Glenn Beck personally called James Cameron the Antichrist. Tea Party protesters repeatedly yelled “racial epithets” such as “n*gger” and “f*ggot” to members of Congress. I don’t even want to have to mention the myriad vulgarities that Mr. Sean Penn has had to endure from his hate-mongering critics. Those far-right bad apples… Don’t they know that they’re going to spoil it for the rest of us?

There’s only one problem with all of the following examples: there is no evidence that any of those events have occurred.

Ever.

Firstly, let’s examine the claim that Glenn Beck called James Cameron the Antichrist. To hear the story in mainstream media, Glenn Beck came face-to-face with Mr. Cameron and proceeded to accuse him of being the anti-Christ. The rock-solid source for this one was none other than the blue-man-group fetishist himself. If James Cameron says it, it HAS to be true! (more…)

Health care reform, consistently dishonest media bias, a radically left Hollywood establishment; these are all but mere distractions to the real problem facing conservatives today… Sean Hannity. Haven’t you heard? He’s a bad man! An awful, terrible, horrible man! He steals… From Soldiers and their families! He also hates amputees. How deplorable! Who does this charlatan think he is?

By now, I’m sure that you’re all aware of the attacks surrounding Sean Hannity and the Freedom Alliance. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve also seen the thorough refutation of said accusations through real reporting and reliable sources (no, a friend of a friend doesn’t count). The bigger question at hand for cannibal Conservatives however is… Why?

At a time where we find ourselves staring down the barrel of a gun so large that it makes Yosemite Sam’s ACME revolvers look like pea-shooters, why are there conservatives who insist on turning the fight against their own?
The sad fact is that there are some “conservatives” out there who have carved themselves out a nice little niche through doing just that. It’s not hard to do, after all leftists love conservative turncoats. If they can have a conservative mouthpiece making their arguments for them, so much the better. (more…)

Lady Gaga’s new video, “Telephone” hit the streets last week. You’ve all heard of it, I’m sure. As nothing more than violent softcore porn, even MTV has allegedly given it the shut-out. Not only is the video a tasteless, boring herpes-fest, but it’s indicative of a larger problem facing Americans (particularly young ladies today). Can anyone guess what it is?

Let’s be honest; in the world of popstar Divas… Lady Gaga isn’t exactly a Bo-Derek-perfect-10. So how does she find a way to close the gap? As many ugly dames have done since the dawn of time, she decides to up the ante of sluttiness. I speak the truth. Women, if you don’t live up to the current magazine standards of “beauty,” the message being pumped to you through pop culture is loud and clear: ugly and/or fat chicks need to go fishing with dynamite.

Even more confusing is when pop-musicians use said form of packaging to try and push a corporatized “be proud of who you are” message (see any “Pink” music video ever made). By default, we end up breeding a generation of slutty, shallow, self-absorbed, empty shell human beings and then confusedly ask why they have “self-esteem” issues. Whatever happened to the idea of esteeming others first? Seems to me that that would do wonders for the tweens self-confidence (not to mention their productivity levels). You know who was big on that concept? Jesus. We can’t have that. (more…)

“You know, do I hope that those people die screaming of rectal cancer? Yeah, you know, but I’m not going to spend a lot of energy on it.” – Sean Penn (when addressing his detractors)

No, I’m not making it up, you can even view the video here. O’Reilly, feel free to examine his body language, though to be fair, there isn’t much of a body to work with. For those too lazy to watch the video, let me recap it for you: **Spoiler alert!** Sean Penn has decided to take the life-plunge and go full-retard. Honestly, I don’t even know what to say anymore. Clearly, his statement was made in the poorest taste possible. Even more appalling however, is that the media doesn’t seem upset about these remarks in the slightest.

Is it just me, or do the “outrageous” quotes from Limbaugh, Coulter, and Beck that send the mainstream-media into a tizzy pale in comparison to the vitriolic hatred of Penn?

If Sean Penn were to tell his detractors to take a hike, that would be fine. If he suggested that they jump off a bridge, I’d be cool with that. But to describe in vivid detail, a torturous, agonizing death (one from which many cancer-sufferers were likely suffering while watching the interview from their hospital beds) in which his detractors should perish, is evil, pure and simple. The worst part about it is that we all know Sean Penn isn’t quick enough to think on his feet, which leaves no doubt that the man had spent “a lot of energy on it” in order to craft the graphic mental imagery beforehand. What a sick, twisted, vulgar, knee-high little minikin. (more…)

Is Sean Penn doing some good work for Haiti? Yes. At some point, did he opt to advance his own Hollywood image in place of casting the widest relief net possible? Yes. Will he violently threaten those who question his motives in the name of “peace?” That’s a definite possibility. I liked him better when he was rattling his skull with a checkered slip-on.

For those of you who don’t know, Sean Penn has been “making the rounds” to keep the public awarene about Haiti. By “making the rounds” I mean scoring Hollywood elbow-bumping points by appearing on Tinseltown’s golden fanboy show… Larry King Live.

