However most – if not all – of them – are powerless. They don’t run governments. They’re lucky if they run laundromats.

But in Iran, you’ve got a full-blown neo-Nazi running the government. You’ve got a modern day Hitler boasting about nuclear capability. He shares so much in common with Adolf it’s eerie – his envy-driven hatred, horrible hair and an irrational love for animals. All that’s missing is the funny mustache.

But the bottom line: he’s not white, and you can’t be a neo-Nazis without it. It’s an insidious form of racism: if Ahmadinejad were from Indiana instead of Iran, my gut tells me Obama would have no problem speaking truth to power. Instead, we we hope for change. Or change for hope. I don’t think it matters how you phrase it anymore. The point is, a madman has a bomb, which is slightly more frightening than a wornout pair of Doc Martens.

And if you disagree with me, you’re probably a racist homophobe who kills caterpillars.

Tonight, an awesome show!

the delightful Carrie Keagan!

the demonic Jim Norton!

the delicious Jill Dobson!

the body language king Jeanine Driver!

So, too, “The Wizard of Oz”—released 70 years ago today—is, perhaps, the best film ever made.  

Or, at least, the most quintessentially American—in terms of our struggles, hopes, aspirations, dreams, and, ultimately, unshakable confidence, that “somewhere over the rainbow… dreams… really do come true.”

MGM had purchased this highly popular and imaginative children’s book written by L. Frank Baum, and published in 1900, for $75,000, specifically for Judy.  During development, the silver shoes became ruby, thus undercutting Baum’s apparent allegory to “bimetallism”—currency backed by silver, replacing “the gold standard” and favoring rural farmers; in contrast to the worthless “greenbacks” some say Emerald City represents. 

We all know the story. 

Dorothy, an orphan, living with her aunt and uncle on their Kansas farm, is always getting into trouble, especially with cantankerous Miss Elmira Gulch, who is trying to destroy her dog, Toto.  So, Auntie Em counsels Dorothy to “find a place where you won’t get into any trouble,” which Dorothy envisions in “Over the Rainbow.”

Running away, she encounters Professor Marvel, who perceives Auntie Em’s broken heart in his crystal ball, sending Dorothy scurrying back home but not in time to secure underground shelter safe from the coming tornado, now sealed shut. Barely making it inside the farmhouse, her bedroom window immediately blows loose, knocking out Dorothy and transporting her to the strange and enchanting Land of Oz—“over the rainbow”—where she meets memorable friends and foes, starting with beautiful Glinda, “Good Witch of the North,” whom the Munchkins have called after Dorothy’s house crushed their nemesis. 

The Munchkins, she said, “are happy because you have freed them from the Wicked Witch of the East.”  But, Glinda informs Dorothy she has made a “bad enemy” because the “Wicked Witch of the West,” who has no power over Glinda, wants revenge for the death of her sister. 

After Glinda reminds the Wicked Witch of the West about her sister’s shoes, she immediately tries to seize them; whereupon they disappear, the dead witch’s feet curling up—and Dorothy suddenly finds herself wearing the prized sparkling ruby slippers.  

Glinda counsels Dorothy, “Keep tight inside of them.  Their magic must be very powerful.  Or she wouldn’t want them so badly.” 

She also counsels her to seek out the “the great and wonderful Wizard of Oz” for help returning to Kansas, noting he’s “very good and very mysterious” and lives in Emerald City.  To get there, she counsels Dorothy to “start at the beginning” and “just follow the Yellow Brick Road.” 

“And, remember,” Glinda says, “never let those ruby slippers off your feet for a moment, or you will be at the mercy of the Wicked Witch of the West.” 

So begins her memorable journey down the Yellow Brick Road.  

Dorothy soon meets her three traveling companions—the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion—during which they battle all manner of evil forces.  Finally meeting the Wizard, he says he will help only if they bring him the Wicked Witch of the West’s broom.  Incredibly they manage this fete only to discover the Wizard’s powers are limited to wise counsel about the power that resides within oneself—a power that Dorothy channels, at Glinda’s direction, by clicking her ruby shoes three times and repeating “There’s no place like home.” 

Of course, “The Wizard of Oz” is more than a fairy tale.  For, Baum and his illustrator, WW Denslow—both active in politics in the 1890s—utilized the same long-standing images editorial cartoonists used to portray American politicians.  Their work, scholars argue, is a metaphor for political, economic, and social currents of the day, especially bitter management/labor clashes; the hardships of rural life; the debate over the currency standard at the heart of populism; and, the prevailing “power of positive thinking”—Dorothy’s ticket home.

The Tornado of 1939; the Coming Tornado of 2009 

Yet, apart from its original allegorical intent, far more fascinating is the meaning “The Wizard of Oz” acquires in the context of world events the year of its release, when Hitler’s stated desire for “annihilation of the Jewish race in Europe” played out. 

Parallels that continue, eerily so, in 2009—down to the Empire State Building being lit green during Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinjead’s visit, as part of a “Wizard of Oz” 70^th Anniversary celebration.

                                                                                                          Reuters

At the time, British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain was pursuing a policy of appeasement based on his belief that the Allies had badly treated Germany after its defeat in World War I.  This only fueled Hitler’s aggression—leading to Germany’s occupation of Austria on March 13, 1938, and union with Germany (the Anschluss), explicitly forbidden by the Treaty of Versailles. 

Several Members of Parliament including Anthony Eden, who had resigned as Chamberlain’s Foreign Secretary, and Winston Churchill, now called on Chamberlain to take action against Hitler and his Nazi government. 

Next, Hitler demanded the Sudetenland in Czechoslovakia for Germany, a crisis heads of Germany, Britain, France and Italy “solved” while meeting in Munich, exactly a year before the “Wizard of Oz’s release,” on September 29, 1938, leading to the “Munich Agreement,” which transferred to Germany this fortified frontier region that contained a large German-speaking population. Czechoslovakia’s head of state, protesting this decision, was told Britain would be unwilling to go to war over the issue of the Sudetenland. 

Churchill and Eden likewise attacked the otherwise popular agreement asserting the British government behaved dishonorably and had lost the support of Czech Army, one of Europe’s best. 

It was only in March, 1939, when the German Army seized the rest of Czechoslovakia, breaking the Munich Agreement, that British Prime Minister Chamberlain finally realized Hitler could not be trusted. 

Sound familiar? 

On September 1, 1939, the month “The Wizard of Oz” was released, Hitler invaded Poland with over 2 million troops from Nazi Germany, the Soviet Union and Slovakia (a small contingent)—marking the beginning of World War II. 

The “Polish September Campaign” began one week after the signing of the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact (Germany-Soviet agreement pledging non-aggression if either was attacked by a third party), and ended October 6, 1939, with Germany and the Soviet Union dividing and annexing the whole of Poland. 

Poland, 10% of which was Jewish, subsequently became the Nazi’s dumping ground for European Jews whom Hitler isolated in urban ghettos, the largest being the Warsaw Ghetto—where 300,000-400,000 people were densely packed, many of whom died due to rampant disease and starvation under the Nazi SS; many dying at Treblinka extermination camp—254,000-300,000 alone during a two months-long operation in 1942; tens of thousands more dying during the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising in 1943, protesting deportations to Treblinka—the largest single revolt by the Jews during the Holocaust. 

By the end of the World War II about three million Polish Jews had died; only 50,000-70,000 survived. 

Now, seventy years after the release of “The Wizard of Oz,” a parallel global situation is playing out where dishonest, or perhaps hopelessly deluded, Islamic extremist leaders are singling out the Jewish people, seeking, for now, to exterminate their memory by denying the Holocaust, most notably in the case of the Iranian President; or asserting, as reported in the Wall Street Journal, “Jews have no history in the city of Jerusalem: They have never lived there, the Temple never existed, and Israeli archaeologists have admitted as much. Those who deny this are simply liars. Or so says Sheik Tayseer Rajab Tamimi, chief Islamic judge of the Palestinian Authority.”

                                                                                                  Associated Press

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu vigorously protested the United Nation’s giving a forum to the Iranian Holocaust-denying President, saying it was “a disgrace of the U.N. charter.”  (The Iranian delegation did not bother to attend the Israeli leader’s speech presenting the historical record.) 

