DHD:

The talk show hosted by Greg Gutfeld averaged the largest audience in its five-year history (446,000) as well as 177,000 in adults 25-54. In the demo, it edged Piers Morgan (176,000) at 9 PM as well as a slew of other cable news programs in way more trafficked time slots: CNN’s Erin Burnett Outfront (146,000) at 7 PM, MSNBC’s Morning Joe (141,000) from 6-9 AM, MSNBC’s Hardball With Chris Matthews (163,000) at 5 PM and 7 PM, HLN’s Nancy Grace (157,000) at 8 PM, and CNN’s John King USA (121,000) at 6 PM.

Full story here.

And yes, they have colleges.

The inverse candy corn was booked by a student-run group, using money from the mandatory student activity fee.

Now, some might find this outrageous. How dare you pay that sum of cash to a pumpkin full of sherbert when you could get someone like…. Toni Morrison!

I disagree.

I believe the Snook is an inspired choice – once you consider the pablum students have endured in the past.

Like Paul Krugman, a miserable wretch possessing the humor of sheet rock. Or that mad-tingler Chris Matthews.

Then there’s Alec Baldwin, Christiane Amanpour, Face the Nation moderator Bob Schieffer, U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission chair Mary Schapiro, and Rachel Maddow.

My fave: Gustavo Esteva-who once spoke at the University of Vermont. He’s a self-described Marxist, which means he really spoke truth to power that day. I bet the air was filled with spirited debate!

Anyway, I’d much rather hear Snookie’s laundry tips and tanning tricks than how Rachel Maddow got her gig (my guess: be yourself!).

And out of all the names I rattled off, Snookie truly is an American tale of rags to riches. She had no idea her life would take this turn, and she seems to absorb the fame and its accompanying silliness with a certain level of charm that you just don’t see in self-satisfied smirkers like Maddow.

And I like Snookie’s philosophy: “Study hard, but party harder.”

Although I hate people who use “party” as a verb, I’ll give her a pass because we both wear the same bra size.

And if you disagree with me, you’re a racist homophobe.

Tonight:

Jill Dobson!

Terry Schappert!

newcomer, Dan Soder!

and some other junk!

Of course it went from hilarious to sickening when I read further into Silverman’s account of the event, and saw how she reacted to the “big hug” by equating Obama’s body with that of a thoroughbred. At this point I said to myself: “Silverman has obviously never hugged a thoroughbred.” (I grew up around racehorses, and Obama’s emasculated frame is by no means reminiscent of a thoroughbred.)

As a matter of fact, Silverman’s comparison of the two – Obama’s body with that of a thoroughbred – is so silly that one might call her sanity into question were it not for the fact that she’s not alone in speaking the absurd in relation to Obama. In other words, she’s not the only Hollywood celebrity to utter such imbecility; she’s just the latest one.

For example, during the 2008 campaign cycle, director Spike Lee said an Obama presidency would not simply bring “a new day, [but] a better day.” George Clooney said Obama possessed “the one quality you cannot teach…which is he is a leader.” And actor Josh Lucas described Obama as “a truly scholarly man.” (Pardon me while I throw up.)

I wonder what the people represented by the approximately 10% unemployment figures in this country would say about Obama’s new day? I wonder what Gulf of Mexico residents who watched Obama play golf in 2010 instead of taking a hands-on approach to the BP oil spill would say of his leadership? And since when does thinking the United States has 57 states or stuttering through speeches on a teleprompter or spending a country into oblivion by running a 3 trillion dollar deficit up to 14 trillion in 2 years seem scholarly?

Obama hasn’t brought a better day, he isn’t a leader, and the only scholarly attribute he has is the distance he keeps between himself and the real world.

Other than that, his only credentials arise from the way his speeches send a thrill up Chris Matthews’ leg or make some second-string comedian like Sarah Silverman tell him she’s going to be naked in her next film.

Yawn.

Now, there’s a reason Bush looks good, but it has less to do with the man, than the media. Think about it: “back then,” you didn’t have reporters calling you a dumb racist every time you ragged on the President! What makes Obama unpopular? For one: you can’t disagree with him, without being called something bad.

