The Washington Post recently reported on the Bravo poll that gave the Salahis the spotlight once again. The article noted that Bravo ”decided to poll viewers for their thoughts on Michaele and Tareq Salahi. This included asking whether you’d think less of Bravo if it gave the Salahis their own reality series.” The Post article noted that “the poll, which was being conducted by Research Results — a company that says it’s affiliated with NBC Universal” asked repondents if  “it would be in poor taste to give them [the Salahis] their own reality show. ” The answer to that question seems obvious.  The Salahis got publicity for breaking into a White House party. If that activity helps to earn them a reality show, that will only lead to future White House incursions by publicity-hungry celebrity wannabes.

Sadly, the Salahis are no stranger to either Bravo or the reality show universe. According to a New York Times article from November, the Salahis were already being filmed because they might be added to another reality show.  According to that article, Bravo had ”confirmed that Michaele Salahi was being seriously considered for the coming series ‘The Real Housewives of D.C.’”  However, the recent Bravo poll suggests to some that the Salahis are being considered for more than just a supporting role on a reality program.  As an article from the New York Post noted, one of the questions in the poll, that attempts to gauge people’s thoughts about the network if they gave the couple their own show, “suggests that somewhere within the NBCU wheelhouse, someone is contemplating giving the fame-seeking duo a shot at their own TV show.”

The reasons not to include the Salahis on their schedule should be obvious to Bravo and it seems like it may have been evident to some of the folks behind the poll. The Post article noted that the poll was “yanked since word of it got out to the press Wednesday morning.” Someone at Bravo or working on the poll must have realized the amount of bad publicity that the network could get for conducting a survey about whether White House party crashers should get their own show.

The Salahis are famous for the wrong reasons – not for what they did right or the careers that they took time building.  They are famous for what they did wrong: crashing a White House party, and that should not get them more air time. Plus, the Salahis already have a guest appearence scheduled that should get them a lot of media coverage. The Post article stated that the infamous couple “are already the stars of a federal investigation and a Congressional committee wants to meet them too, voting to subpoena them for a Jan. 20 hearing, although, sadly, their reps have said they’ll take the Fifth at that bash.” How ironic. The one time they actually get invitations to appear and they don’t want to say anything. (Unless of course, Vice President Joe Biden shows up and then the Salahis would probably want to take a picture with him.)

I hope that in pulling the plug on the poll, Bravo also decided against giving this couple any more publicity by not puttting them on their own reality show. I am also hoping the network realizes that the actions of the Salahis should not give them a career boost.  If the network decides against putting the Salahis on their own show and rejecting them from “Housewives,”  I would say ”bravo.”

Sadly, the dead white males who imposed the Constitution on America enumerated only negative rights that limit the power of the government over its citizens.  But if you squint your eyes and look beyond obstacles like the plain text, lurking in there somewhere behind the penumbras and emanations is the positive right of every American to be a TV star.  Those with MAD are not cretins to be shunned but civil rights visionaries at the edge of a new frontier of governmental largess and probably a lot of profitable litigation.

It’s obvious that American society has failed the Heene family.  After he and his brood’s triumphant appearances on Wife Swap, Heene was left media-deficient and was forced to feed his addiction with crude YouTube videos.  In one, he speculated that Hilary Clinton is a shape-shifting space reptile, which would be totally cool if true.  In another, he claimed that he spoke to aliens at a local fast food restaurant, which is actually pretty typical, at least at Southern California fast food joints.

This sad state of affairs was a direct result of the deep, black emptiness in Heene’s life that could never be filled by superficial things like work, religion or family.  Like all MAD-men, he craves, needs, must have the validation that only comes from having his mug flashing across America’s television screens.  He not only wants his MTV, he has to have it.  And we owe it to him.

But, typical of the kind of divided America left behind by the Bush regime, we failed to give it to him.  TLC, that paragon of class television, passed on his reality series proposal.  What is clear is that Heene’s rights have been grossly violated – this likely constitutes a full-fledged hate crime.  So his actions are understandable, even admirable, in light of the oppression visited upon him.  Roping his wife and kids into a project that had cops, pilots and others chasing a glorified Mylar “Happy Birthday” balloon across Colorado was not a giant scam but a cry for help.

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America – will you answer the challenge?  They certainly would in Europe.  Surely America can spend a few billion dollars to ensure that unfortunate victims like Heene can have their 15 minutes and then some.  Is it too much to ask America’s wealthiest to pay just a bit more so MAD victims can receive the validation that our Constitution clearly holds they are owed?

Our government must address this terrible crisis!  The only real question is the extent of the MAD public option – should the government undertake to directly provide media access in a “single media” system?  Or should it allow – at least for a while – private media to continue, but with a “public media exchanges” designed to provide the competition that is utterly unknown to media companies now.  However, to bend the cost curve down it can cost no more than $900 billion.  Perhaps we can impose a tax on those with a “cadillac” media profile.

And don’t let yourself by distracted by the Right Wing’s lies - this plan will not provide free media coverage to aliens, whether they are illegal, cabinet officials, or hanging out at your local Burger King.

Senator Snowe, I think I hear history calling again.

Or, as an alternative, we could just express our contempt for dumbasses like Richard Heene and stop celebrating the antics of every buffoon without a shame gene.

In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: Balloon Boy, New GOP Website, Senator Olympia Snowe, Hillary Clinton, President Obama, Soledad O’Brien, Celebrity Jeopardy!, Rush Limbaugh, Keith Olbermann, Senior Citizens, and Mike Huckabee.