Announcer

Live! From the fabulous Turtle Bay Ballroom at United Nations Headquarters, it’s the Rat Pack of Evil All-Star International Celebrity Roast of President Barack Obama!

(orchestra fanfare: ‘Make ‘Em Laugh’)

With Pyongyang funnyman Kim Jong-Il! Borscht Belt headliner Vlady Putin! Queen of Mean Liz Windsor! Saudi Sheik of Schtick King Abdullah! Beijing jokeslinger Hu Jintao! Wacky al Qaeda Caveman Ayman al-Zawahiri! Nick ‘the Knife’ Sarkozy! Sassy Wanda Sykes! South-of-the-border slapstick team Hugo Chavez and the Castro Brothers! Taliban Madman Mullah Omar! Jon Stewart! Lovable Libyan lush Muammar al-Ghadaffi! Grovelin’ Guvner Gordy Brown! Bashar “The Chin” al-Assad! The Hamas Fattah Dancers! And starring your Master of Ceremonies — that suntan man with a plan from Iran — that Persian with a nuclear perversion — Sheckyyyyyy Ahmedinejad!

(applause)

Shecky Ahmedinejad

Okay, okay, pipe down. Let’s get this thing over with, this straitjacket is a rental and my magic carpet is double-parked on East 43rd. Mohamed H. Prophet, will you get a load of the evil on the stage tonight? I haven’t seen this many bombs since Janeane Garofalo played the American Legion convention.

(Zawahiri spit-take)

At least there aren’t any Zionist. Hey, wait a minute – there’s Jon Stewart! Oy vey, who let the Jew in? This is a comedy event, for Allah’s sake. Hey Jon, do you know what I have in common with Taco Bell? We’re both gonna give you the gas.

(Jon Stewart mugs Macaulay Culkin ‘Home Alone’ face)

But, hey, enough about these losers. Let’s talk about the man we’re all here to honor tonight: my pal, Barack Obama.

(applause)

What a mensch this guy is. Total sweetheart. As soon as he was elected, he told me he would come to the negotiating table without preconditions. You know what ‘preconditions’ are? That’s Persian for ‘balls.’ Barack, one look at the stars on the stage proves you still have a knack for community organizing. You’ve brought the entire evil community together, in the spirit of international dialog, to ask you one simple question: how does our ass taste?

(rimshot)

But not everybody has a sense of humor. When I was planning this roast, I sent invitations to every bigshot infidel TV comic in Satanland, but they all turned me down. Was it my holocaust one-liners? My ballistic missile schtick? Nope. These douchebags said they couldn’t think of anything funny about Barack Obama. Not a single thing.

(scattered groans, boos)

Yeah, exactly. I mean what the fuck? Maybe I should get my SAG card, because, come on, this clueless pussy is the biggest gift to international insult comedy since Neville Chamberlain. Holy dung, when we heard the infidels elected him, I almost had to shut down my nuke program. My scientists were laughing so hard they kicked over half of our centrifuges!

(Ghadaffi sprays tea on Assad )

But, no-o-o, all these professional comedy dipshits keep telling me Professor Urkel over here is some sort of infidel sacred joke cow. I called up Letterman, and I’m like, Dave how about a couple Obama zingers for the roast tonight? He’s like, “no, no, too controversial. Everybody loves him.” And so I’m like, how about if I just insult America? So he’s like, “yeah, sure, that’s fine.”

Okay then, here’s one: man, that America is one stupid country.

(audience: HOW STUPID IS IT?)

It’s so fucking stupid it elected Barack Obama.

Hey, hey. I kid because I love. In fact, unlike that last mumblemouth infidel asshole, Barack has been a breath of fresh air to the entire evil comedy community. He doesn’t whine about the way we treat broads or homos or journalist hostages or our uranium stockpiles. Nope. He just smiles, and apologizes, and politely asks us to “unclench our fists.” Hey bro, I’d love to, but that’s kinda hard to do when it’s stuck inside your duodenum.

