Remember this moment, folks.  November 21, 2009 at 11:30pm.  Over one year after Obama’s election and just more than ten months into his administration, “Saturday Night Live” takes its first crack at Obama for something other than not being left enough.  Splash of ice-cold water here:

The sketch really isn’t pro-conservative as much as it’s anti-Obama.  SNL mocks the stimulus, Cash for Clunkers, the debt Obama is increasing exponentially, and Obamacare’s bogus accounting, not to mention the fact that Fred Armisen’s too-cool-for-school Obama took the night off, but the writers are careful not argue for an alternative.  SNL deftly takes a crack at one side without directly supporting the other side, a tactic “South Park” has down to a science.  The sketch isn’t rock-solid from a policy standpoint, so we will post the clip of the CNN fact check once they air it.

SNL’s “Palin 2012” trailer after the jump:

SNL also took a shot at Sarah Palin last night with a satirical trailer riffing off of Roland Emmerich’s “2012” (which opened last week) where Sarah Palin’s 2012 presidential election leads to Armageddon. Yet, SNL flexes its cunning again by noting “Palin 2012″ is brought to you by the DNC and “the mind of Keith Olbermann.” We figure SNL either intended this to be a dig at the left’s obsession and fear of the Going Rogue author or their way of preempting attacks from media outlets, like, say, this one.  Either way, well played.

The concept for the sketch does seem to fall into the “too good to resist” category, since “2012″ is the title of a blockbuster movie and an election year.  It also wouldn’t make sense that an Obama RE-election would lead to calamity since we will have (presumably) survived his first term, so it figures a Republican would be the subject of the sketch. It’s far from a shocker that SNL chose Palin over other possible 2012 candidates like Romney or Huckabee.  Still, SNL certainly has resisted dozens of obvious Obama jokes over the last couple years, so we’re interested to hear if you give them a pass for this one.

I’d also appreciate it if Sean Hannity would wake up to the fact that a lot of us change the channel the second that Bob Beckel shows up on the Great American Panel.

On the other hand, I wish that merely as an experiment a dozen or so liberals could be forced to watch Glenn Beck for an entire week. I would be dying to know how they would react after watching videos of Obama, Rahm Emanuel, Cass Sunstein, Anita Dunn, Andy Stern and John Holdren spouting off when they think nobody outside the room will hear about their plans to transform America.  They would have made Dr. Frankenstein blanch but put a smile on Karl Marx’s ugly mug.

Back in 1990, the police raided Barney Frank’s home because his lover, Steve Gobie, was running a male prostitution ring out of his condo. In 2007, the police raided the home of James Ready and arrested him for possession of marijuana. Ready, who is Barney’s main squeeze these days, didn’t just smoke the weed, Farmer Ready was growing the stuff. The congressman was there at the time of the raid but denied he had any idea that those plants in the backyard weren’t rhododendrons. I believe he told the police that he was perfectly clueless when it came to plant life. I guess, like Clinton, he too never inhaled.

Because I am always prepared to grant a liberal politician the benefit of the doubt, I’m sure it’s only a coincidence that Barney has long led the fight to decriminalize the use and sale of the narcotic.

Finally, I understand why so many folks are eager to impeach the president, but that obviously isn’t going to happen. Unfortunately, being a Red and despising America isn’t an impeachable offense. However, there’s nothing to prevent people from gathering signatures in order to recall their arrogant representatives.

I suggest we begin with every single one of those ACORN-loving crumbs who voted for the stimulus bill, cash for clunkers, and ObamaCare.

If their voting against the best interests of present-day American taxpayers, not to mention future generations, isn’t reason enough to throw the bums out, I can’t imagine what would be.

As with the weather, or at least the way it used to be with the weather prior to Al Gore’s turning it into his personal ATM, everyone complains about incumbents, but nobody does anything about them.

We recently found out that a bunch of kids in New Jersey and yesterday on CNN were told to sing songs praising President Barack Hussein Obama. This particular song caused a lot of outcry, probably because it swiped bits from “Jesus Loves Me” and “Battle Hymn of the Republic” while trying to mold them into little Obamaites.

