Lonewolf Diaries: Marriage Is for Suckers and Ugly Folk
by Steven CrowderIf you’ve been taking notes from such brilliant minds as Bill Maher, Cameron Diaz or ever taken a moment to observe Hollywood in the past few decades, you’d know that marriage is a dead institution. I mean, who gets married anymore (unless you’re gay)?! It’s like, “Hellooooooooooo”!
I happened to catch Cameron “My Career is Over Thanks to HD” Diaz discussing the intricacies of marriage on “Real Time with Bill Maher” this week. A lot of tinseltown jibber jabber ensued but you needn’t be bored with the self-indulgent details. Cameron basically proclaimed that she’s glad that she’d never gotten married because she “definitely would have been divorced (multiple times).” She just needed to do what was right for her and that that was constantly changing. Maher, of course, agreed and praised Cameron in her wisdom for having learned to put herself first and foremost, before all others in her life. Marriage can’t work because you have to look out for “Numero Uno”… That’s the Hollywood way!
Besides, haven’t you listened to all of the celebrity preachings? Marriage is nothing but a silly piece of paper… And you don’t need that to prove your love. Also, affairs and coke-bender-induced hooker orgies are cool and allowed… I think that’s in the fine print of a “legal union.”
Diaz then went on to say, “Anyone will tell you that like, when I’m in a relationship I’m committed like… a thousand percent!”
Firstly, don’t judge her mathematical shortcomings too harshly, as it’s beside the point. The real kicker here is that much like all of Hollywood, Cameron Diaz has no idea as to what commitment really means. What good is commitment to a relationship if it’s only temporary?
The problem is that the people of Hollywood are so wrapped up in themselves that they’ve confused their movies with real life relationships. In real life, your short-term commitment is of no good. Because unlike in the motion pictures, when the montage of naked horseback riding and fornication under the waterfall ends… The story is far from over.
The relationship will go on to be tested through ups, downs, loop-dee-loops and unexpected hardships. Once that “feeling” of initial passion is gone, you’re left with each other, your relationship, and the moral fortitude on which it was built. No longer is it the director’s (or cameraman’s or lighting guy’s) job to keep the spark alive, it’s yours and your spouse’s alone.
I wouldn’t expect the “immediate gratification” crowd of Hollywood to understand the true concept of love, however, as that would actually require them to look outside of themselves for a change. Esteeming others first… What a concept!
Am I off-base in my point of view? Do you ladies (or guys) out there feel that the “growing and cultivating” view of love is completely void of romance and has no place in the talkies? How about the real world?
All I’m saying is that I rarely find myself pointing to Sean Penn’s love life thinking, “I want to be like that.”
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252 Comments
Hollyweirdos don't know how to have meaningful relationships. They're all too superficial IMO. Oh and self centered, self absorbed and selfish.
When society collapses under the weight of government debt, we'll see how well their live for today and today's hook-up and numero uno mentality holds out. Sure, I suppose they may be rich enough to transplant themselves to a society not in decline but they won't be in demand there like they are now.
Generally, surviving alone is tougher than surviving with someone and something to live for.
we love the red meat Mr Crowder throws into the lion pit…
Marriage, and family in general, is under intense assault from all sides; it is a conceit that interferes with the Brave New World of statism and fealty to the supreme leader. If you have a value system that reads: God, Family, Country you are a trolglodyte and a dolt and need to get with the program.
One that the 'great minds' of Maher and Diaz relentlessly push- sex without love, commitment without responsibility, taxation without representation, cats without dogs…
You get the point.
Wow, a conversation between Bill Maher and Cameron Diaz on commitment hmmm… That’s kind of like Barry and Nostrils Waxman discussing the virtues of the Free Market?
Much of the Hollywood bunch, and sadly a lot of others in our society, view committment as a temporary, passing fancy. "Of course I was committed!!! I was faithful for the first year of my marriage!!"
And their empty heads fail to see their lack of understanding.
As my wife's drug addicted clients tell her over, and over, and over….
"I'm not addicted to drugs. I've quit hundreds of times"
How corny is that…standing up for love and commitment? Love IS commitment, and work and occasionally heartache. No matter how one may judge love's rewards, this kind of Love helps to build centered focused people for the better.
I think Letterman's conversation with Sandra Day O'Connor about her pet bobcat was more interesting than listening to Diaz's musings on marriage. At least he didn't ask her to spell it.
"All I’m saying is that I rarely find myself pointing to Sean Penn’s love life thinking, “I want to be like that.”"
