"Liberalism is a disease...Meet the cure."
Born in Detroit, raised in Montreal, Steven Crowder, got his start at 12-years-old voicing cartoons and acting in Canadian films/television. In an attempt to attract the dames, Steven took up the art of stand up comedy (to no avail). Six years later (at 18-years-old), Steven performed at the world-renowned “Just for Laughs” comedy festival, becoming the youngest Comedian ever to grace the festival’s stage (breaking the previous record set by then 19-year-old Chris Rock). Immediately afterward, Steven won the much publicized national Stand up Comedy competition on Myspace.
Steven has since appeared in numerous films, television shows, and radio programs, all the while taking his unique brand of humor across the country garnering countless accolades and winning the hearts of fans (still, no dames).
In recent years, fed up with the rampant liberalism in Hollywood, comedy clubs, and among young people (it's a pandemic, you know), Steven decided to use his comedic arsenal for the greater good. Sure, some people were born leftists and they're going to stay leftists, but for the rest of us (and for the benefit of common sense everywhere), Steven will continue to take dead aim on the left-wing nut-jobs...get them in the cross hairs...and take them down.
www.stevencrowder.net

Steven Crowder
Must-See Undercover Exposé of Socialized Healthcare!
by Steven CrowderIf you’re like most asinine leftists, you’ve probably been a long time advocate of “Universal Healthcare” without ever having had the opportunity to experience the crappy, decrepit system first-hand… Well here’s your chance… And you better hold on tight, Buttercup, because it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
Lonewolf Diaries: Shut Up and Do Your Job, Dipstick!
by Steven CrowderEntitlement. It’s a silly notion. Almost as silly as the idea of “homophobes” or the “whitey,” yet it is still an idea that permeates the minds of much of America’s lower and middle classes today. Truth be told, I’m getting really tired of being made to feel guilty for other people’s shortcomings. When will people stop playing the blame game, suck it up, grow a pair and take control over their own lives?
I was at the Houston airport the other day and I couldn’t find my baggage carousel. I asked the employee there where it was:
“What does it say on the screen?” he asked grumpily.
“Well, it says Carousel 2 but…”
“Then that’s what it is. You should be old enough to know that,” he said as he went off mumbling about how they weren’t paying him enough. (more…)
Obama and North Korea: Featuring Lil’ KimJong
by Steven CrowderI’m sure many leftists will assume me a racist because of this one. I shan’t lie… I find Kim Jong Il’s accent incredibly funny, and won’t apologize for it. Also, before you start worrying about the legal ramifications, Lil KimJong signed a release allowing us to use this footage so it’s totally cool.
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Note: No Koreans were harmed during the making of this video… Unless you count South Koreans. Then there were probably thousands of them hurt through oppression and starvation. Bear witness, folks!
Lonewolf Diaries: Marriage Is for Suckers and Ugly Folk
by Steven CrowderIf you’ve been taking notes from such brilliant minds as Bill Maher, Cameron Diaz or ever taken a moment to observe Hollywood in the past few decades, you’d know that marriage is a dead institution. I mean, who gets married anymore (unless you’re gay)?! It’s like, “Hellooooooooooo”!

I happened to catch Cameron “My Career is Over Thanks to HD” Diaz discussing the intricacies of marriage on “Real Time with Bill Maher” this week. A lot of tinseltown jibber jabber ensued but you needn’t be bored with the self-indulgent details. Cameron basically proclaimed that she’s glad that she’d never gotten married because she “definitely would have been divorced (multiple times).” She just needed to do what was right for her and that that was constantly changing. Maher, of course, agreed and praised Cameron in her wisdom for having learned to put herself first and foremost, before all others in her life. Marriage can’t work because you have to look out for “Numero Uno”… That’s the Hollywood way! (more…)
News That Matters: Iran, North Korea, Perez Hilton?
by Steven CrowderI consider myself to be a man with my priorities in order. That’s why I’m so satisfied with the mainstream media’s ability to cover all of the right affairs. Let’s face it, Iran will always be a quagmire. Let’s put them on the backburner and “bear witness.” North Korea? … Eh. Perez Hilton getting punched in the face by the black guy from The Black-Eyed Peas? There’s your cover story right there.
