R.I.P. Perez Hilton! (Featuring Perez Hilton)
by Steven CrowderOh Perez Hiton… What will you do next? If my recent column took aim at “Perez Hilton the PR stunt,” this video addresses “Perez Hilton the man.” In a nutshell; Perez Hilton is the epitome of everything that is wrong with America today. You may think that this is a little harsh… But I think it’s about time for Perez to “die by the sword.”
Note: No “method acting” was used in the making of this video… Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
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264 Comments
I don't understand why you were so easy on that scumbag- are you in a particularly good mood today? LOL
perez (giving all the perezes a bad name): an intellectual feather-weight pop culture scab on the stanky arse of nastiness, or the liberal left. one in the same.
I will take her "half a brain" over his "half the required male hormones" any day……..
Who was the genius that put Perez Hilton as a Miss America judge anyway…….
That's like asking Benito Mussolini to judge an 8th grade essay contest on "Democracy in America".
come on people…..who cares what this moron thinks…….!!!!!!!!!!!!
Crowder….the guy with hat hit too close to home for most of my relatives in Arkansas………
Too stinking funny man….too funnny
Some young gays must see behavior like Hiltons and feel such self loathing thinking they may become like that as they grow older. Oh, and how was that shower you must have taken afterwards Steven?
A militant gay liberationist who uses graffitti and crude comments to entertain the like minded and preach to the choir. The sad thing about his tasteless rant against Miss California is, as is so common with his ilk, he over reacted then oversold his position. If he had asked the question then sat there looking hurt with a puppy dog sad face his ambush would have been much more effective. He only lacks a Bozo wig and shoes.
Well I never thought about having sex with another man until Perez Hilton spilled onto the screen. Now I just can't think about sex period. It's like after seeing a horrific traffic accident and then trying to shake it off as you drive. I think that question was designed to tank any of their chances because he was feeling catty and they were the woman he'll never be. Real gays must hate Perez because he drives so many of them back to straight. I want him to get married so he will lose at least half of his stuff as soon as his partner's rohypnol wears off. Then he will realize those rightwingers were actually watching out for him.
Before the Miss America blow, pun intended. I had never heard of this guy. I thought Paris had taken a new name, in the vein of, the artist formerly known as prince.
Wow. That was funny! Thank you, Steven.
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This guy could actually keep young gay men in the closet for fear of people thinking they might be like him.
does perez hilton have no understanding of how the new celebrity works? he is single handedly responsible for making this girl a star. runner up is usually a quick ticket to oblivion. but hilton's conniption will end in her getting movie offers and an anchor job at fox.
five years back wannabe actresses released sex tapes in hope of getting noticed. but that no longer shocks. here we have a woman committing what is, from a hollywood perspective, the ultimate act of perversion. she says something MORAL.
my neighborhood is full of D, E, and F level celebrities. Used to see perez hitlon all the time at the local coffee shop, busy defacing other people's copyrighted photos for his web site. he gave off such a creepy vibe that even the homeless steered clear of him.
Sentence for Perez Hilton? Death by bunga-bunga.
Perez Hilton is a 'victim'.
LEAVE PEREZ ALONE!
Steven, you make fantastic, animated commentary. Next time, be sure to have an ABBA impersonation in there.
That was perfect! Perez Hiltons little publicity stunt exposes exactly what a venomous little sleaze ball he is.
I agree with you! Great Job, Steven.
When I look I Perez Hilton, I just think of the Blob with a really dirty mouth.
Most just ignore him or post on Big Hollywood message boards.
Truer words have never been said. She's eclipsed the winner thanks to Perez's foot in mouth disease…
I'm waiting for an apology from who ever actually puts on these beauty pageants. Typically I would think that any business would be embarrassed by Perez Hilton's comments. They were disgusting and inappropriate at every level. If he has such a low regard for women and especially women who happen to believe men and women should be the only ones who get married, then should he even be judging this competition.
Does beauty pageant mean liberal conformity?
Crowder your hilarious as always keep up the good work.