That summed up how I feel exactly and made me laugh to boot.
It just seems that so many people in Hollywood can't tell the difference in real life and movie life. I'm convinced most are stuck somewhere in between.
good point-
nothing is better for marriage than a good ol' dose of Hard Times… one suspects the marriage rate to start going up- and soon.
the interesting thing here is that we who believe in traditional marriage are mocked everyday for our silly beliefs. indeedio no one in hollywood believes in marriage. that is unless it serves their self-serving needs. hello prop 8.
"What good is commitment to a relationship if it’s only temporary?"
Bingo! Many people have no concept of "persistent effort over time." This is a disturbing mixture of narcissism, self-delusion, and the demand for instant gratification, in my opinion and experience especially prevalent in the younger generations.
Friends bothering you? Screw 'em. Parents too demanding in their old age? Put 'em in a home. Work too hard? Quit. Marriage on the rocks? Move on. Baby not what you want? Kill it. War turning out to be harder to win than you though? Quit and run.
These are all just many ways of hitting the "abort button," and that button is always hit under the guise of "doing what's best for myself" when nothing could be further from the truth. To do what is best for yourself you have first to know yourself, and that requires being an adult, i.e. knowing your values, acting consistently with them, listening to reason (your own and others'), fulfilling your obligations, et cetera.
The fact that people like her need to go on television to talk about their values and get the approval the trained seals in Maher's audience speaks volumes, most importantly that people like her are not happy, and they're just trying to talk themselves into thinking they are.
Then someone like Sarah Palin comes all, who has done all of the things they gave up on, and is successful and happy on top of it, and their self-delusions come to light, and the shallowness and ugliness of their lonely, narcissistic lifestyle is made clear to all.
On a brighter note, "Cameron 'My Career is Over Thanks to HD' Diaz." Har!
Let's be honest. Who would marry Bill Maher?
"so many people in Hollywood can't tell the difference in real life and movie life." A perfect example of that is Richard Dreyfus testifying before Congress that John Wayne was a racist because of the part Wayne played in "The Searchers".
In our brave new world, having a child out of wedlock does not constitute a commitment , but marrying the mother of that child is a commitment and one not to be taken lightly.
David Letterman?
well reasoned and dead on…
If you don't hold yourself and your word up to a higher ideal you are simply apes in clothing; dead end beings simply achieving whatever gratification you can beg, borrow or steal. Palin upset that rubrick and caused otherwise pompous and arrogant yuppies to examine that which real life is composed of… and they were profoundly disturbed. Good.
Gov. Palin is an anathema to a soulless liberal. I hope she can hold it together with the onslaught of the loons, for 2012.
Yeah! Maybe Al Franken.
My parents have been married for 43 years, and they provided a happy, stable home for my sister and me. Situations can change, but I have no interest in getting married. As a societal norm, marriage was intended for two primal reasons: to civilize men and to produce the best outcomes for children. What I see, in society at large and in the men and women I'm friends with, is marriage as a neutering of men. The 'smart cute wife/fat dumb husband' is a cliche of American sitcoms, but the cliche remains popular because it rings true, at least for the bulk of couples I know – some happier than others.
I sense that we see more news (and use) of the term "Beta" because more men are spiritually castrating themselves in order to … I have no idea. Some Alphas like to blame women for this, but the blame is with the men. This isn't misogyny, it's a form of self-inflicted misandry I don't get and have no interest in participating in. Marriage as an institution has worked and, I've no doubt, will continue to work when practiced as its social ideal: a loving relationship in which two people create the most idyllic environment to raise children and support a family. From what I've seen, marriage has devolved rapidly, and the white-hot focus on The Ring and The Wedding is the crux.
A friend of mine just got engaged, and he went on and on about how all of his finacee's friends bragged about The Ring. When marriage is about long-term happiness, stability and children, it is a wonderful thing, and the few weddings I've attended where I knew that's what it was about, I was joyful; most, however, have been overpriced, cynical celebrations of a woman getting a rock, a dress, a cake and a glamour shot.
/no unicorns were harmed in the composition of this minor diatribe
dcase, that may have been true in pre-baby Boomer days, and maybe even for a small segment of married couples today. But it certainly was not my experience. In fact, after I proposed to my ex-wife, and before I let her answer me, I told her to answer this question inside herself first -'when hard times come, and they will, are you going to stick things out or cut and run?" I became disabled (not permanently) after 7 years of marriage, and she divorced me before doctors were even able to discover the source of my injury.
on this one, I respectfully disagree.