Note: No gratingly bitchy men were actually harmed during the making of this video.
Troopathon 2009: A Truth About Our Troops
by Steven CrowderI’m a pansy when compared to the men and women of the United States military. I know it, you know it and most likely they know it. Yet, surprisingly, the majority of encouraging letters I receive on a daily basis come straight from the members of America’s armed forces. Their letters are consistently uplifting, conveying to me that what I do is “just as brave as fighting for our country in a foxhole,” Or that, “I use a gun, you use a microphone.”

The truth is that these people should be emailing me with slurs like, “Until you’ve been shot at, you should shut your mouth and let the real soldiers do the fighting,” or “Come out to Iraq smart-ass, and bring a change of pants with you”… Yet you never run into that kind of vitriol spewing from these commendable folks. Contrary to what most of Hollywood will tell you, the men and women of our armed forces are the best among us. Not only because of how they serve, but because they are able to find the best in each other… And they are able to encapsulate the best in all of us. (more…)
Lonewolf Diaries: Why ‘Gayness’ Can Be Funny
by Steven CrowderI’m sure that I’ll get some heat for this, but I feel it is timely to say… Folks, it’s okay to find flamboyant homosexuality funny. Somewhere along the “common sense line,” people have started to equate the ability to find the humor in life with hate speech. Does the idea (note: I didn’t say content) of a movie like “Bruno” offend you? Do you feel that the idea of somebody chuckling over a flamingly over-the-top gay man to be so repulsive that it borders on hatred? To you I say “Nay”! Read on to find out why.

Let me be the first to say it. My name is Steven Crowder and I happen to find blatant gayness funny. I mean really funny. I can remember my first “gay encounter” as a child. I was watching the Macy’s parade on Thanksgiving morning. Al Roker was interviewing Richard Simmons. As nothing more than a wide-eyed four-year-old, I was completely vexed. Here was a man on my television set, complete with chest-hair and quadriceps fuzz. He was just…“off” to me for some reason. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until the light bulb in my underdeveloped noggin turned on. “Hey Dad,” I asked. “Why does that man act like a woman?”
Embryonic Stem Cell FUN! (Crazy Pete Returns)
by Steven CrowderI know that embryonic stem cell research can be a touchy subject, so I opted to handle this one with both sensitivity and tact. Those are just the ABC’s of me. However, the truth of the matter is that our “opinions” on the subject don’t really matter. Embryonic stem cell research has never gone very well and few people have shown an interest in investing in it. Logically, that alone should make it an open and shut case…
… But who needs logic when you’ve got big Government, right? (more…)
Lonewolf Diaries: Republicans Need to Grow a Sense of Humor
by Steven CrowderYes, you’ve read correctly. To all of you GOP types playing the “offended” card on a daily basis… Prepare to have your feelings hurt, because according to my carefully calculated research… Republicans need to shut up and laugh a little.
Never has the GOP’s lack of funnybone been on sharper display than the last 5 months. For a party that claims to “shun political correctness,” we’ve certainly done a good job of embracing it. Over the past 150 days there have been three “media-worthy” politically incorrect moments related to this administration and Republicans have managed to jump on each one of them for political gain. All to no avail. Let us examine:
Exhibit A
Barack Obama’s Special Olympics comment on Leno. – On air, President B. Hussein Obama made a self-deprecating joke in regards to his bowling abilities. He made the implication that he was so bad at bowling that his skill level resembled that of a mentally challenged athlete. Twas a surprisingly funny, off-handed moment for a generally very unfunny president.
