The “Two and a Half Men” star has vowed to suspend his Tweets after getting a cyber-earful from fans following his initial defense of Penn State football coach Joe Paterno.

The revered coach was fired yesterday in the wake of the school’s child molestation scandal, and Kutcher took to Twitter to share 140 characters worth on the matter according to the Los Angeles Times:

“How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste” (the tweet has since been removed from his page). The response, obviously, was scathing and before long the star confessed he was unaware that the firing came in the wake of a child sex abuse scandal at the school.

A Twitter mea culpa quickly ensued.

“Heard Joe was fired, fully recant previous tweet!” Kutcher later said to his more than 8 million followers. “Didn’t have full story. #admitwhenYoumakemistakes” …

… In response to the negative feedback he received, Kutcher has opted to take a vow of silence on his account until he can find a way to “properly manage” his feed. Adding that he felt “awful” about the error.

Good thing he’s not working on Oscar night. This ill-advised Tweet could have had real repercussions.

—–

However, this rule doesn’t really apply when it comes to gay men.  A greater percentage of male/male relationships (compared to male/female or female/female) can be purely sexual without any “strings attached,” and, to the filmmakers’ credit, that nuance is not lost in “Friends with Benefits.”  Woody Harrelson, who is very funny as an over-the-top gay character, offers this wisdom.  But the ideas that “monogamy is against our nature” and casual sex comes with negligible emotional and physical baggage–particularly when there’s a woman in the equation–has been roundly rebuked in recent years and Hollywood romantic comedies deserve a lot of the credit.

There are even a few jokes that specifically target liberals: Kunis refers to hybrid cars and local/organic/sustainable food as “bullshit” on separate occasions and Harrelson says that “no one wants to fuck Obama” because his ears are too big.  For years romantic comedies have been a haven for conservative moviegoers because they tend to glorify monogamy as opposed to loveless sex.  But now they’re also subjecting liberals to the types of barbs right-of-center folk have endured for decades!? Could Hollywood finally be turning a corner?  With the advent of new media, conservatives finally have had a megaphone to complain about these digs that typically only go in one direction (ours).  Maybe it’s having an effect!

Yet, “FWB” is merely a partial victory, and that should come as no surprise given the fact that the movie was written and directed by Will Gluck.  Up until this point, Gluck’s biggest accomplishment has been “Easy-A,” the most anti-Christian movie I’ve seen in recent memory.  Pathological anti-religious h8, affected dialogue heavy on attitude but light on depth, and an extremely high opinion of itself made “Easy-A” my most painful movie-going experience of 2010. (On the bright side, it inspired one of my favorite John Nolte blog posts of the year, “All Christians are Bad, All Gays are Good, and John Hughes Really Is Dead”).

Gluck managed to slip in one solid anti-God sucker punch this time around, which came fumbling out of left-field in the second act. This is rough transcript of a date scene with Mila Kunis’s character, Jaime, and Parker, a handsome child oncologist:

Jaime: It’s amazing that you cure kids with cancer.

Parker: Well… me and God.

[Long awkward pause…]

Jaime: You’re kidding, right?

Parker: Yes.  [Chuckles.] But could you imagine if I actually thought that?

Jaime: I’ve dated a lot of assholes who would say something like that.

Parker: I work with a lot of those assholes.

[Both laugh.]

So, if you believe God plays any role in curing disease, you must be an asshole…  Right… This dialogue did not play well with the audience at the sold-out Hollywood screening I attended, but I happened to be sitting with an Atheist friend of mine who was grinning ear to ear.

A pattern I’ve noticed with romantic comedies is that the advertising does not always reflect the values of the movie.  With “No Strings Attached,” the iconic moment of the teaser trailer is Natalie Portman jumping onto Ashton Kutcher’s back and yelling, “Why can’t we just have sex!?!”  An interesting quote to highlight considering the movie itself was all but a 90-minute PSA for monogamous relationships.  Same thing goes for the “Friends with Benefits” business team, which marketed the flick by waging a campaign to add a “friends with benefits” relationship status to facebook.  I wonder if the genius who came up with this idea had actually seen the movie, which largely dismisses the notion that “friends with benefits” is even possible. The facebook campaign has thus far failed.