I'd never even heard of Perez Hilton until this blow up, but I think Mr. Crowder sums him up quite nicely.
Dear God, man! That had me in TEARS!!! Well played, Mr. Crowder, well played. Perfectly accurate and hilarious!
I hope you don't mind… I embedded the YouTube clip on my blog to share the hilarity with my readers.
Keep up the good work!
My life was richer before I knew there was a male version of Paris Hilton. A little piece of me has died.
whatever happened to that guy? heard he was getting a reality show, then nothing.
Steve you were just slightly off in your reason for having his bully pulpit. He didn't get the pulpit because he's gay. He got it because he's a gay bully.
The guys and gals on Red Eye say he stinks, too.
Love you Steve!!!
Until I saw him, I thought it was just someone playing off the Paris name, but I didn't know if it was a male or a female. Now that I've seen, I'm still not sure.
Now THERE'S the doctrine of unintended consequences if I ever heard it.
Unless I'm wrong, I think I got it. Brittany, right? It's hard to demonstrate a red face and rivers of tears on a printed web comment. If I'm right, you get a thumb up from me. If I'm wrong, drop dead.
If Saturday Night Live wanted to grow its viewing audience, they would come over to the DARK SIDE and hire a FUNNY comedian like you.
Keep up the good work. I look forward to your new videos each week.
Sheeeet! I get it. This is the website for dumb, middle-American 40 year olds to talk about Hollywood. Hey, I hear Kevin James has a new project. Discuss.
mr. donald trump is the owner of this illustrious event, and i'm sure he's thanking perez for bringing so much publicity to this second-rate pageant. i believe that carrie prejean is much too good for this sort of thing and i commend her for standing by her convictions.
steven, you rock (as always).
You're right. And since you found out that you don't belong here, go back to your site for dumb teenage fanboys. I hear Britney Spears has written a great poem set to really cool music with dancers and everything. Don't discuss.
I hadn't heard of Perez except for seeing his name listed on my homepage's popular searches a while back. I never checked into it because… I just didn't care.
As usual Steven, you had me LMAO. Always good for a chuckle. I'd like to duke it out with the bully gay boy, but then he'd be crying for his mommy ( or daddy, whatever the case may be), before I would even get the first punch in. Just seeing that clip of him asking "the question" with that smug look on his face made me want to pound the p!ss out of him. How dare he!!!
Thank God for Carrie Prejean, and her standing her ground. I would be more than happy to rally in support of her if some other creep decides to take a swing at her. I say…"Bring it on!!!" Those libs are nothing but a bunch of weenies anyway.
Superb video! I thought Hilton was a putz before this and now think even worse of him, if such is even possible. I disagree with Miss California myself but to treat her in such a despicable manner as he did reveals more about the flaws in Hilton's character than Miss California's logic. We can believe someone is honestly wrong without dehumanizing them. Kudos to you, Miss Cally, for sticking by your convictions no matter what others may think of them!
Oops. BRITNEY. I keep forgetting that my family knew how to spell.
Attaboy LawhawkSF, you tell 'em!!! We don't need any of them little punks anyway. They just think they are going to distract us (like the current administration thinks it can do), and knock us off balance, but, we have our eyes on the ball.
And…I can multitask with the best of them.
hollywood has a lot of mystery odors. so i can't isolate anything to him.
this town is full of sycophant media types. so i want to applaud anybody who makes fun of celebrities. and i have no problem with them being mean about it. but the perez hilton site is just not very clever.
That's a LIE! I live on the West Coast!
Very good. Much needed political comedy!!
If he'll be an "old queen" when (and if) he ages, does that mean that he's a "princess" now, while he's younger? Would that make him jealous of women like say, oh…MISS CALIFORNIA?
Yeah. You don't have to be old to recognize a punk when you see one, but it helps.
And I live in that little middle-American village known as San Francisco.
Aw, you scared him off Lawhawk, and he was just about to tell us about his hero Kevin James.
