Calling All Center-Right Playwrights: Put Up, Or Shut Up.
by Larry O'ConnorAlthough Big Hollywood is still in its infancy, a recurring theme seems to be running through the posts and the comments: (paraphrasing)
“Stop bitching about the left in show business, go out and make a new reality with your own creativity and get those butts in the seats. That’s the only way to change things!”
And as a conservative, it’s hard to argue with that kind of “pull yourself up by the boot straps” kind of thinking.
Now, I recognize that it’s difficult to just write a screen play and make a movie. But, the fact of the matter is, theatre is much different. It actually IS pretty easy to get something up on the boards and seen in an obscure venue. Writers in LA have always known that the small, “99-seat” or “Equity Waiver” houses are a perfect venue for getting their ideas on their feet. But, it’s also a labor of love and rarely ends up producing real, tangible dividends.
But, now, thanks to a little investigative work by yours truly, I’ve discovered the perfect opportunity to all of you right-wing whacko writers out there just itching for fame, money and glory.
According to this very fair and balanced and enlightening article from the NY Times (hey, even a broken clock is right twice a day), New York and London’s most prominent Artistic Directors are looking for plays with a conservative point of view!
André Bishop, artistic director of Lincoln Center Theater for 16 years, said he reads about five plays a week, and from thousands over the years he could not think of a single one that would fall on the right end of the spectrum. “I’m trying to think if I ever read a play that I would call conservative,” he said, pausing a few moments. “I don’t think I’ve come across one.”
And… from across the pond….
A similar conversation about the limited range of viewpoints has been going on in Britain since Nicholas Hytner, artistic director of the National Theater, said he would like to stage a “good, mischievous, right-wing play,” but was having trouble finding one.
“I would love to deliver a play that ended up in a position that, for instance, was highly skeptical about abortion rights,” he said. “I would like to see a play about the white working-class communities that were completely displaced by waves of immigration. These are the offensive plays we’re not doing.”
There you have it my friends… what do you need, and engraved invitation? Get those cover letters going!
Meanwhile, if you don’t get anything accepted, I’ll be happy to stage a reading for you up stairs at Sardi’s or in LA at the Coronet… for a small fee of course, I’m not a leftist!
Stage Right is on Facebook.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
| 
Follow Us on Twitter
Subscribe via RSS
Got a Tip?
16 Comments
In silhouette, of course, and with my voice muffled. Just leave the money for me in the dumpster behind the El Polo Loco on La Cienega. In El Segundo, that one. Small, unmarked bills, please. And, for God’s sake don’t ever mention my name. I’ll swear I’ve never met you.
“These are the offensive plays we’re not doing”
Any port in a storm, lads. This is the kind of work pseudonyms were made for.
or a small fee of course, I’m not a leftist!
Right. If you were a leftist, you’d charge a large fee, or get salary add-ons for this
night out, er, research, from your university.Reminds me of our favorite anti-capitalist band – Rage Against the Machine -whose CDs were always like $18.99, 3 or 4 bucks more than usual, and included lyrics like, “Anger is a gift…”
Dude, I’ve got the play. Smart, insightful, moving critique of 20th century Socialism. May never see the light of day without help from someone like yourself. Cover letters don’t work—they go straight to the circular file, or get returned unopened.
I’ve entered it in several contests, (Yale, Julie Harris, etc.) but won’t hear until June. If you want a preview, send me an email and I’ll get you a pdf.
Three words: Iowahawk: The Musical.
For what it’s worth, there’s more than a few playhouses in the Inland Empire. Sam Kennison’s widow still owns The Grove Theater in Upland. there are good ones in Rialto and Rancho Cucamonga (Lewis Playhouse at Victoria Gardens should become the epicenter of conservative theatre on the West coast).
My point being that there’s no shortage of venues in places where conservative plays would be well received.
foist, congrats on moderating these comments from the frothing racist animals that frequent braitfart.
seconds, your webmaster should put in a confirmation for comment posts so your not swimming in dupes.
i try.
excellent idea.
all ‘center right’ even though, i’m guessing you’ll only get ‘far right’ creative geniuses should answer this separate but equal clarion call for
what?
musicals full of flag waving starring joe the plumber and the blackwater boys?
sarah palin in ‘annie get your gun’
can’t wait.
soon or later, the angry right is going to have to grow up and admit your boy g w b*tch and the vulcans destroyed this country and no one wants to hear from the neocons any more.
cognitive dissonance.
get help.
