The Oscars are Important
by Rodney Lee Conover
While watching the Academy Awards last night, I got to thinking about what an important role the Oscars play in our global community. And of course, there’s no more blatant case in point of Hollywood’s positive impact on society than Al Gore’s 2007 Oscar win for his documentary, “An Inconvenient Truth.” What a speech too, huh? Just listen: “My fellow Americans, people all over the world, we need to solve the climate crisis. It’s not a political issue; it’s a moral issue…”
And solve it he did! Just look at what’s happened since that magical evening:
- All the major global temperature tracking outlets (Hadley, NASA GISS, UAH, RSS) recent data shows that over the past year global temperatures have dropped.
- The University of Illinois Arctic Climate Research Center reports that global sea ice levels are now equal to those of 1979. Polar Bears are back baby!
- The US National Climatic Data Center says China had its coldest winter in 100 years and the fact that Hillary went there was pure coincidence.
- This year, much of North America was hit by the heaviest snowfall since the 1960s. It snowed in Baghdad (of course, the American Military presence kind of explains that), but it snowed in Las Vegas! What are the odds?
- Lastly, well-intentioned, decent people traveling to Global Warming summits are having their flights canceled in droves, due to icy build up on the wings of private jets.
People, what I’m saying here is – in a nutshell: Al Gore must be stopped.
Now, I’m no Al Gore fan, (In 2000, he got the most votes and still lost – talk about a loser), but let’s give him his due. The reality is that his efforts to stop global warming have not only been an incredible success, but in fact, have been TOO good. Great job, dude, but it’s been really, really cold lately. I mean did you or did you not see the strip-club scenes in “The Wrestler?” … ‘nuff said.
But how could Al Gore know he could accomplish the impossible so quick and effectively? Even he must have been a bit shocked when nearly the entire major media fell in line and began parroting his sage-like theory – I mean, hypothesis – I mean, scenario – I mean, presumptions – I mean, ruse – I mean, um facts… Yes, incontrovertible facts. And indeed, Mr. Gore the debate was over, until you and your brave followers over-corrected the fever of the planet and sent us plunging toward frosty Armageddon.
The telltale signs are everywhere – from the unexpected persistence and thickness of pack ice in the waters around Iceland to the southward migration of a warmth-loving creature like the armadillo from the Midwest… (actually I swiped that from a June 24th, 1974 Time Magazine article, sorry).
Sadly, now we must stop you, Al Gore the Good. We must rise up against the forces of accepted wisdom and put an end to your selfless caring before we all freeze our asses off. Because if we don’t act now and decisively, no amount of Leonardo DiCaprio movies, Sheryl Crow rallies, Springsteen concerts, or Barbara Streisand blogs can save us from the impending girth of ice we’ll soon find ourselves covered by.
Now, you’ll notice I left Scarlett Johansson off the list there. That was on purpose. Scarlett: You can say anything you want, doesn’t matter. Just be out there. For me. That goes double for you Jennifer Aniston; you can say or do anything your saddened, but virtuous heart desires. Hey, screw those guys who dumped you, anyway — they’re idiots! Bunch of lame douche bags, if you ask me. You need to date a normal guy, Jen. Did I mention I love dogs?
… Mmm. Where was I?
Oh yeah, thanks to the power of Al Gore, we’re all gonna die from anthropogenic global cooling. So – everyone – start having babies. Breathe out more. Farmers – feed your cows more bean burritos. More drilling! More mining! More smelting! And for god sakes GM – do NOT cancel production of the Hummer. What are you, an anti-earth, terrorist organization or something?
I don’t know. Maybe President Obama can stop him… Like Angelina Jolie’s last line in The Changeling: “Now, there’s hope…”
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
| 
Follow Us on Twitter
Subscribe via RSS
Tips & Feedback
37 Comments
release a manbearpig near his home, enjoy the ensuing hijinks, video tape it all and put yakity sax in the background and post it on youtube
He is "so cereal!"
The US National Climatic Data Center says China had its coldest winter in 100 years and the fact that Hillary went there was pure coincidence.
Wow….that's a quality shot. Now that we know Socks is gone it begs the question…..did she catch him conspiring with Aslan?
J. Aniston? My word Rodney, raise your standards man.
Sean Penn explained Al Gore's win best during last night's acceptance speech: "You Commie, homo-loving sons of guns."
I gave up on this guy YEARS ago – back when he couldn't keep Tipper on a lease.
