group/race of people in today’s politically correct climate?
You get a pass and high-fives from the MSM of course, but why? (more…)
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Know Right-Wing Extremists By Their Bumper Stickers
by John T. SimpsonTO: ALL LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AUTHORITIES
FM: DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY
SUBJ: NATIONWIDE ALERT – KNOW RIGHT WING EXTREMISTS BY THEIR BUMPER STICKERS!
Per the Guidelines of the Department of Homeland Security’s recent report, all units and law enforcement agencies are notified to be on the lookout (BOLO) for potential Right-Wing Extremists. Since the report’s guidelines are exceedingly general and non-specific, we here at DHS will provide the necessary details in order for state and local LE officials to round up the usual suspects.
Usual Suspect
First, Right-Wing Extremists are often known to display their radical sympathies on bumper stickers. This could be as simple a matter as a Confederate flag on a pickup truck, but often involves stated extremist messages like ABORTION KILLS, BABIES ARE NOT SPARE PARTS (they are), and ADOPTION: THE CARING OPTION (it isn’t, spare parts is).
In this instance, it is best to keep a safe distance and follow the unsub’s vehicle, to where fellow right-wing extremists of like mind are no doubt plotting their next abortion clinic massacre. (more…)
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Enemy of the State? Me?
by Jeffrey JenaWow! Here is what I did today. I taught my comedy writing classes, I went to the driving range and YMCA with my son, and I worked for about four hours on a new web site I‘m helping to launch. Let me see was there anything else? Oh yeah, I became a dangerous potential terrorist and enemy of the state.
Gun Owner
How did I become more dangerous to America than an Islamic fundamentalist with a vest full of C-4? It was all my fault! You see, I was so worried about Big Brother I didn’t see Big Sister sneaking up on me. Janet Napolitano has declared that a lot of Americans who are only exercising their constitutional rights are a danger to the country.
After six years of hearing the liberals in this country cry about how the evil Bush/ Cheney cabal had infringed their civil rights we have change. Our new administration is bringing us change we can believe in. They would rather spy on conservative Americans than offend Europeans or the King of some third world country. They would rather infringe upon my God given freedoms than offend the Castro brothers. (more…)
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Our Exceptionalism Comes From Our Constitution
by Doug TenNapelI’m not a big Global Citizen. I’m not proud of how the world conducts itself, it has a terrible history and there’s nothing great about humanity other than we have a great Creator. Mankind’s achievement is only consistent in how spotty it is. Intelligence has only made us immoral with more knowledge. Technology has brought us ways to destroy more lives and project more misery with less effort and more efficiency.
Individual countries pale compared to America. So contrast my relative shame as a global citizen with my pride, excitement and honor of being a member of the United States of America. Our country is the best. I’d say that we’re not perfect, but I hate opening any kind of door for the America haters to drive their Prius through. We have good standards, fund charities around the world and have left more of our bodies in the graveyards of other countries to defend and expand liberty than any other country in the history of the world. Our economy is the singularity of the Big Bang from which prosperity flows to the rest of the world. (more…)
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An Argument for States Rights
by Bob Hamer
Relax…this is not another NAMBLA story but give me a break. If you spent three years infiltrating a group of pedophiles you’d have a few stories serving as life lessons.
NAMBLA has a magazine but not a centerfold. If they did my nominee would be John from San Francisco. He was truly one of the more interesting characters I met at the Miami NAMBLA conference. Heavyset, in his late fifties, with his Mohawk hairstyle, a bad case of dandruff, earrings, shorts, and black knee high socks he made quite a fashion statement whenever he entered a room. John identified himself as a “gaythiest.” He had been to prison twice for child molestation and was caught a third time but for some unstated reason the victim refused to cooperate with the police. John admitted to being “out as a gay” and “out as an atheist” but “those things are different. You go around saying you like to run your hands through a little boy’s hair, or you like to kiss him or do other things like that, it doesn’t get the same reaction.” My only response is, “dah!” (more…)
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Michael Moore Keeps Pulling Me Back In
by Michael WilsonNo matter what I’m doing now or what I do in the future, I’ll probably always be known as the guy who made “Michael Moore Hates America.” I often wonder why I picked a fight with Moore. I mean really, I got to be a tiny little bit famous for a few weeks, stressed out for five years and more broke than when I started. Sometimes I wish I’d never dipped my foot into this addiction called showbiz and often wonder what life would’ve been like if I were just toiling away in the marketing department of some company again.
But then the multimillionaire and self-proclaimed champion of the little guy opens his foul, uneducated, lying mouth and I’m reminded why I made that movie and continue to write and talk about Moore. Someone somewhere has to tell the truth about this country and I guess it might as well be me. I guess fate has appointed me his much less wealthy, way less well-known, and much thinner (even though I’m fat) counterpart. I just read Moore’s latest diatribe and got Hulk-angry. HULK SMAAASHHH! (more…)
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Obama’s War on English
by Riley HunterIn an age when a waiter is a server, an actress is a female actor, and a dubiously-competent socialist cult leader is an American president, it was only a matter of time before the “Global War on Terror” became an “Overseas Contingency Operation” (OCO). Thus Spoke Zarathustra this week via a memo sent to the Pentagon and select speech writers, officially establishing Team Obama’s redesigned terminology. The War is over, long live the Operation! This should show the road-side bombers, suicide bombers, bombers-in-burqas, snipers-for-Allah, and other assorted, blood-thirsty, Jihadist savages that the US really means business now. Victory through euphemism!
The unveiling of OCO capped-off a terror euphemism trifecta for the administration. Previously, the Justice Department scrapped the ghastly “enemy combatant” to describe war prisoners in favor of the much more uplifting, “detainee.” Additionally, Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano─who may be the only member of the administration more intellectually troubled than Tim Geitner─rebranded terrorism as “man-caused disaster.” (To review: mail carrier; police officer; business person; but man-caused disaster… maybe the errant sexism has something to do with Ms. Napolitano’s romantic leanings.) (more…)
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We the People Will Power this Country
by Chris BurgardThe nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’ – Ronald Reagan.
My ancestor Francis Lightfoot Lee, signed his name on the Declaration of Independence. Let me tell you what – I pay a lot more in taxes than Uncle Francis ever did. If he’s up there in Heaven looking down on all of us American taxpaying citizens, he’s probably thinking, “What the hell are you guys doing? This kind of taxation without representation is not what we intended. This is not why we made America. This isn’t the legacy that we wanted to leave for our children.”
On my Dad’s side, Great Grandpa Frank was a farmer who lived in an enclave of Germans and Jews in Odessa, Russia. He fled Russia and came to America in order to escape the Communists. I know Grandpa Frank is up there watching us even now….and he’s probably thinking: “Gott in Himmel. Vas es los?” (more…)
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Akmed’s Heroes
by Rodney Lee ConoverSo I’m having lunch with my buddy Sandy Frank, and we’re laughing about his idea to update ‘Hogan’s Heroes,’ but have the series set in Guantanamo Bay Prison. You know, a guy pulls back his prayer rug, revealing a tunnel that goes to Raul Castro’s rape room; the fat lovable guard who “knows nada!” and of course the foreign guy who kisses everybody… wait – I fused the wrong Richard Dawson in there for a second…
… Anywhoozer, I’m thinking later how crazy it was that they even got Hogan’s Heroes on the air, but at least the fascists were the bad guys and the Americans were the good guys. CUT TO: Any given night this week, no less than three contemporary movies are running on cable where the fascists are the good guys and the Americans are the bad guys… wow, talk about crazy. (more…)
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