Ms Palin will most likely morph into a 'movement conservative'; most likely the GOP will look for a less polarizing figure. That said, no Republican will win anything without her support- so she will become a 'king maker'…
not too bad for a housewife from Wasilla…
don't forget immaturity in your mixture Nick. don't forget immaturity.
good points, all…
However, there is a sea change starting to happen in this field. No one likes emptiness, and tough times mean less self indulgence; more need for family to contribute. Like the old days. The 'male neutering' is becoming a thing of the past as increasingly females are seeking real men who can protect them.
Antiquated notion? Maybe not…
How can one expect these people to commit to something that can't be "fixed in post." Can't edit out the drool on the pillow or morning breath. It's really hard to edit out the toilet seat left up or snoring.
We shouldn't complain though, 'cause people with that attitude tend to not breed.
sorry for the sad story, Dom…
we humbly submit that this is starting to change As We Speak, Our own associations are showing this; the craven materialism is starting to wane and folk are, well, scared. Some of this is a good thing, as our old Jumpmaster once said, " a little fear is a good thing- it'll keep you alive" So, empirical evidence such as yours carries the sniff of a disappearing era.. so don't give up the ship, my friend.
That movie she was in with Christina Applegate!!! Awful!!!
The Philadelphia Story is more my taste!
right on target, mr crowder. there's only one hollywood marriage i can think of that i felt was inspiring – paul newman and joanne woodward.
Yup, the Hollywood of Newman and Woodward is loooong gone.
Here and there, I've observed what comes out of Hollywood over the past few decades, and often likened it to buying a lottery ticket…dollar gone and a piece of paper to crumple up and throw away. Carried a few fat, heavy, analog TVs to the garbage bin, too. I won't do that with the flat plasma HD, even if digital reception is poor, at best. It cost a hell of a lot more than the fat analogs. Anyway, I might pull out the old VHS, hook it up, and load some old Shirley Temple films I collected when my daughter was younger. Hollywood came out with some good stuff when times were tough. Fire all of Hollywood and their vapid musings might disintegrate into reality checks. There's enough stuff in the pre-progressive archives to fill the airwaves. Cam, et al., can let go of the image factor, go to work in the real world, meet an accountant, rough neck, electrician, get married, have kids, and watch Shirley Temple.
Marriage "is like an old-time rail journey…delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed". Marriages succeed because of an understanding that what is truely valuable in life will require sacrifices, and the hardest sacrifice is selflessness. The most miserable people I've known in my life are those who are obsessed with self.
Perhaps this is why I find it difficult to embrace the left…I know that it would be a relationship doomed due to the left's narcissism and focus on short-term gains.
I have a commitment for us Stan, and it's very simple. 2010 & 2012
I think it's called "The Wind Tunnel Affect"………….
"Cameron “My Career is Over Thanks to HD” Diaz" – Finally, somebody acknowledges that this woman isn't that pretty! She is overrated in every way. Don't forget, this is the same person who said on Oprah that unless you want rape to be legal, you'll vote in the 2004 presidential election. She's an idiot.
Marriage takes work and you only get out of it what you are willing to put into it. The Hollywood crowd has little ability to put anything into marriage because any effort they put into a relationship does not go into their career. Most of us outside of the "circus" see marriage as a help to our careers, but in order to see this, one must actually put their faith in another person…how many actors have this ability?….Will Smith…Tom Hanks…Paul Newman (RIP)…..others?
One word: selfish
What the world (the sheep) is lead to believe by folks like the Hollywood elite is that nothing else matters but 'me.' No, not this writer, but the individual.
It is a bold faced lie.
The greatest person to ever to walk the earth was the most selfless. We know Him by the name Jesus.
I'm going to join CBK in throwing a bit of a wet blanket on this thread.
At the risk of entering TMI territory, I decided that, when I got married, I was going to do everything right. So, being a musician, I waited for a musician to fall in love with, and glory be, I found one. Being a Christian, she had to be a Christian too, well, how can you beat a Church Organist/Music Minister who was also an amazing composer of choral liturgical music? Seriously, I couldn't believe my luck. Last unbelievable bit, she was a virgin, and we waited for our wedding night. Did I do it right, or did I do it right?
I was abjectly miserable. Difficult to explain – okay, impossible – but I think some people are just not cut out for marriage, and I think I'm one of those people. I really, really don't like having someone else around all the time. I actually enjoy my own company, and don't define my self worth by whether I'm in a relationship or not. In fact, I prefer solitude, and the older I get, the more I enjoy it.