“One of the most important aspects of that will be that I’ve never asked to be on television before in my life, with the exception of unintelligible. I asked to be on your show today and you said yes. That’s what’s important, to keep the eye on Haiti. …The eyes of CNN and FoxNews and everybody else, the New York Times stays on this disaster…”

(more…)

I know the 9/11 imagery is always hard to take in. I still get a lump in my throat when I see it, but that could just be my meningitis. I do think it’s necessary however, to show the tragic imagery so that people don’t forget how fired up they were in the following months. It’s time to get fired up again. It’s time to honor the deceased by proactively fighting against government waste and forcing their hand into action. There’s no excuse for Ground Zero to look the way it does today… Unless Mothra stopped by. He ruins everything.

(more…)

The era of Reagan is over.

No, I don’t say that in the same way that RINO’s say it in an attempt to move towards the center and line their Brooks Brothers’ pockets. I say it in that the political landscape today has changed drastically and we need to do more than look to one transcendent figure as the leader of the conservative movement. Future generations will be won on the cultural front, and never through “politics.” Politicians are boring, plus they smell funny.

Say what you want about leftists; Sure they act a little crazy, wear pointy shoes and spit when they talk, but they are incredibly effective with planting cultural seeds. Avatar, plants a seed. Family Guy, plants a seed. SNL plants a seed. All of Comedy Central plants seeds. On the flip side, the sad fact of the matter is that conservatives have planted little to nothing in the cultural landscape. (more…)

Now I hate to be “that guy” who fact-checks jokes and so… I’m not going to be. Let’s be honest though, Bill Maher doesn’t really write jokes these days. He’s instead decided to sermonize on the perils of right-wing Americans through his self-described brand of “political incorrectness.” Of course, the irony is that Bill Maher is the walking, talking, epitome of modern-day political correctness, but shhh… Don’t tell him that. He might get upset. You don’t want to see him upset. I hear that he’s been doing curls.

Let’s examine some of his “politically incorrect” shenanigans from Maher’s latest HBO special, “… But I’m not wrong,” shall we?

Set Up: Early on, he comments on how he loves the South because they are “politically incorrect.” Throughout the remaining hour he continually accuses the South of being racist and dumb along with confessing his hatred for any area of the country that is not a bustling metropolis. Confused?

Spoiler Alert: It doesn’t start making any more sense as we continue. (more…)

SNL… They were doing so well for a while. It looked like rather than bending over for the administration, they were going to return to the irreverent brand of “take no prisoners” humor that has made them the political powerhouse that they are today. There was the infamous “Obama Deals with China” sketch, followed by a few subtle jabs at the POTUS, but it has ended there. In an attempt to remain politically relevant, SNL has decided to once again go after none other than Sarah Palin. At the very least, you have to respect them for being ballsy, right?

To the untrained eye, SNL’s recent “Rahm Emanuel Apology” sketch would seem to be poking fun at the chief-of-staff designate. To be fair, they make him look like a bit of a jerk (albeit still a smart one.) Personally I would have gone with the whole “he looks like Brad Garret on a heroin-bender” angle, but keep in mind that I’m a bi-partisan hack. The most notable part of the SNL piece had nothing to do with Emmanuel himself, but the jabs taken at Sarah Palin:

“You come after me on Facebook? What, are your fourteen? Here’s a status update: Grow the f–k up! Poke me again, and I will write s–t on your wall so obscene your computer will cry. Go back to the tundra, you f–king gimmick!”

(more…)

I know, I know. Italy has been questioning the amount of aid that the United States has sent to Haiti as of late. If only we could be more like our Italian counterparts. How many troops have they put on the ground there? Maybe they can send George Clooney over with a few gift baskets. I hear he summers in Laglio.

(more…)

A little distasteful? Possibly. As distasteful as Coakley invoking the spirit of Ted Kennedy in a failed attempt to win an election? No. If liberals want to talk Ted Kennedy… Let’s talk Ted Kennedy. Better yet, I just so happen to have managed an exclusive interview with the pale-faced powerhouse. Anderson Cooper, consider yourself scooped.

(more…)

Ever notice that the chronically poor nearly always share one thing in common? They are some of the most greedy SOB’s on the planet. I know it seems sacrilegious to say so. You’re just not supposed to criticize the poor. Afterall, haven’t they had it hard enough? I mean, a man can’t help the hand he’s been dealt… Unless he’s Rain Man.

Now before you go and crucify me, keep in mind that there is a huge difference between someone who is “down on their luck” and someone who is able-bodied and “chronically poor.” There’s a big difference, and I’m only addressing the latter.

We see the stereotype everyday in Hollywood films: The wealthy, corporate, penny-pinching sell-out who inevitably becomes a slave to their own greed. Note: That stereotype excludes the rich, bloated constituents of Tinseltown themselves. The sad part is that oftentimes Americans believe it. As a largely blue-collar nation, I could think of nothing more satisfying than vilifying the “boss” (not a Springsteen reference, for those wondering). The only problem is that it’s dishonest. (more…)

I’ve got to be honest, the first thing that comes to mind when I think of a man blowing up his johnson isn’t that of a “bona fide threat.” When I think of the damage that could have actually been carried out however, I get chills down my spine.  Then I realize that I shouldn’t be sitting on the office ice-bucket.  I still don’t really see how calling the “War on Terror” to an “Overseas Contingency Operation” will make us any safer from people hell-bent on our destruction but then again… I’m just silly like that!