Check out Chris Matthews, the tingling mess who cannot fathom why no one is happy with Mr. Wonderful.

Okay..where to start…

First, people can admire Obama and still disagree with his policies. I think he’s a decent guy, and the best liberal president I’ve seen. But I also can’t stand him because he is the best liberal president I’ve seen. Matthews can’t see that it’s about ideology, not race. Maybe he’s the bigot!

Look, concerning his unpopularity, Obama is the least surprised of all. He planned to lose friends from the start. What makes him smarter than Matthews: he knew America would hate his agenda.

But the biggest fallacy in Chris’s whine: that it’s worse to make money than to community organize. How fun is it that while Matthews denigrates capitalists – he makes wads of cash denigrating capitalists!

Fact is, financial motives help way more people than community work – which is often just political resume building anyway. Bill Gates has done way more for the poor than Obama will ever do – and he did it by pursuing his interests, not theirs.

And if you disagree with me, you’re a racist homophobe who should give me a back rub, but won’t.

Tonight:

Mike Baker!

Brooke Goldstein!

comedian Jesse Joyce!

(got any questions for our CIA guy, about spying, murder, terror? send em here!)

Take a gander, gander takers:

But hold on.

I just wonder… couldn’t this heckling be a precursor to violent extremism? And could this agitation toward our President, believed to be based on policy – actually be thinly veiled racism? I mean, the President actually said he agreed with this gay group. And yet they still heckled. Perhaps the members of Get Equal should look in the mirror, and ask themselves why they’re so uncomfortable with a black man in the Oval Office. Perhaps Chris Matthews could ask this question for them. While Olbermann holds the mirror.

Don’t hold your breath – the hecklers weren’t tea partiers!

Anyway – I would sympathize with these activists if they took an active interest in foreign policy, our military, the war on terror, and all the work done to fight evil around the globe. But come on: activists are only interested in military matters when it pertains to their cause. To me, the military is just another daddy for protesters to shout about.

Look, I have no idea how gays in the military might affect battle. But in the end, war is about winning. I want to win. If gays said, “We want a stronger, deadlier military and we want to be part of that,” then I would be behind them 100 percent.

And if you disagree with me, you’re a racist homophobe who’s not invited to my beach house this weekend.

Tonight, we’ve got Remi Spencer! Joe Devito! Brooke Goldstein! and Ambassador John Bolton!  You can now find our podcasts on Itunes!

I mean, by the MSNBC definition – they would be racist. After all, 79 percent of those polled were white.

That’s a lot of white people, and Chris Matthews must reckon, a lot of hoods.

But is it a lot when you compare it to the general population? The gen. pop. is 75 percent white, which is only 4 percent less than the tea people. The poll measured other variables – from education to employment, and there was little difference between the TP’s and the rest of America. Even with the obvious lack of liberals – the TP’s represent the “public at large.” Essentially these people manage the hardware store and watch your house when you’re on vacation. They probably hate rap music AND Gossip Girl.

Now, you think the fact that tea-partiers reflect America will stop Matthews, Janeane Garofalo or Keith Olbermann from calling teapartiers violent racists? Of course not – because the left actually feels the same exact way about America that they do about tea-partiers.

If you’ve ever been stuck in a cocktail party in Manhattan, a pool party in Brentwood, or a comedy club in San Francisco – the concept of tea partiers being racist has existed for decades. They just weren’t called tea partiers, yet. Calling the tea parties racist knuckleheads is code for calling mainstream America racist knuckleheads.

The Gallup Poll just made it painfully clear: the only difference between the tea partiers and America is that the tea partiers went outside. And that’s what scares the Harry Smiths of the world. They loved it when these folks stayed in Walmart, where they belong.

And if you disagree with me, you’re a racist homophobe who doesn’t reuse shopping bags.

Tonight we have the hilarious Amy Schumer, the thoughtful clever Joe DeVito, the marvelous Congressman McCotter, and singer/musician Mike Estes, will unveil his new soundtrack to Red Eye!