Personally, I'd rather hear about the life and times of Rick James, but CTS probably wasn't prepared to go off his little talking points. Do you know he spent FOUR hours carefully crafting his little post. Such dedication. I really shows too.
Steven Crowder is truly the Steven Crowder of his time.
Offensive intolerance has victimized one in five gays and lesbians with a H8 crime or incident in the past four years.
We're Just Like You!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rXJiFroTh8
LEAVE PEREZ ALONE!
I was hoping it would be about the life and times of Jesse James. I'm an old guy, you know. I knew it must have taken him a long time because he spelled sheeeet! correctly.
Right now, I'm wondering who will be doing the article entitled "Don't Be So Hard On Perez Hilton."
Seriously though, having Perez Hilton judge a Beauty Contest is like having Ray Charles judge a film festival….like having Woody Allen call a square dance….like, well you get the picture.
Brian
I noticed that too. It looks to me like he "struggled" with each word. . . oops, meant "wrestled."
Jesse James? Didn't he write the King James Bible?
Homosexuality isn't a crime. Homophobia is!
I nominate Anderson Cooper for the job of exonorating Perez because he would be fair.
Do not even jest about that. Next thing you know, we'll have half a dozen more columns about this dimwit.
Nope. God dictated it. Jimmy just wrote it down. Which just proves that God speaks English.
Being intolerant and sarcastic won't win Rethuglicans back to the power they squandered. Why can't homophobes understand their H8's not "All About Us" for once?
He sure is piling up the fatwas though isn't he? LOL
I second that. Not funny. Take it back LH before someone hears you.
Squeal like a pig troll boy!!! Woooo hoooooo!
I understood God to speak English as well.
By the way, did you notice the troll? Must be out of muffins at the shelter.
I nominate Anderson Pooper, er… Cooper to get to the bottom of Perez as well.
And not a cool kind of knowing all the DK lyrics type punk either.
Will he be bringing his tea bag schitck with him as well?
Nah… this one's better than the original:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM8l3X_7Hkg
All crimes are hate crimes, I've never heard anyone being the victim of a "I want to be your pal!" crime.
You're right though. Homosexuality isn't a crime. It's a sin. Well, at least when it's acted upon to be fair. The temptation or attraction itself is not a sin. Correct me if I'm wrong fellow believers.
I don't know, let's ask Mr. Smitherqueen. He seems to know Anderson really, really well.
Why can't you understand language, -phobe indicates fear of something. I'm not afraid of you I just agree with you, there's a subtle but important distinction there that Steven brought up in his video, which you would have known if you actually took the time to watch it.
I agree. I'm a Republican who has no problem with gay marriage. Call me wacky, but demonizing the opposition usually doesn't work in swaying opinion.
You know what's even worse than a H8 crime? An H4 crime. Those are brutal, evil crimes. Of course, they're nothing like H3 crimes. Man! You do not want to be a victim of an H3 crime!
The absolute worst are the H20 crimes, I nearly got marginally bruised by a smelly anarchist tossing a mailbox once. Only marginally because smelly anarchists don't put a lot of force into their tossing.
Think ………. Trump
Muffins or muffin stumps? Because the last I heard there was a big to do at the shelter over muffin stumps. They were blaming some woman that can't dance. Not Auntie, another one.
Oh Good grief gentlemen lighten up with the bullying, I was being ironic.
Perez Hilton's a moron totalitarian thug through and through.
You can tell by that little twinkle he got in his eye while bullying one of the most beautiful women in the world (after asking her for her opinion).
So you're saying our new troll is actually Olbermann in drag? Well it explains a lot…
I know you're being ironic, I'm just having some fun.
They do seem to be short on baking skills.
Ok, that's going too far. It's all fun and games until somebody plucks out their eyes to avoid seeing Olbermann. . . in or out of drag.
1 in 2 Mormons have been victimized of a HATE speech or incident throughout their life……….
Dude…don't ever use statistics to make your point…..its cute but its WRONG !!!!!!!