Okay, let’s get this show on the road. Our first roaster comes from England, where she’s the star of a long running one-woman show at the Buckingham Palace Dinner Theater. Ladies and Martyrs, you know her, you hate her, please welcome the Queen of Spleen, Liz Windsor!

(band breaks into God Save the Queen, applause)

Liz Windsor

Thanks for that swell intro, Shecky. By the way, I know how much you love our infidel nuclear technology, but we’ve got another 1940’s invention you should really check out. It’s called deodorant.

(rimshot)

Listen folks, I know you came here expecting me to start hurling some tasteless insults at Barack Obama. But, seriously, I just can’t bring myself to do it. Barack is almost like another son to me.

(audience: awwwww)

Yeah, another jug eared idiot with a hard-on for horsefaced women. Barack was in London a couple weeks ago and rang me up, asked if he could drop by for tea. So he comes in, and I’m thinking, whoa — those Yanks have really stepped up their space program, he’s brought along a real live Klingon. Turns out it was his wife.

(rimshot)

Yep. Then, oh Jesus, in she starts with all the hugging. And I’m like, fer chrissake, somebody hand Lieutenant Worf a planet Earth protocol guide. Then Barack pops off and says, “hey Your Majesty, I brought a gift.” Okay, I’m thinking, car company? Banking system? National Park? Then I open the box. It’s an iPod. A fucking iPod. Preloaded with Barack’s easy listening speech hits.

(stares at Obama amid nervous laughter)

Yeah, way to cement that special relationship, dumbfuck. Jesus Christ, was Wal Mart sold out of Sham Wows? Oh yeah, that iPod is going in the vault with the crown jewels. Right next to that sack of DVDs you bought for Gordy Brown.

Gordon Brown

Now see here, Your Majesty! I thought that was quite thoughtful gesture, and…

Liz Windsor

Oh, shut the fuck up, Gordy. I don’t come to your job and slap Obama’s dick out of your mouth. Listen folks, my time’s up, and this tiara is chafing like a sonuvabitch. Time for me to lie back and think of England. Don’t forget to tip your waitress!

Shecky Ahmedinejad

Liz Tudor everybody! Hey Liz — word to the wise. Stay out of the London subways this summer. By the way, you know the last thing to go through Princess Di’s head?

Liz Windsor

What’s that?

Shecky Ahmedinejad

Her ass. Next up is another monarch who primogenitured his way to the top — give a hand to that Saudi royal with a buttload of oil, King Abdullah!

(applause; ‘Desert Caravan’)

King Abdullah

Thanks everybody! Hey, how about that Shecky Ahmedinejad, ladies and gentleman? What a guy, he’d give you the Zanjeer Zani off his back. Now you know, a lot of people think I got it pretty good being a ruthless hereditary billionaire sitting on top of an ocean of crude oil and the top psycho theme park in the Middle East. But lemme tell you, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. How’d you like to have 37 mothers in-law?

(laughter)

But hey, controlling the world energy supply has its perks. People tend to treat you pretty nice. They offer you thoughtful little gifts and kickbacks. Now, Barack here, for instance, likes to offer blowjobs.

(gasps, ewwws)

What? What? Don’t believe me? Let’s go to the video. Sure, Bush liked holding hands, but he was a total pricktease. But Barack, hey, the guy goes down faster than a fat shaheed on madrassa prom night.

(Putin wipes away tears of laughter as Abdullah slowly pantomimes fellatio)

Now look Barack, I really appreciate the gesture, but regardless of what you might have heard — homie don’t swing that way.

(looks around slowly to banquet table surrounded by burqqa-clad wives)

On the other hand, send me your cell number. I never know when I’ll need a booty call. Good night folks, drive safely! Unless you’re a woman.

Shecky Ahmedinejad

Now that’s what I call crude humor. Our next performer has been called everything from the Andy Kauffman of international relations to the Gilbert Gottfried of the global nuclear club. Gird your loins for the annoying, far-out, certifiably insane comedic stylings of Kim! Jong! Il!

