I bet that headline got your attention!  But, as you’ll see a little later in this post, the scene in question is not really a “rape” at all.  But that didn’t keep the NY Daily News from running this headline yesterday:

‘Bye Bye Birdie’ revival on Broadway drops scene for ‘gang rape’ concern

“Just a copy editor trying to get attention by over-exaggerating a story,” you think?  That’s what I thought, too.  But here is the story with Gina Gershon’s quote:

According to Gina Gershon, who stars as Rose in the upcoming revival, the production has said bye bye to a frisky dance sequence that has been in the show since its debut in 1960.  In the scene, Rose, originated on stage by Chita Rivera and on film by Janet Leigh, crashes a Shriners banquet, flirts and cavorts on, around and underneath a table with the fez-heads.  As written, it’s a funny dance showcase. So why is it too hot to handle in 2009? Gershon told The News’ theater critic Joe Dziemianowicz, “It seemed a little too gang rape-y.”

The Daily News takes the words right out of my mouth when it says:

That should come as interesting news to countless high schools, parochial academies and theater camps where this number has been performed for nearly 50 years.

Before I give you my guess as to what is really going on here, I will let you judge for yourself.  Here is Chita Rivera performing Gower Champion’s original Broadway choreography:

It’s not my favorite scene from a 60’s musical, but I don’t think it could be objectively described as a “Gang Rape”… unless you mean that the character of Rose is raping the gang of Shriners!!!

So, what is this REALLY all about?  Here is my hunch:

Whenever a Hollywood star is cast to do a Broadway musical, the first question everyone asks is:  ”Can he/she sing?”  In the cases of Glenn Close and Hugh Jackman, the answer was “YES!”  In the case of Faye Dunaway, the answer was “Oh God, NO!”

But, in the case of Rose in “Bye, Bye Birdie,” the relevant question is not whether Gershon can sing, because Rose’s songs are not very challenging… no, what defines the role of Rose is following in the footsteps of Chita Rivera and living up to the distant memory of her dancing.  Rivera is a Broadway legend who enjoys a reputation of holding an audience captivated with her body and how she moved it.  So, the big question in relation to Gershon being announced as Rose in this revival was not “Can she sing?”; it was “Can she dance?”

Now, I try my best not to be too snarky or catty in my posts.  And I’ve already noted this revival as something I am personally looking forward to…  but, based on this little kerfuffle over cutting this dance sequence and the really lame excuse (“gang rape-y”?  come on!), I think it is fair to say that the answer is, “No, she can’t dance.. at least not well enough to hold the stage for a dance sequence like this.”

As we’ve all seen on “Dancing With the Stars,” if you are paired with a great dancer, you can learn enough and practice enough to be a good enough partner to look like you can dance.  But when you are alone on stage dancing without a partner as Rose is in this number… well, that is something you can’t fake.  And to me, this sounds like a good director and a good choreographer protecting their star and coming up with a press agent’s excuse for cutting a number.

Further evidence of this?  The show is set to begin previews on September 15.  This means the show has been in rehearsal for a couple of weeks.  If the producers and director of this show wanted to cut this number for the reason they are stating now, the decision would have been made a while ago.  You have to believe that they tried it out, and it wasn’t working.  (Unless you believe that they only now have realized that the scene is “Gang Rape-y” after spending the time creating the scene, rehearsing the scene, costuming the scene… etc…)

By the way, revivals have recently been subject to political correct revisions.  The most common is the song “I’m an Indian Too” being excised from Irving Berlin’s “Annie Get Your Gun.”  The Native American community (how PC am I???) have found these lyrics from the 1946 play offensive:

Like the Chippewa,
Iroquois,
Omaha…
Like those Indians
I’m an Indian too
A Sioux
A Sioux

Just like Rising Moon
Falling Pants
Running Nose
Like those Indians
I’m an Indian too
A Sioux
A Sioux

Some Indian drummers they’re without a care
I may run away
With Big Chief Sun-of-A-Bear

And I’ll have totem poles
Tomahawk
Small papoose
Which will go to prove
I’m an Indian too
A sioux
A sioux
A sioux
Oh, I’m an indian
I’m an Indian
I’m an honest Injun Indian

I’m an Indian, too.

What has always bugged me about this song being removed is the CONTEXT of the song in the show (context still means SOMETHING, doesn’t it?).  Annie sings it right after Chief Sitting Bull adopts her into the Sioux tribe.  She is honored, proud and happy to be adopted.