I will never forget when I saw Tipper with a couple of other pearl wearing elites on the Oprah Show….
They were talking about the Parental Censorship issue that she of course was spearheading and eventually was handed her booty by Dee Snider and John Denver in front of Comittee.
Anyway – back to Oprah – they also had Jello Beofra (sp) from the Dead Kennedy's on stage with them – LOL!
Here is this guy who ran for Mayor of San Fransico wearing a grey suit with black socks with little yellow skulls on them……HILARIOUS! He owned them.
By the way – with all of this MILK talk because he did some stuff in SF – is there a movie coming out about JELLO? I think he did as good as MILK. JELLO came in 5th…..not bad.
Earth in the Balance, Gore is Unbalanced
Gore is a PPP – perfect, privileged, prick – born with his face in a Senate seat and a silver spoon up his ass.
Rodney… thanks for the laughs. "The US National Climatic Data Center says China had its coldest winter in 100 years and the fact that Hillary went there was pure coincidence." Beautiful.
Some of us homo-loving sons of guns don't like being associated with Commies or Al Gore.
LOLOLOL….BTW, did you know that global warming bankrupted Iceland? You see, it has to do with fishing, and something about what is in the water, so Iceland became a nation of bankers.
Forget about it. If you have to explain the joke, either the joke is bad or the audience is dense.
I double dog dare you to tell that joke at a PETA meeting. If you live to report back, I want details!
Isn't it irnoic that the only thing can save us from one gasbag (Algore) is another — "feed your cows more bean burritos" LOL!!!
Great article Rodney, very clever, very funny.
Well, an out of work Wall Street banker decided to move to iceland. He didn't know that Iceland's economy went bankrupt because of the global economic crisis. So, when he got there, and couldn't find a job, he remembered that great conservative saying, if you give a man a fish you feed him for a day. But if you teach him to fish he can support himself for the rest of his life. So, he decided to become a fisherman but found out the reason Iceland became a nation of bankers was due to the fishing industry being destroyed by global warming. Then the former Wall Street banker remembered that Al Gore was pushing bull and that global warming was only hype, so he became a blogger on Big Hollywood, which is neither big nor about Hollywood.
See…Big Hollyood….tearing down Stereotypes Left and Right.
Hollywood’s positive impact on society than Al Gore’s 2007 Oscar win for his documentary, “An Inconvenient Truth.”
Britain does not consider this cut and paste con job to get people to buy Gore's carbon credits a "documentary":
Court Identifies Eleven Inaccuracies in Al Gore’s ‘An Inconvenient Truth’
By Noel Sheppard
Created 2007-10-09 00:55
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2007/1...
Here's something American media are virtually guaranteed to not report: a British court has determined that Al Gore's schlockumentary "An Inconvenient Truth" contains at least eleven material falsehoods.
Wow!!! Looks like Micheal Moore must have helped Gore with his blatantly ignorant film filled with gloom and doom predictions that are not coming true.
This is a good example of how far Gore has sunk to keep his eco-fundamentalist followers in the flock:
Princeton Physicist Calls Global Warming Science "Mistaken"
http://www.dailytech.com/article.aspx?newsid=1377...
Scientist fired by Al Gore was told, "science will not intrude on public policy".
Noted energy expert and Princeton physicist Dr. Will Happer has sharply criticized global warming alarmism. Happer, author of over 200 scientific papers and a past director of energy research at the Department of Energy, called fears over global warming "mistaken".
"I have spent a long research career studying physics that is closely related to the greenhouse effect", said Happer. "Fears about man-made global warming are unwarranted and are not based on good science."
SCIENCE WILL NOT INTRUDE ON PUBLIC P0LICY!!!!!!!!!
Spoken like a true con artist.
I will start believing some of this liberal drivel when the people that keep telling us the world is going to end start acting and living like the world is coming to an end.
Running around in limos,private jets,living in huge mansions spread out all over the country, making movies (one of the most wasteful and environmentally harmful activities in this country) and then telling me I have to cut back ,sacrifice,and dish out money for carbon credits is hilariously ignorant.
Baxter, I was being sarcastic. Read it again. The whole thing this time. –Rodney Lee
Biafra
It's always seemed to me that if algore and his minions were really serious about this whole fossil fuel thing, they'd encourage us to use it all up as fast as we can. It is a non-renewable resource, right? So, we should burn as much of it as possible, as quickly as possible. That way it will soon be gone, and we'll live in an enchanted land of windmills and bicycles.
