Torture and Gitmo! (Featuring Steven’s Beheading)
by Steven CrowderI hate to say it, but we’re officially becoming a nation of sissies with radical leftists leading the cause. Tipping our hand to the enemy and openly “banning torture” defies all logic and denies the history of war. Now, before you start groaning about it, I know that there were many more points to be covered… But YOU try making the idea of released detainee’s going back to terrorism funny.
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It should also be noted that many Gitmo detainees actually GAIN weight as result of finally eating on a regular basis. Really though, with Michael Moore featured in last week’ video… How many more “fat jokes” do you need?
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341 Comments
Steven, you just keep gettin' better 'n' better!
Good stuff.
Liberals have stripped the word torture of any meaning as they have done with other words such as 'rape.' This is what you get from silver spoon liberal eunuchs who consider waiting in line at starbucks for 10 min to be torture and opression.
What’s rediculous is that these cretins consider waterboarding to be torture. Hell, I waterboard myself for fun. Give me these liberals thumb sucking bedwetters for a weekend and I’ll teach them what torture is; working in construction I have quite a collection of power tools.
THE 90 Year-Old SOLUTION to our problem:
General "Black Jack" Pershing and the Muslim Terrorists in the Philippines before WW I
Just before World War I, there were a number of terrorist attacks on the United States forces in the Philippines by Muslim extremists. So General Pershing captured 50 terrorists, and had them tied to posts for execution. He then had his men bring in two pigs and slaughter them in front of the, now horrified, terrorists.
Muslims detest pork, because they believe pigs are filthy animals. Some of them simply refuse to eat it, while others won't even touch pigs at all, nor any of their by-products. To them, eating or touching a pig, its meat, its blood, etc., is to be instantly barred from Paradise (and those virgins), and doomed to hell.
The soldiers then soaked their bullets in the pigs' blood, and proceeded to execute 49 of the terrorists by firing squad. The soldiers then dug a big hole, dumped in the terrorist's bodies, and covered them in pig blood, entrails, etc. They let the 50th man go.
And for the next 42 years, there was not a single Muslim extremist attack anywhere in the world.
Wow Saul. Thanks for that. I think I'll just post how much I enjoy Steven's videos.
How could they disgrace pigs this way? What a horrendous abuse of these poor animals. Where is PETA when we need them? SAVE THE PIGS… SAVE THE PIGS… (no silly, I am talking about the ANIMALS, not PETA).
Sounds like the perfect answer to those pig waste lagoons that are polluting some states. Put that stuff into tanks and spray it over Waziristan any any other area known to harbor terrorists.
I don't know Steve, can you really say that being forced to listen to Barney for five minutes isn't torture? ;P
By the way, nice video — you make torture fun!
Shave the pigs. . . what?
You are hilarious! Way out of SNL's league. Seriously.
I hope Mel Gibson saw that.
Are you going to do education sometime (NEA member tries to tell Jihadist he's misunderstood, culturally oppressed, and is justified, because Edward Said says so)?
Gitmo torture?
Now we see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
I guess this means that all college students are "tortured" because at this moment I am so sleep deprived at this point in the semester I can barely make coherent sentences!
I read pne of the "tortures" was that the terrorists didn't get 3 square meals a day…I wish people would care about our homeless and needy as much as they do these terrorists.
Marry me? *semi joking*
Seriously though, it was nice to be able to laugh at something as serious as torture. I don't really agree with you on the waterboarding thing, but I do agree that the idea that there's any similarites between the actions of the US and those of her enemies is ridiculous.
Steven I am go to miss seeing you on this site when you make it big in Hollywood, if Obama does not get to you first.
Torture, I thought that is when you see Obama on TV day in and day out every single stinking day he is on TV. When is this guy going to get a job. I guess he will define the new generation of the Boob Tube.
I think we just need to follow the Geneva convention. No uniform=death penalty. That should take care of the issue.
======I don't really agree with you on the waterboarding thing,=======
Liz, waterboarding is just another name for "keg stand" which occurs nightly on college campuses nationwide. The lawyers have relegated us to tickling terrorists with feathers and not giving them lemon with their chicken and rice pilaf.
I would waterboard the lawyers with the terrorists.
Man you kept me laughing for 3 whole minutes… I could not even watch the last bit because I was laughing so hard.
"Naked guy, funny…. *shake it around* ok…" Knife removed from sheath sound* "Damn it."