Mr. Netanyahu held up copies of minutes of the meeting of Nazi officials in 1942 planning the extermination of the Jews at Treblinka, as well as construction plans for Nazi concentration camps—documents he obtained on a recent visit to Berlin, including to a villa, called Wannsee, where the extermination plans were drawn up.  

Villa in Wannsee where “Final Solution” conference was held on January 20, 1942

 “Are these protocols lies?” he said, holding them up. “Are the successive German governments that have kept these documents for posterity all liars?” 

Mr. Ahmadinejad had told a rally in Tehran, the week prior, that, “After the Second World War, [Jews] created the story of Holocaust… and then they made hundreds of films and wrote hundreds of books to argue they have suffered and need a home…. This is a myth, and Zionists are criminals.” 

Mr. Netanyahu, while praising those who had walked out or had stayed away, castigated delegates who had remained in the General Assembly Hall to listen to Mr. Ahmadinejad, saying “… to those who gave this Holocaust denier a hearing, I say on behalf of my people, the Jewish people, and decent people everywhere: Have you no shame? Have you no decency?” 

“Yesterday the president of Iran stood at this very podium and spewed his anti-Semitic rants,” he said. “Just a few days earlier he claimed that the Holocaust was a lie.  Perhaps some of you think this man and his odious regime only threaten the Jews. Well, if you think that, you are wrong, dead wrong. What starts as attacks on Jews always ends up engulfing others. … This regime embodies the extremes of Islamic fundamentalism.” 

Drawing exact parallels to World War II’s carnage, Mr. Netanyahu said the “assault on truth” threatens a repeat of this bloody war and cited Winston Churchill’s warnings about metastasizing threats in the war’s run-up.  “The question facing the international community,” he said, “is whether it is prepared to confront these forces or just accommodate them.” 

Indeed, will the world community have the confidence to reach within itself, like Dorothy, to confront the evil that threatens its arrival in a place where “dreams… really do come true”—where the peoples of the Middle East finally learn to live in peace by acknowledging and respecting each other’s cultural and religious differences.

That violence is always blamed on those protesters by Ahamadinejad and other hardliners, as well as FARS and other state-run mouthpieces, all of whom are doing their damndest to demonize the Green protesters as enemies of the state, foreign agents, even domestic terrorists. Glad we don’t have that kind of stuff in America, huh? Ya, as if! What country are YOU living in?

What, in essence, are the Basiji? Are they not an ideologically and violently overzealous arm of the fascist Iranian thugocracy? Well, if terrorizing innocent citizens over ideology with full political backing is the key issue here, then what do you call the three menacing baton-swinging racist epithet-spewing New Black Panther Party poll watchers in Philadelphia, paid in full by Democrats, who uttered such overzealous statements as “you will soon be ruled by the black man, cracker”?

And what do you call the government that applied pressure from the highest levels to compel trial-eager career lawyers at DOJ who prepared the case for months to drop the charges, even with default convictions for violating the 1965 Civil Rights Act? Unheard of at Justice! Is that not whitewashing and enabling violence and intimidation at the highest levels? Just as no doubt happens with violent basijis every day in Iran? A free pass to be the best Brownshirts they can be?

Those racist thugs have been already been cleared to work the polls again in Philly next year! And perhaps town hall meetings on ObamaCare much sooner, given the President’s call to “get in our faces and hit back twice as hard!” NBPP poll watcher thug-in-chief and crakkka-killer wannabe Jerry Jackson is even an elected member of Philadelphia’s 14th Ward Democratic Committee, and has a COLORED ONLY sign outside his house. And we protesters are the ones “acting stupidly”?

Feeling Green yet, America? No? Okay, let’s mosey on over to St. Louis. Hey lookey there! Well whattaya know! Looks like some American Basijis in SEIU shirts and jackets just called a black conservative a nigger for selling Don’t Tread On Me flags, punched him in the face, and kicked him when he was down. I’d call that ideologically and violently overzealous. And it’s not just in St. Louis.

My Fellow Americans All, there is a dark and growing danger here. Let me lay it all out for you. In the past, when any administration’s bill or policy went as far south as ObamaCare (as Hillary’s own health care initiative went bad in 1993), even the most loyal Congressmen and women cut and ran, no matter how popular the president, if the answer to the question “Will this cost me my cushy job?” was in the affirmative. Yet even Hillary, who could not be more dedicated to the cause of socialized medicine, eventually dropped one of the major hot potatoes of her husband’s presidency.

By stark contrast, the reaction from today’s Left-leaning liberal Democrats in Congress, the White House and their Lefty lapdog media has not been to analyze the issues at hand, or to ask tough questions as to why Obama’s polls and support for ObamaCare are tanking, but an overwhelming, sweeping, indiscriminate and now-violent backlash against the American people as swastika-waving mobs of teabagging birthers and corporate lobbyist-paid right-wing Nazi extremists.

Sound familiar? Accusations of said mob rule at town halls by Congressional reps like Pelosi, Schumer and Durbin now abound. The packing of town halls with Democrat plants, now topped off with the unleashing of SEIU thugs on noisy yet peaceful non-violent protesters, followed by reports of violence at town hall meetings nationwide. Wasn’t a problem until SEIU showed up. Why is that?

This is no way to run a democracy, people. And it’s no way to run a “mainstream” press either. They’re all supposed to be OUR watchdogs looking out for OUR interests, not going to war with us or covering up real crimes! Nationwide days-long coverage for Dr. Skippy Gates over a hoax cry of racism, but not a newsflash for the racially slurred and beaten Kenneth Gladney? Need more? How about Keith Olbermann comparing ObamaCare protesters to Hamas and Hezbollah, and SEIU’s brand new “teabaggers” video blaming the protesters for the violence they themselves are causing?

You can see where this is all going, people. I see south. Way south. And the best way we can show our opposition to this violent and propagandistic assault on freedom of assembly, speech and expression is to show up at future town hall meetings in large peaceful numbers, just like Gandhi but as firm as Patton. Beat the SEIU and ACORN plants to the Potemkin town halls early. And always, ALWAYS bring your videocams! This goes way beyond ObamaCare now. This goes to the heart of who we are as a free people to express ourselves.

I guess that eternal vigilance being the price of liberty thing wasn’t far off the mark. In closing, I would strongly advise the Obama administration, the SEIU, liberal Democrats in Congress and their media lapdogs like Olbermann and Matthews that campaigning against, demonizing and scrapping violently with large swaths of innocent ordinary American citizens can come to no good end. Historically speaking. Lastly, Mister President, even Peggy Noonan thinks “You Are Terrifying Us.”

Send any concerns of your own to flag@whitehouse.gov. Looks fishy to me! The website, I mean

My pretty fourth-grade teacher, who taught us everything from math and history to a dash of entomology (study of insects), didn’t think so.  One day, unprompted, she told her class of 10-year-olds that she wasn’t really concerned about the Biafran babies because mass starvation was just nature’s way of controlling overpopulation.  (My parents were mortified.)

Margaret Sanger

Hard to fathom how, less than three decades after the Holocaust, any educated person could harbor such cold acceptance of the cruel suffering of fellow human beings - much less voice it (and to children, no less).  But whoever said the human race is on a one-way path to progress?

It’s widely assumed that, in every moment we’re alive, we’ve reached a new pinnacle – of modernity, experience, knowledge, enlightenment – that we always move forward, never back.  But what if we don’t?  What if we’re fated to make the same mistakes (disguised with innocuous new names) over and over again?

Fifty years before my lesson in urban savagery, Margaret Sanger, the Saint of Planned Parenthood, advocated beliefs that were not dissimilar to those of my twisted teach.  The fabled women’s rights activist was all about negative eugenics – meaning making sure ”social misfits” and other undesirables never got the chance to repulse the right people, by making sure they never got born.

“Birth control,” she declared in 1923, “is nothing more or less than the facilitation of the process of weeding out the unfit, or preventing the birth of defectives or of those who will become defectives.”  Her mission: to stop ”keeping alive thousands who never, in all human compassion, should have been brought into this world.”