(applause; ‘They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Ha’)

Kim Jong Il

(walks slowly over to Barack Obama and leans into his face)

Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you! Does this bother you? I’m not nuking you!  Does this bother…

Shecky Ahmedinejad

Okay orderlies, cart him away. Jeez, and I thought I was nuts. Let’s bring it down a notch with a set from my dear old friend and original cast member of al-Qaeda’s Friday Night Live, Dr. Ayman al-Zawahiri!

(applause, ‘911 is a Joke’)

Ayman al-Zawahiri

Thank you, thank you. What a panel we got here, huh? I haven’t seen this many sick assholes since I was doing proctology rounds at Cairo General.

(Ahmedinejad spit take)

And there’s our man of the hour, Mr. Barack fuckin’ joke thief Obama. Havin’ fun, buddy?

(Obama smiles nervously)

Listen pal, maybe I live in a cave, but I read the papers. Strafing Manhattan in a 747? Really? In case you didn’t notice, I was doing that routine like eight fucking years ago. I mean, what are you, Carlos fucking Mencia?

(Obama smiles nervously)

What’s the matter? Teleprompter got your tongue?

(Obama smiles nervously)

Holy scimitar, this fuckface couldn’t ad lib a fart. Listen, Barack, I appreciate all the reach-arounds, but if you don’t stop stealing my material I swear to Allah I’m gonna sic a copyright lawyer on your apostate ass. As soon as I can find one who isn’t a Jew. Goodnight folks, you’ve been a great audience! Death to America!

Shecky Ahmedinejad

Ayman al-Zawahiri, everybody! If you’re in Swat this weekend, make sure you catch his act at the Khyber Pass Inn. Our next performer comes from the exotic Orient where he works the Forbidden City Casino. Ladies and Gentleman, the man with the biggest bankroll and smallest dick in international show biz, Mister Hu Jintao!

(applause, ‘Slow Boat to China’)

Hu Jintao

Yeah Confucius say fuck you, you third rate unibrow rug dealer. Don’t make me open a can of one-child-policy on your smelly Persian ass. You’re no Long Dong Wang yourself, and at least mine isn’t covered in camel crap. Hey everybody, how’s it goin’?

(applause)

And how about that Barack Obama. What a prince, huh? The most generous man in show biz.

(applause)

Yep. Generous to a fault. With my money. What? You think all those big tips he throws around come out of his own pocket? Just the other day he called up and said, “hey Hu, how about spotting me a couple trillion till next tax day?” And I’m like, what, does Aunt Esther need another pair of sneakers? And he goes, “no, I got a Social Security payment due.”

I’m like, dude — what happened to that last trillion I lent you? Get this: the stupid fucker spent it on a beat up Cadillac for his union buddies. So I say, look, I’m a little short right now. I’ll catch you at your 30-year treasury bond garage sale. Then the next week he’s like, dude, where were you?” Ah so, round-eye! No tickee, no thirty!

Yeah, that ain’t the half of it. Not only does this asshole expect me to be his personal ATM and pawnshop, he’s always calling up bitching about something. Just the other day, he’s like, “come on Hu, how come you keep busting my balls with your naval drive-bys?” I’m like dude, you’re 3 months overdue on your aircraft carrier payments. Those aren’t Chinese navy boats, those are repo men!

Look folks, I gotta get back home and churn out another load of defective plastic crap for Wal Mart, to make some money, to lend to Barack for some new idiot free bullshit program. Christ, and they call me a Commie! ‘Night everybody, and please remember to thank your designated tank driver.

Shecky Ahmedinejad

Hu Jintao! Toxic Choking Hazard Toy Industry’s Man of the Year, everybody! Hu Jintao. Next we have that crazy Caucasian from across the Caucasus, that Gremlin from the Kremin, 15-time winner of KGB Entertainer of the Year, Vlady Putin!