Values aside, “Friends with Benefits” is a good time at the theatre.  Alas, romantic movies with complex characters that capture the subtleties of relationships and life are few and far between, and “FWB” certainly isn’t one of them.  I suppose we can’t expect an “Annie Hall” or a “When Harry Met Sally” every decade, much less every year (and 2009’s “500 Days of Summer” may be as close as Hollywood is going to get anytime soon).  No, we live in the age where all leads are super-hip and witty with perfect jobs and apartments but are just-a-little-bit-fucked-up; we’re in a cinematic era where the supporting cast is primarily made up of goof-balls alternating between chewing-up scenery like a puppy with a fresh bone and offering bumper-sticker wisdom.  And in that sense, “Friends with Benefits” is standard Hollywood fare, but it’s still a lot of fun and it’s hard to ask for more than that from the rom-com genre.

And besides, when it comes to romantic comedies, standard Hollywood fare also implies values to which Big Hollywood readers can generally relate, so why miss out on a rare film made with conservative sensibilities in mind? Especially one starring Mila Kunis.

NEW YORK (AP) – There should be no shortage of material.

Comedy Central said Tuesday that Charlie Sheen has agreed to be the subject of its next celebrity roast. It will be taped in Los Angeles and air on Sept. 19.

That also happens to be the same night that Ashton Kutcher debuts as Sheen’s replacement in the CBS comedy “Two and a Half Men.” Sheen was thrown off the show after his hard partying forced a production shutdown.

The two programs won’t compete directly. The Comedy Central roast is scheduled for 10 p.m., an hour after “Two and a Half Men.”

Sheen says: “You could say I’ve been providing kindling for this roast for a while. It’s time to light it up. It’s going to be epic.”

Some things are so wrong that even some who would never vote for Governor Palin can’t stand quietly by as they occur. Nothing led the MSM to these emails. There was no hint of scandal, no tip about corruption. This was an unprecedented fishing expedition launched by the same liars who just last month were writing about Palin’s irrelevancy. Their sinister goal had nothing to do with news, the goal was only to find something to embarrass the Governor, create the scent of scandal and, of course, conclude their craven mission to destroy her by any disgusting means necessary.

—–

Up till now, what we’ve learned from these 24,000 emails is only what we already knew: Palin was an effective and engaged Chief Executive of her State and that there are black holes that don’t suck as hard as the MSM.

We also know that Palin didn’t squander a trillion dollars to create zero jobs; didn’t spend twenty years in a racist church led by a divisive demagogue eager to see God damn America; never referred to Americans as bitter clingers; did not launch her career in the living room of a domestic terrorist; has never apologized for America; did not stand idly by as the price of a gallon of gasoline nearly tripled on her watch; never sold out Israel, bankrupted her country, bowled like a Community Organizer, or voted present.

The corrupt MSM will do everything they can to ensure 2012 is not a referendum on the failed president they call Their Precious One — and this email frenzy was just another part of that plan.  But if  the last couple of weeks have taught us anything….

…it’s that New Media might just be ready to enter Thunderdome 2012.

We’ve just received word that negotiations have concluded, marking That ’70s Show co-star Ashton Kutcher’s return to television after a brief movie career. He is replacing Charlie Sheen in Two And A Half Men. The deal made sense for series producer Warner Bros which already had an overall with Kutcher’s Katalyst production banner. In fact, an hour later, Ashton announced he was joining the show by tweeting to his 6.7 million Twitter followers: “What’s the square root of 625?”

Names like Woody Harrelson, Rob Lowe, John Stamos, and Jeremy Piven circulated in the blogosphere as possible replcements. But until this week, with Deadline’s scoop that the show was in final negotiations with Hugh Grant, there had been nothing concrete going on with any specific actor. Co-creator and executive producer Chuck Lorre only wanted to continue the show “if he can find the right actor and get excited about that,” sources told Deadline. What mattered most to Lorre was that Sheen’s replacement be “somebody Chuck can work with” after butting heads with Charlie for years in a situation that escalated into a very public and nasty feud this spring.

