PETA and the KKK (featuring Tom Cruise)
by Steven CrowderThis video was actually sent to the kind folks over at PETA this afternoon. Sure they’ll probably be upset, but those chumps are so malnourished that I needn’t fear any physical imposition. Heck, I’m an entire “Jonas Brother,” heavier than any of their frail representatives. Besides, I don’t own any “animal testing” laboratories for them to firebomb, so I’m golden!
Note: No Animals we’re harmed during the making of this video. Their Thetan levels were tested (it was one of Tom Cruise’s conditions) and one of the dogs ate some tainted Peanut Butter, but nothing more.
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113 Comments
You can act like Tom Cruise better than Tom Cruise can act like Tom Cruise. Simply amazing.
Funny video by the way, and some great points too. Still, PETA… fascist Islam… Scientology… can I have your stereo when they finally find you?
Funny video and some great points too. Still, PETA… fascist Islam… Scientology… can I have your stereo when they finally find you?
The meat joke and the manufactured laugh was the best part!
Off Topic: I love my blendtec blender!!! (I just had a barbie smoothie for lunch.)
On Topic: I really hope nobody snuffs you. I look forward to your videos.
Police detective: I wonder who did it.
Partner: I don't know. He had powerful enemies, Islamo fascists, PETA, Pro Abortionists, Tom Cruise. . .
Veal, shmeal !! Where's the ketchup ?
And thanks for not fellating any vegetables on the screen…………
A master race of standard poodles is my greatest fear. PETA is playing right into their hands, er, paws.
MMmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Juicy, juicy meat! Aaarrgggh.
Don't worry about the Thetan levels; the metaclorians will clean them out. Jesus! Our society has de-evolved into an episode of the Herculoids
Tonight – a leg of lamb – tomorrow, Lamb Stew – Saturday -lamb shanks – yesseriebob, I have the spirit! Very Funny!
Brilliant. I'll be eating lots of beef this week- seeing as how I raise it!
I've been putting off getting my hunting license. I have a few friends who have been wanting to take me along. Maybe I should just go ahead and do that already. What the heck.
Great vid, Mr. Crowder. As always. Thanks.
Yes, Steven, those things DO blend. Hope it tasted good.
Steve,
You've got a set of 'Stones' my friend, I'll give you that. Last week, 'The Qur'an Challenge'…today PETA/KKK/TC all in one wonderful meat filled extravaganza.
How's about you and me grabbing a nice pot roast dinner @ one of my favorite joints on the planet? My treat.
http://www.pantrycafe.com/faq.html
Great video and I posted it on my Facebook. One problem, with it being Ash Wednesday yesterday, it’s the beginning of Lent. I’ll eat meat after Easter.
Since I already eat meat in three meals a day, I will hereby be adding a fourth meal to my day to increase my meat consumption. mmmmmmm venison brunch here we come!!
Simply awesome. I saw a study not too long ago that showed that vegetarians (and vegans even more so) suffered brain shrinkage at a much greater rate with age than people who ate meat. That makes sense. The combined effects of a shrunken brain (and probably lots of pot smoking) would explain PETAs laughably irrational take on everything.
Why don't we lock PETA people in a room with global-warming wackos obsessed about cow flatulence and diminishing our national livestock? Then let the two crazies keep each other busy for awhile. "Save the cows" "Kill the cows" "Save the cows" "Kill the cows"
Pad the room in white leather and serve them non-vegan bread with raw goat's milk.
Anyone in the mood for all-you-can-eat BBQ?
By the way, fantastic Tom impression.
Wait just a cotton-picking minute! Your disclaimer states that no animals were harmed in the making of this video. What about the poor chicken (Breast), the poor cow (Pastrami), the poor cow (Corned Beef), the poor cow (double burger) and the poor cow (Milk) (BTW, massaging cow breasts for your own needs is just SICK!)? I hope that you can both enjoy that sicking mix of death and be able to sleep at night after causing the horror that those poor animals endured at your pleasure!
Medbob
President, PETA
(People for the Eating of Tasty Animals)
Hi I'm Bev and I am an unrepentant carnivore!
I gave up on PETA years ago when I saw one of their celebrity spokespeeps on some public access talk show wearing leather pants (I can't remember who). When asked why she was wearing pants she actually said cows were different. No one questioned her.
Makes me want to listen to "Eat Steak" by The Reverend Horton Heat.
A meal without meat is just a snack, and not worth my time.