Sanger was ambitious.  She actively advocated for sterilization of the great unwashed – the “feeble-minded, insane… deaf, deformed and dependent,” including “orphans, ne’er-do-wells, tramps, the homeless and paupers.”  Talk about a hard knock life.

Before she came along, President Teddy Roosevelt had responded to a drastic drop in the national birth rate with a more positive (but equally elitist) message.  He encouraged turn-of-the-century yuppies to do their primitive best and reproduce – to, in theory, bring more of the “right” kind of people into the world.  But the goddess of “choice” found hope only in curtailing options for the disenfranchised.

“I hated the wretchedness and hopelessness of the poor,” Sanger wrote, “and never experienced that satisfaction in working among them that so many noble women have found.”  Indeed, her whole life seems to have been spent rebelling against the devout Roman Catholicism of her parents; Sanger’s mother got pregnant a whopping 18 times (which probably explains a lot).

Yes, thanks to Sanger’s one-woman crusade, 8300 people were sterilized in the state of Virginia alone.  Her most famous casualty was a young rape victim named Carrie Buck, whose tubes were ultimately cut – against her will – because she was allegedly promiscuous and mentally “challenged” with a rocky family history.  “Three generations of imbeciles are enough,” Supreme Court justice Oliver Wendell Holmes famously wrote of the case.  Snip snip.

Betty Friedan

Forty years later, feminist Betty Friedan picked up the Puritanical, less-is-more torch and hailed the American family a “comfortable concentration camp.”  Easy to dismiss such a statement as cheeky rhetoric.  But even in our seemingly advanced society, fascism still seethes just beneath the surface - behind a smile, an empathetic word, a good intention.  People like to control people.

As Paul Johnson points out his absorbing bestseller, Intellectuals, “social engineering has been the salient delusion and the greatest curse of the modern age.  In the twentieth century it has killed scores of millions of innocent people, in Soviet Russia, Nazi Germany, Communist China and elsewhere…. It is the birthright of the totalitarian tradition.”

In the popular countdown, the number one eugenicists were obviously the Nazis, who took social engineering to nightmarish new heights.  But after the post-War baby boom of the 1950s, we got soft – resting on our liberators’ laurels and blindly trusting in the assumption that, as a species, we were finally evolving and growing.

In fact, revolving and shrinking is more like it.  As a good friend once said, “People don’t live long enough to learn anything.”

Gays and lesbians, for instance, were once an invisible minority in America.  In the 1950s, they were labeled mentally ill, often forced to undergo electro-shock therapy or sent off to asylums along with the rest of Sanger’s degenerates.  Yet in 2009, out and proud American LGBTs – exalted and protected by the media and endowed with all the legal rights to form civil unions (and, in some states, marriages) – march naively alongside the covert Stalinists of International ANSWER, whining that they “can’t breathe” in the redneck USA.

Never mind that we live in a country where even the former Republican Vice President – the father of an openly gay daughter - has publicly declared that “People ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish, any kind of arrangement they wish.”  (Which is a more forthright statement than any the Democratic President has said.)

Meanwhile, in the heterosexual paradise known as Iran, gays who dare to exist (or get caught doing so) continue to be executed, to the tune of about 15 deaths per month – with barely a peep of solidarity from the most powerful and affluent gay community in the Western world.

Recently, violence exploded in Tehran over the rigged re-election of murderous homophobe Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  Students and others were inspired by the daring and unusual sight of the opposition candidate – gasp! – holding his wife’s hand in public.  As protesters were bludgeoned and shot in the streets, what did the gay community here do?  They donned green (once upon a time done only on Thursdays), brazenly equated the Iranian riots with their armchair petulance over Obama’s (unsurprising) neglect - and courageously withheld checks from the DNC.

Newsflash: West Hollywood is not Tehran.

And sadly, Mir-Hussein Mousavi ain’t Michael Jackson.  The minute the King of Pop stopped breathing, the gays dumped their Iranian brethren to attack Perez Hilton on Twitter.  A few days later, President Obama officially killed gay solidarity with Iran: he distracted the griping gays with an overdue bone, hosting a Stonewall anniversary party in the East Room of the White House – and proclaimed “June 2009 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month.”  (What about June 2010?)

The LGBT community proved its collective attention span is no better than the average teenager’s.  Riots?  What riots? Memories of atrocities perpetrated against mankind no longer get passed down generation from generation; they end up on T-shirts.  Not even the gay community can remember its darkest days anymore – though God knows, they still love the drama!

As long as there are celebrity train wrecks, oppressed people will remain diversions.  Which makes me wonder: how will gays - or any Americans – react when faced with the next imminent threat?  Deadened by trendy moral relativism, will we even be able to recognize such a thing anymore?

If comfy, urban gays think they can’t “breathe” now, wait until they really start suffocating – not from the widely promoted ”fact” of greenhouse gases, rising seas, and over-population – but from a rapid rise in religious fundamentalism brought on as a direct result of the hardcore secular, anti-family, anti-life legislation most “progressives” support.  The gays will wish they could turn back time and vote for John McCain!

In his book, The Empty Cradle: How Falling Birthrates Threaten World Prosperity (and What to Do About It), author Phillip Longman presents demographic evidence that over-population is, like global warming, a myth (that the scientific community and the media can’t afford to give up).  Rather than growing, world population is actually shrinking, and at alarming speed - a concept that does not bode well for gays or any other “liberal” minority.

Why?  Because, writes Longman, unless people start having more babies – and fast - ”unsustainable trends end.”  Current global fertility rates are half what they were in 1972.  According to the Census Bureau, by 2050, one out of every five Americans will be over 65.  Imagine the seismic cultural shift Madison Avenue will have to make in order to attract that hot new 55-99 demographic!  You’ve come a long way, granny.

Yet our culture continues to promote endless, sexy images of successful, attractive, single individuals who are always in complete control of their personal choices and surroundings.

“Population growth underlies our modern concept of freedom,” Longman declares.  “Not since the fall of the Roman Empire has the world ever experienced anything on the scale of today’s loss of fertility.”  And when people die off, fundamentalism blossoms – to keep the species going.  Many of the attitudes we associate with the Victorian Era - religious revivalism, moral rigidity, gender role conformity, intolerance of birth control, glorification of motherhood – were actually rooted not in religion, but in demography.

The Industrial Revolution threw people into the cities, where children suddenly became economic burdens and obstacles to upward mobility.   Husbands and wives no longer worked together at home, the number of single women and prostitutes skyrocketed – so late Victorian housewives took it upon themselves to march the streets as moral crusaders for the good of society.

Yes, lesbians and gays (and suburban swingers) can look forward to a whole new generation of PC-resistant Anita Bryant mutations, fighting sin to save the children.  Escalating national debt – check! – and a soon-to-be-massively-overburdened ObamaCare bureaucracy – check! – could help Puritanical thrift and temperance make monstrous comebacks.

Previously gay-friendly friends and neighbors could become more suspicious of “alternate lifestyles,” not because the Bible or the Koran demands it – well, maybe the Koran - but because they would no longer be able to afford the luxury of such conduct.  “Those who reject modernity,” says Longman, ”seem to have an evolutionary advantage, whether they are clean-living Mormons, or Muslims… ”

To quote Turkey’s Prime Minister, Recep Tayyip Erdogan:  “Have babies – Allah wants it.”

According to the London Times, the number of Muslims living in the UK grew by half a million between 2004 and 2008 alone – a growth rate 10 times that of the rest of the country’s population.   And this isn’t by accident.  In Australia, for instance, British-based Sheik Abdul Raheem Green exhorted Muslim couples to have no less than four children each - to ensure that the land down under becomes a pure Islamic state.

Today, there are no less than 85 Shariah courts operating in the UK.  As columnist Peter Whittle recently pointed out in the Telegraph, a ”survey by Policy Exchange… showed that 72 percent of young Muslim men thought that homosexuality should be recriminalised,” reminding that “there are some pretty disturbing things being said by some Imans about what is best for gays, i.e. death.”  (Could it, perchance, be time for American gays to rethink their hostility towards the Mormons?  Just asking.)

So-called “youth gangs,” contemptuous of infidels – that’s us - have made cities all over Europe increasingly dangerous for women, Jews and gays.  The upside is that the rise in gay-bashings by young Muslims has caused many hitherto left-wing Dutch gays to vote conservative by a nearly 2-to-1 margin.