All along insiders at Warner Bros and CBS had been saying that they were going after “an A-lister” as the new star of the top-rated sitcom after Sheen was fired. The feeling was to contract with “an exciting actor who’d never done TV before,” and CBS chief Leslie Moonves especially was encouraging Lorre et al to “swing high”. As one insider told Deadline, “Everybody wants show back and to support Chuck creatively and to do something the advertising community will feel good about. The only issue was whether everyone could get the show up and running and right fast enough to make this fall’s schedule.”

Because Kutcher is both a producer as well as an actor, he has a good reputation as a responsible showbiz professional. Sure, the producers’ top choice, Hugh Grant, would have been a swing for the fences — a real coup that could have bought the aging comedy series another 3 or 4 seasons on the air. By contrast, Ashton, whose movie career went from warm to ice cold in just a few years, is a solid base hit.

Full article here.

It is good to know, though, that someone in Hollywood opposes children being forced into sex slavery. Love to hear their thoughts on ACORN, wouldn’t you? And what about Roman Polanski? Do real men forcibly rape thirteen year-old girls in Jack Nicholson’s hot tub?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Thought so.

—–

—–

Hollie McKay at Fox News:

Demi Moore, husband Ashton Kutcher and their self-titled the Demi and Ashton Foundation (DNA), which seeks to combat the sexual exploitation and slavery of minors, have come under fire this week over a campaign many consider to be inappropriately light and fluffy given the severity of the issue.

The Hollywood power couple enlisted an array of their A and B-list friends (including Sean Penn, Jessica Biel, Eva Longoria and Justin Timberlake) for a public service campaign which consists of several short videos featuring the slogan “Real Men Don’t Buy Girls.”

In one spot, Sean Penn proves that “real men know how to use an iron,” by ironing his sandwich before eating it. Justin Timberlake exemplifies that “real men know how to shave” by taking to his facial hair with an electric chainsaw. Bradley Cooper shows that “real men know how to make a meal” by pouring milk into a cereal box and eating it with a giant spoon. 

Not everyone is amused.

“This is what happens when celebrities do an issue divorced from the movement. Once you chose an issue and don’t do it in collaboration with people who have been doing this for a long time, this is what you end up with,” Norma Ramos, Executive Director of the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women told FOX411.com. “There is a general dumbing down that is going on and this is an example of dumbing down a social justice movement with the narrowest message possible.” 

Full story here.

The story begins by introducing us to two young people named Adam and Emma who are at camp together. After a brief and unfunny scene where Adam asks to do a sexual act with Emma, the story flashes ahead a couple for years. After another dead-end scene, the story flashes forward again showing us the other early meetings between the duo. The story finally settles on the couple at an older age, where they are played by Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman.

—–

Adam is a regular single guy who has recently gotten over a break-up with his ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately, she continues to be a part of his life when he discovers that she’s dating his father Alvin (Kevin Kline). Alvin is an airhead Hollywood actor who doesn’t understand why his son would have issues with his new girlfriend.  Like the caricature of actors often portrayed in films and television shows, Alvin is beloved by his fans but despised by his own child. If given strong material, Kline could have earned a few laughs in his role as a childish and immature parent. Instead, the role is thankless and unfunny.  

In the Alvin scenes and in many other ones, the story’s humor stems from raunchy jokes and sexual punchlines. From jokes about sex to women’s periods to lesbians, this story features dozens of punch lines that just don’t work. From its start “No Strings” is more interested in sex than in its characters and it shows in the relationship between Alex and Emma.  

The romance that eventually starts between the two never feels real. Adam begins developing feelings for Emma but the two characters never really connect. Even as they start formally dating, the chemistry doesn’t exist between Kutcher and Portman and neither character is interesting to watch. The dialogue during their ” romance” is often unbelievable and at times, it is downright atrocious.  

For good measure, the story also throws in the typical romantic comedy subplots that stand in the couple’s way. One of Emma’s colleagues develops feelings for her and confronts Adam about it. He knows that Emma and Adam are fooling around but believes that she will end up with him. Alex, on the other hand, finds a girl who likes him as well, further complicating his relationship with Emma.

Ultimately, “No Strings Attached” relies on cliches and unfunny sexual jokes. The story has none of the chemistry or idealism of other romantic comedies. “No Strings Attached” is a completely forgettable entry in this genre. Its plot should only remind viewers how good movies like “When Harry Met Sally” are.  That movie was both romantic and very funny. “Attached” is neither and should be ignored.