They're different alright… and tasty.
Steven,
You do make a great point that I think should be addressed. Many times, there is a good cause behind what these groups are doing and they are absolutely ruining it with their political BS.
That's how I feel about the environment, for example. I'm all for having a clean environment, rational policy that requires polluters to internalize the costs of their pollution, and efforts (market based) to prevent the extinction of things like endangered species or fish populations. Unfortunately, we can't get those things solved because these PETA idiots come along and turn everyone off. Basically, the issue we should be discussing gets lost in the buffoonery and anti-American politics.
Take the dog show thing. PETA can go f… themselves as far as I'm concerned. But I do have some concerns when I hear that pure bred spanials (allegedly) are being bred in such a small gene pool that many are (allegedly) being born with skulls that are too small for their brains. That troubles me, but you can't even begin to address these things because PETA, code Pink, ELF, etc. make it impossible to address these kinds of issues.
YAY!! MEAT WEEK!!! Makes a heck of a lot more sense than "insert random ethnicity" history month.
MEAT IS MURDER
(tasty, tasty murder)
You know what that video was missing?
Bacon.
I just watched it…weird.
It's funny because it's true, and thst's the best kind of funny!
It's funny because it's true, and that's the best kind of funny!
"could use some veal." Yer killin me, mon. And nice Cruise-play. I think you covered five of his movies at least. But spot-on about PETA. They rank right up there with Code Pink on the obnoxious scale.
Can you eat those cute little baby Harp Seals? Or would the meat be too gamey?
As my old pal Vic Mature once said, "If the good Lord wanted us to be vegetarians, He wouldn't have made cows out of meat." Keep up the work, son! I like your spunk!
When PETA starts protesting animals eating animals then I'll take them seriously. And by seriously I mean I will start hunting them, wearing their tatooed skin for warmth, and mounting their heads on my wall.
It's Ash Wednesday week which means I lose two days of "meat escapades," though I am going to Outback tonight.
5'6"? 5'6"?? standing on a box. I hear he passed on the hobbit role Elija Woods took, and did so very well with to avoid "type casting".
Eat a Tasty Animal for PETA day is March 15. This has been going on for a few years now and I keep remembering it after it's over. Not this year!
It would be cool if this could coincide with Meat Week. It would be double cool if a note could be updated to the article about this very important day. Steven? Mr. Crowder?
I'm surprised that no one mentioned it yet, so maybe this can bring a wider awareness of this best of all days to eat meat.
That's MARCH 15 — Join together with other carnivorous and omnivorous humans to eat a tasty animal for PETA. I plan to go for the exotic sorts… the elk, buffalo and ostrich they've got at my local market. And normally I'd say no fish… but in honor of this particular year, might just got for some Sea Kittens with the tasty medium-rare cow.
I'm pretty sure you can have Sea Kittens over Lent.
Although, eating something for the purpose of tweaking someone, even an entity as deserving as PETA, probably misses the spirit of Lent, even if it adheres to the letter.
Many "standard" poodles DO score higher on "standardized" IQ tests than the average "standard" liberal.
Seriously…
PETA does want to kill the cows. Same with all the enslaved pet species of animal. Neither cows nor domestic canines, or cats, would exist if they were not kept by humans for reasons that PETA wants to put an end to.
They are actually pushing genocide.
I have a fairly prominent muscian friend in Austin who follows all the doctrinaire liberal orthodoxy including the vegetarian nonsense. You know the type, "I'm doing my part to change the world, blah, blah, blah"; anyway I was in his part of town one day a few years back, so I drop in. His wife answers the door, ushers me into where he's is sitting there STUFFING HIS FACE WITH TACO BELL! INCLUDIND MEAT INFESTED BURRITOS! He had this sheepish look on his face, it was PRICELESS! I had the good grace not to bust out laughing, a smile and a nod sufficed. I'm sure most of these PETA hypocrites keep a secret meat "stash" somewhere.
Haven't heard Mr. Victor Mature's name in a while, thanks for the words of wisdom from him.
Don't even get me started on behavior and grooming techniques.
Mmmm…bacon does go on EVERYTHING!
Master race standards have very strict behavior and grooming. Their four little jackboots must be perfectly polished, their little Hitler staches perfectly coifed, Nazi dog party collar perfectly straight. Acht tung.
You and Mr. Rachel should absolutely collaborate on a video…
Well done.
Remember the song Junk Food Junkie in the 1970s? "With a big mac on my breath…."