Yet good American progressives continue to shill for a nanny state, willfully ignoring the fact that socialism in Sweden and the Soviet Union failed miserably to maintain even replacement-level fertility rates – never mind the gaping holes a shrinking populace puts in the sails of the environmental windjammer.  What a concept: mankind might actually be part of Mother Gaia, after all; without resorting to killer tax hikes, health care rationing, or concentration camps, we may just destroy ourselves naturally!  So recycle while ye may!

And fasten your seat belts, boys – or start hooking up with some surrogate moms quick.  Because unless we actively try to keep the species going, we’re ushering in what Longman calls “the fundamentalist moment… a fundamentalist future.”  As the saying goes, everything old becomes new again – be it positive eugenics, the Jackson Five, or the Islamic Caliphate.

So the next time you’re up in a plane, looking down at the earth, and you see a bunch of tiny dots moving across the landscape like ants, remember that’s all we are: bugs on a rotating ball.  Mother Nature has a plan for us, and she’s in no hurry to tell us what it is.

In the meantime, don’t get too comfortable, because it only takes a moment to step out of line, fall out of favor – and get smushed.

I was granted an interview with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (totally serious).  After waiting for several hours with our heavily armed security guard (also not kidding) at Ahmadinejad’s hotel, we were informed that the great leader was retiring early to bed.  We were then given another diplomat to interview and that is when the hilarity ensued (for me, definitely not for him).

For instance, consider the uproar from the left when Don Imus opened his silly yap about the black women on the Rutgers basketball team.  Now compare that to their response when David Letterman made his smarmy cracks about Sarah Palin and the governor’s 14-year-old daughter.  The liberals immediately sprang to his defense, pointing out that Letterman is nothing more than a TV personality and is therefore free to make offensive jokes without fear of censure.  So what do they think Don Imus is?  The secretary of state? 

Or consider how choleric those on the left become any time that Dick Cheney defends the former administration.  Well, if Obama and his cronies didn’t constantly attack Bush and Cheney and their policies, the chances are the ex-vice president wouldn’t feel compelled to set the record straight. Furthermore, Jimmy Carter never stopped bashing George Bush during the eight years he was the president, and yet nobody on the left ever suggested he shut up.  On the contrary, he was hailed at the 2004 Democratic convention, and even had the honor of being seated next to the patron saint of left-wingers, Michael Moore.  Speaking of Carter, how is it that he, who is always volunteering to monitor elections anywhere on earth, including the Westminster Dog Show, wasn’t in Iran, making sure that Ahmadinejad got 110% of the vote? 

Liberals never got tired of telling us how much George Bush was despised by those in other countries, although, for the record, I kept asking the loons to name those countries, but could never prompt a response.  I assume even they were too embarrassed to mention Iran, North Korea, China, Yemen and Russia.  Instead, they kept insisting that America should be more like Europe.  Inasmuch as conservative politicians are winning elections in England and all over the continent these days, the people finally waking up to the unmitigated disaster socialism is, I could now join in the chorus.  But, of course, so far as leftists are concerned, I’d now be singing a solo. 

I have to wonder, though, how much non-Muslim nations trust our current president.  It’s one thing, after all, to travel to other countries and talk a lot of diplomatic flapdoodle, but when Barack Obama takes every opportunity to tell the world how awful we are — or at least how awful we were until he got elected — it has to make people wonder if, like his missus, he had never been proud of America prior to his canonization by the media. 

It doesn’t make things a lot better when he makes obviously foolish remarks, such as insisting that the U.S. is one of the largest Muslim nations, and that Muslims played a major role in the creation of our republic. 

That one really had me reeling, so I went back to my trusty old history book and looked it up and, sure enough, he was correct.  Right there in black and white, I discovered that among the most influential of the Founding Fathers were Abdullah Washington, Mahmoud Adams and Osama bin Jefferson.

And let me make this perfectly clear, even if they do say Jehovah!

Sentence must be read before being carried out. And unlike Soraya M., the board members of the Asylum of Motion Picture Airheads and Stooges will deserve every rock that’s thrown their way. I also believe that, in light of events in Iran today, the following commentary will stand out in much starker prominence than it did when I first started reporting on them in early March, when Team Oscar first set off for the Unfriendly Skies of Islamist Iran.

The backstory. In late February, the decision by AMPAS (as defined above) to send the Nine Stooges to the fascist hostage-taking, women-stoning, gay-exterminating Islamic Republic of Iran (at that time, things may be changing) set me off hotter than a Kim Jong Il nuke. Five days after the gay rights infomercial Oscars, no less! My gay rights heroes.

Somebody give ‘em an Oscar! For what it’s worth nowadays. Sean Penn getting an Oscar for playing a gay rights hero with his sorry track record on the subject is like Yasser Arafat, Jimmy Carter and Al Gore getting Nobel Prizes. They just ain’t worth what they used to be these days.

But I digress. On With The Show Biz Trial.

For ten days and uncounted humiliating punkings in early March, Team Oscar was a national embarrassment and a disgrace to this country and people, and an affront to the innocent Iranians suffering under a yoke of oppression not seen since Hitler’s Third Reich. A yoke which they are desperately and bravely fighting and even dying to cast off even as we speak.

And now, despite all that transpired back then, and all that is happening now in Iran, AMPAS is looking to whitewash the whole affair as a Bob Hope and Bing Crosby Road trip! Not on my watch! Fat fucking chance! Can you imagine how Iranian gays felt, watching the same people who facilitated tearful speeches on “gay rights for everyone” socializing and galivanting around town with the very monsters who were hunting them down, torturing and killing them?

If that alone isn’t a stoning offense, then nothing is.

Some may consider my charges harsh, even unreasonably so. So be it. Brutal Injustice and rank hypocrisy bring out the Zarqawi in me. But I will present to you, Dear Hollywood non-Academy Readers and Fine Fellow Americans everywhere, the foul evidence at hand in toto.

When charges have been read, and sentence is to be passed, I will leave it to the rest of you stoners as to which direction your rocks should fly. But first, to put the matter into Supreme Court-like perspective, look at the precedent law upon which I base my charges and my case.

THE WORLD v. SOUTH AFRICA

In 1985, during the oppressive Apartheid era of South Africa’s all-white fascist regime, actors, artists, producers and many fine musicians like Little Stevie van Zandt and The Boss, Bruce Springsteen, united to make a statement against that racist government, which held Nelson Mandela behind bars unjustly for 29 years, and murdered noted anti-apartheid activist Steven Biko while in police custody. That murder was memorialized in the Peter Gabriel song of the same name.

In conjunction with worldwide sanctions and divestment of business from South Africa at the time, the musical statement made by that group of most talented artists, better know as Artists United Against Apartheid, was immortalized in the song Sun City, which became a smash hit worldwide. We all know the rest of the story. The white South African government eventually folded, and Nelson Mandela was freed and then elected to the presidency.

What were South Africa’s crimes besides just Mandela’s imprisonment and Biko’s murder? Officially enforced racial segregation and subjugation, violent repression and the banning of opposition political parties. Certainly more than enough justification for international outrage, and both official and unofficial sanctions.

Yet compared to the current theocratic Hitlerite thugocracy running the Islamic Republic of Iran, which the world is also widely sanctioning today, South Africa’s Apartheid government was operating an island paradise fit for Chinese Uighurs. In Iran, political empowerment is nonexistent, and has been since the 1979 Islamic revolution.

All the power is in the hands of Supreme Leader Ali Khamanei and the Mad Mullah Guardian Council. Reform was impossible. Any measure passed by Iran’s Parliament, the Majlis, deemed ‘un-Islamic’ by the Mad Mullahs could be overturned on review. The Church is the State in Iran. Like a nationwide Westboro Baptist Church from Hell. Only worse. Much worse.

Examples. Children are routinely executed, gays are hunted down, tortured and brutally exterminated, and women and young girls are stoned and hanged, even for the crime of being raped. Until international outrage interceded, as happened vis-a-vis Roxana Saberi, seventeen-year-old Nazanin Fatehi was awaiting a death sentence for the crime of stabbing and killing one of the three God-fearing Islamists who attempted to rape her and her niece in a West Tehran park.