Of course, it was probably never really that simple. And man, how times have changed, with women calling the shots just as often as guys and one-night stands and cohabitation enabling more and more people to delay settling down until later and later in their lives.

—–

But the new romantic comedy “No Strings Attached” takes a look at one other phenomenon of our sex-saturated society: the concept of friends with benefits, in which a man and woman try to eschew all romantic connections and obligations and instead try to just be friends who happen to hook up together. And because it’s a romantic comedy, it tries to ask if it’s really possible to have that arrangement without falling in love.

Following the friendship of Adam (Ashton Kutcher) and Emma (Natalie Portman)from their first awkward meeting as young teens at summer camp through their late 20s, “Strings” starts off with a fun and energetic zip and tangy dialogue before devolving into a pat and predictable second half. Adam works as a writers’ assistant on a “Glee”-style TV show, while Emma is a doctor who lives with a couple of other doctor friends.

When Adam awakens naked and groggy on the womens’ couch after meeting Emma for a night of too much drinking, he can’t figure out who he might have slept with. But just when he figures out that nothing happened with anyone, his private conversation with Emma in her room winds up crossing exactly that line – and she wants to keep the relationship of fun sex with no emotional attachments.
This might seem like a dream situation for a horny guy like Adam, but he’s grown up as the son of a playboy TV sitcom star (Kevin Kline) and knows that he doesn’t want to follow in his dad’s pathetically shallow footsteps. As he starts to fall for Emma, he and the audience have to come to terms with a sad secret from her past.

“Strings” has a lot of sexual humor and numerous energetic hookups in the early part of the film, although they are mostly shown quickly in montage and with no nudity from Portman and with Kutcher’s naked derriere only on display in the aforementioned hangover scene.

(MILD SPOILER ALERT)

Buried under the predictable tedium of its second half, it ultimately has a fairly traditional message about it all, which is something it oddly shares with its obvious forebear “Sex and the City,” which asked some of the same questions: can a woman act like a stereotypical, emotionally unattached guy – and can they manage to have good sex without falling in love? In both cases, the characters realize that you can’t, which is something people with traditional values know already.

Kutcher and Portman are perfectly cast in their roles, as he continues his string of goofily appealing guy roles and she displays a fun sexiness that has been thus far lacking in her screen persona. First-time screenwriter Elizabeth Meriwether also creates an assortment of fun supporting roles that are well-played, particularly by Lake Bell as a fellow writers’ assistant on Adam’s sitcom.

Director Ivan Reitman (“Ghostbusters,” “Stripes,” “Twins”) does his best work since the mid-‘90s, tackling a romantic comedy for the first time in his career and breaking a distressing string of failed sci-fi comedies like “Evolution” and “My Super Ex-Girlfriend” that relied more on special effects than solid writing. But as Adam and Emma’s relationship gets more complicated, he and Meriwether fall off the rails as the film just can’t sustain its raunchy charms.

There’s simply not enough at stake here to keep audiences invested in their relationship with these characters. Ultimately, “No Strings Attached” falls victim to a problem that probably besets too many friends with benefits: if you can’t care about where things go, you have to ask yourself why bother at all?

6.  “Being exploited is different from being empowered ” – Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Often too-easily dismissed as a raunchy teen sex comedy, Fast Time was a tremendously influential and important mirror on young America in the early 1980s.  The fact that it is gut-bustlingly funny – Sean Penn’s turn as surfer/stoner Jeff Spicoli remains his only role where he doesn’t annoy me – seems to overshadow the serious undercurrents, as does the ample nudity culminating in the unforgettable swimming pool scene starring the glorious Phoebe Cates.

—–

However, there is a very, very dark undercurrent to this movie that provides a serious lesson to young people.  Jennifer Jason-Leigh’s Stacy is a pretty but not-so-bright 15/16 year old who does not understand the difference between love and sex.  In a world of absolutely no parents (not a single one is ever seen), she tries to find love (or at least attention) by basically trying to have tacky sex with every guy she meets – and it’s heartbreaking.  She’s not “empowered” – she’s used.  The ugly scene where she loses her virginity to a guy in his 20s in a Little League dug-out staring at graffiti reading “Surf Nazis Must Die” is a better repudiation of the “hook-up” culture than a hundred lectures.