STEVE! This stuff (your vids) are AWESOME!!! I laughed more at you than I have in the past 5 years of SNL. Thx for your service. And, bless you for your courage.
… I pull out some Certified Angus Beef,
A steak sandwich and a grilled ribeye.
I sit back in glorious expectation
Of a genuine red meat high.
i ate some yummy beef brisket with horseradish and au jus as i watched your yummy video. mm-mm good!!
You are making me really hungry, which is bad as it's almost 11:00 pm where I'm at…
Awesome video as always, Mr. Crowder
That does make me hungry…
The Thetan levels may be off the charts, but how were their Engrams? How to play Tom Cruise: focus your stare, act (or be overly caffeinated), don't let the extras look you in the eye (not much of a problem when you're 5'6") and speak, convincingly, of jibberish… Mr Crowder is the Tom Cruise of the Bizzaro world, God bless his heart…
Just a hoot, very funny. PETA stands for People Eating Tasty Animals. Foolishness aside, PETA is all about money when you get down to it.
Crowder you rock! Saturday night is big thick filet mignon night. And a trip to Disneyland with a stop at Harris Ranch on the way makes the trip extrordinary. Go meat!
[...] This comes from Big Hollywood [...]
Aha! I was waiting for an excuse to link the bacon explosion
You know, someone upthread brought up the point about SNL not being funny. It's sadly true. It's not just their message, it is the whole dang show. I tried to watch about 10 clips on HULU recently, trying to be fair, but nothing made me laugh. I was even looking forward to Akroyd being on SNL and mocking the Repubs, but the clip was useless. I know I don't mind laughing at the Repubs, just make it funny. Seriously lost opportunity. Ironically, when the show was new, no money going into it, rating weren't great, it was funny. Now it is well-funded, and gets plenty of big stars on, not funny. Crowder and Zo make me laugh ten times more, in just a few minutes. I will be enjoying some nice porksicles(ribs) in memory of past SNL players who brought the funny. And because they taste awesome! The ribs, not the SNL players. I don't eat liberals, too stringy/.
Everyone, make sure to eat your fair share of sea kitten as well.
Even Colbert made fun of their Sea Kitten campaign, and it's hilarious
<a href=”http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-v…” target=”_blank”>http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-v…
It's about 1:30 into the video.
Here's another joke: What's the difference between a PETA activist freeing a bull and a bull fighter? Everything. The bull will try to kill both equally, but the bull fighter won't whine about it.
Well said Andrew (and Steven as well!).
There are many times when I think PETA or the Greens are on the right-side of an issue. Unfortunately, they always take it way too far.
"Pollution is bad…so let's all stop using electricity!"
5'6"? 5'6"?? standing on a box. I hear he passed on the hobbit role Elija Woods took, and did so very well with, so Cruise could avoid "type casting".
Club a baby snow seal, skin, cook over a medium flame of campfire origin, season to taste, ENJOY! Just KIDDING!!! Love the fluffy seals…I guess…gamey..hee hee…tastes like chicken….
Police detective into radio: "who is the most unhinged of these four? Has to be Cruise; put out an A.P.B. on a Tom Cruise, ya the crazy midget, let's ROLL!"
I love meat…meat love me…I eat meat ever day
Steven Crowder gets it right………………and he is funny.
If you really want to send the PETA'ers up the wall, make sure they learn how Basque sheepherders in the Pyrenees castrate newborn lambs. (Hint – no knives used and the camp cooks prepare the parts for meals – they're delicious, by the way.) Better yet, make sure they attend a "lambing" at a major sheep ranch in the late winter. Their heads will explode and they will flee with sensory overload and with their hair on fire. With any luck, they'll overdose on adrenalin and we'll be free from them forever. They had best beware, however. Those shepherds are tough mothers who are always armed to kill off predators. Their dogs don't like activists either.
PS: The sheep are sheared at lambing time as well. The sheep don't seem to like it for obvious reasons once you witness it. Speed trumps concern for the sheeps' feelings and tender skin and if they could manage it, the sheep would apply bits of tissue paper to the cuts a la shaving accident repairs afterwards. Naturally, the shepherds and shearing experts try to avoid such accidents, but the sheep generally don't cooperate and hold still during the process. Now that I've said that, I'm sure a PETA type reading in here will immediately rip off any woolen clothing – snort!