(applause)

Vlady Putin

Tank yous Shecky! Tank yous very much. Ho boy, it is good to be in America! I love America, is great country. It is land of free! Not like my country. In my country, whole government run by corrupt communist thugs. They ignore the laws. They take over companies and give the money to their friends. America is very totally different! It has 110 volt outlets.

Haha! Vlady make funny everybody! Hey Barack, you teach Vlady how to nationalize the banks, hokay?

Best thing about America is everybody is so very very nice. Especially the President Barack! He is complete pussycat. Pussy, pussy, pussycat. He loves Vlady’s practical jokes. I kick his Air Force out of Kyrgyzstan he say, hokey dokey, Vlady! Then I fly my bombers right over his ships, and he sends fat babushka lady to give me a funny reset button gag gift. I say, hey Barack, what Vlady gotta do to make you mad? He say, “just don’t go to no tea parties, hokay?”

What a country! Because Barack be so nice to me, now I want to sing him a nice American song from the Hoagy Carmichael.

(Vlady pulls out balalaika and tunes up)

Georgia, Geor-or-orgia… no peace can I find… it’s just them old sweet tanks that keep Georgia on my mind.

Tanks everybody! Take it easy on the Vodka!

Shecky Ahmedinejad

Vlady Putin, everyone! Okay, our next performer is a good ol’ country boy from the hills of Waziristan, where he emcees the weekly Grand Ole Stoning show at the Wana Goat Corral. Let’s give it up for Mullah Omar!

(applause; Theme From ‘Deliverance’)

Mullah Omar

Thanks Shecky. When Shecky asked me to do this gig, I was like, what the fuck? Dude, I’m a fucking Taliban, I know as much about comedy as Perez Hilton knows about vaginas. So he says, “don’t worry. I lined up this professional infidel comedian to write your bit.” I’m like, oh yeah? And he’s like, “yeah, her name is Wanda Sykes.” And I’m like, a broad?  And he’s like, “Trust me, Barack loves her. She totally slays the infidels.”

Okay, you know I’m down with that. So then this Wanda shows up at my cave yesterday with a stack of cue cards with her jokes. And I’m like, bitch please — put on a fucking burqqa. So I’m doing the read-through, and every gag is about killing some guy named Rush Limbaugh. So, I’m like, who the fuck is this Limbaugh guy? I thought this gig was supposed to be about Obama. And she goes, “he’s a fat radio Nazi who hates Blacks and Jews and gay people.” And I’m like, hey, sounds like my kinda guy. And she’s like, “exactly!” And I’m like, why would I want to insult somebody I agree with? So she says “because he’s for the war, dumbass.”

And so at this point I’m pretty fucking confused. So I say to her, okay, now I think I get it. This fat guy is funny because (a) he supports Obama’s crusade against us, even though (b) he and I are on the same page, homo-killing-wise. The funny is from the irony or something. And she’s like, “no, idiot! Barack wants to stop the war.” So I’m like, wait a minute… Barack is against the war? Then why is he still running it? Besides, I though he actually likes homos. And she goes, “He does, you retard! That’s why he’s going to end the bombing and leave you alone.”

Now I’m even more confused. So I go, look Wanda, maybe I’m not up on your infidel inside jokes, but this material is really gonna bomb in front of a shaheed audience. So she gives me that look and says, “okay, you cracker ass cracker, why don’t you show me what you people think is funny?” Long story short..

(Omar reaches down behind podium and pulls out Wanda Sykes’ head)

Hey Wanda…here’s your sign.

Alluha Akbar, y’all!

(Omar walks back to his seat, tosses the head to Hugo Chavez who puts it on his hand, muppet style)

Hugo Chavez

Saright?

Wanda Sykes’ Head

Saright!

(Abdullah falls out chair in helpless laughter; Fidel Castro stares in comatose deadpan)

Shecky Ahmedinejad

Mullah Omar, everybody! Now that’s why they call him the king of prop comedy!