"I'm guessing you can't just flush a bible and call it a day? no…"
classic
Keep it up man
Saul, I've always loved that story. If we could only return to the days of Blackjack Pershing. He would have had Sadr strapped to the barrel of a tank as he rolled through Sadr City decimating and perforating the Mahdi Army.
Best one yet! I laughed and laughed… oh, how I laughed!
OMFG! That was without a doubt the funniest thing I have ever seen. Holy moley. HAHAHAHAHA!
I thought that a Turban and a Bhurka (sheet, whatever….) was a uniform. Is "Death to America" the new Rebel Yell?
Dude my wife thinks I am nuts (and I probably am) but I am dying here. The occasionally "death to America!" blurted at the right times was hilarious! Seriously, if a tool like Jimmy Fallon can get his own late-night show, it should be a slam dunk for Crowder. Of course, he is a conservative so the networks will probably give Rosie O'Donnell yet another opportunity first.
That was like tickle torture. One of these days you're gonna make me pee.
[...] If Steven Crowder doesn’t quickly get less talented and much, much less funny I’m going to turn in my license to blog, hang up my ethernet cable and go home. Category: Art, Humor, Islam, Rufus | Leave a comment [...]
That was awesome. I watched it again on youtube just so I could rate it. And so I could enjoy it again.
Brilliant! I'm wiping away tears here.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeellll, doggies! I'm glad that my work firewall restricts YouTube. Laughing my fool head off at your videos would get me fired.
Well done, sir. Well done!
If you do not recognize the brilliant satire of this video, then the terrorists have already won.
If waterboarding were the horrific torture that some people make out it out to be, I don't think you'd find people volunteering to be waterboarded in order to demonstrate what horrific torture it is. I mean, you don't see the Code Pink crowd hooking car batteries up to their own genitals or giving themselves a manicure with a pair of pliers or even burning themselves with cigarettes but they'll happily line up to be waterboarded to protest the war. That right there is a pretty good indication that as far as forms of torture go, waterboarding isn't that bad.
this is going to be hilarious after bush is tried for war crimes.
http://www.iht.com/articles/2009/03/09/america/la...
Hey, don't be hatin on the Rebel Yell.
Way too funny. I liked the whole thing. Even the take off at the end was just classic. Great Job.
Thats pretty cool actually.
Funny stuff. Well done. Had the calls yet from any of the late night TV shows? They must be lining up to hire a genuinely funny guy like you.
However, you may have to tone down some of the material. Especially the Muslim stuff.
The President gets really upset when people make fun of his relatives.
I have barely chuckled at SNL in the last 10 years. Who am I kidding, I haven't watched it in the last 5. This put a urine stain down both legs. Keep it coming. The nation will need someone who makes them laugh when they get tired of giving each according to his ability and recieving according to his need. (Will socialism decide what each individual thinks is funny?)
Heehee…that was a good one. The diet coke bit cracked me up.
your best vid, ever ….. ("Is it diet? It don't taste like diet….")
can't breathe…sides aching…coffee on monitor….I think I peed a little…
Well, I doubt if bleeding heart politically correct left wing liberal terrorist sympathizers/apologists would agree with General Pershing's tactics, but I happen to think it would be an absolutely appropriate solution for defeating those murderous/insane Islamofacist vermin whose purpose in life is to slaughter us "infidels".
I have nothing WHATSOEVER against "moderate" "peace loving, live and let live" Muslims (why should I…?!), but neither do I have even the slightest compunction about annihilating every single one of those Jihadis who are hell bent on destroying every single one of US (why should I…?!).
This is only the third video I've seen by Steve Crowder but I have to say I don't like it as much as the other two (Islam and Guns). I still think Steve's funny as hell, but I don't like the implication that IF we were actually using torture to get information from some of these guys, then it *would* be bad. Here Steve's point is only that what we are doing to them isn't torture. Steve, are you anti-torture, no matter who/what/when/where? What would Jack Bauer say?
That was waaaay funnier than anything they have on SNL.
DFTT
[...] no one will lose their head: [...]
ggnx
ssdd
Good thing he has not commited any.
Goodbye.
Mwahaha, he knows 'Braveheart'!
I really, really need to marry you, Steven!
http://www.minnpost.com/ericblackblog/2009/03/11/...
We conservatives in San Francisco (all three of us) have our own ritual torture. If we become complacent or shaky in our beliefs, we simply watch a video of our botoxed brainless Member of Congress, Nancy Pelosi. Those medieval self-flagellants ain't got nothing on us.