Here is a 27-minute documentary that re-enacts the attempted rape and the unbelievably misogynist injustice which followed. Had the world not screamed so loud in outrage, Nazanin would have suffered the same fate as that of twenty-year-old Delara Derabi, who was hanged by the Islamic Republic only six weeks ago. Iran has held mass hangings as recently as May 14th. And given the official death penalty announcement for Mousavi protesters, many more may follow depending on the outcome of current events.

This doesn’t even take into account the fact that many in Iran’s terror-sponsoring Islamist extremist leadership, including ‘moderate’ Hashemi Rafsanjani and recent presidential candidate Mohsen Rezai, former head of Iran’s Revolutionary Guard and former ‘diplomat’ to Argentina, are wanted by Interpol for their involvement in the worst terror attacks in Argentina’s history back in 1994. An Interpol warrant was issued for Rezai as recently as May 22nd.

Here is a piece I wrote back in early March, branding the regime as today’s Third Reich. Look at all the horrific and barbaric evidence of crimes against humanity committed both at home and abroad, and you tell me if I’m overstating the case. Keep also in mind that Hamas and Hezbollah terrorists are now in the streets of Iran, beating and killing the same Iranians who have supported and patronized the Islamist groups for decades.

Taking time out from killing innocent Jews to killing innocent Iranians. No surprise there, since the regime already kills its own people on an assembly line basis. Even bloggers. Given all this brutal evidence of the Iranian thugocracy’s bloody track record which spans the globe, I ask you, Dear Readers of jurisprudence and humble advocates of human rights for all, how was the Islamic Republic of Iran worthy of cultural diplomatic exchange, and South Africa not?

They should be forming Artists United Against Insanity to oppose Iran’s theocratic thugocracy, not flying over for tea, fingers cookies, and film seminars! Disgraceful!

Charges as follows. Bear with me. It’s a longer list than you think.

1. THE FIRST PUNKING OF FAR TOO MANY

Even though AMPAS was promised no politics would be involved in the visit, Team Hollywood was no sooner off the tarmac at Khomeini Airport in Tehran than they were totally punked by the best punks in the world, with harsh demands for apologies and submission by Iranian leaders over the films 300 and The Wrestler, or they wouldn’t get to meet their Iranian film buds. Curiously, Team Oscar was allowed to meet with their Iranian counterparts shortly thereafter. My question to the Academy is this: did they apologize or not?

Iif you recall, what so outraged Iranian government stooges over The Wrestler was Mickey Rourke breaking an Iranian flag and tossing it into the crowd. Deliciously ironic, considering the desecration of our flag is a national sport with the regime. There was also a declaration by Iran’s Foreign Ministry spokesman, Hassan Qashqavi, that thirty films currently in production in Hollywood were ‘anti-Iranian.’

Civilized governments don’t act like that. Yet I broke the punking story in America to Drudge and Nikki Finke because I knew something like that was going to happen. I was looking for it. Hell, the regime has been punking us for thirty years! Ahmadinejad had even said Hollywood was devoid of all culture and art. Something’s Gotta Give. I must admit, however, that maybe Ahmie was onto something with that comment. Never thought I’d agree with anything the Little Hitler said.

Academy politics makes strange bedfellows, I reckon.

That infamous Punking Heard ‘Round the World should have proved to all concerned that President Obama’s attempt at diplomacy through Team Oscar was a horrendous failure, as all other efforts since have been. Like the Khamenei-led Death to America rallies in response to Obama’s peace video. Yet Team Oscar suffered that humiliation and degradation only to suffer many more. And the rest of us, since Team Oscar represented us over there as a nation as well.

Some were even worse, if you can believe it. In short, if somebody wrote a script like this, no one would ever believe it. But I already read the book. Been reading it since 1979.

2. TEAM OSCAR’S STOOGES TRAIN IRAN’S PROPAGANDA STOOGES

Iran ‘film industry’ experts, many of whom Stooge Team Oscar no doubt gave seminars to, gave their own previous film seminars on Iran TV on the Ziono-Hollywoodist conspirators for making such anti-Iranian celluloid slanders as Harry Potter, Chicken Run and Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. And let’s not forget the Jew Disney’s cartoon conspiracy, Tom and Jerry. Also deliciously ironic, considering Iran exports child martyrdom cartoons across the Middle East, a business so thriving the BBC called it, in blackly comic Joker-like fashion, ‘booming.’

I can understand the cultural aspect Team Hollywood pursued. I even respect it. But in my opinion, given the circumstances, it was the equivalent of sending a cultural team to Hitler’s Berlin during the Holocaust. The real great Iranian filmmakers were all heel-ground. The ones who aren’t languish in Evin prison or are awaiting kangaroo court religious tribunals, like Iranian-American Esha Momeni, for the celluloid slander of interviewing Iranian women for a womens rights documentary for her master’s degree.

Filmmaker Tehmineh Milani was sentenced to death for her celluloid slander. Again, only international and, in Ms. Milani’s case, even domestic outrage saved her neck from the rope. Another filmmaker, the French-Iranian Mernousche Solouki, was thrown into Evin prison for the crime of stumbling across a mass grave.

Here’s Ms. Solouki’s recounting of the event. She still suffers nightmares from her experience in Evin. I read that, and other horror stories of the Gestapo-like Evin prison when Roxana Saberi was still there. Horrified me. I know her father must have known of that. He’s from Iran. He must know. They all do. I can’t even imagine how he felt with Roxana there. Again, the South Africa analogy.

Yet despite all those goings-on, Annette Bening took time out to tell the world how great women’s rights were in Iran. Which brings us straight to Team Oscar’s next great offense.

3. ROXANA SABERI AND THE SOUND OF SILENCE

Throughout Roxana’s unlawful detention, i.e. hostage status as a political pawn, and bogus conviction on trumped-up espionage charges, Team Oscar couldn’t have been more silent or unheard from than Roxana herself. Not one public message of support for either Roxana or the Academy during her unlawful detention in Evin, never mind anyone else in Hollywood except us right-wing extremists. In fact, the whole human rights-championing left-wing PRAVDA-like MSM and government pulled a complete disappearing act on Roxana right after Hillary demanded her release, like she was bad press for the Obamamessiah to be swept under the rug.

At the time, my linked article above generated twenty times more Google hits than the entire media coverage combined. It’s at over 7300 hits now, more than 100 times the number of hits generated on Google vis-a-vis coverage of Roxana in late March.  I’m still getting hits on it. I don’t think people can believe what they’re seeing still. But I digress. You get the point.

No public statement of support from Team Oscar for Roxana that I can find. Team Oscar member William Horberg’s Iran blog made no mention whatsoever of Roxana’s unlawful captivity, or any plea they might have made on Roxana’s behalf to Iranian authorities. I have to assume none was made. Perhaps the Academy could clear up that matter, too. Inquiring Minds Want To Know.

Knowing the King of Hearts-like unreality that resides in the La La Land of AMPAS HQ, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least to hear any of them claim credit for Roxana’s release in the future, or even for the green revolution going on in Iran today. If they do, just remember Annette praising the regime’s great women’s rights record while Roxana was still in Evin. For starters.

That should clear things up.

What was really depressing to me throughout Roxana’s Hostage Crisis was how few in Hollywood spoke up on her behalf, when no one knew whether she would live or die. That will forever be a black stain on those who profess to be the greatest human rights champs in the world.

4. OF STOOGES FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC

Perhaps the most vocal filmmaker during Team Oscar’s prolonged humiliation in Iran was domestic thugocracy stooge and new Team Oscar BFF Alireza Davudnejad, who wrote an open letter to President Obama claiming that the only road to peace, freedom and justice in this world was for the President to destroy all of America’s nuclear weapons and give up its UN veto.

Mr. Davudnejad also requested a schedule as to when those world-shaking peace, freedom and justice-inducing landmarks would be carried out. This, from a regime that foments war, writes injustice into its penal codes, crushes freedom with an iron boot, and races to build nuclear weapons they swear to Allah and their own people they’ll use on Israel just as soon as they’re built.