As a vegetarian all I can say is………I love this guy. I eat meat once in a great while, no ethical problems with eating animals…just lost the taste for it. In 2005 I fasted for Eastern Orthodox lent and when it was over I found that I just lost the taste for meat. If I am invited over for dinner and they have steak, my wife and I will eat what is set in front of us, I will take the rest home and feed it too our dogs. (I am a really bad person in PETA' eyes, I OWN some dogs)
All that being said I find PETA as just another Marxist front group who's ethics are all screwed up. Save a chicken but slaughter an unborn child.
If God didn't want us to eat cows, he wouldn't have made them out of meat.
On tuesday I had a "Turdunken Melt", it's duck confit(don't know what that is except really tasty) wrapped in turkey breast over a chicken fillet and smothered in andouille sausage gravy. That's right; meat inside of meat, on top of meat and covered in meat sauce! Booyah!
Crowder I am a fan. If you were a novelist, you'd go on my hardcover list. Er, that means I'd buy you in hardcover. No, wait, that doesn't sound exactly right…. Anyway, you rock!
Then you obviously never met the classic "vegeterian" who only eats fish and chicken.
I frequently go to restaurants and order their most expensive meat stuffed with their next most expensive meat….
I read about that recently… incredible. So they want to string new power lines that will provide more electricity from "green" sources, but the "environmentalists" oppose this because its not the "greenest" source they can imagine? WTF?
That's like saying, we can't save all the puppies, so don't you dare try to save even one. I say again, WTF?
I know, laughably hypocritical.
A couple of years ago, they even broke themselves into two groups — those who eat non-cute animal meat (vegetarians) and those who don't even drink milk (vegans). Both groups are sanctimonious, but the vegans generally don't have the energy (or bone strength) to get in your face about it.
I beg to differ. I think you will find that your dogs own you. At least, that's always been my experience.
You sir, are a great American.
Don't forget….all of that wrapped in smoky, peppered Bacon….Mmmmmm….bacon…….
No good sir, I greatly beg to differ. Cats own you. To a dog you are family, to a cat you are staff.
Thank you, someday I hope to be 2 of them….
I'd eat my own foot if it were wrapped in bacon….
For every animal PETA doesn't eat, I'm going to eat three….
Only if it's low-sodium or turkey bacon….
ROFL That is toooooo funny! The veal line at the end was classic. (I love veal!) Crowder next time put some live animals in the blender. Then we can all hear the heads of PETA members popping all over the country!
Brilliant! I stand corrected.
That Tom Cruise was up there with Jerry O'Connell's.
You can't make a hamburger without executing a few peta membe–I mean–cows.
Right on cue, I find these stories this morning:
American taste for soft toilet roll 'worse than driving Hummers':
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2009/feb/26...
Reusable toilet wipes:
http://blogs.news.com.au/heraldsun/andrewbolt/ind...
too funny. you win.
I miss The Two Fat Ladies. That show was baconriffic.
Never heard of The Two Fat Ladies, but if it's baconriffic, it's for me!!
i love me some double meat (DOUBLE MEAT!) cheeseburgers from sonic. i eat 'em like i mock libs (all the damn time)…
Soylent Green…the other, other white meat…
NSIDC: satellite sea ice sensor has catastrophic failure – data faulty for the last 45 or more days. Read this article ….. http://wattsupwiththat.com/2009/02/18/nsidc-satel... …… Seems like a hunk of sea ice the size of California was missed by the satellites monitoring the area. Maybe, Barry Obama and Al Gore can fix that problem.
Is it still considered cannibalism if it's wrapped in bacon?
Mr. Mature gave one of the best responses I've ever heard to a silly question. When asked how it felt to be playing Samson's father in the remake of his trademark movie, Mature replied, "Hell, if the money's right, I'd play Samson's mother." Truly a professional.
That's great! Spoken like a great guy and a great capitalist/professional! God bless him. We have lost. or are losing a great generation of Americans and movie professionals. If Sean Penn piped up near Red Buttons or Eddie Arnold, being gentlemen, they would probably consider the source, but if need be, they'd pop him in the mouth. Arnorld won a Navy Cross, if I'm not mistaken, for bravery at Tarawa. Penn kisses communists. Give me Arnold, hold the Penn. (p.s. I'm a youngish middle age movie fan, not the more seasoned variety!) Thank you for sharing that insight Cuneo, we appreciate it.
Your stuff is extremely enjoyable…I love the costumes(especially the tatoo arms) and now the Tom Cruise impersonation, that was over the top…I can hardly wait for the next installment
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