Republicans, however, decided to act as though they were appalled by this and ran with the “you can’t make fun of retards” theme. (I’m paraphrasing here of course, but you get the picture.) I believe that somewhere in the middle, Sarah Palin and her son Trigg were tied into the whole fiasco. The media took little notice and sharp comedians like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert managed to successfully lampoon Conservatives for being humorless old bags. That’s one for you, Democrats… (more…)
Everyday Normal Republicans (With Special Guest: Zo!)
by Steven CrowderAndrew Breitbart hit the nail on the head when he said that, “Conservatives have allowed Liberals to portray us in the media for far too long,” (Or something to that effect. I can’t remember because I was on a pop-tart bender). Sadly, it’s very true. For a long time now, the people over at CNN and MSNBC have molded “Conservatives” into a way that suits their personal agenda. The problem is that this “molding” occurs in plain sight and is forced on an unsuspecting public. Damn your dashing good looks, Anderson Cooper!
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Lonewolf Diaries: Europe Sucks. There, I Said It.
by Steven CrowderYes, you heard me. “Screw Europe,” I say to you. With all of this “repairing of international relations” going on, the press (along with every “Green Day Liberal” in the Western hemisphere) seem to be getting quite giddy. Finally we’ll be more like the Europeans and maybe, just maybe, that will allow us to be on better footing with them. To all of you I ask… Why?
Why on EARTH would the United States ever want to be more like Europe? Correct me if I’m wrong, but we left, did we not? Not only did we leave that older, lesser world behind, but we left skid-marks along the way with an entire continent eating our proverbial dust. Those were good times… Not to mention the asskickery that followed suit.
The truth is we’ve been doing things far better than Europe for centuries. We’ve built a stronger military and a much more dynamic economy than any of our European counterparts… And we’ve done it in record time. We left the world’s greatest superpowers one century only to blaze past them the next. (more…)
When Keith Olbermann Attacks
by Steven CrowderIt takes a big man to admit when he’s been bested. I have to say however, that after this one I had to walk away with my head hanging in shame. You win this round, Mr Olbermann… You win this round.
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In my defense however, I will say that Maddow came way out of left field with the double-teaming. I personally found it to be distasteful… But well played on Maddow’s part.
Lonewolf Diaries: Obama is North Korea’s Little Punk
by Steven CrowderWe all know that Kim Jong-il is “buy-yourself-a-handgun” crazy. It’s pretty much a given. That begs the question however: why is anybody (particularly our president) even considering trying to tiptoe around this shady, marionette-looking character? Am I the only one who feels that something serious needs to be done here?

Any man who’s ever spent time in a schoolyard understands exactly what North Korea is trying to pull. They’re shoving us. They are flicking the jab outside by the monkey bars trying to see what we’re made of. It’s the age-old “alpha male” ritual that every man has come to experience at some point in his life. The peculiar thing is that North Korea isn’t even big or strong enough to be the schoolyard bully. North Korea is really just the kid who decided he’d be “all out crazy” hoping people would be scared off by the tirades and avoid stepping up to the plate. The sad thing is it’s been working. Even sadder is that without the proper action, North Korea just might end up being “that kid” who shoots up the school. (more…)
Lonewolf Diaries: All Christians are Serial Killers
by Steven CrowderI’m tired of ignoring the elephant in the room, so I’ll just come out and say it. Christians are corny, out of touch, lonely creepers who generally end up becoming murderers or rapists…. At least that’s what Hollywood’s taught me.
Not to mention they’re all a bunch of minority-bashing fear mongers. Why does anyone continue to allow this hateful, extremist group to exist? Am I the only one who feels that they could stand to learn a lot from the peaceful, Muslim folk?
If I hadn’t been raised in such a logical household, the entertainment industry would have elicited only one reaction from me in regards to “Christians”; “Good God, these people are crazy.”
It all started with the flick “Carrie.” Who can forget Sissy Spacek’s loopy, evangelical mom citing Bible verses amidst insane spiritual tirades until she was finally skewered with every kitchen utensil in the cabinet…all to a disturbing orgasmic moaning session. The scene was used to drive the point home: Christians are dangerous and nuts, but they’re great to make fun of. (more…)
‘The Dark Pelosi’ (With Waterboarding!)
by Steven CrowderSure this one’s been a long time coming, and with everything that’s been going on, how could I NOT make a video about the twitchy old bird. It isn’t enough that she’d been undermining our administration for years, now she’s got to come out and play the “victim” card. Poor Nancy, skunked again! Come on ma’am, it’s getting old.