(Apologies to 2 Stupid Dogs)
Offensive intolerance….what does that mean… (Is there such a thing as inoffensive intolerance)
How about Offensive lifestyle being shoved down my throat every where I go and when I speak up about it I am accused of being HATEFUL…………
Smithereens: You ignorant, illiterate, lousy little piece of human crap. You know nothing about me. But if you did, you would have known that the best man at my wedding was gay, that I was go-to counsel in the West Valley of Los Angeles for gay discrimination cases, that I gave the eulogy at the funeral for that same best friend. Many of my closest friends are gay or supporters of gay causes. Try spelling hate correctly, since that is exactly what you are automatically guilty of for calling me a homophobe without having a clue as to what I believe and what public stands I have taken time and again.
You're not anything like me, and I thank God for that. I judge people by what they are, not by whom they sleep with or which cause I support while being completely ignorant of what the other person believes. "Homossexuality," whatever that is, is not a crime, and whoever put that soft-porn video together needs to learn how to spell before trying to convince anybody of anything. Your intolerance is indeed offensive. Almost as offensive as your ignorance. And by the way, homophobia is not a crime either. It's an attitude that has done great harm. much like your heterophobia, you pissant. Many very fine people who don't hate anyone oppose gay marriage, including at least one of my gay friends.
You want to know why people dislike Perez Hilton? Look in the mirror. He's just like you. An ignorant, illiterate, lowlife, judgmental mouth-breather. He judges people entirely on whether or not they agree with his elementary school opinions. His sexuality has very little to do with it. Anderson Cooper won't defend him if he has to sit within twenty feet of him.
The board ate my H20 crime joke, I am now unamused!
And now it's back, weird, okay I am appeased.
I was a witness to an H9 crime just the other day. The criminal was going for an H10 but we stopped him in time.
But can they dance?
If it makes you feel better, 1 of 1 AndrewPrices enjoyed your post.
Ah my irony detector is broken tonight. Sorry, you can have some of my pie if Auntie ever coughs it up.
That was money. Well done, sir!
You probably should have said something sooner — you may have caused Lawhawk's head to explode.
You probably should have said something sooner — you may have caused Lawhawk's head to explode.
I honestly don't know. We can ask. I'm sure Auntie (aka Better Crocker) will appreciate having a second question to avoid.
I honestly don't know. We can ask. I'm sure Auntie (aka Better Crocker) will appreciate having a second question to avoid.
Too late. I already went ballistic on him when I found out the little twerp was being serious about poor lovable Perez. You and a lot of people on this site know where I stand on gay bashing and intolerance, and who many of my friends are. This little sack of anderson pooper comes along and calls me a homophobe, and the ever-clever H8 guy. There's a limit to the insults I'll take, even from a completely hysterical fanboy, and this clown crossed the line.
Yeah I know what you mean, I heard that his Cornell diploma actually dropped itself off the wall, slid towards the fireplace but was caught by Olbermann's mom before it could jump in.
When she aked why it tried to commit suicide the diploma said."For one thing he keeps looking at himself in the reflection on my frame, which creeps me the hell out, for another he keeps rubbing me in inappropriate ways." Even inanimate objects aren't immune to the Curse of Olbermann.
Hey maybe we can get someone to start up a Dancing With the Trolls show! That would be good fun there.
You definitely got your righteous smote on!
I did too. I am not Andrew Price, nor play him on TV however.
If you thought Anderson Cooper was bad, you should have heard David Shuster (sp?) from MSNBC. I'm not sure if there's a you tube video of it or not, but there's more dirty double entendres in there than you can shake a stick at.
I used to work at a production company responsible for producing local news for several different network affiliates, and I can't even imagine one of our anchors saying what he did on air. First, because they are way more professional than that and have too much respect for their job to stoop to that level and do something so juvenile. And second, because when it would have gotten back to the news director, they likely would have been severely reprimanded, if not fired.
You know, I'm going to be believe that because I want to believe it, and because it's getting late and my mind is mush.
You sir, are a national hero!
What a dirty tosser. . . (little Brit humor there).
It's all true, I wouldn't make something that serious up.
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