In decades past, I'm betting that just thousands of guys like me took the stiff upper lip approach and lived out miserable lives out of some misguided idea of self-sacrifice or whatever. I decided God didn't create me to be miserable. Fortunately, my ex was miserable too – she really wanted a Church-going guy who was centered on all of that – while I was out playing gigs at restaurants and bars every night I could.
So, we had no kids and did a no-lawyer (Ha!), no-fault divorce. That was twelve years ago, and I haven't even had a GF since. Don't get me wrong, I love women, I just don't want one around all the time. Dinner and a movie is fine, but at the end of the night – and much more importantly, the next day – I want to be in my own house by myself.
I can't be the only guy who feels this way, but I may be the only one who admits it.
Yea, I knew Nancy Pelosi was really Michael Jackson in diguise…article at http://www.mozzsticks.com
So just like sex, Hollywood has ruined marriage as well by making it into a selfish act instead of one that is selfless. Is anyone really surprised? They seem to take really anything beautiful and twist it into something that people can toss aside if they don't like it. Next thing you know they'll ruin children as well by getting them any time they please, use them as accessories, and when they're no longer "cute" sending them off to boarding school…oops I spoke too late since that's already happening.
Perhaps it's best Diaz didn't get married so she wouldn't reproduce that kind of thinking in a child…God save us all if she and Maher have a sick and twisted love child.
I would like to add James and Gloria Stewart to the list as well.
(Married for 44 years…) Even for an old school couple that was a long time…
So sad, CBK. So terribly sad, that your view of women is so shallow and so grim.
I knew a guy like you once, and I used to quote to myself when I saw him: "Someday, I shall see thee pale with love." (It's a line from "Much Ado About Nothing".)
He's married and has two kids, and I laughed at his engagement party and hugged him twice. He was pale with love, he was, and so happy. I hope the same for you, CBK.
We shouldn't complain though, 'cause people with that attitude tend to not breed.
Problem is, we (and our children) have to pay their Social Security! (I don't have any children, by the way.)
i've always loved jimmy. nice to know he had integrity in his real life.
'The greatest person to ever to walk the earth was the most selfless. We know Him by the name Jesus." Yes, Jesus Christ, never married, no genetic children. That's quite a defense of marriage and procreation.
You guys are running? Great! You've got my vote.
Go away and stop spamming us.
My view isn't of women – it's of marriage and the industry that's sprung up around it – ring, wedding, cake, photo. That the more shallow women around me bathe in this isn't my problem, and it's a fine testament to those who don't. Separating the wheat from the part of it that ain't, though, every single person reading this has witnessed more weddings that were testaments to the self-absorption of a bride than those who've watched nuptials and said, 'wow, those two will be together forever.'
[...] Lonewolf Diaries: Marriage Is for Suckers and Ugly Folk by Steven Crowder [...]
Yes, all those horrible Hollywood libtards hate marriage. Let's all thank God we have such wonderful, faithrful, devoted family men leading us. You'd never catch a Republican cheating on his wife like the Democratic governor of South Carolina. Or hiring prosititutes to dress him in diapers like married Democratic Senator Vitter. Or preaching that gays are going to hell while slipping off once a week for a little gay sex and meth like that famous Democratic preacher from Colorado. Or trying to pick up anonymous men in an airport bathroom like that other Democratic senator from Idaho. Or hitting on teenage male pages like that OTHER Democratic senator from Florida.
Oh, no, the right wing is as pure as the driven snow. It's those icky liberals who can't stay faithful.
Yes, you are off base. How is remaining single in any way putting yourself ahead of others in your life? I do not have anything against marriage, but I fail to see the logic here. If someone doesn't want to get married, that is not selfish in any way. They are not taking anything away from anyone else. They are simply choosing to live their life out in a certain way, just like someone who chooses to get married. Remaining single is no more selfish than getting married.
Honestly, I can't even wrap my head around the notion that choosing to be single is somehow selfish. Does anyone care to attempt to rationalize this absurd notion?
I am certain, if he lives long enough, he will find that someone special that is perfect for him and they will have a strong committed relationship full of love. And how is the research coming along on cloning?
These days agreeing to pay the child support is commitment.
The good news is you don't have to participate in that, whether you get married or not. I sure as heck won't.
