Getting Louder With Steven Crowder: Whiny Americans and Crazy Russians.
by Steven CrowderI’ve been housesitting for a real estate agent in Simi Valley for the past couple of weeks, which is (as many of you know) home to… The late, great, Ronald Reagan. The man was most certainly (as the youngin’s say) a “badass.”
Let’s face it. It takes a fuzzy pair to stare down a chap like Gorbachev.
Have you ever tried to stare down a Russian? It’s virtually impossible. They have cold, lifeless eyes. Eyes that pierce straight through you… They have the devil’s eyes.
Proof: Take a stroll down the shadiest parts of your city, observe the tough “gangsta’s,” and you’ll quickly notice that they avoid Russians (particularly the fresh off the boat variety) like the proverbial plague. While over the years the American thug culture has bred an intense, angry scowl, the Russian stare says, “I don’t need to try and look tough…. I am simply going to kill you.”
Why do “American Gangsta’s” fear them? It’s quite simple.
While many people in America continually complain about how “tough” life is, or how ”hard they’ve had it,” they are all too often fully aware that their circumstances pale in comparison to those of citizens abroad. The same thugs who claim to have been “raised on the streets,” know deep down that the crazy Russian gentleman next to him probably had to fight a bear for his food or kill his neighbor for toilet paper.
We Americans can just be so damn whiny! We complain about how terrible things are – the current economic trials we’re facing, the country’s state of crisis and imminent demise – while foreigners come here, having faced much MORE adversity, and flourish (with a smile on their face).
I feel like a terrible pansy.
It wasn’t too long ago that I was scurrying across the tundra-desert wasteland that is Quebec, searching for scraps of food and government-provided painkillers.
Oh, how quickly I’ve become spoiled. What Americans call “crisis” immigrants call “a great life.”
Please don’t misinterpret what I’m saying as some sort of “feel good” message proclaiming the joys of contentment with mediocrity. What I’m saying is that there is a very large pie out there. Go out and get a piece. Black, white, brown or yellow (Jaundice-sufferers, I’m talking to you), go out and get a piece. Or better yet, go out and bake more pies.
And if we want to get into the whole “who’s more oppressed?” or “who’s had it tougher?” contest, I would formally like to submit my nomination for the Russians. Let me explain why.
It is said that throughout history, the more oppressed people of the times dominate combat sports. For years it was the Irish, then it was the African Americans… And finally, now it’s the Russians (or as they prefer, “Ruskies”).
That’s just science, people.
How is this relevant to politics, you ask? It’s not. I just like to talk about how tough the crazy Russians are. Not only is it true, but by default, it makes The Gipper look even more awesome. God, I miss him.
Note: My video column will resume next week.
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39 Comments
Agent J – “Gorby always looked a little like a deer in Ronnie’s headlights who wasn’t sure which direction would get him off the road fastest.” Wow. Great description! I recall that too, but would never have found those words to describe it.
Steven – I like the cut of your jib and look forward to reading more of this: “How is this relevant to politics, you ask? It’s not. I just like to talk about how tough the crazy Russians are. Not only is it true, but by default, it makes The Gipper look even more awesome. God, I miss him.”
Sometimes it’s nice to just hear or read an opinion outright without too much information attached. We so need a Ronald Reagan in our lives again. Can you think of anyone these days who might even come close to filling his shoes? Palin? Jindal?
What a mindless post by an absolute idiot.
Have you ever been there, Stevie? No, they don’t prefer “Ruskies,” BTW.
You are right; Russians are tough. But they don’t have “cold, lifeless eyes.” Those belong to reactionary Republicans.
Ridiculous post by a mouth-breathing putz.
Fedor could be from Berkeley, he would still beat you into a cold, submissive, post-breathing state.
I read that the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin made was not dismantling the KGB – now the Russian govt is run by ex-KGB people.
Putin is scarier than Gorby – OTOH his entire country is propped up by oil prices and they are hurting these days.
