The folks behind the annual Oscars telecast did the best damage control possible when they hired Billy Crystal to replace Eddie Murphy as this year’s emcee.

The move returned Crystal, arguably the best Oscar host of the modern era, back where he belongs. And the imbroglio following former show producer Brett Ratner’s vile anti-gay comments seemed forgotten, if but for a moment.

Turns out the public may not be eager to forget that the dust up ever happened.

A new poll commissioned by The Hollywood Reporter reveals viewers wish Murphy were still hosting the event.

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Sorry this is so late. Been traveling since 7am — which means I’m tired, grumpy, and probably constipated.

Brian Grazer to Produce, Billy Crystal to Host Academy Awards

Oh, how I love me some Eddie Murphy for sticking it to the Academy.

But you have to hand it to them; they rallied and fast. Brian Grazer is a very respected and accomplished producer, and the only possible guest host that could’ve bailed these nitwits out of this mess is the universally beloved Billy Crystal. So in just one day the Oscar telecast went from the rock-n-roll promised in the team of Ratner and Murphy to the old-school class promised by Grazer and Crystal.

Quite stupidly, for years now, the Academy has been trying to skew “young” in order to prop up their cratering ratings. But this is the very reason why the telecast has been so dismal. Anne Hathaway and James Franco? Let’s hope that the return of Crystal proves through the ratings that class is the real key to a successful telecast.

After all, we all love Billy Crystal; he’s very much the Bob Hope of our time. On the other hand, Jon Stewart, David Letterman, Whoopi Goldberg and Alec Baldwin are divisive partisans over 50% of the country can’t stand.

We win.

Opening Tomorrow With Predictions

Weekend Forecast (Nov. 11-13)
1. Jack and Jill – $25.5 million
2. Puss in Boots – $22.1 million (-33%)
3. Immortals – $20.5 million
4. Tower Heist – $14 million (-42%)
5. J. Edgar – $11.5 million

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Did the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences have any other choice but ask Billy Crystal to save their bacon?

Crystal agreed to host the annual Oscars telecast today, making it the ninth time he’ll emcee film’s biggest night.

Hosting the Oscars may be the toughest gig in Hollywood – next to doing PR for Charlie Sheen – but Crystal makes it look easy. He even accepted the assignment in style, Tweeting a funny line about why he said yes:

“Am doing the Oscars so the young woman in the pharmacy will stop asking my name when I pick up my prescriptions,” Crystal said in a tweet, confirmed by an Academy spokeswoman. “Looking forward to the show,” he said.

Good start, indeed. Maybe if he’s on his game we’ll forget all about why he got the job in the first place.

Last night’s Oscar show was so stunningly awful that even though I had to be up and out of the house by 4 AM this morning, the stink of the whole program couldn’t be allowed to stand before I hit the hay. Washing it off took a double feature of “Annie Hall” and Manhattan” that lasted long after midnight but was well worth it after that embarrassing catastrophe.  To no one’s surprise, last night’s viewership was 7% below an already anemic 2010. Worst still, the youthful 18-49 year-old demographic Oscar hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway were specifically hired to lure, dropped even lower, a full 15%.

The problems with last night’s show were legion, and much of the media agrees that what we might’ve witnessed could well rate as the worst  Oscar telecast ever.  My memory isn’t good enough to say that for sure, but that the show was dreadful isn’t in dispute and while a post-mortem isn’t what this write-up is about, I will say that James Franco’s arrogant, sleepy, cooler-than-thou attitude that forced the usually delightful Anne Hathaway to over-compensate with the cute factor, was only half the problem. The other half was in the producing (and writing). This was a horribly produced three-plus hours. But rather than complain further, I’m going to offer constructive suggestions. No one cares what I think. I get that. But I’m going to offer them anyway.

1. The Host

The host is crucial, not only to the success of the overall show but also to the ratings. The cynical grab of Franco and Hathaway in an effort to attract younger voters was beyond stupid. Neither is a standalone box office draw, neither has captured America’s imagination, and both are inter-changeable as a dozen or so other actors in that same age range. I hate to tell Hollywood this, but (and the ratings back me up) young people aren’t stupid. They really don’t want to “watch people their own age” host the Oscars. Like the rest of us, they want to watch a good show. Upon hearing Franco and Hathaway were hosting this year, even the squealiest of teenagers was likely as confused  by that choice as the rest of us.

There’s two ways to go with a host.

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So like you, I’ve been watching Egypt the same way I watch the Pro Bowl. In my underwear, confused.

Because I think I don’t have a dog in the hunt, I check out what people are wearing. Eyeing the men crowding the streets of Cairo, I realize what Goodwill did with Billy Crystal’s old sweaters.

Look, I can’t tell if these events are a good thing. And I’m inherently suspicious of any stateside protests that erupt so quickly with ready-made signs. I also don’t embrace revolution for the sake of revolution. I assume Mubarak is far from a great guy, but I’m not sure his replacement will be any better. And I can’t help getting spooked by the name, “Muslim Brotherhood.” It sounds like a prison gang from Oz.

(I have a feeling they don’t like Israel. Or us, either.)

And some of the commentary kills me. We have climate change alarmists linking unrest to global warming, which makes me want to throw up repeatedly, on climate change alarmists.

But they’re half right. Rising food prices do make people angry. And food prices are going up – since we’re turning corn into ethanol, instead of chowder. That’s surely the fault of climate change, or more precisely, climate change alarmists.

But my guess is, this revolution arrived via four things: Mubarak fatigue, a crummy way of life, an ever present radicalism waiting in the wings, a timid west. (more…)

Pixar’s Monsters, Inc. depicts a country that has all but disappeared: blue-collar, ethnic America. It’s a scene that’s been vanishing from the American imagination for quite awhile. In part, this scene is economic, but partly, it’s because Hollywood treats blue-collar workers so dismissively – witness their portrayal as oafish in The King of Queens or John Goodman’s performance in Roseanne.

Treated most dismissively most of all are the men, whose every move is scrutinized by what can only be described as bitchy women. It’s the logical corollary of feminism. If women must rule, then men must suck. Men cannot be seen as nurturing. Working men cannot be seen as liking anything more than guns or beer.

And so, then, it is refreshing that Pixar chooses to depict everyday workers as they really are – human – even if it is as lovable one-eyed green and big, blue furry monsters. The working stiffs of Monsters City have soft hearts and pursue love and friendship, with each other. (more…)

Looking back at The Karate Kid (1984), which turned twenty-five years old this week, a thought keeps recurring.

Wow. . . Avildsen made it work twice.

John G. Avildsen is, in some ways, a director of little distinction when compared with well-known marquee names like Spielberg, Scorsese, Nolan, and Tarantino. The vast majority of his movies are utterly forgotten by the average filmgoer — indeed, he’s been nominated for Worst Director at The Razzies three times. And yet, like Victor Fleming decades earlier with his twin successes The Wizard of Oz and Gone with the Wind (both 1939 — read a great recent article on Fleming here), Avildsen has twice punched way above his weight, netting himself an Oscar for Best Director and giving birth to some of the most memorable moments in motion picture history. (more…)