I mean, okay, I might want just ONE llama, and perhaps an emu for the afterparty, I mean, reception, but that's not too much to ask, is it? No, it isn't. Stop looking at me like that. It's not gonna cost THAT much. Well, if we can have your '68 Vette, instead of something CLASSY like a Rolls, like I wanted, but WHATEVER, we can have my llama and emu, can't we? Look, marriage is supposed to be about compromise… DON'T YOU LOVE ME???
d, I do hope sincerly that you are right. I really do. But, in the same way that the rush of patriotism and expressed love of country following 9/11 dissipated once we felt assured of our security by the military's success in Afghanistan, I think conspicuous consumption will be back with a vengence when times get better. I try to instill real values and virtues into my daughters (9 & 5) in the time I have with them, because God knows, how can their mother teach what she does not know? As I said I hope you are right. I just don't think that's the way to bet.
It's been several generations since we had something as tough as the Great Depression to live through. At the rate they're going, our government is bidding fair to land us in that kind of mess real soon. We're looking at years of severe, protracted societal pain if not societal collapse.
Those who have strong kin and faith bonds to fall back on will be ahead in the game of survival, and those who don't have them will start to rediscover the value those things hold very quickly.
I am becoming afraid that what we're heading for isn't going to be a simple recession unless the brakes are applied soon and applied hard.
You will find the right woman when you become the right man.
C Diaz: I'm totally committed to my relationships! Except for when I'm not.
S Crowder: 20ish white Christian male seeks caring committed relationship with Carrie Prejean… call me!
Srsly tho: "The relationship will go on to be tested through ups, downs, loop-dee-loops and unexpected hardships. Once that “feeling” of initial passion is gone, you’re left with each other, your relationship, and the moral fortitude on which it was built. No longer is it the director’s (or cameraman’s or lighting guy’s) job to keep the spark alive, it’s yours and your spouse’s alone."
Well put. Crowder gets virtual hugs for this one.
I plan to get married (I say "plan" as if randomly meeting a guy I would marry can be planned, lol) someday. To me, marriage is essential; I don't want to be in a "long-term relationship" – I wanna say, hey, you're cute and I like you a lot. Let's promise never ever to break up and to stick together. Because for one, once I find a guy I'm sufficiently compatible with and who I respect enough (who isn't a pansy and who doesn't need too much therapy), I'm not gonna want to go anywhere; and for two, if a guy wants in my life and in my bed, he can stand up before God and my parents and tell them he ain't goin' anywhere, either, first.
Some of my friends don't think like that. They're more into cohabitating indefinitely or waiting for some undetermined point in time (when they're ready to buy a house, or something financial like that) to get engaged. I don't get that, but you know, it's funny – I was just thinking earlier about the fact that my best friends from college, including those I mentioned above, come from families where the parents are still together. I wonder if being raised similarly has something to do with how we relate as adults, even though we make different choices regarding marriage? Not sure. Just something I wonder.
Well that simplifies things. You will know you have found your ideal woman when you tell her the both of you will be getting plain gold bands, dropping by the courthouse for the ceremony, and you will bring the cameraphone, and she is fine with that.
Justification list (use as needed): Just say no to blood diamonds, governmental-only ceremony to protest encroachment on what was originally a solely religious affair, and this is the internet age so why wait for photos.
BTW, do you have good health insurance or at least can duck very fast?
Hey if it's hard who wants do do it? Marriage? Raise a child? Go to war? Live within your means? Take care of aging parents? You get the picture. Just let the State take care of the hard things by allowing you to avoid them. And have no real life and no real test of who you are. No thanks.
Re: the Maher/Diaz mindset, Weird Al said it best:
It seems to me I'm relatively lucky,
And I know my love is fairly strong;
And I swear, I'm never gonna leave you darlin',
At least till something better comes along.
'Cause you're sort of everything I ever wanted;
You're not perfect, but I love you anyhow;
You're the woman that I've always dreamed of,
Well–not really, but you're good enough for now.
I just read as far as "So, being a musician, I waited for a musician to fall in love with…" and I have a feeling this is going to end badly. (Can I say that? I'm a musician, so maybe I can say that.)
I'm sorry to hear you went through that. It's good that you know these things about yourself now, though. And your post has given me interesting things to think about. I think it's not really possible to plan to do things "right" – if doing things "right" is only following a checklist of what seems to make sense. I think some of the "right" things (like waiting for sex) are excellent ideas, which I actually promote, but those several things alone actually insufficient. Scary thought that we can't just follow the rules and have everything work out! There's even more to it, like timing (OMG, TIMING, you can't plan that. "I'm gonna be married by 30!" many ladies say. Okay, you CAN, but if the guys you know aren't right for you, what are you gonna do? Nab one and make him miserable anyway? I hope I don't start to freak out as I near 30 and do something irrational!). And compatibility – and actually meeting someone compatible who you'd smooch when they have morning breath. Ugh. Man. No wonder you prefer solitude. We women can be terrible overthinkers. I'd think I'll be better off if I learn to appreciate solitude more and save the rules and the ways of doing things right for if I just happen to meet someone I can't get enough of who I could actually live with for 50 years.