After scaring off the one guy who actually likes her for herself by trying to bed him too, she seeks comfort underneath his skanky pal.  A grim, humiliating encounter in a pool house leaves her pregnant and she immediately seeks an abortion.  Regardless of one’s stand on the life issue, one cannot be anything other than horrified at how the fact she sees herself as literally nothing but a mere receptacle leads her to feel nothing at all about her decision.

But there is hope.  The film ends with her finally back with the boy who actually loves her, and a final title card assures us that they remain together and “still haven’t gone all the way yet.”

7.   “You make your destiny” — The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)

Liberal filmmakers would have you believe that you are nothing but a victim of forces you cannot control, and that without their help you have no future.  That is especially true for minorities, who liberal ideology requires be told again and again that without the help of their liberal masters they can never succeed.  But, of course, liberalism never leads to success, only to a few more scraps in the form of entitlements offered in exchange for perpetual ballot box fealty to the elite overlords.

The Pursuit of Happyness drives a Mac truck through that loser paradigm.  Will Smith is the lead in the true story of a man who hits bottom but simply will not quit.  Believing in himself, working his butt off, taking risks and – shock! – out-performing the competition, he goes from homeless to capitalist success story.

He doesn’t look for handouts.  He doesn’t sit back waiting for his the liberal overlords to decide what he gets.  He embraces the challenge of the free market and through sheer dedication makes himself a winner.  He makes his own destiny; he doesn’t wait to be told what it can or will be.

As such, Pursuit may well be the one of the most subversive films of the last decade.

8.  “Character is what you do when the stakes are the highest” – Bolt (2008)

This terrific Disney cartoon about a TV star dog who thought he was the superhero he plays on television then finds himself separated from the little girl who owns him makes a huge point about character.  It comes up most clearly at the end, where his little girl is trapped on a burning soundstage.  The dog who had replaced Bolt runs away, leaving her in the fire.  But Bolt, though he now knows he is just a normal hound, goes back in anyway.

Character isn’t something that you wear like a medal.  It’s what you do when the chips are down, when all hell is breaking lose, when everyone else is running away.

The message of Bolt is a powerful statement that is especially applicable to young people.  My little girl saw Bolt as a good dog who would not leave his girl behind and understood why that mattered; her dad thought of his own heroes who would not leave those they swore to protect no matter what the cost.

And when young people are a little older, they’ll be ready for the similar messages of Black Hawk Down – “It’s what you do right now that makes a difference” and “Leave no man behind.”  (BHD also teaches the vital lesson that there is no substitute for the firepower of heavy armor and artillery.)  But Bolt is a great foundation  for learning about character – as well as a great movie.

9.  “The west is worth defending” – 300 (2006)

If you enjoy lame liberal flicks that spend most of their time apologizing for our Western culture, you’ll probably want to miss 300.  I’m sure there will be plenty of seats available for the revival of Lions for Lambs down at the Nuart.

But if you unapologetically support the victory of the West in our current war against jihadi barbarism and its related pathologies, you might dig 300.  It makes no excuses about the superiority of our culture and our freedoms, which is why liberals hate it.

300 is the highly stylized story of the small Spartan contingent that fought a legendary delaying action at a narrow pass called Thermopylae in northern Greece that allowed the rest of the Greeks to prepare to meet the Persian horde and their self-styled demigod king. They were slaughtered to a man, but succeeded in their mission.

The beauty of 300 is the fearlessness with which the filmmakers tell the truth – though it is unclear if they intended to make that statement, make it they do.  While imperfect, the Greeks as portrayed in the film embody the Western values of individual freedom while the Persian hordes are mere faceless slaves.  The Greeks stand and fight because they are free men who choose to do so; the Persian soldiers fight with whips at their backs, mere cannon fodder for a tyrant’s ambition.

Nothing has changed in the last couple thousand years.

It’s almost shocking to see a major Hollywood film make clear that our way of life is unequivocally worth defending, and death in battle against tyranny is infinitely preferable to “life” as a slave.  When folks get all wrapped up about “creeping sharia” I usually mention that it doesn’t worry us American soldiers because we would never be alive to see it happen; we’d all be lying dead surrounded by empty magazines, spent shell casings, and the bodies of our enemies.  If you don’t understand that perspective, you might want to skip 300.  You might also want try and see if your doctor can help you out with a spine transplant.