Steven, thank you soooooo much for the comic relief! Although there is certainly no humor in terrorism, there apparently is great humor in lampooning the STUPID, weak, leftists who are decaying our country from within! (That felt very good to type!) Thank you Steven!
Wait a minute, one acronym and you're already out of ammo? What kind of lousy troll are you?
Super funny! Laugh out loud, witty, bravo. Bravo!
i would say just your everyday run of the mill lousy troll. i'm trolling this third rate neo secessionist 'hollywood' blog for now, but some day…redstate.
Actually, looking at your posting history, you appear to be obsessed with Crowder — he's the only one whose posts you comment on. Crush gone wrong, perhaps?
No, Andrew. It's the bacon lover's cry: Crave the pigs, crave the pigs.
Very true. I laughed out loud several times during the 3-minute video. Can't say I have done that with an SNL skit in quite some time.
As for "what is torture?":
If frat boys can do it to a pledge, it ain't torture.
I guess this means that all college students are "tortured" because I am so sleep deprived at this point in the semester I can barely make coherent sentences!
I read one of the "tortures" was that the terrorists didn't get 3 square meals a day…I wish people would care about our homeless and needy as much as they do these terrorists.
Your vids keep getting better and better!
So when do you start taking requests???
I wanna see you take on Democrat envirowhackos before they pass Cap and Trade and permanently lock up all our oil and gas resources (as they just tried to do).
Will this happen before or after Obama is thrown out of office for not being a naturalized citizen?
That's the first thing I thought when I heard about the Gitmo techniques. My scholarship house was unairconditioned and the three girls living above me played loud music all the time. I was tortured and paid for the privilege!
"Death to America."
That was one of my favorite parts!
Be cautious when using this story as a lesson to liberals. If they are historically savvy, they will use it against you. There is no military or historical record of this incident actually happening. So they will use that to say you're making things up. Then they will cite Islamic law that appears to disprove the theory behind the story by telling you that this is not genuine Islamic theology. Don't let them back you into a "gotcha" moment. The real story is that it was most likely a very good propaganda maneuver.
General Pershing would not actually have done such a thing, but it would certainly scare the crap out of the local terrorists to make them think he did. And although it is true that Islamic theology is clear that denial of entry into paradise would not await Muslims executed that way, try telling that to ignorant jihadi peasants coming straight out of the jungle or their caves. It doesn't matter that Islamic theology doesn't say it, it only matters that the jihadis believe it. Remember that ignorant jihadis (and a few delusional liberals) actually believe that Christians and Jews slaughter Muslim babies and feast on them.
Awesome Story….always good to find out about how history handled terrorists !!!!
Most high school freshman undergo more torture than the Gitmo prisoners. They don't eat as well either.
http://the100mostannoyingthings.blogspot.com/
If you masochists thought that beheading someone was going to prevent a terrorist attack you would not hesitate. Go back to wacking off to "24" and spare us the 5th grade vernacular.
"Sissies"? Grow up.
Figured out what part I thought was so funny. The William Wallace moment. Pink Bellys, dang. Classic.
From your lips to God's ears!
I always regarded Sadr as the Iraqi version of Michael Moore- only much deadlier, and a tad less repulsive looking…
I love how you make completely baseless accusations, but refuse to deal with the actual issue being satirized in the video. Not a word about the actual terrorists, who (you would think) would be the target of your anger. Instead, it's Steven for speaking out against them and us for supporting him.
That truly is amazing, and tells me all I need to know about you.
"Be cautious when using this story as a lesson to liberals."
My days of trying to reason with liberals are over and done with- been there, done that.
In fact, I poured my heart out with meaningful intelligent discourse for several weeks on a well-known authors' website to which I belonged (I won't mention the name because I don't want to give them any publicity), and ultimately got EXPELLED from the site for my anti-liberal views!
Such creatures are beneath contempt, and I won't waste another minute of my life trying to convince them of ANYTHING.
That also goes for certain members of my own family (Ph.D's and college professors all), who regard me as a "black sheep" for my hard-core conservative views (especially towards radical Muslims/terrorists).
Even if it IS total fiction. Sounds like a good idea to me.
Absolutely brilliant ! As funny as the Botero paintings. Where do I make a claim for the torture in the frat house ? Apparently it was worse than Abu Ghraib. Love the unibrow.