Okay folks. Now, it’s time to hear from the man who’s been sitting here all evening, silently absorbing all our insults. Here’s his chance to get a little payback! Ladies and Dictators, please welcome our esteemed man of the hour, leader of the infidel world, and the only man in the room who doesn’t realize he’s way over his head — President Barack Obama!

(standing ovation; ‘Hail to the Chief’)

Barack Obama

Lemme tell ya, I don’t get any respect.

(torrential screams of convulsive uncontrollable sustained laughter; Sarkozy falls backwards in chair; Omar wipes tears away while shooting AK47 into air; Abdullah pantomimes fellatio; Castro stares comatose; Vlady pilots toy airplane above Obama’s head; Kim and Shecky take turns punching gag missile launch button; Jon Stewart mugs look of horror)

Shecky Ahmedinejad

That’s all the time we have tonight! Thanks to all the performers, and Barack Obama for being such a good sport. See you at the next Rat Pack of Evil roast, when we move to the fabulous Boom Boom Room at the Radioactive Crater Resort in Downtown Jerusalem! Goodnight 12th Imam, wherever you are!

His tears flowed from the blessing of the little girl — the one with the angel-voice. And, as we stood in ovation in the American Legion Hall her lyric, “… I once was lost, but now I’m found. Was blind, but now I see” reminded him why his military service and the forty-odd years since had all been worthwhile: her Freedom, our Freedom.

As our tearful eyes locked, he restrained in a whisper, “See that? That’s why I lost my legs in Vietnam.” But then he smiled, “losing my legs is the best thing that ever happened to me… it’s why I am here right now, and it’s given me a great life.” 

Of course, I can never truly know the depth of my new friend Duane Wagner’s struggles in meeting his post Vietnam war challenges, but I was privileged to share with him a true moment of ‘amazing grace’ in the knowledge that his sacrifices – and all those of his compatriots — were not in vain.

Duane Wagner (rt) leading the group in Texas

That beautiful moment was but one of countless expressions of dignity and courage that I witnessed during my participation in this year’s Ride 2 Recovery “Don’t Mess With Texas Challenge” – a 350 mile bicycle ride from Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas to Arlington’s Texas Ranger’s Ballpark, Mar. 30 – Apr. 4, 2009.

Ride 2 Recovery is produced by the Fitness Challenge Foundation, in partnership with the Military and the VA Volunteer Service Office, to benefit Mental and Physical Rehabilitation Programs that feature cycling as the core activity.

When Former Marine John Wordin, R2R’s founder and a world-class cyclist, extended me an invitation I jumped at the opportunity to make a journey with some of America’s heroic Wounded Warriors.

Little did I realize the abject humbling ahead, both physical and emotional, once I’d cinched up my cleats, smeared the recommended “liberal amounts” of Chamois Butt’r® upon my “sensitive areas” and saddled up with Purple Heart Veterans ranging from the Vietnam War to today’s Global War on Terror, and our team of fellow riders & supporters from the American Legion Auxiliary and USO.

To ride along the back roads of Texas into 40-50 mph headwinds for 35 miles with such brave men as Nathan Hunt, who gave both of his legs in service to America during Operation Iraqi Freedom, is among the most profoundly exhausting yet uplifting experiences of my life.

Nate and Adam

We barely spoke during those five grueling hours, but Nate’s determination and resolve to endure spoke volumes to me. I will never again hear the words “I can’t” from an able-bodied person without thinking of him. Yes you can, my friends. Yes you can!

Luke “Joe Dirt” Goedert — his lower back shattered by an IED and now held together with titanium plates and screws — was pumping along on his hand-bike one non-descript Texas back road afternoon.

Students from Austin cheer on the heroes

As I pulled alongside he barked, “Hey ‘Animal Mother’,” a character I once portrayed, “thanks for coming… I don’t think too many of those guys in Hollywood would do this. But that’s okay,” he sang out, “don’t apologize for them. They’re the ones missing out!”

