Everybody knows that Global Warming is real. The debate is over. No one with any real common sense would dare challenge the fact that human CO2 production is directly related to rises in temperature. To save the earth from massive disaster we must all take action NOW.
Luckily our Great Leader and the people in Washington who look out for us poor, ill-educated masses have set “Cap and Trade” into motion. The heathens and “anti-intellectuals” will cynically point out that “Cap and Trade” is a massive tax, a way to further grow government, a way to control behavior and a way to benefit Democratic supporters and lobbyists. But those of us who righteously follow “smart power” know better.

Saving the planet.
Cap and Trade isn’t enough. I’ve taken a few minutes to scour the halls of knowledge (i.e. the Internet; Wikipedia and the Huffington Post to be specific) to relay a couple more things that you can do to stop the biggest threat to our planet right now!
1) Drink more carbonated beverages. That’s right, enjoy that delicious Coke, Diet Coke or A&W Root Beer. See, the bubbles in soda products are made from…you guessed it, deadly CO2. When you drink it, your body absorbs the CO2, emitting far less CO2 than the contents of the original soda. Your body is like a little CO2 destroying factory. So, drink up. But please note, I didn’t say drink more Pepsi products. That’s because I own stock in Coke and not Pepsi. I don’t think Pepsi puts as much CO2 into their drinks as Coke. Yeah, that’s it. Pepsi has 5/10th less carbon byproducts per linear ounce than Coke, so drink Coke. (more…)
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