Now THAT’S Comedy! Fortunately, the President didn’t fall for it. If he had, it would have been the Punking Of All Time. No punking for Mr. Ali-Duh, but a gold star on the forehead for effort. Mr. Davudnejad did, however, manage to give a closing backhand to his new BFF, Team Oscar:

“My last recommendation is not to follow your previous cultural policies and avoid your Hollywood friends from playing any tricks to dominate the cinemas of Iran. The United States once removed Iranian cinema from the Iranian life with the help of the former dictatorship; and sacrificed our industry with the import of foreign films.

The fallen cinema of Iran has once again regained its footing with the Islamic Revolution and has been fighting to survive for thirty years. We will not forgive the enemies of this cinema wherever they are. By the way, which is harder, to relinquish the veto right, or to forbear the domination of Iran’s cinema again? You have a hard path ahead. I pray for you. Only the right path has no deviation.”

How about neither, Ali-DUH? Over my freakin’ dead body! Go sit on a projector!

By the way, you got all that, Sid, Annette, and the rest of you Ziono-Hollywoodist conspirators? No more tricks! Or they won’t even let you apologize next time!

Q. What was the difference between Team Oscar and Ali-Duh in Iran?

A. He’s a domestic film industry stooge.

Yet another degrading episode Team Oscar let slide. I guess they’re more on the M side of S&M. Seeing as they represented all of us in a diplomatic capacity, so were we. How does it feel? Mr. Ganis also stood by for yet another punking by the Director of Iran’s House of Cinema, one of many he seemed unfazed by. Some people are just gluttons for punishment, I guess.

As a comic relief sidebar, the culture ministers who approved Team Oscar’s trip were summoned before an angry Majlis, Iran’s parliament, to explain who let the Great Satan into their pure Islamist paradise. But that’s how it goes. Nobody is safe in Punkedville. Even the punks! No word on if the ministers apologized, but it was rumored Mr. Ganis couldn’t find his ministerial escort anywhere.

Hell, they’re the liberals in Iran! Fuggeddaboutit!

5. THE BURQA BABES OF BABYLON

It would seem that, as Team Oscar was reeling from their hot-off-the-tarmac punking, the Mad Mullahs used the opportunity to wrap up the goils like mummies in burqas. They may call it a fashion statement or cultural sensitivity, but why didn’t they make a bold statement by wearing Western dress the whole time, instead of looking like every other oppressed woman in Iran?

6. THE GENOCIDE PRIDE PARADES, or BOY, CAN THESE GUYS THROW AN O-BASH!

On March 6th, the same day Iranian authorities promised to release Roxana Saberi ’soon’ after SOS Clinton’s demand the day before, news broke of the ICC warrant issued for Sudan’s genocidal leader, General Omar Bashir. It was an insult, an offense and a crime against humanity (Majlis Speaker Lari Alijani’s words, not mine) against the Iranian regime’s BFF O-Bash.

In response, the entire upper leadership of Iran’s thugocracy, along with their Islamist Gestapo Blackshirt stooges from Hamas and Hezbollah (the same ones beating and killing Mousavi protesters this week), took to the streets of Tehran AND Khartoum, the very streets where the genocide was and is being committed to this day, to throw genocide parades for human vampire and Dear Leader Bashir.

Now, what should you do if you know your host country is officially celebrating the most abominable crime known to man in the streets below your gilded cages? Do you a. speak up in outrage? Do you b. hightail it out of Dodge as fast as you can? My answers are a and b. Team Oscar’s appears to have been c. keep the tea and finger cookies coming, Ahmie! Now I don’t know the law in that situation, so maybe some fine Hollywood lawyer could tell me. Is that being silent accomplices?

See, I believe genocide parades are a crime in themselves, as though other nations were celebrating Hitler in the streets of Berlin and their own streets, had Hitler been charged by the League of Nations for genocide during the Holocaust. But that’s just me.

SUBPLOT: I just read that O-Bash flew to Zimbabwe on June 10th. He’s wanted for genocide. Why is he being allowed to fly all over Africa and the Middle East with impunity? What, we don’t have aircraft carriers out there that could send up a couple fighter jets to escort Blacula to justice?

7. AHMADINEJAD’S WILLIE HORTONS

As a bonus, highlighted by Ahmadinejad’s condemnation of Hollywood as devoid of culture and art, and followed up by the summoning of ministers to the Majlis over Team Oscar’s invite, both Ahmadinejad and Supreme Asswipe Khamenei used Team Oscar as their Willie Horton in the recent elections. You know. Who let the Great Satan in?

So rather than fostering a liberalization of Iran, as they no doubt naively thought, they instead served as a political tool with which hardliners could beat moderates over the head with. Considering the extreme Islamist nature of Iranian politics (as least last week), they made the situation for moderates even worse. The only thing they didn’t appear to do was make the political ads themselves. But they did train the propaganda stooges who no doubt made any, if any were made.

Damage done either way. Hooray For Hollywood!

THAT’S A WRAP!

I suppose I could rummage for even more egregious offenses, and glaring or willfully blind oversights. But I have far more than enough to convict. If you seek more for purely historical reference, feel free to check all my linked articles above. You’ll find ‘em. My problem was trying to choose which offenses and oversights to pick from.

WILLIAM HORBERG FOR THE DEFENSE

Currently posted at the Academy website is the following prosaic account by William Horberg of Team Oscar’s late-term abortion of a trip to Iran: The Road To Isfahan. Let’s hear what he has to say in Team Oscar’s defense before we stone them. That may seem predicative of the outcome, but remember, these offenses took place in Iran. Islamist extremist rules apply. Got it now?

Actually, just check the link above. We’ll stone ‘em now and rule ‘em guilty later. I mean, come on people. Given the evidence, they may as well have been jumping up and down and screaming “Jehovah!” Time to get stoned. And if you’ve misplaced yours, here’s another one.

IN CLOSING

Now, I fully condemn the shooting of Dr. Tiller by lone madman Scott Roeder in Kansas, as all right-minded human beings should. But I would fully endorse the shooting of whatever single-digit IQ Academy PR doctors were behind this afterbirth. They Shoot Horses’ Asses In Hollywood, Don’t They? If anyone at the Academy had any brains, they’d be stocking up on ammunition like a right-wing extremist Timothy McVeigh-like Montana militia for that very purpose right now!

QUALIFIER: Yes, I’m kidding. No need to call DHS just yet, thank you very much. Besides, you’re as likely to find a gun at Academy HQ as you are a hymen on Heidi Fleiss.

Despite the current brain-dead off-the cliff lemming leadership at AMPAS today, I love film. I love Hollywood I even love the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences. Always have. Broke my heart to declare war on them. I even told them so. But all the above is Casus Belli. Gloves are off.

The blackest irony of all? I was in the middle of writing a loving screwball comedy tribute to Oscar when the news of their trip broke! By the way, I even warned them that if they tried giving all this Iran shite the Red Carpet treatment, I’d pull the rug out from under them. And I know and they know I’ve caused a lot of PR damage already over their Iran trip, both here at Big Hollywood and elsewhere.

My Iran opeds since the PUNK’D piece on Nikki Finke February 28th are pushing 30,000 hits at one blog alone. Can’t anyone in this business keep their mouth shut? How stupid can you be? Are they total masochistic gluttons for punishment? Oh yeah, I already covered that. Drop that last one off at the Department of Redundancy Department, LOL! In the meantime, I’ll do my best to have the Nine Stooges ejected off the Academy board and into the Pacific.

Now, I’ve had some very juicy tastes of Tinseltown. The Red Carpet A-List circuit in Beverly Hills and Los Angeles. I’m not a Guild Member, but my first screenplay got a number of finalist nods from some of the toughest Emmy-winning and Oscar-nominated contest judges in Hollywood. And I got an option with it. I got some chops. And I’ve only gotten better over the years through hard work, practice and learning. I know that because industry pros doing my coverage told me so.

But you know what? As much as I wanted to trash that story and never write another word in screenplay format again, I love that script. Put a lot of love and time into it. Think it’s my best work so far. So does my writing partner. In fact, I’m going to finish that script very shortly. And I’m going to finish it in the spirit in which I started: with love, tenderness and affection, even towards Academy members I wrote into the script with boundless love that I totally detest now.