Here is rare footage of Mary Martin in the original 1946 production:

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Now, obviously this scene is not meant as a historically accurate depiction of a traditional Sioux ceremony, but is it mean-spirited, insulting, derisive?  Not in my politically incorrect opinion.

So, I guess I’m saying…  Gina, if you can dance it, BRING ON THE GANG RAPE SCENE!

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This is my love letter to Broadway.  Join this theatre nerd on my journey into the wonders and joy of the theatre going experience.

Whether you’re coming from Uptown or Downtown, the Eastside or Westside, as you make your way to the theatre, you get swallowed up into the hustle of Times Square and the atmosphere is electric. The streets fill with an eclectic mix of people bustling to their theatres surrounded by a cacophony of street music, bucket drummers, corner evangelists, vendors, excited chatter, car horns, and the occasional argument by someone who just got taken in a game of three-card monte.

Each theatre holds its own personal history and charm.  The Golden Theatre, one of the smaller Broadway houses seats 800. It opened in 1927 as the Theatre Masque with the flop “Puppets of Passion,” which ran for only 12 performances. In 2003 it became the home to the hugely successful passion of puppets in the Tony Award winning adult musical puppet show “Avenue Q,” which is still playing to packed houses.

The Gershwin Theatre, home to “Wicked, the Musical” is one of the largest theatres, specifically designed for big, extravagant musicals. In 1987 it housed “Starlight Express” and had skaters zooming up and down multi-level ramps and onto an extension built to encompass part of the audience.

The oldest and one of the more elegant theatres is the Lyceum built in 1903 and the newest theatre is the Henry Miller’s Theatre.  The landmarked 1918 facade was kept intact while behind it everything was torn down and rebuilt. Its new incarnation is scheduled to open in September ‘09 with the revival of “Bye, Bye Birdie” with John Stamos and Gena Gershon (“Dancing With the Stars” must have already been booked).  As much as I would love to take you on a tour of the over 100 Broadway and off-Broadway theatres, I won’t, I don’t want to lose you before we get to the really good stuff.

As you enter the theater you are greeted by the front of house personnel: box office staff, ticket takers, and ushers. They are all unique characters as diverse as the actor’s onstage. They are extremely knowledgeable and helpful, and some may have been there since Ethel Merman’s “Annie Get Your Gun” was the hottest ticket in town.

The box office personnel are unbelievably helpful. Not only in their knowledge of where every seat is, but also if you were going to see a particular performer, they know right where to seat you. And contrary to many people’s belief, they do offer you the best seat available. One afternoon I was in mid-town and decided to see a friend of mine who was in “The Producers.” I knew he had been on vacation but wasn’t sure which day he was coming back. Since I didn’t want to spend the money if he wasn’t going to be in the show, when I got to the box office I told them my dilemma and asked if he was back yet. Not only did they tell me he was, but they also told me who wasn’t going to be in the show for that performance, who would be going on vacation, and asked if I wanted to leave him a note.

The ticket takers and ushers are quick to get you in and seated and some are delightfully old school New York, their courteousness is no-nonsense; the faster they get you to your seat, the faster the person behind you gets swiftly served. Once you get your ticket scanned and head to your seat, you pass the bar and the souvenir kiosks. I’ve been in some of the theaters so often I don’t feel the need to view the lovely interiors, so I stealthily advance my way in between the first timers standing, marveling at the gilded plasterwork. While on the way to my aisle, I catch a glimpse of the overpriced magnets and t-shirts and mugs, oh my!

I am SUCH a geek that I could find my own seat blindfolded, but I hit the usher up for my Playbill… ah, the Playbill, my theatre bible, the only tangible souvenir you get for your $100+ ticket… I show the usher my ticket and head straight to my seat.  I like to get to the theatre a little early to read the bios and to see if there’s a former client, student or past cast mate or techie I may know. And at Tony time, you get a separate, special edition Tony Award Playbill, complete with a scorecard, and pictures and bios of every nominee. This often has sparked fun conversations and heated debates with the strangers in my row. Yes, I told you… I am a GEEK!

As the house lights dim and the curtain rises to reveal the set, the audience reaction is audible with gasps of breathtaking awe. It can be the stark, stalled subway car, or the fantasy world beyond the yellow brick road.

Sometimes the set is far too grand to hide behind a curtain. When you walked down the aisle to your seat for the play “Lips Together Teeth Apart” you saw a “house that floats on a breeze-swept landscape of dunes and is equipped with a glorious expanse of blond-wood deck, a kitchen bespeaking the tyranny of shelter magazines and, reaching toward the audience’s lap, a swimming pool whose crystalline blue is pure Hockney.” You felt more like an invited guest to that 4^th of July party rather than getting ready to watch a play.