See…this *sounds* good, except that even the plays they expect to see from a conservative are framed from a leftist viewpoint. White communities displaced by immigration? Is that even on the conservative RADAR? I don’t care what color my neighbors are, I’d just like to be able to talk about Jonah Goldberg’s column with them or complain about high taxes…and I’d gladly do it with a guy who’s Indian or Mexican. As it is, I’m entirely surrounded by lily-white Obama voters. The immigration issue we DO care about is that it is legal, and the importance of this is entirely lost on the left. A play about the importance of obeying the law, about it being more than just “documentation”, would be what I’d like to see.
Here’s a question: how do you PITCH a right-wing play and not fear for your career if it is met by leftists who immediately ask you where you stand on gay marriage and blackball you if they don’t like your answer? How do you know your play will be read by a Nicholas Hytner and not the 97% of the theatrical community who aren’t open-minded about scripts?
I’d love to be a fly on the wall when a dyed in the wool conservative pitches a play to Mr. Bishop or Mr. Hytner about an American, who happens to be black, completely bamboozles a gullible public with empty phraseology, with the aid of a sycophantic press corp, gets himself elected POTUS then completely bungles the job resulting in skyrocketing inflation, massive unemployment, ginormous budget deficits, greater government control over individual lives, and, to top it off, sits down for peace talks with the Iranian President after Iranian sponsored Hezbollah terrorists detonate a dirty nuke in Miami. During the course of the pitch the writer goes on and on about how great a president Ronald Reagan was, and what insightful writers Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter are.
Yeah, I can see that play getting a big thumbs up in New York.
When Big Hollywood started, I had hoped there would be some kind of forum area where people of various talents (and common-sense conservative principles) could begin to network. Bummer that it’s not here yet. I’m an accomplished composer and music producer just waiting for the right projects to come along to take them to the next level.
If I were a writer I would write a play about a relationship dealing with abortion and the affects the decision has on him, not just on her.
I would write a play revolving around a dialogue between two persons of the Catholic faith, one who votes for abortion and one who does not.
I would write a play about WF Buckley and his various debates with famous Collectivists.
I would write a play about Natan Sharansky, his time in Stain’s gulags, his freedom Ronald Reagan brought about and his place in neo-conservative(former liberal mugged by reality) philosophy.
I would write a play about illegal immigration as a slave trade and how such lawlessness brings degradation to both legal citizens and those forced to hide underground.
I would write a play about dreadful identity politics and strangulation it brings to free people.
I would write a play about the constant struggle against going down that road toward Serfdom; I would develop characters who seek to retain their Liberty despite the an overwhelming sense of impoverishment.
I would write a play about how traditional marriage is forced underground while a sexually-entranced society becomes addicted to the orgasm like a junkie is to heroin and how, as a result, sexuality evolves into complete impotence.
If I were a writer, these are a few things I would write about.
I have to wonder if those theater directors would actually recognize a truly conservative script. Or would it have to meet their perception of what is conservative.
This: “Christopher – Three words: Iowahawk: The Musical.”
The stage sets alone would be worth the price of admission.
There’s a good short play in the story of two incineration plant workers who discover that the “medical waste” they’re burning is full of corpses from their friendly neighborhood late-term abortionist.
Steve Oleo, everytime you leave a comment on a blog, you are engaged in a “forum”.
A question: Have you heard the term “Web 2.0″? This blog is one small part of that. Internet social networking runs like this:
The Party: These are sites like Facebook, MySpace, YouTube, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc. There are some folks signed up with over 20 different sites. This is where you get to chat with and meet folks
The House: Big Hollywood would be considered a rather specialized “House”. Blogs are considered the House because it is where we come and learn more about folks we got interested in at the Party. It’s where we learn likes, dislikes, what’s on their mind, etc.
The Business: This is where business happens. It is where you engage in the real marketing of what you do, how you make a living, products you have, etc.
When you come to the House, you need to be able to share your business with folks. Don’t expect that someone’s going to have a special room for you where you can market yourself. But share yourself with others by including a link back to your “House” when you leave a comment. Sure you left your email for this particular sites’ operators, but what if someone, who wanted to hook up with a composer, was browsing the comments? How would that person contact you?
So if you really want to get into online social networking, start thinking about setting up your own “House”. And when folks come by the Big Hollywood “House” invite them over to yours when you leave a comment. Then more folks might come over, spend some time with you and perhaps learn more about you and what gets your juices flowing.
Christopher, three words for you regarding a play by Iowahawk-YES,YES,YES!
I can’t think of what he can do, but would love to see Dave Burge here. Iowahawk is my first stop off everyday.
You must be logged in to post a comment.