How? I call it professional detachment. Like sniping Nazis as I lovingly listen to Mozart. Best of, worst of. I don’t let politics poison my scripts. I’ll leave the Lefties to do that. I’d rather not bomb at the box office. And I’ll have coverage done by someone I know and trust networked into the industry like a spiderweb. If I get a nearly impossible grade of RECOMMEND and it doesn’t move, I know my self-inflicted film industry Hiroshima is complete.

But you know what, people? I’ll take as many of them with me as I can, just like the wounded Mickey Rooney in Ambush Bay offering Japanese soldiers pineapples. He had plenty for everybody. Point being, I won’t stand for this crap and let it slide just to sell a script. This matter goes way beyond film to me. Look at it this way. AMPAS spends four hours championing gay rights at the last Oscars, then flies off to Iran to give that gay-butchering regime its gold-plated PR kiss, even praising women’s rights in the most violently misogynist regime on earth? STUFF IT!

God, how I wished I lived in the era of the Hollywood of an earlier day, when the top stars flocked to the service of their country, instead of the service of thuggish and violent dictators like Chavez, Castro and Ahmadinejad. By the way, Sean Penn holds the Trifecta of Shame on that one.

Let me be explicitly clear that I believe extreme left-wing morons like Sean Penn, Danny Glover and Harry “Bananas” Belafonte are the minority in Hollywood. Squeaky left-wing wheels get all the grease. I know a lot of great people in the industry personally. And I can’t praise highly enough Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Mia Farrow, Jim Carrey, Gary Sinise, Robert Davi and so many great USO supporters like Saddam million dollar bounty-offering Bruce Willis, Scarlett Johansson, Jack Black and Ben Stiller.

There are really too many to name. But you know who they are. As to the distinct minority, I will quote my former Obama-like governor and liberal tank commander Michael Dukakis for the first time in my life: “A fish rots from the head down.”

Tom Hanks dares to call gay marriage opponents un-American? Well, if President Obama, most Americans and 52% of Californians are un-American for not supporting gay marriage, what is Tom Hanks and the rest of the Motion Picture Asylum guilty of for signing off on a trip to a regime that hunts gays online, raids gay parties, tortures them horribly and then hangs them from crane wires to die agonizing deaths that can take up to an hour, as they did with two gay teenage boys?

There’s too much blanket idiocy in Hollywood. Megan Fox, jokingly telling the Transformers to take out all the white trash to save the earth, the irony totally lost on her. The Twitter crowd at afterellen.com. Like Adrianne Curry, who calls Prop 8 a human rights offense, but remains dead silent on the holocausts against LGBTs in Iran and Iraq. Why isn’t Dustin Lance Black screaming to the skies about this stuff? I couldn’t find any evidence of him opposing the AMPAS Iran trip on purely humanitarian grounds. WHY NOT?

No. I, a straight conservative Republican screenwriter, offended to my very core by the savagery of Shiite extremist gay death squads in Iran and Iraq, have to be the one screaming to the skies about LGBT terrorists who engage in atrocities even the Nazis can’t compare to. Like super-gluing gay men’s anuses shut and pumping them full of diarrhea cocktails so the gay killers, some on our tax dime, can catch a few pious laughs as their victims endure unimaginable agony before dying.

No. I am left with the dirty jobs and lonely tasks of networking REAL gay advocates like Michael Petrelis and the Gay Patriot blog over these inhuman gay horrorshows. I am the one who has to research and dispatch gruesome reports to sites like BestGayBlogs.com, and LGBT orgs all over the globe like LGBT Network EU. I am the one left to scrape around for signatures on petitions at Iranian Queer Railroad and Iraqi LGBT to save the lives of Iranian and Iraqi LGBTs, who live in fear of torture and unimaginable horrors the incredibly spoiled toddler-like Hollywood Leftie morons and unmarried gays of California will never know.

As a screenwriter, I now know what it feels like to work under an offensive and idiotic oligarchy that is totally brain-dead and out of touch with the realities of the world at large, and those whom they profess to lead. In that respect, though I do not agree with them, I now understand the passionate outrage Lefties felt during the reign of the Bushitler. Like Michael Moore’s and Al Franken’s bloviations during that dark time, I do not expect my heated rants to impact my Golden Bubble-insulated industry oligarchy one whit.

In fact, I fully expect it to to earn me black marks and disfavor, the full McCarthy treatment they so profess to detest, yet practice every goddamn day. Ron Silver, anyone? But like the aforementioned Twin Towers of Leftie-ism, I care not one whit what the ruling establishment thinks. My anger is righteous and justified. In fact, it could not be moreso. What’s happening in Iran and Iraq are de facto gay genocides. What cause could be more righteous than trying to stop those?

Screw sexual conduct! They’re innocent human beings targeted for extermination. They don’t deserve that barbaric treatment. No one does, except the blood-drinking Islamist Gestapo stooges that are doing it all! If that revolution in Iran goes through and the people win, somebody Tweet them to hang on to all the crane wires. They’re gonna need a lot. For the Hamas and Hezbollah Blackshirts, too.

If my harsh words mean my film career is dead, so be it. In fact, if I came to Hollywood for no other reason than to address the horrific hypocrisy of so-called gay and human rights champs who are anything but (some like Bening and Penn even extremely damaging to those they don the mantle of Human Rights Champs for), or to champion the cause of Iraqi and Iranian LGBTs unlike any cause I’ve ever championed based on purely humanistic outrage, then I will feel that my life will have had meaning.

If I have helped to save the life of only one Iraqi or Iranian gay, I have saved the world entire. I can go to my grave totally at peace with myself. If I must bury my screenwriting career ahead of me, this is a small price to pay. So many others, like those now on the streets of Iran fighting and dying for the freedoms that are as natural to us as breathing, or risk brutal torture and horrific death merely for sexual conduct or being raped, are paying far higher prices than we most likely ever will.

In closing, I am resigning from Big Hollywood. I came here on a mission nearly four months ago to bring attention to all I have highlighted above. All the in-between was a bonus. And I do have a comedy piece in the hopper, which is rare for me. Haven’t had much to laugh about lately. Which is why I want to return full-time to screenwriting as well. There’s enough tragedy on Planet Earth. If I can use my award-nominated humor to inspire laughter and comic relief, then that is my main mission now. The rest I leave to the card deck of fate.

If I return, it will be in the cause of those who cannot speak for themselves. There is no shortage of hacks and pundits flame-throwing politics these days, and there are far too many not flame-throwing at all on issues that should enrage them beyond measure. As I am enraged today. Certainly beyond politics.

I do not need anger management. Like Johnny Rotten sang with Public Image Limited, Anger is an Energy. Righteous anger is what freed South Africa. Righteous anger fills the streets of Tehran as we speak. Righteous anger is why we Americans no longer say to each other, “G’day, Mate! ‘Ow about a pint and some bangers and mash? Got some up in me lorry! God Bless the Queen!”

In closing, God Bless The Queen anyway. And God Bless America. I say that as an agnostic secularist, okay? It’s good luck! And may God look down a lot more kindly on the poor LGBTs in Iran and Iraq. Perhaps, if there is a God, and I’m hedging my bets here, I hope his hand is in events in Iran. Maybe with a youth-driven revolution, LGBTs, filmmakers. students, dissidents, bloggers, and raped women need not fear for their lives anymore, or offered the choice of castration or death if they wish to remain gay.

What? Did you think Ahmadinejad was kidding when he said there were no gays in Iran? He said it with the same certainty Hitler said there were no Jews in Germany. The discussion is moot. I really hope to God that changes, as Iran itself seems to be right now.

We do, however, have a most powerful hand in Iraq. The gay killings must stop. The gay death squads must be disbanded with an iron fist. Just like Al Qaeda. Or, to tell the truth, I don’t care if Al Qaeda takes the place over. I would feel the same way if I were in West Berlin in 1947 and the locals were still hunting down and killing Jews. Let the Red Army move in.

Uncle Joe, they’re all yours! Bin Laden, they’re all yours! Let them ALL share in the terror they love with a religious fervor! OR, they can wise up and join the human race. If not, screw ‘em. Let ‘em go back to Al Qaeda torture houses and eating bombs for breakfast. I may not be gay myself. No, really. But must one be Jewish to be totally repulsed by Auschwitz?