10.  “Your personal happiness is not the most important thing in the world” – Casablanca (1942)

Besides being arguably the greatest movie ever made, Casablanca also teaches one of conservatism’s most important lessons.  The usual Hollywood pap tells you that your personal short term desires are your only guide; just look at the unspeakable moral disaster that is The English Patient.  While conservatism is about individual liberty, with liberty comes the responsibility to occasionally put your own needs aside when duty calls.

Hollywood’s moral compass was not always broken.  In Casablanca, Rick throws away his chance for happiness with Ilsa in order to help defeat the Nazis.  Watch this classic scene – probably Hollywood’s finest hour both artistically and morally:

Here’s the key quote.  Try imagining it coming out of the word processor of one of the pampered, over-paid Ivy League twerps churning out scripts today:

Rick:  We’ll always have Paris. We didn’t have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.
Ilsa:  When I said I would never leave you.
Rick:  And you never will. But I’ve got a job to do, too. Where I’m going, you can’t follow. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of. Ilsa, I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you’ll understand that.

Let’s assume there is still a director out there who would allow that many lines of dialogue in a row without a shaky camera jump cut.  Even then, we’d still get Victor Laszlo as an uptight, probably Christian, creep with the unreasonable expectation that his wife not start banging another man just because she finds him sexy.  Instead of sending her away, Rick would probably tell off Mr. Jesus J. Stickuphisrear, then he and Ilsa would jump on the plane together.  Let other people deal with the Nazis – inconveniences like honor and duty just get in the way of validating one’s own feelings!  Plus, they’d probably cast Ashton Kutcher as Rick and Katherine Heigl as Ilsa.  And switch the location to Vegas.  And change the Nazis into CIA agents.  And make Sam into a streetwise hustler played by 50 Cent, who could also do a hip-hop version of As Time Goes By that somehow incorporates the phrase “my bitches.”

No, the fact is that sometimes your problems don’t amount to a hill of beans, that you have to make hard choices and do the right thing even where – gasp! – it might make you feel bad.  Casablanca is easy to take because of great actors, a great script, and a great story, but its message is strong medicine.  And, as we enter a second decade of (open) warfare for our civilization’s survival, it could not be timelier.

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Again, this list is by no means complete, but it is evidence that within our popular culture there is the capacity for art to make powerful conservative statements.  After all, that is the whole point of Big Hollywood.  We cannot just leave our culture to the left – we know where that leads.  Instead, we need to identify and support positive popular culture, to demand it instead of accepting whatever crap the Hollywood elite tries to force down our throats.  And we need to fight back by calling out and mocking mercilessly the lefty nonsense offered to us by the Hollywoodoids, so coming soon:  “The Top 10 Idiotic Leftist Movie Messages.”

And it turns out that, try as I might, I cannot present a list of vital movies messages without citing Heat.  So here’s on key one that’s helped guide me in my daily life:  “It always helps to use intensive, controlled automatic weapons fire, along with rapid maneuver, to defeat your enemies.”  That’s truly a message we can all relate to.

—–

And many conservatives have.  Many of us have thrown our hands in the air and opted out of popular culture completely, exhausted from enduring liberal sucker punches buried within crummy flicks about magic robots battling Dick Cheney vampire clones that we pay $12.50 to see in theaters maintained at the hygiene level of your average bus station men’s room.  You can hardly blame them for giving up.

But as tempting as it is to withdraw from the battlefield, to dig in and hope it somehow changes, surrender was never an option.  This is our culture, not theirs.  And they don’t get to control it. 

The fact is that among the detritus of American popular culture, there are voices of sanity.  Sure, they are nearly drowned out by over-praised hacks like Aaron Sorkin and over-indulged clowns like Oliver Stone.  Yet, occasionally, Hollywood has allowed positive, conservative messages to slip through.

Sure, some of them are from long ago, but we have never forgotten them.  In fact, we have embraced them and treasured them, a powerful demonstration of the fact that good commonsense messages can also be commercially viable.  Some of them are more recent as well, teachers of vital lessons that somehow the guard dogs of liberal culture missed.