Well, in the spirit of fairness we should provide a counter-song the kids can sing to cleanse their minds of indoctrination and give them a more accurate assessment of our 44th president:

Mmm mmm mmm Barack Hussein Obama

He has an ego so darn large we cannot fit it on a barge

Mmm mmm mmm Barack Hussein Obama

He said he has accomplishments but we have not seen any yet

Mmm mmm mmm Barack Hussein Obama

He said he was a capitalist but is loved by many communists

Mmm mmm mmm Barack Hussein Obama

He said he saved the economy, a claim as bogus as Astrology

Mmm mmm mmm Barack Hussein Obama

Chicago Olympics he tried to sell, but Copenhagen didn’t like the smell

Mmm mmm mmm Barack Hussein Obama

He said he’d be transparent but his records are hidden behind lots of cement

Mmm mmm mmm Barack Hussein Obama

He promised he was one of us, but then he threw us under a bus

Mmm mmm mmm Barack Hussein Obama

He has so many nutty czars they’re as useful as clunker cars

Mmm mmm mmm Barack Hussein Obama

He promised Hope and Change, but all we got was a falling stock exchange

Mmm mmm mmm Barack Hussein Obama

Fidel, Hugo and Muammar praised him much, perhaps like them he’s a bit touched

Mmm mmm mmm Barack Hussein Obama

His campaign motto was “Yes We Can!” but now we know that was just spam

Mmm mmm mmm Barack Hussein Obama

He said he was going to save our hide, instead he took us for a ride

By the way, the chant reminds me of a “Star Trek” episode where a bunch of kids are being used by some space divorce lawyer in a feathery muumuu.

What struck me from a few hours of watching leftist television and reading leftist gobbledygook is how far detached from reality these people are. It’s not a simple case of them having a few points wrong, or looking at things from a bizarrely biased perspective; they truly make statements and cling to ideas that have no basis in reality. As conservatives struggle to find apt metaphors to explain their opponent’s mindsets and delusions, I think I may have figured it out.

The left in our country is high.  Completely stoned out of their minds.

Living and working in L.A., one encounters more stoners on the average day than they do illegal immigrants. I’ve worked with stoners. I’ve dated stoners.  I’ve lived with stoners. I know stoners inside and out and I can tell you, without a doubt, that the Democrat Party is completely crunked.

Stoners always think that they are smarter than they really are. Copious amounts of THC trick the brain into thinking that the most banal thought is somehow a stroke of genius. Just watch a bunch of stoners debate philosophy and metaphysics. The most ridiculous comments take on the gravitas of a Stephen Hawking thesis. Morons think that they are Michio Kaku after a towering bong hit.

Stoners live for the moment. They are all about feelings, not facts. They possess a detached sense of cause and effect. I recall one specific episode when I came home and tore into my stoner roommate for not having his share of the rent. His solution to his lack of rent was simple. See, the real problem wasn’t his lack of money, but my reaction to it. I was far too stressed about the situation. What we should do, to solve the rent problem, was grab a couple of drinks at the Cafe Formosa on Santa Monica and then head over to Crazy Girls, a local gentleman’s club. After that excursion, I would calm down and stop harshing his gig over the unpaid rent.

Six Coronas and two lap dances later, I wasn’t as furious. We both felt better. To the stoner, everything was fixed. Problem solved! Unfortunately, the rent was still unpaid. My loser roommate still didn’t have a job

Stoners never emerge from  their stupor. Part of being a true “wake and bake” stoner is the ability to remain faded. True stoners never snap out of it. I’ve dealt with coke heads and alcoholics, but stoners are a different breed. The alkie and the base head will go on their binge, then apologize profusely for their conduct; until, of course, the next time they go on a bender. The pot head always exists in a dream like world of cannabis induced euphoria. They do not see their drug addiction as a problem, but instead, as a heightened sense of being and awareness.

Lastly, stoners never have their own money. Remember those Chili’s leftovers you were planning on eating? How about those delicious Red Baron frozen pizzas? Chances are good that your stoner roommate ate your food while you were at work. Sure, they promise to “hook you up” as soon as they get a chance to go to Ralph’s, but it never happens. Stoners have a bizarre, communal logic that dictates that everything exists for the collective. Your pizza, your stash, your girlfriend all exist for the greater stoner good. To demand private ownership of anything is an offense to the “stoner code.”