GLAMOUR: In past interviews, you’ve bristled on the topic of race. Why

Zoe Saldana: Because ethnic is a word that doesn’t exist in my vocabulary. In Hollywood, you hear things like, “Oh, they loved you but they want to go more traditional.” That’s the new N word. So when [someone says] I look “dark,” I say, “Dark compared to whom? This is just my skin.”

If true, this isn’t terribly surprising for a few reasons. First, the left runs Hollywood and the left is unnaturally obsessed with race. Long after normal people in this country achieved actual colorblindness and started seeing each other only as fellow Americans and human beings, the left still can’t let it go.

Without even thinking about it, good people focus on what we share in common with those around us.  And if there are differences between us, they have nothing to do with something as shallow as skin color or ethnicity.

Chris Matthews forgetting President Obama was black for a whole hour! is so typical of those leftist grievance mongers who see only our differences (and exploit them in order to retain power).

Second, the difference between Hollywood and the real world is that for whatever reason the entertainment industry is allowed to openly discriminate. If some racist producer believes casting a black actress as the love interest opposite a white man will damage the film’s profitability, he or she is free to not offer an actress like Saldana the job based solely on her skin color and his selfish desire to maximize profits.

On the other hand, if some racist producer wants to pick up market share in Mexico, he’ll openly discriminate against a white actor in order to hire a Mexican actor. This is another purely mercenary hiring decision based solely on race and profit.

McDonald’s could decide that the best way to improve market share in certain neighborhoods is to hire only hot-looking cooks and cashiers of a certain skin color. They could also empirically prove that this Hollywood-ish hiring decision brought them higher profits. They’re still going to be sued dry.

It’s just a fact that if any other American industry practiced the same hiring procedures as Hollywood for the exact same profit motives, they would face civil lawsuits of epic proportions and many a visit from the Labor Relations Board.

But Hollywood’s a special place above the laws you and I and every other business in America must abide by. In order to increase profits, they’re allowed to be just as racist and sexist as they accuse everyone else of being.

Just because you call it “demographics” doesn’t mean it’s not prejudice.

Matthews, still suffering from Obama-erotica Syndrome, was astounded by Bret’s treatment of his Precious Prince. To make sure he got his point across, he had a pair of chuckling chuckleheads on standby, in the form of Joan Walsh and Cynthia Tucker. Gosh, they’re adorbs!

Check it out, check it outers:

—–

“Buccaneer buddy?” What the hell is that? Is that like a gay pirate or something?

Look, the real star of that clip wasn’t those three bozos, but the editor who left out all of the Dear One’s filibustering. The editor just clipped the ends of Obama’s statements when Brett tried to get the Great One back on track. It’s sneaky. But so what. I suppose I could go through Chris Matthew’s illustrious career, and find examples of his self-righteous screeching at guests – something Baier never does. But there are just way too many examples, and it’s nice outside.

But perhaps the greasiest part about all this, was when Matthews said, “I wonder who brought this character into the White House,” something he’d never say about Al Sharpton or George Clooney.

Here’s why: For Chris, the Baier interview was like watching your girlfriend go out with another guy. Chris’s jealousy got the best of him – it’s as if that thrill up his leg became rage in his heart. He had no choice but to take it out on Brett. He used Joan and Cynthia as shoulders to cry on. Later they did each other’s hair.

Anything to make you feel better, Chris. The ratings just came out, and the Cartoon Network gets more viewers than your cartoon network. That’s gotta piss you off, being the Olive Oyl to our nation’s Popeye.

And if you disagree with me, you’re probably a racist homophobe who feeds babies to Nazis.

Tonight we’ve got a jammy jampacked packed ham of a show!

Governor Mike Huckabee!

CIA guy, Mike Baker!

Juliet Huddy!

comedian Paul Mecurio!

and other junk!

In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: President Obama’s Approval Rating, Space Shuttle Program, Iran Sanctions, Israel, Russia, Chris Matthews, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill Ayers, Rubik’s Cube, Al Sharpton, and Roman Polanski.

[Ed. Note: Starting the week of March 15th NewsBusters will be moving to its new home at Big Journalism.]