The following list is by no means complete – the commenters will no doubt offer hordes of other worthies between their observations about how I am insane and/or stupid.  It is simply these ten solid conservative messages that I have found particularly meaningful – however, please note that Heat has earned emeritus status and is not found on the list.

So, in no particular order:

1.  “Evil must be confronted and defeated” – Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

This magnificent three-part epic illustrates several great conservative lessons through the tale of Frodo, a gentle hobbit who finds himself the only hope for the world of free peoples as a wicked tyranny arises.  The various nations and races of free creatures are disorganized and confused, with some thinking they can simply hide or wait out the terror.  But J.R.R. Tolkien, who fought in the miserable trenches of the First World War and later watched the rise of Hitler, understood that there is no sanctuary from aggressive evil.  His characters, at a terrible cost, choose to march out and meet the enemy.

Of particular note is the frivolous, care-free land from which Frodo hails, the Shire, a green and pleasant realm that considers itself far from danger and immune to evil.  But, as blogger Kellie Jane Adan recently discussed, Frodo had the wisdom to see what his happy countrymen could not or would not – that the enemies of freedom will not just go away if you ignore them.  Even those who get eaten last still get eaten in the end.  The peril of freedom is that it can lead a people to forget that it comes with a price tag, and that the price is sometimes payable in blood.

It does not take a genius to see the parallels between The Lord of the Rings and the real world of Tolkien’s time, nor the parallels to our world of today.  The jihadi movement and the rogue crime syndicates masquerading as nations such as Iran, North Korea, and Venezuela make no secret of their intentions.  Still, the Western elites remain willfully blind, looking inward and caring only about their own petty personal interests.  The Lord of the Rings is a powerful rejoinder to that foolishness, and one every parent should ensure their children see and understand.

2.   “Leaders lead by example” — We Were Soldiers (2002)

America’s bookstores are filled with tedious management tomes written by college professors and CEOs, but while many of their books’ titles contain the word “Leadership,” comparing their tepid version of management to true leadership is like comparing Justin Bieber to AC/DC in terms of rocking.  If you want to learn something about what leaders do – and can put aside Mel Gibson’s personal character failures – pop in a DVD of We Were Soldiers.

A bloody and harrowing account of the ferocious 1965 Battle of Ia Drang, Gibson’s (then) Lieutenant Colonel Hal Moore is the quintessential United States Army officer, the first off the chopper during the air assault and always in the thick of the fight.

Watch as Gibson surveys and assesses the situation, makes his tough decision to call in dangerous close-in air support, and then joins in the fight alongside his troopers.  Playing a cavalry battalion commander – a job I held, though not while deployed – Gibson is everywhere on the battlefield, encouraging his men, controlling the fight and most importantly (when all hell breaks loose) staying calm.

And it’s an accurate portrayal, not only because the battle tracks the fight depicted in Lieutenant General (Retired) Moore’s superb book.  I actually saw LTG Moore speak at Fort Benning during my Infantry Officer Advanced Course in 1994.  Gibson may be a creep in his personal life, but he did LTG Moore right in the film.  And do not forget Sam Elliot’s awesome portrayal of Command Sergeant Major Basil Plumley – a commander is only as good as his NCOs.

We Were Soldiers demonstrates that a leader isn’t some guy at a desk at the other end of a phone line filling out paperwork.  Leaders lead.  Period.

3.  “The only colors that matter in America are red, white, and blue” – Glory (1989)

Liberals talk a good game about diversity.  But more than any other institution in America, the military lives it.  Once again, We Were Soldiers sums that up:

But that was not always true.  During the Civil War, freed blacks had to fight for their right to fight.  Glory tells the story of those incredible America soldiers and the white officers appointed to lead them.  The conservative lesson is clear – nonsense like color makes no difference; character is everything.  The 54^th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry proved its bravery in battle, not thanks to some quota or by some special dispensation by liberals who deep down think no one else can prosper without their help.  They did it themselves:

Colonel Shaw, the white commander of the 54^th was killed during the storming of Fort Wagner.  According to legend, the Confederates refused to return his body, instead burying him with his black troops.  They thought it was an insult.  In fact, there could be no higher honor for an American officer.