With this in mind, how can one not see the recent doings in Washington as anything but massive cannabis abuse?  Cash for clunkers? Stoner logic. Stimulus package? Stoner logic. Government run health care?  Stoner logic. Cap and trade? Stoner logic.

I can picture Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer lying on a bean bag, listening to Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon and watching The Little Mermaid, dreaming up domestic and foreign policy. ”You know who those town hall protesters remind me of?  Nazis, man. They’re freakin Nazis.”  (Cough.  Cough.  Giggle. Giggle).  “What if we give money to people to buy new cars and we smash their old cars?” ”Dude, that’s totally awesome, because we just watched Dude, Where’s My Car?”

You’d be hard pressed to find any other rational explanation for a large group of people who discard decades of historical evidence, common sense, and basic moral decency other than massive amounts of reefer.

I think the whole Socialist, Communist, Nazi analogy is stretching it a bit. Michael Moore wishes he had the self discipline of a Joseph Goebbels. Nancy Pelosi wishes that she was as dynamic as a Heinrich Himmler. Barack Obama would love to have the focus of a Kim Jong Il, but man, it’s tough to stay on track when the Discovery Channel is running Shark Week and Doritos just unleashed that new buffalo wing sauce flavored tortilla chip. Have you guys tried those yet? They’re the bomb.

Conservatives are gearing up to do battle with an army of statist fascists, but we are really up against Cheech and Chong. 

Obama is no Stalin, or even FDR. Face it, he’s Jeff Spicoli.

“It’s our time, Mr. Hand.” Hey, wasn’t that one of his campaign slogans?

Sadly for us, we live in a world where stoner nonsense is taken as gospel by the media and a large segment of the population.  I think it’s fair to say that Obama captured the stoner vote in 2008, but few of us expected him to govern from inside a giant ganja cloud.

The best way to deal with stoners is to simply let them go about their business, but don’t trust them with anything important.  Ever.  My stoner roommate was a source of endless entertainment, but we were smart enough to never trust him to pay the cable bill.  We need to get these Crunkensteins out of power as quickly as possible.

If we don’t, everything goes up in smoke.

In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: Recession, Sesame Street, Elmo, Cash for Clunkers, AARP, Governor David Paterson, MSNBC, Ed Schultz, Obama Joker Poster, iPhone, Marijuana Smokers, Levi Johnston, Kathy Griffin, and Sarah Palin.

We have been hearing a lot lately about a key ingredient to the President’s proposed National Health Care bill – the ‘public option.’ Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi stated adamantly in the press last week that passing a health care bill without a public option…is not an option.

Maybe I’m being paranoid, but it almost sounded like a threat.

This appears to be the lynch-pin for the president’s proposed health care package.  And though Health & Human Services Secretary Sebelius hinted that the administration was not necessarily married to the notion of the public option, she swiftly recanted her statement after having returned from the woodshed.   Apparently annoyed that people were actually paying attention to administration members’ statements, and under the cover of self-righteous snark, Ms. Sebelius flung a swipe at the media with, “…must’ve been a slow news day,” and proclaimed that there was no change in the president’s policy.  The public option was still prominently a part of the plan.  We were obviously brainless douchebags for thinking otherwise.

I must pause here a moment for I am lost in blissful reverie, picturing that closed-door damage-control conversation between Rahm Emanuel and David Axelrod.

What would a giggling fly on the wall sound like?

I amuse myself to distraction daily listening to White House press briefings and counting the new phraseology emanating from the President’s hapless mouthpiece, Robert Gibbs. I think I read somewhere that Mr. Gibbs’ prior position before the White House gig was as spokesman for Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, but I may be mistaken; check me on that.  One thing is certain; this administration is chock full of clever little word craftsmen.  Want to gain favor with the lefties in your party?  Rename War on Terror as Overseas Contingency Operation.  Suspected terrorists are now innocent detainees, in bad need of taxpayer-funded Caribbean vacations.  A catastrophic and irresponsibly monstrous spending orgy by a new Democrat administration is termed a ‘massive debt inherited from Bush.’

And socialism is called The Public Option.

Hey, if I didn’t know better, I’d think…yeah, that sounds pretty good.  Options…that means choice, right?  And choice is good, yeah?  (Except of course if it’s choice for parents to determine where to send their kids to school, then choice is bad!  Man, it’s hard to keep up.)

