Today’s New York Post:

Adam Lambert shocked and surprised the American Music Awards Sunday night with what some viewers deemed a “lewd” performance of the title track of his newly-released debut album, “For Your Entertainment.”

The “American Idol” runner-up pelvic-thrusted his way through the four-minute, S&M-themed routine, taking time out from singing to grope a female dancer, kiss a male musician and, most shockingly, shove a male dancer’s face into his crotch, in an act that simulated fellatio.

The raunchy stuff was apparently added to the live broadcast, and the routine, at the last minute, and the network said yesterday it was caught by surprise. The simulated sex act was edited out of the videotaped version of the awards show that was transmitted three hours later to the West Coast — but the rest of Lambert’s performance remained intact.

The edit wasn’t enough to hold back a tidal wave of upset viewers who’ve complained to ABC about the sexually charged stage show. More than 1,500 complaints were logged by the network on the day following the broadcast, reports the AP.

Read the full article here.

Or is it?

In 1994 the political right offered voters something more than simply criticism of the President. Republican members of the House of Representatives presented voters with the “Contract with America.” This document, signed by all but two Republican congressmen and all of the Republican congressional candidates, detailed the specific legislative action Republicans would take if the American people handed them the reigns of government. The contract was a “detailed agenda for national renewal, a written commitment with no fine print.”

At the time of this writing I am not aware of Republicans having any such detailed agenda nor, unfortunately, am I confident that there is one in the works. I have a recurring nightmare that we will all awake on January 1st with a President and Democrat congress weakened by continued economic malaise, a healthcare boondoggle and threats of huge energy taxes designed to save the planet only to be greeted with the Republican mantra of tax cuts – a tune that has become monotonous and rings rather hollow, due primarily to Republican complicity in building the ship that delivered us to these rocky economic shores.

And yet like 1994 over-reaching by the new left has provided Republicans with a huge political opportunity to perhaps retake the House of Representatives or at the very least deny Democrats their filibuster proof majority. But in order to convince voters that the right is prepared to drive domestic policy the GOP needs more than complaints and criticism; they must present a committed and detailed agenda.

Rather than call it a “Contract with America,” which seems a bit old hat, we can perhaps refer to this as a Political Warranty – a warranty that if the GOP is returned to power they will be bound to a short-list legislative agenda aimed at delivering true healthcare reform, true education reform and truly trying to realize a post racial America.

I am not talking about rhetoric or an articulation of principles. Alas, Republicans are all too adept at articulating principles; they have as of late been rather lackluster in conveying specific policy.

What is the specific legislative action the GOP is going to take to increase competition in health care? How willing is the GOP to buck the system and remove barriers to insurance purchases across state lines? To removing obstacles to new insurance companies entering the industry? How committed is the GOP to instituting real tort reform? True price and quality transparency? Are they willing to butt heads with the AMA and make it easier to build new medical schools in order to train more doctors?

Republicans talk about education reform, but what is the specific legislative action they promise to take in order to remove decisions about k-12 education out of the pockets of the bureaucrats and back into the hands of parents? How will they encourage innovation? How will they rebuild our vocational schools to meet the needs of the 21st century?

Finally, criticism of the President for not moving the nation beyond race means very little without a GOP re-commitment to being the post racial party. Republicans must warranty that they will be most committed to legislation that furthers the battle against discrimination of all kinds. Further the warranty must make it clear that the party will not tolerate bigotry of any sort within its ranks.

I will leave it to others more politically astute than I to fill in the blanks, but the questions must be answered. The GOP has a real opportunity to become the true party of reform, but history will not simply repeat itself without a little nudge.

I asked him what the surgery entailed and he told me he didn’t know as he’d never read about it.  I sarcastically asked if he intended to read about it before he cut me open and performed this radical surgery on me and he told me he wouldn’t bother because it would be too complicated for him to understand, anyway.  I asked him what was wrong with me and he told me I had the sniffles and a slight temperature.   I asked him what massive radical surgery would do to help cure my cold and he said, “well, doing nothing isn’t going to cure it.”

I didn’t scream, I didn’t yell.  I’ll admit I did raise my voice a little, but I mean, who wouldn’t?   This guy took an oath – hey, this guy works for me!

Well, apparently my raising my voice was too much for him, he called out into the hall for some burly hospital workers – you know the ones, those big orderlies in purples shirts – to stand by and be ready to knock me out with a single punch and tie me to a gurney if I brought up any more objections.  With their arrival he declared that he didn’t want me to “do much talkin’” since I’m the one who “caused the problem in the first place” by catching cold.

With me quieted for the moment the doctor began to speak.  Not to me.  Apparently he’d gotten a phone call about something much, much more important than me.  I think it was the odds on “Rickety Split” in the seventh.

When what should have been a ten or fifteen minute examination turned to first a half-hour then an hour, my friend, who had driven me to the doctor in case I needed a prescription that would make operating heavy machinery unwise, politely knocked on the door and poked his head in to ask if the exam would be much longer as he had to get back to work.  The doctor shrieked, “A mob!!!”  and slammed the door on his foot breaking his toe.

My friend was rushed to the O.R. and is expected to make a complete recovery from the full appendectomy and quadruple bi-pass surgery my doctor performed to fix it.  The bad news?  I’m now on the AMA’s Enemies List for all my fishy questions.