ZoNation: What Conservatives Are For
by Alfonzo Rachel
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Posts Tagged ‘biden’
Nobody Knows Joe Biden’s Name
by Steven CrowderIn all fairness, some of the questions in the Berkeley video were tough. Thus, I decided to think of the easiest possible questions regarding the Obama administration. As per usual, you can’t even GIVE Obama-voters the right answer. When only 34% of them can identify our Vice President, I start to think of P. Diddy’s “Vote or Die” campaign. If given the choice, I think some of these folks should opt for the latter.
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Barack Obama: The Movie
by Ernie Mannix
“We’re here today, Mr. President, about the project that is due our studio, …on your contract,” the man with rectangular blue Goutier glasses crisply announces to the gathered party of the President and his people. He adds, “I assume Mr. Emanuel explained everything to you… Sir.
According to our pre-election agreement Mr. President, our television divisions were to provide you with substantially positive coverage, while at the same time focusing on the fringe of the losing party, and their…. ‘ideas.’ You know the birth certificate thing, the anti-Christ, …yada.”
(Smiles and chuckles about the room.) (more…)
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On Race, ‘No He Can’t!’
by Andrew BreitbartThis week’s Washington Times column:
Well, that was pathetic. And it wasn’t an accident. The fix was in from the beginning.
Last week’s lackluster “Beer Summit” featuring Sgt. James Crowley, professor Henry Louis Gates Jr., President Obama and Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. was orchestrated to end a national discussion on race, not begin one. That’s why there were no microphones, even though each participant showed himself to be perfectly qualified, astoundingly articulate and camera-ready for an illuminating and much-needed public debate.
The problem for the White House was the more the esteemed professor talked, the more trouble he created for his friend, the president. The clever photo-op sans audio was crafted to yank the director of the W.E.B. Du Bois Institute for African and African American Research off the stage, lest anyone begin to question what is being taught at Harvard these days.
Conversely, the more Sgt. Crowley weighed in, and his brave black co-workers spoke out, the more obvious it became that a national discussion featuring this cast of characters may not end with the results the professor and the president wanted. (more…)
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Your Assignment: Name Obama’s Hot Sauce
by Ernie MannixDateline: Future, most likely August 2012
Having been quite successful at my previous naming assignment for the Obama administration, I was encouraged to assist with another project for the folks at the White House.
After being bored sitting on my rump for a few months collecting my government writer’s retainer, (GS 1700 making it 28K a week) I was delighted to get the call from the new POTUS Merchandising Czar.
The Czar was none other than “Fish”; the former spokesman from the ShamWow! commercials. I knew in advance this assignment was not as high profile or prestigious as renaming a former naughty prison camp, for it was just a simple product-naming gig. However, in my former life as an ad/jingle writer, I had named many products, from expensive toys to cheap boxes of wine and I kind of enjoyed it. Volume is the key. You have to kick out a lot of names, and sometimes those names will trigger others, spurring further avenues of creativity. Czar Fish called me at home from his boat in Florida to give me some welcomed creative direction. (more…)
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The Days of Swine and Moses
by Moxie
A lot has happened in fourteen days — since Friday, the 24th of April — when the wires started buzzing 24/7 about the “Swine Flu.”
Oh wait, my bad. Now it’s the much more politically correct, H1N1 (Dems can’t offend the porcine population, they might need Porky Pig or pro-choice Miss Piggy to vote in 2010 and 2012).
In the meanwhile, a lot of stories haven’t been covered nearly enough outside of blogs and Fox News. Oddly, the vast majority of these stories seem to be things Obama God, Jr. wants to keep quiet. Here’s a not so exhaustive list: (more…)
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Recently Discovered: More Nostradamus Premonitions
by Ernie MannixMy research at the La Brea tar pits has uncovered even more Nostradamus Quatrains that just may, (I repeat in the name of truth and science); may pertain to our current national situation. My humble opinion as to what the Quatrain just might be saying is in parentheses next to the listing. You be the judge. (Additional research at Bob’s Big Boy in Burbank and J.G Melon’s in NYC.)
Quatrain 3 Century XMII (The Vice President)
Then came in the wild stories. The tall of the truth will be at full ebb. Laughter from high rooms of the House of White walls. Quash factus, push out all that matters in truth. Rove on in the snicker. Wash away all the real and only then the Byden will spin the tallest tales and really shovel the crap. (more…)
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Joe FREAKING Biden! (Featuring Rain Man)
by Steven CrowderOn November 4th, 2008, when I realized that Joe Biden was going to be the next Vice President of the United States, I swear that I could hear “Taps” playing faintly in the distance. There’s no used crying over spilled milk however, which is why I say; Let’s laugh at this chump while we can. Oh Joe! What will he do next?
When life gives you lemons… Poke fun at the absurdly oblivious Vice President and his pipe-cleaneresque hair-plugs.
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Madoff and Obama: Fellow Ponzi Schemers
by Burt PrelutskyFirst, let me make it clear that I despise Bernard Madoff and wanted to see him fry. Still, I must confess that when I first heard that they were sending this elderly rat to jail for a hundred years, it struck me as absurd. But if it’s true that the good die young, I suppose it’s just possible that Madoff might walk out of prison a free man in 2109.
On the other hand, I kept asking myself why anyone would invest with this schmuck. When I was a kid, I used to watch a TV show called “Racket Squad.” Every week they would dramatize a different con game. (Obviously, while young Burt was just sitting home watching, young Bernie was busily taking notes.) As varied as the cons were, the moral was always the same. As the show’s narrator, Reed Hadley, patiently pointed out week after week, if something sounds too good to be true, turn around and run, don’t walk. (more…)
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Let Us Not Praise Famous Men (Or Women)
by Burt PrelutskyThe way that liberal politicians and Hollywood celebrities carry on over the plight of poor people, you might easily get the idea that they actually know some. They don’t. Why would they when they only hang around with each other?
Those two groups are made up entirely of narcissists. Who else would want or need to exist entirely in the spotlight? They’re like moths. The irony is that, physically, the two groups couldn’t be more different and, yet, on a per capita basis, they probably spend the same amount on Botox, collagen and plastic surgery. When it comes to nips, tucks and hair transplants, alone, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden, have spent enough money to keep several poor families in vittles for years to come. (more…)
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Onion Ignores Obama, Slams Rush
by Christian TotoThe Onion can’t find anything funny about President Barack Obama or his presidency yet. But it quickly jumped on the Democratic Talking Points bandwagon this week with a sour assault on talk show giant Rush Limbaugh.
The humor publication has been tap dancing wildly to avoid any articles that could so much as pierce the skin of the new president. But they took off the gloves when it came time to mock Limbaugh in the newest edition, now available everywhere.
To say the “Rush Limbaugh Returns” infographic isn’t funny is to be kind. It’s cruel and assumes both the worst about Limbaugh and his legion of fans. Humor needs to be based on a kernel of truth to work, but only a rabid left winger would think the material here is knee slapper stuff.
Here’s a sample of the faux incendiary comments Limbaugh has made, according to the publication:
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The O-Team: In Case Ya’ Missed It!
by Alfonzo RachelDirk Bennedict played two of my favorite characters ever, in two of my favorite T.V. shows ever! Word to the Dirk! Glad to see him here on Big Hollywood!
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