I went to Russia 4-5 years ago – took a trip on the Volga waterway that links Moscow and St Petersburg. It was an eye opener in many ways. It is a series of locks (9 I think) started by Peter the Great but finished by Stalin in the 1930s – 160,000 political prisoners died finishing it. It was said that for many years their bones would wash up on the shore.
I found Russia to be fascinating – from the Moscow circus and subway to the restoired palaces outside St Petersburg. If you think the communists wanted to part of their past you are wrong in regard to these palaces.
The Nazis occupied them during the siege of Leningrad (900,000 starved to death in 3 years) and when they left, burned them. They were just burned out hulks – and in the early 50s, the communists started these schools to teach workman how the craftsmen did things in the 1700s – today you would have no idea these palaces were burned out hulks.
My stereotype of the Russian woman was also broken there – I remember pictures in the National Geographic of 300 lb Russian women on vacation at the Black Sea in bikinis with a steel capped tooth.
Most of the Russian women I saw there were anything but that picture…
I remember at the time the sense of failure when Reagan came back from Iceland without an agreement. But I think also he and Gorby had a trust for each other.
Nice post, Bill. Having lived and worked there, I have similar memories.
Oh, and Madelyn? Pull your head out of your a$$.
Ask the NYPD about scary Ruskies. In Brooklyn the immigrant Russians took over a neighborhood and named it “Little Odessa.” The Russians are not only larcenous, they are also extremely smart, and extremely ruthless. Combinations that can easily induce fear in the general population.
Actually if anyone here REALLY knew any Russians they would agree whole heartedly with the author of this blog. Russians are some of THE coldest people you will ever meet in your life. Gorbechev was a wimp compared to putin. Putin is scary in that he is very secretive, no one ever knows what he has on his mind. He’s a little man in the same league as chavez and ahmadinejad, they all want to be big men but don’t know how.
BTW, ever been to a REAL Russian barber? Straight Razors all the way.
Tank: I lived there. I worked there. The average Russian is no more like Putin as you are like Reagan. You don’t know what the hell you are talking about.
The everyday Russians that I worked and lived with were wonderful. Warm-hearted, funny, generous—just great. They ARE tough, but I come from pretty hardy stock, too, so that worked out just fine.
They are as cynical of their government as citizens of the rest of the world are about their own.
An awesome people, beautiful women, and a bowl of borscht will do you good!
Good post. I couldn’t agree more.
Awhile back, I did a little research on the American “poverty” line. I discovered that people living at the American “poverty” line would still be in the top 10% of the world’s wealthiest people.
Growltiger – the one problem the Russians have is their birth rate – it is falling precipitously.
Tank: The bad people in any population seem to be the ones remembered in the rest of the world. How many in the rest of the world think of us as gangsters?
Read the book by Hedrick Smith called The Russians. He was a NYT reporter stationed in Moscow who wrote the book during the communist days but his observations still apply. Read some of Alexandr Solzhenitsyn’s works – particularly his times in the Gulags.
The Russians have been though some horrible times in the last 100 years. Few people in the west realize it but they took 2/3rds of the German Wehrmacht ground forces – lost 20 million dead – in addition to what Stalin did to them. If the Nazis weren’t – well – Nazis – and treated the Russians and Ukrainians as liberators instead of “untermenschen” – subhumans – the world would be very different today…
I don’t think they can be so easily categorized.
OK guys. Stereotype much? This article and the following comments are indicative of the politics in the good ol’ US of A. There are a lot of good Russian people who are not the steely eyed, ex-KGB lineage types, just as there are a lot of people from San Diego to Kennebunkport and Seattle to Miami, who don’t fall into the wing nut description, right or left.
Hey Johnnyrussia..You must have been living on the wimpy side of russia because all of the Russians that I have ever known would rip off your head and spit down your neck just for looking at them wrong. YOU don’t know what YOU’RE talking about. Wimp
I dated a Russian back in the 1990s. I used to get chills listening to him talk on the phone to someone who owed him money.