Fantastic! I love your videos. You have a real gift for illustrating your points.
here's one for him/her/it………esad
I'm just amazed and awed that a kid your age, Steven, gets it.
Can I adopt you?
Thanks, man.
What, his screen name isn't enough?
Thank you Mr. Crowder. I am a 56 year old grandfather of 19, and you give me hope. I love what you do and how you do it. You my friend are very funny. Keep it up. From Pastor Sean.
Absolutely hilarious!
Keep 'em coming, Steven!
Yes, you are tehstupid. Masochists enjoy being beaten. Sadists enjoy beating someone. Now make sure you ask your mom before you post again. She can help you with the big words.
some old-fashioned american torture never hurt anyone. i should know, i'm from texas where torture is part of our every day existence. for instance: the temperatures get really hot. no. come on. i mean really REALLY hot. like saddam's hidey-hole filled with beards hot. and then there's the humidity that makes you sweat just thinking about going from the garage to an air-conditioned car. not to mention venomous rattlers that spawned the snake-boot industry, the dry barren land that dares you to live on it, trees the size of shrubs that seem funny until the sun is baking you from the inside out at three burka o'clock and there is no shade, the stock-tanks that serve double duty as swimming pools, but worst of all mark cuban.
send those bastards here and let's see how long it is before they are clamoring for gitmo.
That's interesting. I checked this out and you're right. "Rev" only trolls against Crowder! I wonder how many of our other trolls specialize?
Perhaps after they clear out Gitmo they will adopt a "no prisoners" policy. Obviously there's no point capturing them only to imprison them and consign them to years of free cable and converting our prison population to Islam. But then again perhaps that idea would have merit in the eyes of a liberal. I'm sure that's just what they want is to see Islam spread across our country if only to root out those evil Christians. The ends justify the means right?
"I´m guessin you can´t just flush a bible and call it a day?"
Awesomely brilliant. Deadly timing, too.
Actually, I would up the ante and add an OU hat and Steelers sweatpants just for fun!
True, the Pershing story while entertaining is probably not true.
However some of our boys in the sandbox understand the spirit of the story.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1-iN_nqwLs
Apparently, this is what Jack Bauer would say:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmgF1-f2bTI
Gary The Moron,
My screen name, my fine feathered friend, is a reference to conservative adulation and exaltation of stupidity. Thus I name myself Teh Stupid to garner the utmost respect and attention from people who abhor intellectualism and worship Teh Stupid as the pinnacle of American authenticity and patriotism.
The whole "ignoring the terrorists" schtick is not working. That's changing the subject from your own sick, demented and sociopathic masturbating to people being dehumanized, tortured, and left to die in pools of their own blood.
The notion that you are somehow above these people because you simply don't choose the methods of beheading or strapping a suicide belt to yourselves DOES NOT absolve you of your own brutality, sickness and disgusting love of violence and torture.
Peace (because I know you hate it)
As IF you don't like it
I love bacon… Hmmm.. crave the pigs…
Hey, if that's what it take for you to feel like a man, knock yourself out.
Ooooo, nice touch!
A tad bit? They could be twins.
saddam's hidey-hole filled with beards – LOL
People on this site really love bacon.
I'm glad it's not just me who sees the remarkable resemblance…; – )
"That's changing the subject from your own sick, demented and sociopathic masturbating to people being dehumanized, tortured, and left to die in pools of their own blood."
Yeah, because that's happened… when?
You're the one changing the subject. Once again, not a word about Islamist terrorism, only about made up abuse of terrorists.
Bonnie –
I was so busy reponding to the other part of his(?) ridiculous comment that I didn't even notice that! The only thing worse than these jihadist sympathizers are the illiterate jihadist sympathizers.
It would be hilarious, if it wasn't so utterly pathetic!
He has disappointed the Central Trolling Office, and thus has been assigned to Steven Crowder videos on Big Hollywood.
shut up
keep fantasizing morans
I bet most of the commenters here are better educated than this clown.
Yeah, what's all that about? Maybe they feel like they need to give a hat tip to "climate change" to balance out 24's awesome dramatization of the torture issue? Good thing they don't discuss it in the show itself!
Normally I would not waste time with people like you. But your responses are so pathetic that I can’t help but laugh.
Would you like to actually address the points that have been made? Or do you just want to keep posting and showing off the fact that you don't know anything about word usage, punctuation and spelling of simple words?
Are you not even embarrassed at the fool you’re making of yourself? Or… do you not even realize it?
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