(more…)

“Right and Wrong.” It’s a silly dated idea, I know. As a progressive society after all, shouldn’t we be past the antiquated idea of moral absolutes? We’re big thinkers, and a higher-learned people. Let’s leave the obtuse “black and white” mindset to those simplistic conservatives. They’re so silly. Plus, they don’t like having sex.

It seems that over the past several decades, we haven’t been able to avoid having the “moral relativism” mantra pumped into our brains. Sometimes it’s subconscious (being planted in our minds from under-the-radar messages in the talkies of Tinseltown) and sometimes it’s less subtle than Johnny Depp’s awful pubic-hair goatee. How does this resonate with the American people, however? Do most of us believe that a majority of the worlds issues are really just shades of grey? (more…)

I know that some of you may think that the last thing Detroit needs is another hit piece. Granted, some could consider this video as THE hit piece. Detroit however, can serve as a valuable lesson to the rest of the country. It has been the perfect laboratory for leftist policies at work. The more you examine the policies of Detroit’s politicians, the more strikingly similar to this administration they become. The results… are shocking. Notice how I added the “…” for dramatic effect? I’m thoughtful like that.

(more…)

The whole “Robin Hood theory” argument has been used by radical leftists (most commonly referred to as “college professors”) for decades across our great country. “Steal from the rich and give to the poor” is the rhetoric they’ll always undoubtedly regurgitate. There’s only one problem… It’s wrong. Dead wrong.
Every time I hear some dumb college know-it-all or stupid self-righteous celebrity use the story of Robin Hood as an argument for socialism, I want to punch them right in their perfectly zoom-whitened teeth. The truth, is that Robin Hood was the quintessential ANTI-Government revolutionary. He’d have more in common with our Founding Fathers or Ronald Reagan than the likes of Stalin, Marx, or Sean Penn.

See the one point that liberals miss when they read the story of Robin Hood was that the man never stole from “the rich.” Leftists like to vilify the wealthy, but the tale of Robin Hood vilifies a corrupt government. Robin Hood was stealing from an oppressive monarchy/administration and giving the wealth back to its rightful owners. He was essentially re-distributing wealth by removing it from the initial re-distributors. Confused? Let’s break down the story of Robin Hood for a second: (more…)

I’ve got to be honest, the whole “war on Christmas” deal has had me concerned.  Now knowing that detective Horatio Caine is on the job however, my mind has been put at ease. The man can take down killers through clever dialogue alone. How about you folks at home: Does the banning of Salvation Army Santa’s from storefronts concern you, or do you deem it appropriate?

Note: No Target employees were actually shot during the making of this video… Except for the one.

Haven’t you heard? The GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network), founded by Obama’s Safe Schools Czar Kevin Jennings, was caught teaching middle-school students the sexual art of “fisting.” One has to wonder, considering how in the tank the folks in tinseltown have been for this administration, would these kinds of shenanigans even bother them?

It’s no secret that Hollywood considers themselves to be much more “open-minded” about sex than the average bear. I’m sure they’d have no problem with the GLSEN endorsing the act of inserting one’s fist into a partners orifice to a group of 14-year-olds. Afterall, everybody does it… Right?

As a matter of fact, Hollywood rarely ever gives the evil eye to any sexual practice, no matter how freaky it may be. It seems that to the Sean Penns of the world, the more perverse the sex, the better. They’ve sauntered so far down the “freaky sex dungeon” trail that “fisting” has literally been left in the rearview mirror as mere child’s play. (more…)

It’s an argument that we hear used all too-commonly nowadays; If you’re not a fan of public sexual vulgarity, particularly of the homosexual variety, you must be a bigot. And of course the only reason one would be a bigot is clearly due to one’s secret attraction to members of the same sex. Flawless logic, is it not? It’s one of those arguments that’s used so often that we’ve become desensitized to it. Am I the only one who feels like the rules keep fudging as we go along?

We all know about the Adam Lambert fiasco. Most of us also know that the make-up caked crooner has been complaining of being held to a “different standard” due to his sexuality. Many Americans have publicly disagreed and stated that it was his distasteful, sexually charged performance (coupled with crappy vocals and a hairdo that many consider to be a fire-hazard) that landed him in hot water. (more…)

It’s that time of year again.  If you’ve got a leftist in your family, you can forget enjoying a familial celebration of the blessings bestowed upon you and your country.  If you’re white, you’re particularly guilty.  If you’re black like Zo, you’ll be referred to as nothing more than a “house negro” as seen in the YouTube comments section. The liberal Thanksgiving motto is as follows: Starve and be un-merry!

(more…)