Ha! You're from Texas. Me too.
My mom – the wisest woman I know, of course – said, when my marriage failed, "You try to make everything logical, and not everything is logical."
I hate that not everything is logical! LOL!
I see a couple of reasons why successful marriages are so rare in Hollywood:
1) Celebrities thrive on The Limelight. An important part of a happy and lasting marriage is that both people are willing to put their partner's needs in front of their own. When you are a celebrity, you are used to having everyone else cater to your every need and shower you all day with flowery adoration.
2) Entertainers live in an alternate reality, where they get to portray other people and live out their noble, yet pre-scripted, lives. Real life has no script and is completely unpredictable. Why else do you think so many celebrities are substance addicts? They spend so much time in fantasy land, that they cannot cope with real life.
3) Marriage (and most of OUR daily lives) is not always exciting and romantic. In fact, I'd argue that my favorite part of my 10+ year marriage right now is the relaxed and comfortable friendship that I have with my wife. Sure, I still give her a good rodgering when she gets a craving for the baloney pony, but enjoy going shopping for groceries, talking in the car during road trips to see friends and family, or other mundane tasks just as much as doing the mommy-daddy dance….as long as we're together.
So… basically she hasn't gotten married because she is selfish…. Ok I buy that… if I were a male I wouldn't want to marry her anyway… who wants to live with a selfish wench for the rest of their lives?
I should think Myrtle the Turtle or Tommy Tortoise would make fine candidates.
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I think you made a very good point…and it also kind of hits on what someone else mentioned…easy to have a baby…somehow that iS NOT a commitment, but getting married…whoo…that takes LOTS of thought. So many people I hear of nowadays postpone a wedding long after having a kid or kids because they need to save up for "the wedding"…or what's also known as "the party". Period. It's all show, it's all juvenile….it's all pathetic. I think there used to be some Hollywood couples that were normal married people (Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward) but that's because they were 'grown-ups' and those are in very short supply in all of society now.
"I hate that not everything is logical!" I KNOW, me too! And w00t for Texas!
So, you're saying it's all about the ring? Sort of gynocentric, though – as stated, no interest in getting married. The idea that that gold bands are "plain," explains more than I ever could.
Best advice I ever got was to always put the needs of my wife ahead of mine……
The person giving the advice then turned and looked at my wife and told her to always put my needs ahead of hers
25 years and going strong !!!!!…only a drop in the bucket since in my faith we are married for
Time and all Eternity (not just till Death do us part)
The institution of marriage is a covenant and a system that is endorsed by God…
anything else is just selfishness !!!!!!!
Oh yeah… I only have one wife and love her dearly (LOL)
There is something to be said about being by yourself…either sometimes or forever. My mother was widowed in her 50's and is just fine being alone-she is now 74…she loved my dad but doesn't want some other old guy hanging around vying for the remote! She has always been independent-drives herself all over (too fast) and manages as an adult should. My mother-in-law on the other hand, can't imagine that a person isn't totally dependent on someone else…(she's 85). Even before she got older she couldn't think of driving herself anywhere…or going to a restaurant alone…NOTHING. She thinks of two of her bachelor Norwegian brothers and just feels so bad that they never married…well, maybe they didn't want to..it is OK!! Although, there's something about a happy, cozy marriage and, in the words of a Dar Williams' song (I'll Miss you Til I Meet You):
"..But there are days I think of you
Saying, 'hey, that's beautiful,
Yeah, I see it too.'
It's just kind of nice to have someone to share life and memories with.
I wasn't alive for the Depression. My parents were just kids. But I remember Ford's 'WIN' (Whip Inflation Now) buttons, and Carter's rate of inflation, ridiculously high interest rates, '79 fuel shortages. And everybody said it would take many years to fix what was economically wrong. Especially taming inflation. But after Reagan got elected he got with Paul Volker and they agreed on a sound monetary policy that would bring inflation to heel, but have a strong recessionary effect in the short term. But they were right. And by '84 the economy was turning around and Reagan won 49 states.