It’s such an innocuous term – Public Option.  Sounds non-threatening, and so very enlightened.  Like Affirmative Action.  So positive and..well, affirmative.  Yes. Yes, Affirmative, YesssssssWeeeeeCaaaaaaanadian.

I just listened to an orthopedic surgeon from British Columbia tell Bill O’Reilly, that the problem with the Canadian health system is access.  Too many people wanting treatment and too few doctors.  And that’s in a population of 30 million.  What will our system look like with this single-payer set-up in our population of ten times that of Canada?

Yet the President and the Speaker of the House are telling us daily that a single-payer system will provide better service for all and drive down costs.

Now…I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I know when someone’s talking out their butt.

As a pre-med dropout who bailed from pursuing a medical career largely because I was warned about an ever-increasing government intrusion into the medical industry, I must ask you:  What will motivate a young, bright college student to apply to medical school?

Altruism?

I would venture the following advice to anyone who would like to get a clear idea of what is the best way to proceed with improving our health care system:  Ask the doctors.  Ask the medical personnel.  Ask the hospital administrators.  Ask the nurses.  Hell, ask the patients!  Ask the people who are most affected by this proposed catastrophe of a bill.  Ask the senior citizens, who will be most immediately affected. The answer comes back nearly unanimous: They hate this bill.

Those who don’t live in gingerbread dreams and marmalade skies know what this bill portends – with its massive spending, bloating of the federal bureaucracy, and turning one-sixth of the American economy over to the federal government.  It means massive disorganization, massive waste of resources, fewer doctors willing to put up with an ineffective needlessly convoluted system, with less competition for goods and services, hence poorer quality, and ultimately — less personal control of your own life.

But the President says he’ll ‘let you retain your own health care insurance.’ Isn’t that nice of him? He’ll let us keep something that we already pay for, that is ours.  So magnanimous of him.

It is useful to occasionally ask yourself the question….who works for whom?

Everyone like magic? Watch closely; for sleight of hand can turn a leader into a jailer. Don’t blink. They say ‘trust me, it will all be fine.’ And yet they admitted this week that they had underestimated their projected 10-year deficit by 1.9 TRILLION DOLLARS.  ‘Oops,’ they said.  ‘My bad.’

Yeah…and all of us right-wing nut jobs getting all worked up.  Like a couple trillion dollars of debt to our kids and grandkids is any kind of big deal.

The problems with our health care system is that we’ve got too much government involved in it, not too little.  Endless debates over ‘whether we can afford it’ are moot.  A watered down version of a bad bill is still a bad bill and needs to be killed dead.

Socialism-light…is still socialism.

I’m not hoarse anymore.  I’ve spent the past nine months or so screaming at the top of my lungs — fun things like, ‘The emperor has no clothes!’ and ‘He’s a socialist community organizer and Saul Alinsky acolyte!’  and ‘No he can’t, he really really REALLY can’t!’ The police have been called to my house only twice, something about a public disturbance, but in the end the neighbors sort of just got used to it.  (Like living close to the train tracks. After a while you don’t even hear it anymore.) And I did get to engage in a couple of protracted socio-political discussions with my local gens d’arms, and though unamused, they both times let a simple admonishment suffice. (And here’s a shout-out to Harvard Professor Gates: the key element here is that at no time did I mention anything about either officers’ mother.  Just an FYI.)

But I don’t scream anymore. Though it did serve to stimulate my circulatory system, gave me a good cardio workout, and also raised my singing voice four octaves.  (I’m a baritone, but can now sing Stevie Winwood, and for that I’m grateful to Obama.)  But I must say this; with what I’ve seen come out of this administration the past seven months…I wouldn’t trust them to run my kid’s lemonade stand, much less the heretofore uncontested best damn health care system in the whole freakin’ world.

Cash for clunkers?

In today’s non-logic of destroying a perfectly good used car so you can trade it in for $4,500 of taxpayer’s money…I’m wondering what would be the clunker trade-in value for one grossly inexperienced and vastly overrated community organizer?

