In a depressingly bright and clinical bank, Chistine’s up for promotion to assistant manager and sees the opportunity to show her manipulative boss (The Great David Paymer) she’s got management chops when a grotesque old woman comes in to ask for a third extension on her mortgage. It’s only after Christine evicts her that she discovers the crone’s as batty as she looks and twice as vengeful.

Vengeance arrives in a parking garage, but a vicious beating isn’t enough to satisfy the old woman. She lays a curse on Christine that means plenty of disturbing and violent visions to come.

With the help of her sympathetic boyfriend (Justin Long) and a street corner fortune teller, Christine gets some bad news. It seems that her decision to toss an old woman out on the street for a rung up on the corporate ladder resulted in more than the figurative selling of her soul, it’s literally in danger and throwing off an ancient curse won’t be easy. But try Christine does and animals beware.

Raimi’s good with this kind of material and uses his camera and edits well to create suspense where none would exist in lesser hands. But the screenplay, co-written with his brother Ivan, just isn’t very good. Nothing much happens and when it does no amount of directorial flourish can lift the material above its Made-for-TV feel. Even the cinematography looks Lifetime Movie-ish.  

Like her director, Lohman’s better than the material and much more compelling to watch than a plot that has less going on than most thirty-minute “Twilight Zone” episodes. An episodic, choppy feel slowly takes over the narrative when story threads, such as Christine’s work situation and a tense relationship with her boyfriend’s parents that were made to seem important, suddenly vanish without so much as a nevermind. Same with the film’s one truly intriguing idea, Christine having to choose who to send to Hell in her place. 

With very few scares, almost no tension and a PG-13 rating, attempts at horror can only come from that which is disgusting. Someone always seems to be vomiting something, there’s one helluva nosebleed and a housefly with an unhealthy curiosity. Nausea you might feel … suspense, dread and tension, not so much.

After 90-minutes or so, the last ten do kick in and end on a surprising note, but to say I didn’t walk in excited and leave disappointed would be an understatement. There’s little to distinguish “Drag Me to Hell” from every other slap-dash horror film made on the cheap and dropped in 2500 theatres to make back its money before word of mouth kills it off.

I expected more from Raimi.