This isn’t gouge-your-eyes-out bad. Which is as much praise as I can honestly lavish on it.
If you’re really desperate, it’s no worse than giving a really dry peanut butter and no jelly sandwich to a starving man.

Character concepts: Fat guy, unlucky at life and unlucky at love.
Hopelessly out-of-his-league love interest.
Gang of evil-doers on his beat.

You could let your imagination run wild, but don’t.
Just take twenty laps around Tired Cliché Circle. On a Segway.
There; you’ve got the whole movie.

If you want to blame someone, blame last year’s west coast writer’s strike, which pushed what pitifully little movie production there was out of Hollywood and back east (in this case, to the Boston area, doubling for Jersey. I didn’t think it was possible to seriously insult Jersey, but I think this qualifies as a double-slap.) Where apparently no one’s been going to the movies much since Edison invented them.

If only Chris Farley, John Candy, Jackie Gleason, Oliver Hardy, Gus the mouse in “Cinderella,” and so on hadn’t done the lovably bumbling funny fat guy 1000 times already (and 1000 times better) this one wouldn’t look so pale and shallow by comparison.

Kevin James may someday break into their league. He’s got wit, timing, the willingness to take a good fall. Twenty times. And the heart for a good flick.
Just not this one, and not on a Segway. As a 2-minute skit on SNL or the like, this might have rocked. So it was just maybe 89 minutes too long.

But if they make a sequel, I could understand someone going postal.
{Speaking of which, this film sadly also featured the trailer for “Pink Panther 2″. Now there’s a fatwa target I could support.
I love Steve Martin, but someone, please, stop him before he does another one.}

My Rating: No thanks, I’m full.
But your 4-year-old will probably like it when it comes out on DVD next month.

Yeah, though I see they are playing up Rhona Mitra in some of the advertising materials. Either way, it seems this might be worth a look see.

Agree completely. While Beckinsale is wonderful to look at, she really has yet to blow anyones doors off with her acting. I was pleasantly surprised with Lycans and stopped missing Beckinsale about 5 minutes into it. Half way though it I began to realize this was the most enjoyable Underworld yet. The story had more of an arc than any of its predecessors (actually the 2nd Underworld is barely worth mentioning, it was dismal) I think they have breathed new life into this series.

Then the movie guy would go ‘Yes, it does. You must be a gay homophobe.’

Then the other guy goes ‘That doesn’t make any sense…’

It just goes on like that, but you get the idea. Milk isn’t going to be in the history books. You either have to been part of the big country or be Obama to get into the history books.

I used to try and be objective with muscians, actors, directors and studios. Trying to justify my purchase by looking at their ideals as “artsy” but one Presidential election later and I do see that pop culture has too much of an influence on our society.

Anyhow, I don’t wish ill on the industry as a whole because their are real people (like the one’s here) that work in Hollywood. Still, I can’t turn a blind eye anymore. I can’t continue to support an industry that goes against every thing I believe in.

I used to like Kevin James, King of Queens was one of my favorite shows but after his last movie with Sandler I gave up on the guy. I guess the mall cop movie is good or maybe it’s just because there is nothing else out there for people to watch.

Anyway, I will still probably go and see movies but it is definitely not a necessity for me to live my life. Good thing I can rely on this website to keep me informed on the “pop culture” world.