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Note: I know the video gets a little personal, but thanks to Wanda Sykes… That is a concern of mine no longer!
Lonewolf Diaries: Barack Obama is “Not My President”
by Steven CrowderI know, I know. It’s cliche and trust me, I hated the punks/celebrities who wore those slogan t-shirts throughout the Bush administration as much as the rest of you. The day Obama was elected, like many of you I told myself “Well, I didn’t vote for him, but he’s my President and I’ll support him.” A few months later, times have changed and I feel the need to officially declare that Barack Obama is “Not My President.” If you disagree, feel free to smack me around a little. If you feel the same way put your John Hancock down below and make your voice heard.
Seeing as the “Green Day Liberals/American Idiots” started the whole “Bush is not my President” schtick and their new album is dropping this week, I couldn’t think of a more appropriate time to issue a retort. Granted, the men of Green Day have had to overcome a lot to attain the success they enjoy today. It’s not every day that a group of legally-declared midgets can produce platinum-selling albums. Folks, I can give credit where credit is due. Rather than accept this success on behalf of the “little people” however, Green Day (along with other generic punk bands) had to start the “not my President” crusade against their commander in chief during a time of war. Punk bands even collectively put out the “Rock Against Bush” album which was eyebrow-raisingly sympathetic towards our enemies. Some would call it treason, I call it “a-bunch-of-uneducated-toolbags-playing-power-chords-in-an-attempt-to-brainwash-the-youth-of-America.” (more…)
Lonewolf Diaries: Virginity’s for Suckers. Get Your Sex On, Kids!
by Steven CrowderIs there anything more abnormal than being a mid-teen virgin in the year 2009? Not if you’d hear Hollywood tell it. After watching a slew of teen-movies this weekend, I feel quite pathetic. It seems that all this time, I’ve been trying to follow my convictions and make a difference in this world, when I really should have been spending my time scoring with chicks. Has anybody else out there come to this realization as of late?
In the same breath, ladies; You simply haven’t been empowering yourselves as young women unless you’ve been riding the old bone rollercoaster. Purity is for losers, don’t you know…
From TV shows aimed squarely at young dames such as “Gossip Girl” or “90210,” to hit teen films like “American Pie” or the recent “Adventureland,” the message in regards to sexuality is quite clear; If you’re still a virgin at 16, there must be something wrong with you. Sure, it would be bad enough that all of these programs are laden with super-model-turned actors having sex like banshees (the parents are never around, mind you), but Hollywood doesn’t stop there. No, the good old folks in Tinseltown feel the need to twist the knife and go out of its way to point out the abnormality of abstinence. (more…)
Happy Prayer Day! (Featuring the ACLU)
by Steven CrowderI still can’t decide which is silliest; a person believing in a God who “isn’t there,” or a person offended by a God whom he doesn’t believe exists. It’s a tough question, but I’m sure Janeane Garofalo has the answer… Haven’t you heard? That dame knows everything. There’s just “no two ways about it.”
For all of you atheist Libertarians who will undoubtedly be offended by this… Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to complain about it while you’re in hell.
Lonewolf Diaries: Silly Dames of ‘The View’
by Steven CrowderHonestly, I don’t get it. If there is a more under-qualified, un-interesting group of female hacks available for hire… Well I certainly haven’t found them. Ever since my grade school days as I mastered the art of “faking sick” and I stumbled across “The View,” I’ve been confusedly asking myself the same question… How do these dumb broads remain gainfully employed?!
15 years later, I’ve grown much better at creating ficticious ailments (the key is to lick your palms), yet I remain just as vexed with the “View-ladies” as the day I found them.
