Dead, Divorced, Married, Pregnant, Or In Jail
by Rodney Lee ConoverI saw “Gran Torino” finally and it put me in a mood. I see where Paris Hilton says she’s only slept with “a couple of people;” but I’m guessing it’s because the rest of them told her to leave right after.
My only 2009 resolution is to lose weight, so I ordered the paperback version of “The Best Life Diet,” which is by Oprah Winfrey’s trainer Bob Greene. The bad news is the shipping weight was somewhere between 140 and 320 pounds.
Cloris Leachman says she’ll be in a racy sex scene with Jack Black on “The Office” this season. It’s supposed to be very intimate with a lot of kissing, and I’m thinking, how sweet – don’t you just love those Paleontologic/ May romances?
Speaking of sexy women, I love Jennifer Aniston. Man – O – Manischewitz, that is one hot babe. If we ever worked together, I bet she would dig me, because I love dogs too. Jennifer Aniston says she’ll always value her canines more than the men in her life, because a dog’s love is “unconditional.”
Then how come you and Vince Vaughn broke up?
And to prove to my friends I’m open minded, I read a foreign publication every now and again and I caught a report in Pravda that says the earth is entering another Ice Age. Oh, I see. They take a tiny bit of data, do a little extrapolating and want us to believe there’s man-made global cooling?
… Hey Ruskies – what do you think, we’re stupid?
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18 Comments
Does anyone really care about any of this?
And slowly, but surely, Big Hollywood turns into Free Republic. Faster than predicted! Congratulations!
Rodney Lee:
Hysterical!! A bit fluffy, true, but man cannot live on in-depth analysis of the film medium and its effect on the American psyche alone!!
Funny stuff, RL, with a Hollywood flavor. It’s germane here. Comic relief is a traditional convention … laugh on!
This is a pleasant interlude from the obama-messiah mania, with the accompied fainting, sighing, and kissing in the media now-adays.
I especially enjoy the not so oblique dig at the global-warming nuts in our media and government.
Enjoyed this! thanks!
there really are no interesting hollywood stars at this point. it’s very hard to get me to go to a movie, i would rather do almost anything else. there’s some new upmarket theatre in boca where you have dinner w/movie. I always find a way of getting out of going. the latest tom cruise thing sounded like torture, I almost went to that to try the dinner thing…
The science of Global Warming advocate is well, not really science. Makes for great crisis and posturing though.
Now, where DID I part that Prius?
Seeing Gran Torino put me in a mood, too. My mood was characterized by weeping until I was asked by the theatre staff to please leave. I much prefer Rodney’s very funny comments. I heart Rodney, I guess.
Lola – “Pretty sure that the coldest winter on record proves that Algore is full of that other by product of raising Hereford cattle.”
Weather is not climate so no, a cold winter proves nothing. Any child could have told you that. Which begs the question: “Who runs the appliances at your home?”
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