–

One of my liberal readers sent me an e-mail stating that the health care system in America is in terrible shape and needs a huge overhaul, which is why he was supporting Obama’s plan.  I wrote back to say that I agreed that the system needed fine-tuning, but, like Charles Krauthammer, I felt that the work consisted mainly of separating health insurance from employment and bringing about radical tort reform so that doctors didn’t have to spend more time worrying about being sued than they did about the health of their patients.  I went on to add that if I was wrong, things could always be changed, but if he and Obama were wrong, a huge federal bureaucracy would be created and you can’t kill one of those even with a silver bullet or a wooden stake through its heart.           

Speaking of money, I read recently that a child born in 2008 will cost his or her parents just under $300,000 to raise to the age of 18.  As if that’s not bad enough, it will then take another $100,000 or so to get him or her through college; at which point, after four years of indoctrination by tenured pinheads, they’ll come to regard their meal tickets as bourgeois ignoramuses.  My advice to prospective parents is to get a dog.  You’ll get unconditional love; they’ll never insist on borrowing your car and, best of all, they will never bite the hand that feeds them.           

Usually when people suggest that a picture is worth a thousand words, I, who specialize in doling out wisdom a thousand or so words at a time, take it personally.  However, even I thought the now famous photo taken at the beer summit was worth several thousand words.  While Cambridge police officer Crowley assisted the physically handicapped Henry Gates down the White House steps, Barack Obama blithely ignored him, far more concerned with having his picture taken than with helping his old friend. 

Speaking of Obama, every time I see him, the theme song from “The Jeffersons” starts playing in my head: “We’re movin’ on up to the east side.  To a deluxe apartment in the sky…We finally got a piece of the pie.”  There’s no insult intended.  Not to George Jefferson, at any rate.  He worked very hard, opening and operating a chain of dry cleaning stores.  He wasn’t a community organizer, which, in case you weren’t aware of it, is code for a left-wing activist.  Obama was up to his ears in dirty Chicago politics; Jefferson, on the other hand, was dedicated to cleaning dirty laundry. 

Because I had recently acknowledged that I had grown disenchanted with Bill O’Reilly, a reader asked me who my media favorites are.  There are several I enjoy, including Charles Krauthammer, Walter Williams, Ann Coulter, Dennis Prager, Michael Medved, Laura Ingraham and Lee Rodgers.  A couple of others that I admire are Glenn Beck and Michael Savage.  Both convey a great deal of passion, and I find Beck very funny. 

Frankly, I don’t know why the fact that Savage has been denied entry to England hasn’t received the attention it deserves.  Like the member of the Dutch parliament, Geert Wilders, the reason for his exclusion is the direct result of Islamic pressure groups.  Savage’s daily radio show, one of the highest-rated in America, isn’t even broadcast in England.  But that didn’t prevent Home Secretary Jacqui Smith from putting him on the same list of undesirables as known terrorists and murderers.  Smith declared in her announcement:  “We want to ensure that the names disclosed reflect the broad range of cases and are not all Islamic extremists.”  So, in a clumsy attempt to be even-handed, the loony Brits suggested that a Jewish talk show host was as dangerous as Muslim terrorists, neo-Nazis and a Russian serial killer. 

But I probably shouldn’t be throwing stones at the English, considering that Obama and his commissars are labeling Americans who just happen to oppose Cap & Trade, billions for clunkers and to the havoc the leftists are trying to wreak on our health care system, as brainless sheep.  Large groups of citizens rise up to voice their grievances and he calls them mobs, claims that grass roots are really made of Astroturf and tells his minions to ape the Soviets and rat out their friends and neighbors.  Some people I know refer to what Obama is doing as social engineering.  I think it’s something even worse: socialist engineering. 

I wonder if anyone else has noticed that whenever a black conservative voices an opinion, the liberal claque insists that he’s not an authentic black, and when a white conservative voices an opinion, Obama’s sycophants insist he’s not an authentic American. 

When Obama was running for the presidency, a few of us Paul Revere wannabes were warning you: “The reds are coming!  The reds are coming!” 

Naturally, Obama, a born and bred race hustler who learned his lessons well from Jeremiah Wright, wanted you to believe that the only reason people could possibly have for opposing him was his race.  But it was never about the color of his skin.  It was always about the color of his politics.

In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: Town Hall Meetings, Health Care, Union Violence, President Obama, Cash For Clunkers, Cokie Roberts, Obama as The Joker, Russian Submarines, Cuba, Michael Moore, and Ryan O’Neal.