Steve,
A couple of points.
While you can’t go wrong overestimating American whininess compared to that of the rest of the world, we didn’t invent it.
In fact, it’s noteworthy that most of the whiny “I’m entitled to more” liberalism that we gleefully mock had its genesis in a cold country that used to celebrate their Revolution to institute the ultimate catering plan for All Human Whininess.
I think proof of who was ultimately more whiny and soft is seen in the fact that the aforementioned nation no longer exists, its catering plan was an epic failure, and no serious sentiment exists for instituting the system anywhere except the Democrat fringe, Western academia, and the entertainment industry (but I repeat myself), unless guns and gulags are involved in the decision-making process (but I repeat myslef). Bad as Hollywood thought (and I use the term loosely) is, at least no one held a gun to anyone’s head before they parrot it. Yet.
Oh, and President Reagan NEVER lived in Simi Valley. You could look it up. His library is there, his Air Force One plane is there, and his final resting place is there. All three of which are well worth a ticket and a long, leisurely day to visit and reflect on an extraordinary American life. But he’s not a resident of Simi Valley, and never was.
Putin is a crude,clever gangster, KGB to the core and ruthless..what kind of behavior can you expect from a Godless socitey with the mentality of barbarians? I’ve experienced it’s many dimensions in everyway way having lived in and near Moscow for the last 17 years.
Steve, you really can’t put people in little boxes and state “that’s the way they are”. I’ve lived and travelled in Europe, and have been treated very well, and have been treated like the slaves were on southern plantations. It depends solely on whether people find it easier to believe stereotypes, being too lazy to research for themselves different cultures, or keeping an open mind about cultures and people that differ from their own. I was born in a “blue state”, have lived in both “red” and “blue” states, and I consider myself a conservative who lives in a suburb of the 3rd biggest area of population in the U.S. Russians, indeed most Europeans, aren’t as open and friendly as Americans, because they have had a harder life, and some pretty repressive governments. We have been blessed as Americans for having the most prosperous and open society in almost all of world history.
And as an aside, Aesop is correct. President Reagan’s library is in Simi Valley. I missed the opening by 3 months, we moved out of state. He resided in Santa Barbara county on a huge ranch.
[...] Russians Don’t Need to Look Tough, They Will Simply Kill You [...]
You actually get PAID for writing articles like that? Man, I want your job! I actually have to produce something in my line of work. I live in Ukraine most of the year, and I can’t agree with you in your assumptions. I know it’s a different story in Russia, and that Ukraine lost millions at the hands of Stalin, however, the people are generally the same. What I hear from my Ukrainian buddies is that they don’t quite know what to do since 1991. We passed right over their heads after eliminating their style of government to do business with Communist China. I’m sure it hasn’t gone unnoticed. Yes, they have a certain stare about them, and they surely aren’t bashful. Once you actually open your mouth and speak to them, the men are less cold and heartless than the women. They’re great people, and contrary to the fantasies of “JB” in these postings, the exodus of Jews from Eastern Europe has probably caused them to suffer less violence. Intellectual capital is in full force, even without the Jews, JB…how about that?? Opportunities are lacking, so they can’t do much with their talents. The industrious guys hit the road and do business elsewhere. Maybe JB took his money to China… (: As far as whining goes, yes America, we are spoiled and mostly ignorant. If we don’t grow up, we will be living as poorly as the Soviets did at some point in the future. We are slowly but surely trading places with our Slavic friends. We should all have Russian pen pals to teach us a little wisdom.
The Russians are a tough lot, good Nuts and Bolts kind of people, they can be your best friend or worst enemy, just like Texans. Great Artists, and as Ruthless as they come. As for Putin, well he shoots and hunts with the same kind of rifle I do. It's made in Austria. I had it for 32 years now. I would go hunting with him anytime.
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