And with that truth, we chortled and muscled our bikes onward to the awaiting roadside USO Canteen support vehicle and its welcoming diet of tasty PB&J’s, hot soup, beef Jerky, and ice cold PowerAde.

When you join R2R, you’ll also get to meet American cycling legend Wayne Stetina. Wayne is a three-time Olympian (’72, ‘76 &’80), and eleven-time U.S. national champion. Among the many things he’ll teach you will be the finer points of drafting in a peloton (look it up), and why it’s so important to keep pace within your group, especially when struggling into a headwind.

And, should you fall behind, Wayne, John or one of the stronger team riders will be there to lend you a boosting hand on your backside to get you caught up.

On day three we were deeply honored with a hot spaghetti dinner hosted by Ft. Hood’s III Corps Commanding Officer Lt. General Rick Lynch, one of General Petraeus’ chief architects of America’s successful surge in Iraq. The next morning, Sgt. Major Ciotolo and a thousand of his loyal troops and support personnel enthusiastically cheered us 60 miles windward towards Waco.

President Bush with the R2R group

Our final stop in Cleburne, presented Rep. Chet Edwards (D-TX), Chairman of the House Veterans Affairs Appropriations Subcommittee and his constituents — among them our former Commander in Chief, George W. Bush (R-TX). They met, mingled and joked with us. They also listened to the vital transitional rehabilitative concerns and needs of our Wounded Warriors.

These powerful Texas gentlemen, in a bipartisan/nonpartisan show of goodwill, then gave us a hearty send-off on our last day’s ride into Arlington and its Texas Rangers vs. KC Royal’s game.

There, on a glorious Saturday afternoon, our ride’s General David Blackledge, America’s highest ranking officer wounded in Iraq, and Nate Hunt each threw out ceremonial first pitches to the cheers of the assembled crowd.

Congressman Chet Edwards with Chad Fleming

To those of my Entertainment Industry brethren who have until now missed out on contributing their time (and/or cash please) with our American troops and veterans, whom we all support: “You talk the talk”, pace Animal Mother, “Do you walk the walk?” Or better yet, will you please help ride the ride?

Skip your spinning or yoga class for a few days to join an upcoming Ride 2 Recovery event in a show of support to our heroic military men and women and their courageous families.

In my mind, this journey loudly echoes my new friend Duane the warrior’s sentiment that this experience is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I promise that it will change your life for the better as well.

C’mon, let’s saddle up!

– Adam Baldwin is a Hollywood actor with 30 years experience in film and television. He is currently working on the NBC series “Chuck”, and his credits include the role of “Animal Mother” in Stanley Kubrick’s Vietnam War classic “Full Metal Jacket”.

For more information on Ride 2 Recovery including to join Adam or Ed Begley Jr. on an upcoming ride or make a donation: Go to www.ride2recovery.com

The weather again cooperated with a brisk tailwind to get to the ballpark in time to throw out the first pitch. The last day was full of celebration and looking back at the week that brought us all together. The ride is full of stories that none of us will ever forget.

The three handcycle riders, Travis, Nate and David, who made every mile of the ride. A true show of strength and courage, especially with the wind of day 4. They loved getting the new Michelin tires to help them go faster.

The face of Ryan Clark the 3rd day of the ride after he learned how much fun cycling could be with the proper shoes. The new electronic Shimano shifting kits that Dean and Kenny used changed men and kept them riding strong.

All of the riders surpassed what they thought was possible going into the ride. To see the faces of the riders like Allan Annert and Chad Fleming, who was to ride a hand cycle until Roger Staubach stepped up. Chad was able to get President Bush to sign the bike also, making it one of the most unique bikes in the world.

The towns and schools who came out to greet us waiting until we got there, cheering and singing as we rode by. There was some disappointment as Juan Guerrero was not able to finish the ride.

