I Guess You Had To Be There: The Barack Obama Celebrity Roast

(Thundering tympanies, swirling spotlights)

Announcer

Live! From the fabulous Turtle Bay Ballroom at United Nations Headquarters, it’s the Rat Pack of Evil All-Star International Celebrity Roast of President Barack Obama!

(orchestra fanfare: ‘Make ‘Em Laugh’)

With Pyongyang funnyman Kim Jong-Il! Borscht Belt headliner Vlady Putin! Queen of Mean Liz Windsor! Saudi Sheik of Schtick King Abdullah! Beijing jokeslinger Hu Jintao! Wacky al Qaeda Caveman Ayman al-Zawahiri! Nick ‘the Knife’ Sarkozy! Sassy Wanda Sykes! South-of-the-border slapstick team Hugo Chavez and the Castro Brothers! Taliban Madman Mullah Omar! Jon Stewart! Lovable Libyan lush Muammar al-Ghadaffi! Grovelin’ Guvner Gordy Brown! Bashar “The Chin” al-Assad! The Hamas Fattah Dancers! And starring your Master of Ceremonies — that suntan man with a plan from Iran — that Persian with a nuclear perversion — Sheckyyyyyy Ahmedinejad!

(applause)

Shecky Ahmedinejad

Okay, okay, pipe down. Let’s get this thing over with, this straitjacket is a rental and my magic carpet is double-parked on East 43rd. Mohamed H. Prophet, will you get a load of the evil on the stage tonight? I haven’t seen this many bombs since Janeane Garofalo played the American Legion convention. (more…)

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Tags: "without preconditions", Ahmedinejad, al qaeda, American Legion, Andy Kauffman
Posted May 13th 2009 at 5:57 pm in Entertainment, Featured Story, Media Criticism, News, Political Humor, Politics, Religion | 1346345 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/dburge/2009/05/13/i-guess-you-had-to-be-there-the-barack-obama-celebrity-roast/I+Guess+You+Had+To+Be+There%3A+The+Barack+Obama+Celebrity+Roast2009-05-14+00%3A57%3A28Iowahawk

Ride 2 Recovery: An Amazing Journey!

The warrior cried, but not for himself.

His tears flowed from the blessing of the little girl — the one with the angel-voice. And, as we stood in ovation in the American Legion Hall her lyric, “… I once was lost, but now I’m found. Was blind, but now I see” reminded him why his military service and the forty-odd years since had all been worthwhile: her Freedom, our Freedom.

As our tearful eyes locked, he restrained in a whisper, “See that? That’s why I lost my legs in Vietnam.” But then he smiled, “losing my legs is the best thing that ever happened to me… it’s why I am here right now, and it’s given me a great life.” 

Of course, I can never truly know the depth of my new friend Duane Wagner’s struggles in meeting his post Vietnam war challenges, but I was privileged to share with him a true moment of ‘amazing grace’ in the knowledge that his sacrifices – and all those of his compatriots — were not in vain. (more…)

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Tags: American Legion, Ameriquest Field, Animal Mother, Brook Army Medical Center, Chamois Butt’r®
Posted Apr 20th 2009 at 5:00 am in Entertainment, Featured Story, Military | 1094623 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/abaldwin/2009/04/20/ride-2-recovery-an-amazing-journey-2/Ride+2+Recovery%3A+An+Amazing+Journey%212009-04-20+12%3A00%3A59Adam+Baldwin

R2R Texas Challenge: Day 6 — W. Encourages Wounded Warriors

The day got off to a great start when former President George Bush showed up to visit the wounded warriors and give us a big sendoff on our way to Arlington and Texas Rangers Ballpark.

The weather again cooperated with a brisk tailwind to get to the ballpark in time to throw out the first pitch. The last day was full of celebration and looking back at the week that brought us all together. The ride is full of stories that none of us will ever forget. (more…)

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Tags: Adam Baldwin, American Legion, Benetech, David Cook, george w. bush
Posted Apr 6th 2009 at 8:43 am in Military | 9807010 Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/r2r/2009/04/06/r2r-texas-challenge-day-6-w-encourages-wounded-warriors/R2R+Texas+Challenge%3A+Day+6+--+W.+Encourages+Wounded+Warriors2009-04-06+15%3A43%3A43Ride+2+Recovery

R2R Texas Challenge: Day 2–San Marcos to Austin…Texas Pride

The day got started with cloudy, cold, and windy weather as the group made its way to breakfast. By the time the ride briefing was over and it was time to start, the skies became blue and the roads dry. It was a beautiful day to ride to Austin. On Day 2, the ride always goes smoother and the pace picks up a bit as everyone settles into their rhythm. Despite a brisk head wind, the groups finally formed and the fun got into full swing….

Each day along the route, the USO Canteen sets up a lunch rest stop which is a great relief for all of the riders. Today, the town of Manchaca hosted the ride. A local insurance agent, Lety Johnson, was so happy to have met us–her son is leaving on Saturday for US Marine bootcamp. She hopes the group comes back next year so she can sponsor lunch. (more…)

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Tags: Adam Baldwin, American Legion, Army Cycling Club, Chuck, combat injuries
Posted Mar 31st 2009 at 11:11 pm in Celebrity News, Military | 94586No Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/r2r/2009/03/31/r2r-texas-challenge-day-2-san-marcos-to-austintexas-pride/R2R+Texas+Challenge%3A+Day+2--San+Marcos+to+Austin...Texas+Pride2009-04-01+06%3A11%3A08Ride+2+Recovery

R2R Texas Challenge: Day 1 San Antonio to San Marcos–A Day in the Sun

The day got off to a great start as the weather was great with sunny skies and temps in the mid 80’s as a tailwind blew the R2R group all the way 55 miles to San Marcos. After a quick ride briefing, Chad was presented with a special bike that Cowboy legend Roger Staubach autographed for him–it is neat to see grown men brought to tears.

The guys and gals also got geared up; can’t say enough about all of the support this program receives from our partners.  Jerseys, socks, arm warmers, glasses, the all important Chamois butt’r, and T-shirts…soon we were off. (more…)

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Tags: Adam Baldwin, American Legion, Bronze Star, combat injuries, General David Blackledge
Posted Mar 30th 2009 at 11:36 pm in Celebrity News, Military | 93498No Commentshttp://bighollywood.breitbart.com/r2r/2009/03/30/r2r-texas-challenge-day-1-san-antonio-to-san-marcos-a-day-in-the-sun/R2R+Texas+Challenge%3A+Day+1+San+Antonio+to+San+Marcos--A+Day+in+the+Sun2009-03-31+06%3A36%3A19Ride+2+Recovery