You may not notice the intricate lighting, but it contributes to the shifting moods and enhances the visual storytelling and is exquisite!  With the beauty and mastery of the sets, lighting and costuming, you are transported into the playwright’s mind.

Whether I see a straight show or a musical, I go to be engaged by the actors portraying the characters before me. I want to become emotionally involved, to be moved, to feel. I expect the actors to work their seemingly effortless skills and extreme talents to take me to the world beyond the proscenium.  Whether it’s the emotional drain watching the dysfunction of the Tyrone family in “Long Day’s Journey into Night,” or the irresistible laughter at the bloody and brutal “The Lieutenant of Inishmore,” I am rarely disappointed.

Watching a singer or dancer whether in the chorus or lead, you are watching years of discipline, perseverance, sacrifice, blood, sweat, and tears, happiness, and rejection. For every performer on Broadway there is a wonderfully unique back-story of how they got there, adding depth and texture to that story with each acting and dance class, singing lesson, audition and show they are cast in.

Some stories find future Broadway performers once sleeping on friends’ floors or a park bench or the dance studio waiting room, just to afford a dance class or headshots.  After years of bit parts and hoofing it in the chorus they give it one last audition before calling it quits, finding they landed the part of a lifetime. And many times that last audition is just that. Then it’s a move back home to open a dance studio or volunteer in their local Community Theater. Maybe, during a pre-Broadway run out of town, the understudy replaces a lead performer, the show goes to Broadway and that former understudy wins a Tony. This is Sutton Foster’s story. I was Sutton’s agent when she was a teenager and she was one of the few young actors I had complete confidence in and could cast in anything without an audition. After the job, the producer would always call with a glowing report.  A tremendously talented professional, even at 14.

A life in the theatre is a tough career, no show lasts forever and the Broadway performer does not get the acclaim of TV actors or Hollywood movie stars–and nobody’s getting rich.  But for most Broadway folks, it’s an honor and privilege to be working on Broadway.  Performing and working in the theatre is in their blood and the stage is their home.

For me, seeing a Broadway show with the original cast is as close to theatrical perfection as you can get. It’s the search that took place for the perfect package: a good actor, singer and dancer, the right look, chemistry with the material, and something that particular performer brought to their audition that the casting people didn’t even know they were looking for. Sometimes they know whom they want and it’s simply a call to the agent or manager, sometimes it seems like an endless search.

In a musical, the dancers and singers are as diverse as New York City itself and each is extraordinary in their discipline. The dancers will wow you with their incredible agility and grace, personality, and charisma as they push themselves and their bodies to amazing feats carrying the storyline along with unspoken passion.

In just a few measures the singer will engage and touch you deeply.  A good singer will bring that knot to your throat and get tears streaming down your cheeks or make you disgusted and creeped out. In “Blood Brothers” a mother stands over her slain twin sons and with heartbreaking disbelief she pleads in song for this not to be true. In “Sweeney Todd” Judge Turpin sings of his guilt-ridden lust as the ward he raised as his daughter comes of age and he intends to marry her. In contrast, the singers can bring belly laughs where your face and stomach hurt from laughing so hard as you watch profane, sexually active puppets singing and interacting with humans in a non-PC world. “WARNING: FULL PUPPET NUDITY” in “Avenue Q.”

At the end of “Mary Poppins” there’s a great theatre moment: **spoiler alert** While the ensemble is singing this beautiful, touching song amidst the starlit night, complete with shooting stars, Mary Poppins, with her trademark heels together and toes pointed horizon to horizon, slowly starts ascending from the stage out over the audience–main floor, mezzanine, balcony, and beyond. A friend of mine and I were sitting front row mezzanine and between the emotion of the last number, the spectacle, joy and sweetness of the show and watching Mary Poppins FLYING, I was nine-years-old again and happily, tearfully in the moment. Just as Mary was coming nearer and nearer in front of us, my friend elbows me repeatedly and commands, “look at me, I’m crying, oh my gosh, I can’t believe it, I’m crying!”  Are you kidding me!  I was completely taken out of the moment. From then on, I decided even if I go to the theatre with a friend, I’m sitting alone!

I hope you enjoyed the journey.  The Tonys air June 7th on CBS @ 8pm. Tune in and see the class and heart of Broadway’s finest (excepting Jane Fonda and Susan Sarandon). I have my scorecard and I’ll be rooting for my favorites with the passion of a sports fan!