Also, it's been scientifically proven that massive deforestation of the northern tier is a surefire way to stop global warming, as the resulting huge snow fields would effectively reflect incoming solar radiation much better than trees, which actually absorb some of it.
I'm just saying, there really are some positive things we could be doing.
So a Pole walks into a club.. Clang.
About the same length.
I'm just wondering, how many people watch the awards, and of those how many are dems or libs? Shouldn't this blog spend more time pointing out something that affects more Americans more, like papercuts er sumpin'? Hollywood is liberal, and every day people don't care. Get over it.
"It's always seemed to me that if algore and his minions were really serious about this whole fossil fuel thing, they'd encourage us to use it all up as fast as we can. It is a non-renewable resource, right? So, we should burn as much of it as possible, as quickly as possible. That way it will soon be gone…"
I like the way you think. Just today I was having the thought that if we killed more polar bears, they would kill fewer seals — leaving us more seals to club to death. It's win-win. Well, actually it's win-lose-lose. Whatever. It was just a thought. I didn't say it was a good thought. Which reminds me of the world's shortest joke:
So this baby seal walks into a club…
Al Gore is a liar. Here's another example. Their goal is a Utopian fantasy of one world government. Resist this madness.
http://dotearth.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/02/23/gore...
This enchanted land of windmills and Bicycles is at odds with our current leader's vision of a land of unicorns and rainbows. This will not be allowed to stand, and ACORN will issue fatwahs at an 'accessabel' interest rate against Al Gore and his minions.
Rodney Lee
Your post is pretty straight forward,I was not criticizing you, I was agreeing with you and trying to add to your post with other relevant facts. I think Gore is nothing more than a con artist doing what he can to get rich by preaching this eco-fundamentalism that the world is going to end unless we follow in the footsteps of their eccentric policies.
The University of Illinois Arctic Climate Research Center reports that global sea ice levels are now equal to those of 1979. Polar Bears are back baby!
Uhoh… too many polar bears! Time to send Gov. Palin and the choppers up to save the rest of the wildlife
Ya know, one dread I harbor about Al Gore: No matter what happens to the Earth's temperature over the next 50 years… no matter how the science plays out and conventional wisdom shifts… Al Gore will be heralded as the Environmental Savior. If the general temperatures go down, Al Gore (and his posse) will be able to say, "Boy, aren't you glad you listened to us, and reduced your carbon footprints. It's all because we were preaching the gospel to an unconvinced world." If the general temperatures go up, Al Gore (and his posse) will be able to to say, "You should have listened to us. If only you had acted back when we first started beating the drum."
*sigh*
Time to jot this down in my journal, so my daughter can know the truth.
Bless y'all.
Yep totally! – I didn't want to dig out my old tapes or even look for the CD my wife bought me a few years ago. Little side note – I first realized I was old a few months ago when I saw yu could download the Dead Kennedy's Tracks on RockBand 2 – LOL!
And yet, there are still plenty of fish to eat.
Go figure.
Send her my way anyday.
OH! I thought he was talking about Sir Edmund. I was wondering…
Am I the only one who thinks Gore looks like Hugo Chavez now?
I hadn't seen him in a while, but now it looks like there's so much more of him it'll make him harder to miss. He's taken that "carbon sequestration" thing too seriously and started storing it all in his hips.
Though honestly, he's not the worst guy in the world, he finally stopped whining about 2000 and got himself a hobby, albeit somewhat irritating. At least it doesn't involve bashing the troops or blaming 9/11 on the U.S.
Okay, I already posted this in another thread, but I realized it was a little more appropriate here.
Guggenheim, the guy who directed An Inconvenient Truth and the Obama bio that aired during the DNC–guess what his next project is. Looking at that resume, it should be fairly obvious.
Yep, that's right. The new CW remake of Melrose Place.
Seriously.
History is a funny thing. That is, if the revisionists aren't involved and it's honest. Fifty years after, either the brilliance or the damage done, has a way of clarifying. IMO, Al Gore will be included in the list headed by PT "Theres a sucker born evey minute." Barnum. The shear hypocracy dictates no other outcome.
The fishing industry was destroyed by overfishing.
I told that seal joke on my last trip to France.
So, this baby seal walks into a bistro…
Nothing, nada, zip, bupkis.
The French have NO sense of humor.
Maybe the real cause of "Global Warming" is the hot air and gasses emitted at the Oscars and other award shows.
You must be logged in to post a comment.