Cultural Apologetics: St. Garofalo On the Peculiarities of the Brains of Republicans

by Reverend Woody Hol

I grow fearful, brothers and sisters (and assorted ‘others’ whose rights I hold in highest regard).  I grow fearful of the barbarian, ever at our door, who seeks to taint our holy anointing with his heresy and heathenism.  I worry that if we are not diligent, our beloved Goddess, the Almighty Pop-Culture Herself, will abandon us to the wolves who even now grow bold at our doorsteps.  I am currently reading a troubling report.  This very week, our beloved priestess. Janeane Garofalo, patron saint of people who used to be funny, was viciously attacked by the enemy for simply exercising her fundamental right to religious expression and instructing another blessed saint in the sacred truth.  And this at the holy Countdown Cathedral!  Have they no shame?

Well, I for one will not cower.  The Lord is my shepherd, and I will fear no evil.  In fact, if given the chance, I will gladly shake hands with evil, apologize to it for the arrogance of my countrymen, and send them a billions dollars, as long as they are not the true anti-Christs – Christians.  But even them I do not fear, for so long as Pop-Culture is for me, who can stand against me?  So be of good cheer, Janeane, I will carry your cross.  I will continue to proclaim your holy teaching.  Once and for all, I hereby declare: 

“It is evident that the frontal lobe of the Negro brain is smaller than the frontal lobe of the Caucasian brain!” (more…)

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Posted Apr 24th 2009 at 11:17 am in Celebrity News, Political Humor | 122 Comments