BPN – In environmental news: After ignoring developments in Washington and not studying various legislative proposals, Bizarro NAACP’s all-volunteer Directors of Board am decided to endorse deep cuts in Pell Grants to 1.3 million college students. The proposed cuts, according to organization’s official website, “will deliver on key priorities for us been fighting for.”

And in education:  After ignoring developments in Washington and not studying various legislative proposals, Bizarro World Wildlife Fund’s all-volunteer Directors of Board am decided to endorse repeal of the Bizarro Marine Mammal Protection Act. Revocation of the BMMPA, according to organization’s official website, “will deliver on key priorities for us been fighting for.” (more…)

There’s a brilliant line in the Alfred Hitchcock classic, “Notorious,” that will resonate with many Americans today. Postwar Nazi conspirator Claude Rains has discovered his beloved wife is spying on him for the CIA, and whimpers to his mother that his wary colleagues will eliminate him for his folly. The mother responds that their suspicions of him would never reach the height that he actually married an American agent, adding, “We are protected by the enormity of your stupidity.”

This country may now have the same reprieve.  We elected the most liberal senator in Congress as President, a man of no economic, military, or practical accomplishment who promised to “fundamentally transform America.” Observant citizens, alas too few, knew Obama would try to impose a radical leftist agenda on the nation against the wishes of its central right majority.

But even those who ignored his record; attentiveness to racist Reverend Wright, association with terrorist Bill Ayers, voting down the Induced Infant Liability Act to protect babies who survive late-term abortions, supporting a filibuster against Judge Alito’s Supreme Court bid, and many other hints; could hardly imagine his progressive onslaught on this nation. (more…)

(more…)

If I had to explain Americans to a Martian, I would be hard-pressed. It would be especially difficult when it came to liberals. But, there are even conservatives who confound me.  For instance, why would any Republican belong to AARP? They might just as well skip the middleman and send their money directly to Howard Dean and the DNC. 

Judging by the organization’s enthusiastic support of ObamaCare, which should really be called ObamaDoesn’tCare, it’s obvious that the only old people AARP gives a hoot about are Robert Byrd, Arlen Specter, Ted Kennedy and Harry Reid. 

Speaking of senators, I have on occasion tried to send e-mails on important issues to senators aside from California’s Boxer and Feinstein, and discovered that it can’t be done. These weasels have set it up so that they only hear from their own constituents.  That being the case, I don’t want any of these human slugs introducing or voting on legislation that affects the entire nation. If they don’t want to hear from me, I sure as heck don’t want to hear from them. 

Getting back to AARP, the first time I was aware of their disinterest in the elderly came some years ago when I pitched their monthly magazine, Modern Maturity, a piece about the legendary composer of movie scores, Elmer Bernstein. Because the man was still going strong in his 80s, I assumed they would jump at the opportunity. The editor’s candid response was they weren’t interested because he was too old and that they were seeking a younger audience!  (more…)

Are Jon Stewart fans smarter than the rest of us? Is that the reason why many of us do not find him hilarious… that we’re too dumb to get the joke? His audience goes into stitches when he rolls his eyes and puts his hand over his mouth, and I’m left befuddled. Or am I too old? We all know that the people who watch “The Daily Show” are young, intelligent and informed. Or at least that’s what they’ve been trying to tell us. Unfortunately recent polls paint an entirely different picture.

Maybe it is generational. I know that’s how some fans explain the humor gap to me. Stewart is playing to the young kids and I’m just too old to get it. The problem is, while “Daily Show” viewers might still think they’re kids, they aren’t anymore. Rather than holding a Student ID in their wallets, most “Daily Show” viewers are much closer to their AARP cards. In fact, a recent analysis puts the average age of a “Daily Show” viewer at 41.4 years old.

But are they brighter? Well, according to a recent online poll by Time magazine, 44% of respondents claim that Jon Stewart is America’s most trusted “Newsman.” You cannot convince me that bright people would trust a comedian to be a “Newsman.” (Or maybe it’s just normal for the kids today, since comedy is now considered ample experience to be a United States Senator.) (more…)

I went to the post office today.  I know, there was no way to avoid it, I’d rather have a root canal, but I had to mail this very large package.  So I’m standing in this long line…watching as the three pleasant but weary postal workers attended, very slowly, to the customers.  Each new customer was greeted with a forced-pleasant, “Hi, how are you?” and then attended to the customer’s request.  This one had three odd-sized packages.  That one wanted to buy some of those new stamps.  Another wanted to send a registered letter.  The line slowly moved along.

On the up side, it gave me a chance to study all the people in line.  An occupational habit, I study people wherever I go, particularly when I’m a captive to some long, slow-moving queue.  The line moved so slowly, in fact, that I had the opportunity to memorize what all 32 line-standers were wearing, the color of their hair, the shape of their faces, my best guess at their ethnicity, their height….and as I was starting to indulge myself with guessing each person’s weight and how I would do working at a carnival, my thoughts began to wander.  (Did I mention the line in the post office moved very slowly?) (more…)