Here we’ve got a show, with a pretty basic format that is clearly designed to be personality driven. So in order to analyze the success of the show one would have to take an in-depth look at said personalities. So come on folks, follow me along down the logic trail! (more…)
Steven’s Epic Journey (The “Good” Liberal List)
by Steven CrowderVery rarely does an artist open himself up to the point of being vulnerable. However, during these uncertain times, it is necessary to take risks for the sake of art. Picasso had his brush, Beethoven had his piano and I have my camera. Conservatives rejoice!
I smell an Oscar, people.
Lonewolf Diaries: Time to Body Check Obama
by Steven CrowderI was back in junior high when my dad used this unforgettable analogy: “The role of the government is similar to that of a hockey referee. His job is to keep the players safe and keep the pace of the game. No more, no less.”
Granted, my dad was really just trying to simplify an explanation for me amidst a time in my life where I’d rather be lighting my own flatulence than engaging in true political discourse, but looking back… I realize that my father is a genius! Step aside Thomas Edison and Guy-who-invented-PopTarts, there’s a new sheriff in town.
The simple, yet brilliant description should be one of the “go to” weapons in any conservative’s quiver when it comes to debating the left. See, liberals hate it when you have a firm grasp on the role of government and more importantly, the founding fathers original intent. It makes their run-around, situational ethics a lot harder to peddle. Now of course using the “hockey referee” analogy may be blatantly Canadian of me, so for all you Southerners just replace “hockey” with “football”, and if you’re gay…. “Soccer.” (more…)
R.I.P. Perez Hilton! (Featuring Perez Hilton)
by Steven CrowderOh Perez Hiton… What will you do next? If my recent column took aim at “Perez Hilton the PR stunt,” this video addresses “Perez Hilton the man.” In a nutshell; Perez Hilton is the epitome of everything that is wrong with America today. You may think that this is a little harsh… But I think it’s about time for Perez to “die by the sword.”
Note: No “method acting” was used in the making of this video… Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Lonewolf Diaries: Appreciate My Indifference to Your Sexuality
by Steven CrowderThere, I said it. I can appreciate one’s creativity, I can appreciate one’s work ethic, I can appreciate one’s mental fortitude, but I cannot (and shouldn’t be required to) appreciate someone’s sexuality. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t believe that somebody’s sexual preferences should define them. The fact that I like women, doesn’t determine who I am as a man… My principles do. Am I so wrong as to think that the same litmus test should apply across the board?
So we all know about the “Perez Hilton/Miss U.S.A” fiasco. Perez carried out a low-down, dirty trick by asking a political question (a practice from which the judges are strictly forbidden) in regards to Proposition 8. He did so in an attempt to demonize a Christian contestant knowing full well that she held the institution of marriage as being exclusive to “a man and a woman.”
Now Perez could have chosen from a multitude of more appropriate questions to ask, yet (as always), it comes back to some sort of question about sexuality. (more…)
Obama the Pee Wee!
by Steven CrowderWhat do you get when you combine a spineless president and a cabinet of cronies with some 80’s pop culture references? … Well it pretty much turns out like this.
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With that being said, Paul Reubens’ movie theater monkey-business pales in comparison to the fiasco that is the Obama presidency. So Pee Wee had a few laughs at the local Cineplex… At least he isn’t screwing up the country.
Lonewolf Diaries: “Violence Doesn’t Solve Problems…”
by Steven Crowder… Bull Crap. Listen, violence freed the slaves, took down the axis of evil and still manages to fix every remote control that I’ve ever owned. More recently, the use of force quickly brought an end to the escapades of a few Somali jackasses. Three shots fired, three men dead… And there was much rejoicing. To those of you still teaching the “violence doesn’t solve problems” myth to your kids… What are you thinking? Does anyone out there truly believe this insane rhetoric?