The public and guest riders like Steve Hayes, Adam Baldwin, and Rich Arthur, who added such a great dynamic to the ride. Our wounded Vietnam vets, Duane Wagner and Jim Penseyres, who helped guide and mentor the younger guys. To all of the volunteers and wives that come along and help out. To all of the sponsors like the American Legion, USO, Star Trac, and especially Benetech of Texas who helped get the Shimano electronic shifting.

We hope that you can join us for the next R2R event….the Memorial Challenge May 25-30… the finish features American Idol winner David Cook in concert in Virginia Beach….

Coverage of the President with the wounded warriors here and here.

Each day along the route, the USO Canteen sets up a lunch rest stop which is a great relief for all of the riders. Today, the town of Manchaca hosted the ride. A local insurance agent, Lety Johnson, was so happy to have met us–her son is leaving on Saturday for US Marine bootcamp. She hopes the group comes back next year so she can sponsor lunch.

After lunch was over, it was time to head to Austin where a very special greeting awaited the riders. More than 1,000 students lined several blocks waving flags and chanting and cheering the riders. For those that had been in California, it was even better as the Fire Dept. hook and ladder was set up across the road holding a US Flag.

Kids as far as the eye can see…….

After we reached the hotel, it was time to relax, eat more Otis Spunkmeyer cookies, and get ready for dinner…at perhaps the nicest American Legion Post in the country. Post 76 sits on a bluff above Lake Austin and dates back to the 1800’s. At the dinner, the Austin fire dept. presented the flag that flew over the road earlier in the day to Conrad Calderon.  Calderon displayed courage as one of our hand cycles who keep amazing everyone with their determination by finishing each day.

At the dinner, the most popular person was actor Adam Baldwin–all of the ladies from the AL Aux. just had to have their pictures taken with him. It’s nice to know that the demo of “Chuck” was out in force in Austin…..

Tomorrow, the group heads to Ft. Hood and some very special guests will be joining the ride. A large group of the Army Cycling Club members, USO VP Jeff Hill, and General Cheek, the director of all WTU’s.

The guys and gals also got geared up; can’t say enough about all of the support this program receives from our partners.  Jerseys, socks, arm warmers, glasses, the all important Chamois butt’r, and T-shirts…soon we were off.

Each of the R2R events has it own character and brand. Texas is the land of BIG. Big country, big hair, big personalities, and big stars…..

The Texas Challenge features seven hand cycle riders that are certainly big stars. It is the first event we have done with such a big presence and we were not sure what to expect. These guys have been preparing for the ride to Arlington for months. Through a program supported by a local foundation, Operation Comfort, the warriors showed unbelievable courage as almost all of them made the entire 55 mile ride to San Marcos with two of them in the 2nd group on the road.

The Texas ride also features some new riders to the program, Actor Adam Baldwin, CNN contributor Steve Hayes, and even General David Blackledge.

In February of 2004, Major General Blackledge’s convoy was ambushed in Iraq. The interpreter, who was sitting next to him, was shot through the head. Taking fire, the vehicle rolled. But the survivors were able to escape. He sustained a broken back and ribs, with other injuries requiring eleven months of recovery and physical therapy.

Fifteen months after the ambush, Major General Blackledge was deployed back to Iraq. While in Amman, Jordan for meetings, he was in one of three popular hotels that were struck by terrorist bombs. The explosions killed over 55 people and injured over 110. He suffered a neck injury.

Major General Blackledge has demonstrated his courage during three combat tours (he also fought in the Persian Gulf War). He has been awarded five Bronze Star Medals as well as Purple Hearts he received for combat injuries.

The American Legion Auxiliary did their usual great job with dinner tonight.  Several community groups put on quite a feast including San Marcos Mayor Susan Narvaiz, who will also be on hand tomorrow to cheer on the riders and the city will put on a show of force with their police leading the group through town. It was great to see Chad interviewed as he was still beaming from the gift of his new bike.

It’s on to Austin….

You can follow the ride by joining our Facebook Road 2 Recovery group.

San Marcos Daily Record article here.