Good Luck and Good Night, all. Peace. I hope

A. More than they have, apparently!

Remember student council elections in high school? You took it so seriously… As if you just elected the right person you’d get rock music over the PA in the morning and no final exams. When I look at things like the beauty contest election in Iran for President, an office with about the same amount of power as class president, I wonder how afraid the puppeteers on the council of twelve high muckity-mucks must be that they won’t allow someone who they had to approve to run for office actually win.

In a statement the Guardian Council said they might be willing to have a limited recount of some ballot boxes. Remind you of anything? That is exactly what the Al Goristas wanted to do in Florida a few years back. Fortunately for us (you too, Progressives), we let the lawyers handle it while we had a cookout and a few beers and when it was over we traded snide comments rather than bullets in the streets.

Here is the thing about the election, the Guardian Council and Iran’s Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, said that Ahmadinejad won 63% of the vote. I think if you are going to tell a lie you should at least make it a believable lie. Like folks who listened to Wilt Chamberlin claim how many women he had slept with or Clinton saying he smoked but didn’t inhale, I think the average Iranian just has a problem thinking his guy got beat that badly. I think the over/under was only 55%.

Another problem is that the Supreme Leader (what a great title!) has already said that the election results were a “divine verdict.” That’s a tough position to back away from when you are not only the political leader of a country but its religious one as well. A Mr. Abbasali Kadkhodai, who is a spokesman for the Guardian Council, said there might be some changes to the vote tally. So you see, maybe the current puppet president won by only getting 61%. Our Bad!

The Iranian government has termed the protests “unauthorized gathering” and Janet Napolitano wishes she had thought of that term before the Tea Parties!

The shame for Bush’s whatever-he-did-every-day was palpable by the left. Ask your favorite lefty what Bush did right and they’ll likely only talk about his help with the Africa AIDS epidemic, and even then it was probably just to look good to all of those voters who are Africans with AIDS. They were ashamed of his Texas-ness, his swagger and for the first time we declared that “go-it-alone” wasn’t an American quality. Somehow, Kim Jong-il would be better under Obama. We would talk together, and he would listen. But Kim Jong-Ronery has upped his missile launches since Bush left office.

I’m still trying to figure out how Obama will blame Bush for the eventual missile attack on South Korea. The problem will not start with the Clinton administration, because we already learned from the college professors that bad things happened between 1980 and 1992, then nothing bad happened for 8 years. Then every evil in the world resumed between 2000 and 2008. I know we’re still not supposed to criticize the White House until the world’s longest 100 day honeymoon ends in 2012.

Given Obama’s failures, why does the left still feel a resounding victory just with Obama showing up? Because it was never about policies, given Obama’s speech to the Muslim world was so similar to Bush’s hand wringing that one wonders if they had the same speech-writer. We’re told that just Obama’s tone, his presence, his smooth leadership style is what makes the sale. But nothing is better with this president. Is this why he ran on Hope because that’s all I’m gonna get for four years?

I’m not impressed with his tone. I’d take great policies with horrible tone at this point. He reminds me of the Mommy-in-Chief promising to coddle every wound…real or perceived. He reaches out to apologize to Muslim countries I wasn’t aware we had sinned against. If anything, those governments should apologize to us for not being as great as America. Every country should apologize to their citizens for not being as great as this country. 

The Bush/Cheney policy was classic hawkism–that it’s better to be feared than loved. But who fears President Obama? All he needs is a powdered wig to go along with the beauty mark. Sure, he had the balls to shoot a teenage Somali pirate in the face but does he have steel will where we really need it, to take out the Kim Jong-Il family in the middle of the night? What regime in the world today is evil enough for him to change it? Tehran? Darfur?

Elites get real tough on enemies that don’t actually look you in the eye. They can talk real tough against big bad climate change because he won’t speak against them and blow up their embassies. President Obama took no time in his address to the Muslim world (Really? To every Muslim in the world? Will you ever address the Christian world?) to directly oppose Ahmadinejad. This is the new tone we’re all so excited about. Cowardice. Nuance. In the end I think the left just didn’t like a cowboy in the White House…just like the last one they hated.

Bin Laden has released another tape, Russia expands influence both in China and Europe all of whom lick their lips that a Chicago lawyer who loves being photographed in a swimsuit Jesus’d his way into the most powerful leadership position in the world. Fine we have a new tone. That’s a victory of astounding trivia.

Left-wingers side with the so-called Palestinians and insist that their country was stolen from them by the Jews, but when you ask them just exactly where the country was located, what their flag looked like and who their president was, they huff and they puff and they denounce you as a tool of the Jewish lobby.

Liberals argue for the sanctity of the 1st Amendment as if they had personally invented free speech, but they’re the same people who’d like to use the Fairness Doctrine to turn off the microphones of conservative talk show hosts.  Furthermore, they are so terrified of hearing or letting other people hear the words of those who disagree with them that they boo their opponents into silence on those rare occasions when conservatives are invited to speak on college campuses.

When George W. Bush and the GOP were in control from 2000-2006, the Democrats complained, generally without cause, that they didn’t have enough influence, that the Republicans didn’t reach out to them, even though John McCain, to name one, spent so much time reaching out that Cindy McCain began to worry that she’d lost her husband to Russ Feingold or Ted Kennedy.  These days, those same Democrats are so eager to disenfranchise Republicans that they’re ready to do anything up to and including sending the entire stimulus package to Minnesota if only they’ll make Al Franken a senator.

Speaking of senators, what’s the idea of Republicans Martinez, Bunning, Hutchinson and Brownback, announcing that this is their last term?  If I could suck it up and vote for McCain last November, the least these four can do is sign on for another six years.  It’s not as if being a U.S. Senator calls for any heavy lifting.  Heck, if Robert Byrd can do it, Sam Brownback certainly can.  This is simply no time for Republicans to go AWOL.

I admit that I’ve been delighted to see Nancy Pelosi catching some heat for lying about not knowing that water boarding was taking place.  Initially, I think she claimed she was confused by the term, believing it meant that the prisoners at Gitmo were learning to surf.  But things didn’t get a lot better when it came out that she had only bothered attending one of about 70 congressional meetings where the subject was discussed.  I suppose she was busy getting Botox injections.  But that doesn’t mean I want to see the Democrats replace her.  I mean, it’s not as if they’d give the job to Eric Cantor or John Boehner.  I’m sure they’d simply replace the incompetent Speaker of the House with someone like Barney Frank, the embarrassing lisper of the House.

Left-wingers are always wringing their hands over separation of church and state.  What we should all be arguing for is separation of communication and state.  What right does the federal government have supporting NPR, PBS and the NEA?  Frankly, I’d be opposed to the feds spending taxpayer dollars to fund public radio, public TV and the arts, even if they weren’t all run by left-wingers.  I’m sure liberals think I’m lying, but I’m not.  Nowhere in the Constitution is the government given the authority to meddle in these matters, and once it does, it opens itself up to charges of censorship or collusion.  Is there anyone who believes that NPR or PBS will ever question anything President Obama says or does?  Of course not.  Liberals in the media claim they speak truth to power, which sounds good, but would sound a lot better if they ever spoke truth when their own darlings were the ones in power.

It’s bad enough when NBC goes into the tank for the president, but NBC is not subsidized by the American taxpayer.  If the liberals want to disseminate left-wing propaganda, I say let them do it the old-fashioned way.  Let Howard Dean and the entire DNC crawl to George Soros and ask him to pay for it.

Finally, whenever someone gripes about the pay raises, perks, health care and pensions, that politicians provide for themselves, we’re told how much more money these “public servants” could make in the private sector, and I have to laugh.  These egotistical dunderheads would have to be running major corporations — assuming there will be any of those left by the time Obama gets done — to have the kind of fiefdoms that come with being in Congress.  Can you seriously imagine Barbara Boxer, Arlen Specter or John Murtha, running a store, let alone a major corporation?  For that matter, can you even imagine Barbara Boxer, Arlen Specter or John Murtha, being hired to sweep out a store?

burtprelutsky@aol.com