I find it funny that Hollywood leftists are the ones who’ve been pushing this ideal down our throats with one hand, while simultaneously producing the most brutally vile, “creative content” with the other. Libs love to paint Middle American conservatives as “Gun toting Neo-Cons with a thirst for violence,” yet more often than not, it’s those people who boycott their gratuitous, self-indulgent, crap-fests that they call films. Does anyone here honestly think that “Seung-Hi Choi” went on his Virginia-Tech shooting spree after getting fired up at an NRA rally? His pre-massacre phone-pictures showed him mimicking poses that he’d seen in “Tomb Raider” for crying out loud. Only in the United States could an entity such as Hollywood coin the term “Torture-Porn” for their content one moment, only to condemn a righteous war the next. (more…)
Silly Canadians! (Featuring Jean-Pierre Lafitte)
by Steven CrowderWatching this video, I know that many of you will have a few questions; “Canadians dislike Americans?”, “Why do they speak so weirdly?” and of course “… There’s a country to the North of us?” As merely a half-Canuck, I’m afraid that I cannot answer all of these questions. You’ll have to head up to the Great White North and find out for yourself. Folks, Canada is a great place to visit but (despite what Obama will tell other nations), there is no greater land than the U.S of A. and I’m grateful to live here… It’d be better if we could boot Sean Penn, though.
Note: If you do decide to visit, Beware the Canadian brew… Moonshine’s got nothing on that business.
Lonewolf Diaries: My Formal American Apology
by Steven CrowderI’ll be the first to say it; Barack Obama’s G20 speech inspired me over the past week… I tell you no lies. In the spirit of his apologetic, butt-kissing extravaganza, I felt compelled to make some additional apologies on behalf of our backwards nation. I suggest you all pitch in and add your own. As Americans, we’ve all got a lot to be sorry for… But admitting that we have a problem is the first step towards recovery.
To England: I would like to apologize on behalf of my American Forefathers, for flipping you the finger, fleeing your tyranny and kicking the ever-loving crap out of you only to become the world’s greatest superpower within a mere century.
I’d also like to apologize for all of the goods, services and exploding ingenuity that resulted from our crazy new liberty-based system being put into place. Capitalism is a bitch. I get that now. (more…)
Joe FREAKING Biden! (Featuring Rain Man)
by Steven CrowderOn November 4th, 2008, when I realized that Joe Biden was going to be the next Vice President of the United States, I swear that I could hear “Taps” playing faintly in the distance. There’s no used crying over spilled milk however, which is why I say; Let’s laugh at this chump while we can. Oh Joe! What will he do next?
When life gives you lemons… Poke fun at the absurdly oblivious Vice President and his pipe-cleaneresque hair-plugs.
Lonewolf Diaries: Who’d Win in a Fight (Celebrity Match-ups)?
by Steven CrowderMany of you may not know this, but before my Hollywood escapades I was once the world’s most sought after fight analyst. By “sought after,” I mean that I was swiftly escorted off of The Fertitta Brothers property with a resume in hand and tears on my face. In light of this, I’ve decided to compile a list of a few dream matchups between political pundits, writers and celebrity know-it-alls, as well as an in depth analysis of each bout. From Michael Moore to Robert Downey Jr., all of your favorites are here. I would encourage you to post your own fantasy match-ups, as well. It will be a veritable Elitist Royal Rumble. A good time shall be had by all (Sean Penn not withstanding)!
Ann Coulter vs. Katie Couric - At first glance it may look like “Hearns vs Hagler 2.0.” Ann Coulter (Tommy Hearns) has the obvious reach advantage, while Couric’s got those power-projecting hips that can knock you off of your feet. I see Couric implementing a lot of footwork however (as displayed by her constant dancing around tough questions), while trying to avoid any real damage. Expect the confidence factor to come into play as Coulter flicks a long but snappy jab, jousting Couric all the way into the final stanza. (more…)
The Obama Song! (Official Version)
by Steven CrowderI’m the first to admit it; Music is not my “forte.” However, due to the staggering number of misinformed Americans, I decided to employ some Child Education/Propaganda tactics in the latest video. Plus, everyone likes Billy Joel! Well except for his daughter…She could have had Brinkley’s looks but wound up with her dads mug. Poor girl.
Here’s to hoping that this sing-along can get through the Obamabots calcium deposited skulls!
















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