Cheetos (Poor People Need Fathers Not Government Programs)

I’m sitting in a waiting room.  I’m waiting for my auditioning squad to execute me.  I’m wearing my black and red plaid, $1400 St. John audition outfit.  I’ve worn it to every audition for six years.  It has a small hole in it.  I hope they don’t notice.  I have time to kill so I’m trying to crawl inside the head of a liberal. 

The people auditioning me will all be liberals.  Should I hide my recent, passionate Tea-Bagging activities, if the topic comes up?  Why should they hate me?  I only want the best for everyone.  My beliefs in the Bible, and freedom and capitalism are only ideals that bless people.  And, they worked real good from 1776 to 2008…with a hitch in the 60s where immorality, free love, the pill, drugs, divorce, and the breakup of the family started the thread of morality unraveling.  You can’t have a great country without the spirit of The Ten Commandments hovering in the hearts of its citizens.   (more…)