Glory teaches the essential conservative truth that honor, courage, and patriotism are not the province of any one race.  Now, it’s entirely possible that the makers of Glory, like the makers of some of these other films, did not think they were sending a conservative message at all.  If so, they are wrong.  Race means nothing to conservatives, but it means everything to liberals.

Keep in mind that liberals customarily assign any wrongdoing in the past to “conservatives,” as if today’s Tea Party would re-impose child labor and slavery if it had its Neanderthal druthers.  Don’t buy that nonsense.  The next time some liberal starts yapping about racism, just ask him which party, in 2010, hailed as an “icon” a KKK Kleagle and Exalted Cyclops, one who incidentally wrote these hideous words:

I shall never fight in the armed forces with a Negro by my side…Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds.

Hint:  Senator Icon was not a Republican (or a soldier, for that matter).

4.  “You are the check on the power of the state” — Twelve Angry Men (1957)

Set inside a jury room during a murder deliberation, a dozen jurors (played by a who’s who of great old-time stars and character actors) start off eager to convict the young defendant and go home.  However, Henry Fonda refuses to be railroaded and forces the others to confront their apathy, personal issues, and racial prejudices.

Another movie that probably thinks it is liberal, Twelve Angry Men appears to believe it is an indictment of pure prejudice.  However, what it really is is a conservative critique of the power of the state and what happens when citizens allow their own interests and biases to cause them to abdicate their responsibility to doubt their government and challenge it.

If the defendant is convicted, he will be executed – there is no greater example of the power of the state.  But as these citizens pick at the government’s case they find flaws and inconsistencies.  The government is not perfect or omniscient – far from it.  The state is as flawed as human beings themselves, and the answer is not to meekly submit to its power but to stand up to it, to limit its powers and to make it justify every exercise of authority.  That’s not anarchy or “hatred of government,” as liberals label any attempt by conservatives to rein in the leviathan – rather, that is the conservative notion that a government of men will be as imperfect as man itself.  Every citizen has an absolute duty to ensure it never slips out of control – even where he’s outnumbered by 11-1 by those who find it easier to conform.

5.  “True capitalists make America great” – It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

Brought to the screen just a few years after the Depression ended, IAWL is not an indictment of free enterprise but, rather, a celebration of it.  Some quarter-wit progressives – yeah, I’m looking at you again Aaron Sorkin – think this classic Frank Capra slice of Americana makes Old Man Potter into a capitalist poster child.  More nonsense.  The track record of the policies progressives espouse being unblemished with anything like success, their opinions about this and everything else should be summarily disregarded.

In fact, Potter is only a “capitalist” in the way that Chrysler, General Motors, and AIG are “capitalist” enterprises – he’s the face of a conglomerate tied in with the government (remember how he offers to send the police over to “help” during the panic?) and with other big businesses (remember how he takes over the town bank?).  He is the power structure; the form he takes is “capitalist” only when it suits him.

Potter is not merely about money but about control over others and their lives – and like the liberals we deal with today (including the ones who make most movies), he has nothing but contempt for regular people. Throw in the word “transfats” or “guns” and Potter might as well be zillionaire Michael Bloomberg decrying the refusal of the masses to conform to his personal vision of how they ought to live their lives.

If alive today, Potter would find himself welcomed to the table with his liberal Democratic co-believers, pausing from making more mischief only to welcome their newest lobbyist, former Senator Chris Dodd.

Jimmy Stewart’s George Bailey is the true capitalist, working hard at the Building & Loan his father started not only to support himself and his family but to help his community.  He doesn’t ask for (or give) handouts.  His pride comes not from making money (though he apparently does okay, which is cool) but by being the guy responsible for helping so many hardworking Americans earn homes. That’s not unusual – when I talk about my business, I talk not about my AGI but about how many people I employ.  In fact, the whole point of the movie is that Bedford Falls is a better place because of George Bailey – and, by extension, the country is better because of similar true capitalists.

IAWL is a warning about how self-styled elitists will use every lever of power at their disposal – big business, big government, or whatever – in order to control the lives of others.  Old Man Potter no more represents capitalism than Aaron Sorkin represents sobriety.  As IAWL teaches, we need to be on our guard and in the faces of these creepy petty fascists every single minute of every day.

Stay tuned for Part II.