Now I'm gonna make an anology here. During WWII, both the British and the Russians (seperately) investigated the possibility of trying to assasinate Hitler. And the high commands of both countries reached the same conclusion: victory over the Nazis would come sooner by leaving Hitler alive and capitalizing on his constant strategic blunders. So right now I feel that by Obama's insane over-reaching to spend like a crack whore, and nationalize entire segments of the economy, and tax the populus into oblivion, conservative candidates will have very fertile ground on which to make their cases to the electorate in 2010, and the right conservative candidate in 2012 will also be able to ride Obamas strategic blundering right back to 1600. But not Romney, Huckabee or any other faux conservative. The mother of 5 in Alaska keeps looking better and better.
LOL! Good luck to your future husband.
So, I guess that means that Cameron Diaz hates gay people. She insists that marriage is bad, but supports the gays to get married. *They* can be happy, but not heterosexuals. Hm
Hollywood has unfortunately molded us throughout the last several decades. It takes very strong parents to grab their kids by the ear and swim upstream against the mental and psychological flotsam projected by media. The "entertainment committee" in Hollywood has lead us peasants in the wrong direction, and it's time for THINKERS to push back. Promiscuity and narcissism have pulled us apart, and with government leaning in the same ultra-Liberal direction, we may totally unravel. I PERSONALLY agree with HUCBALD…I prefer to have my mind and my thinking under my own control, without having a woman performing a brain transplant on me. That's another issue, but as far as marriage and monogamy are concerned, I believe in it 100%. Commitment in relationship covers love, business, friendship, citizenship and all others. If there is no devotion or respect given to our partners, WHAT do we have?? A BIG FAT "nothing". Hollywood needs to be chipped away and floated out into the Pacific DURING the OSCAR ceremonies. That way, the entire entertainment cartel would be on this new island paradise. Then maybe we could begin to live a real life without their influence. I love kids, but I am glad I don't have any little girls watching all this crap. Lastly, I live much of the time in the FSU, and I can see here what breaking up the family unit has accomplished. It's not pretty, and it's happening in America right now. Long live marriage and commitment!!!
LOLz! +1 for quoting Weird Al!
Mormons have the best senses of humor!
Here my favorite "Cameron Diaz is stupid" story:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4639...
Charlie's Angels star Cameron Diaz has managed to commit a political faux pas with her choice of handbag.
She took a bag emblazoned with a Chinese communist slogan on a trip to Peru, despite the country's recent history during which a Maoist-inspired insurgency led to 70,000 deaths.
Diaz, 34, was visiting the Inca city of Machu Picchu, a popular tourist site high in the Andes, wearing a green bag printed with a red star and the words "Serve the people" in Chinese script.
I once heard Dr. Drew say this in response to a question about Hollywood stars and their short marriages:
"The inability to develop and maintain interpersonal relationships is a sign of poor mental health."
If you think about that and apply it to Hollywood, it fits very well. And don't just apply it to the stars that can't stay married. Think of the ones that have maintained long-term relationships and you will find that they tend to be the more "normal" ones.
He didn't actually mention "only" the ring. He brought it full circle–no big wedding and no big rock. The right woman will realize it's not about the material things. You have a right to be cynical though. I know so many women who start planning the wedding before they find a groom. Hopefully you'll find a girl who'll show you that not all women are like that someday.
We don't all need the same things out of life. I know a lot of couples who have chosen not to have kids– and that's the right choice for them. There's no reason to think you're strange because you don't like being married– why should you? Because society says you should? You know what's right for you and I think it's better that you be happy single than make yourself — and someone else miserable– married.
Diaz seems to be protesting too much. I suspect she would be married if she had gotten an offer she liked. Maybe I'm wrong–marriage isn't for everyone. But I think it's hard for a woman, high profile or not, to be in her late 30's and not be married. I know a few single women around Diaz's age and there's a lot of defensiveness there. All the women I know personally would really love to be married and have a family– it's just never worked out for them.
Keith Olberman
Amen to the NO kids part, I am SO on board with that.
Who needs nasty little booger pickers to validate your life. 
Don't give the milk away Thorien, make him buy the cow.
Holy cow! The notifications are working again! This is the first time in at least a month I got a notification that someone responded to a post.
Anyway. I probably should have mentioned that I have two kids… Ah well. It's not for everyone. I do have some funny booger stories though…
A couple of great liberals…
Yup, those are pretty extinct, too.
