I love the English lifestyle, it’s not as capitalistic as America. People don’t talk about work and money, they talk about interesting things at dinner…I like living here because I don’t fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans.

When she says she doesn’t fit into the “bad side of American psychology,” she means she’s become one of the cultured elite overseas whose life mission seems to be badmouthing those mouthbreathing colonials from across the pond – although she’s happy to accept their money.

But that was back when George W. Bush was in the White House, and it was sooo embarrassing to own up to being American. (Just ask Will Smith.) You’d think that with Mr. HopeyChangey in the White House and the fat paycheck from the very successful “Iron Man” in her bank account (with “Iron Man 2″ on the way for next summer), Gwyneth might think about getting de-fanged.

Sorry. Do not pass “Go,” do not collect $200. Gwynnie’s at it again; this time, talking about her latest home away from home, Spain:

It is so different from the United States. It seemed to have a history, and the buildings are years and years and years old. Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it’s from 500 B.C., it’s incredible…

Also, the way people live over there. They seem to enjoy life a little bit more…They aren’t running around as much as in New York. They enjoy time with the family. They don’t always have their BlackBerry on.

If New York is Gwyneth’s only basis for comparison, she might want to consider going to a more rural area to see how Americans are capable of “enjoying life a little more.” But that would mean going out of her comfort zone. Finding out how real Americans live? It’s best to see that sort of thing as interpreted by movies like “The Ice Storm” and “American Beauty” where suburbia is depicted as a hell Dante couldn’t have imagined. And rural America? “Deliverance” has that covered.

But I suppose we really shouldn’t blame Gwynnie. She’s lived all her life in a bubble of money and privilege. She didn’t even have to wait tables like so many other actors and actresses before her first break – having an actress for a mother and a director for a father had to have helped some. And perhaps we should cut her some slack considering that when she’s not reciting the lines someone wrote for her, her best attempt at describing Spanish architecture is to say it’s ”years and years old.”

GP says she was “misquoted” the last time. Will she use the same excuse this time? You know, I wish I wasn’t so psyched about seeing “Iron Man 2.” I hate to think of her tarnishing her principles by being seen onscreen by millions of embarrassing, uncouth Americans.

1. Hides from Harry Reid in the White House’s old bowling alley.

2. Check his Blackberry’s GPS for Hillary’s location.

2a. Chooses the furthest country from Hillary’s present location and tells her to go there next.

3. Tells knee-slapping Biden Jokes.

4. Daydreams about the good old days of the campaign.

5. Compares notes with Pelosi.

6. Helps decorate the new “Census Room.”

7. Dreams up creative phrases for ‘lowering’ taxes.

8. Hums an annoying tune and shakes his head, to avoid thinking about the surge’s success.

9. Checks in with Pelosi.

10. Enters Oval Office and does some bitchin’ karate moves.

11. Asks Rahm what the Joint Chiefs do.

12. Lights up a fresh one.

13. Laughs with Axelrod about Hillary’s ‘ping pong’ route around the globe.

14. Prank phone calls McCain – tells him it’s Bob from “The Scooter Store.”

15. Checks in with Pelosi.

16. Claps his hands and pats everyone in the White House on the shoulder.

17. Meets with Steve Jobs about the new mobile invisible ”iPrompter.”

18. Freaks out White House tourists by yelling at them: “How the Hell did you get in here?!”

19. Freaks out Biden by yelling at him:  “How the Hell did you get in here?!”

20. Calls Bill Clinton and laughs with him about Hillary’s ‘ping pong’ route around the globe.

21. Calls Oprah and asks how his military salute looks.

22. Practices military salute in the mirror.

23. Reads Rush’s latest radio transcript.

24. Asks Biden; ‘What ever happened to Code Pink?’

25. Meets with hypnotist to help him quit smoking and to stop saying ‘ummm’ and ‘uhhhh’.

25. Reads Big Hollywood and takes down names.