"What good is commitment to a relationship if it’s only temporary?" -and marriage automatically means it's permanent? Sorry, Lonewolf, your point is definitely valid but the sad fact is that marriage is literally a piece of paper. HOWEVER, the relationship is not based on a white dress and ring, it's based on the two people involved. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel anyone? How about Jude Law & Sadie Frost? The difference being one couple was married w/ kids and the husband cheated like a dog. While the other pair have been together for over 20 years, happily unmarried. Cameron D. has never met anyone worth sticking with. She hasn't met anyone that she is ready to battle through life with. She's only met guys that only make her want to leave when things get rough. Why get married if you haven't come across that person? Why get married if you have come across that person but neither of you are interested in the legal aspects? Marriage is no longer expected from men OR WOMEN. It's a preference. Some people want the ceremony and cake and others just want the one they're with and a box of ice cream. Let's also add that many of us are the spawn of screwed up families-both divorced and still married parental units, so marriage is not so appetizing when you've seen it fail first hand.
I am one of those rare females who is a marriage dodger. Why? Because I hail from a family of fighting, cheating, half-siblings, screaming/ shouting holidays and THEY'RE ALL STILL MARRIED (because their Catholic of course). Why would I subject myself to that? I believe in not repeating your parents mistakes. It just so happens my parents mistake was marrying eachother. They never loved us kids enough to bless us with a divorce, so NONE of us are married. And they have the nerve to not understand why their children are anti-marriage.
Both my husband and I come from families in which our parents had been married a long time (30 years+) and the grandparents never divorced either. My mom did have one previous marriage before she met my dad, but my only experience was with parents who stayed married– and I do think that makes a difference. I've been with my hubby for 14 years now (11 married) and we never lived together prior to marriage (I'm proud I insisted on that). I don't know if living together is a bad idea or not, but everyone I've known who did that ended up divorced. My brother lived with his girlfriend for 6 years before getting married and they divorced two years after marriage. I swear his wife was a different person after the wedding. It's as if living together was the audition period.
I can't claim to have any answers, I can only say what has worked for me. I do think living together is a bad idea though. I know one woman who has been with her boyfriend for 14 years and she's still waiting for the engagement ring. They've bought a house together, so I don't know what the hold-up is. Supposedly they're going to get married before they have kids– but I won't hold my breath.
Steve, great points.
I've tried to live by the notion that you don't marry the person you can live with. You marry the person you can't live without. That takes care of a lot of the nonsense that goes into being in a relationship. Not all of it, but a good deal.
Re: Cameron Diaz. The only thing her and Bill Maher should be discussing is how often they canoodled with each other in the Playboy Mansion grotto. That would be the only thing remotely intersting about these two brainless celebutards.
What does the thread thing about long-term couples who don't marry?
I'm referring specifically to Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn, who aren't married, but have been together for years, so long that Kate Hudson considers Kurt to be her dad.
Or, to make things interesting, the 'open' long-term relationship of Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed?
Is the more important concept "commitment" or "marriage?"
Your note was the last one I read last night and I was speechless! Me, right? A woman!! ha-ha. I am happily married for 25 yrs. but do NOT recommend it to everyone, even to my own kids. I am not going to be one of those empty nesters–"when are you going to get married, where is my grandchild?" Bleech! One of my daughters laughs when her romances crumble and says "Loves got to wait, huh, moms?" They know. Never say never and enjoy your art. Life has beautiful moments no matter who you are.
What do you think of playing pool but not having to call the shot?
Has-been. I can't believe the reporter couldn't find a reality star more interesting than Cameron!
How come in Hollywood marriage is considered archaic and outdated, silly and not necessary, when it comes to HETEROSEXUALS, but life or death important when it comes to HOMOSEXUALS? I hear stars say all the time they don't need the paper to be married, or that they feel married in their heart so doing the ceremony is totally unnecessary. Can someone explain this to me?
"Serve the people"
Note to self: Never buy Chinese-made pet food.
Oh, I just LOVE your screen name, "W" Right One! It is SO reassuring to know you are not really a h8er, you just like getting a "rise" out of people. Oh well, that is your thing and it works for you, so enjoy! Toodles!
Wow!I did that for 25 years,on the road as well!My best gf from all this time and myself are still best friends.We know to not destroy the relationship by living together or marriage.Believe me,it's not that it's all about me or her or anything,just not for us.Don't know if this is relevent but we're both the oldest siblings in large extended families.
I'll add Denzel Washington and Angela Bassett to the list.
These two highlight the major ingredient to a successful marriage: putting Christ first in your life and leaning on Him to develop selfless love for each other. From personal experience, it also helps to surround yourself with like-minded people who will encourage you during the hard times.
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