“I’m Against Guns and Violence, Unfortunately Reality Has Intruded on My Delusional Paradise.”
by Robert J. Avrech
“Thing is, he’s going to kill me.”
“Have you gone to the police?”
“Yes, of course I have.”
“And what happened?”
She shakes her head from side to side, wraps her arms protectively around her chest.
“I got a restraining order against Ned, that’s my ex-boyfriend. But you know what good that is, don’t you?”
“Tell me.”
She inscribes a big zero in the air.
Five Minutes Earlier
It’s a crowded Sunday morning in the Martin B. Retting Gun Shop in Culver City.
There’s the usual cross-section of customers:
Two elderly black women, sisters, who have been robbed countless times by drug-addicts. Ignored by the LAPD, they have no choice but to buy a gun for self-defense. The women wear colorful bonnets. Yup, they dressed up to go gun shopping.
There are a couple of hunters buying high-powered ammunition; they sound like Los Alamos scientists as they discuss the exquisite physics of various exotic slugs. It’s way beyond my comprehension.
Two Marines on leave are stocking up on rugged, combat-ready clips for their side-arms. Semper Fi.
There’s also a young Hispanic apartment manager who lives in a high-crime area. His wife just had a baby—Mazal Tov!—and he wants to protect his family from the local “desperadoes.”
I’m waiting my turn.
Protagonist
And so is a young woman who absolutely sticks out in the gun shop. She’s wearing a cream colored linen baby doll with blue grosgrain trim; on her feet, pink flip-flops that pop off alabaster skin. Her hair is the color of golden Kansas wheat. Mid-twenties, she’s an iconic all-American beauty who makes me flash to memories of a truly insane childhood crush: Tuesday Weld as Thalia Menninger on The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis.
Looking as if she’s on the edge of a meltdown, she paces, glances nervously at the display cases lined with gleaming rows of pistols and revolvers. She makes a move to exit the gun shop, then returns, as if yanked by a fishing reel.
“Excuse me, do you, do you know about guns?”
She’s even got that vulnerable, tremulous Tuesday Weld pitch to her voice.
And she is talking to yours truly.
“A bit.”
“I’m terrified of guns.”
I hold out my hands as if checking for rain.
“Sounds crazy, I know, thing is—do you think the salesmen are going to be much longer?”
“There’s tons of paperwork if you buy a gun.”
Her eyes dart about, then she just looks at me straight-on:
“Thing is, he’s going to kill me.”
Antagonist
That’s when she tells me about Ned; the evil, the obsessive, the ex-boyfriend.
Ned is a stalker, a human virus who has infected every aspect of her life.
She speaks of restraining orders:
“The thing about them is that people like Ned always find a way around them. He’s there on my computer. He’s a computer guy, for Chrissakes. He knows when I start going out with a new dude and he makes sure to tell the new one all sorts of trash about me. And d’you think the dude sticks around? No one wants that level of drama. I’ve moved twice already and he always finds me. Ned’s always there. Sometimes I wake up at night, go to my window and I’m telling you he’s watching me. Hey, I’m sorry for unloading on you. You must think I’m such a loser chick.”
“It’s fine. I feel awful for you. But it’s good you’re taking steps to protect yourself. It’s admirable. Men like Ned count on women being scared and defenseless.”
She pauses. Looks down at the display of guns.
Conflict
“I can’t believe I’m here. I’ve been against guns and violence my whole life.”
I let this pass. Now is not the time for a self-righteous lecture.
Intertitle: UTOPIA IS THE OPIATE OF LIBERALS.
“Did Ned threaten you, physically, I mean?”
“Said I belong to him and no one else. That’s about it. But I know what he means.”
“What did the police say?”
“The last cop, as he was leaving, whispered for me to get a gun.”
I tell her that owning a gun isn’t sufficient. She has to take safety classes, self-defense classes. She has to know what she’s doing. From the counter, I grab a handful of NRA brochures and press them into her hands. I make her promise that she’ll sign up as soon as she gets her gun in ten days.
“Ten days?” she says.
Nodding, I explain:
“First you have to take a test, here in the store, a written test. They’ll give you a booklet to study. Then you get a certificate making you eligible to buy a weapon in California. After you purchase the gun there’s a ten-day waiting period until you take possession.”
“But why?”
“Background check. To make sure you’re not a felon, a psychopath, an illegal immigrant, a terrorist, a drug addict. It’s the law.”
Once again, she wraps her arms around her chest, as if trying to keep her heart inside her body.
“Ned’s really smart—a psychozoid like you wouldn’t believe.”
Rising Tension
I do not ask her why she went out with Ned in the first place. The answer is obvious: psychopaths are clever at disguising their pathologies. Evil is seductive.
“You’re going to be okay. I know you are.”
She shrugs, scans a row of pistols.
“Are those good?”
“Those are .45 automatics. Probably too much gun for you. I’d recommend a simple revolver. Probably a Smith & Wesson J frame, a .38. But we’ll see what the salesman have to say, they are the experts here, okay?”
She manages a thin smile, her first since I’ve met her.
“Cool.”
“One piece of advice, even before you buy a gun, and this is important.”
“Yeah?”
“Lose the flip-flops.”
She looks down at her feet, curls her toes, lacquered a hot psychedelic pink.
“Huh?”
“You can’t run or maneuver in those things. Get in the habit of wearing a good solid pair of running shoes.”
“Oh, right, right. What was I thinking?”
I lead her to the glass case that holds the wheel guns, weapons that are simple to load, easy to handle, jam-proof. And, you better believe: lethal.
She scans the display. She seems overwhelmed.
Finally, she looks up at me and says: “What’s to stop Ned from killing me in the next ten days?”
I have no answer.
Resolution, Not So Much, For This is, Unfortunately, Reality
Hours later, I tell my wife Karen about the conversation. In the background FOX Cable News is reporting the brutal murder of a pregnant woman. The chief suspect is her ex-boyfriend, an evil piece of human garbage with a history of stalking women.
“I’m terrified I’m going to wake up one day and see that she’s been murdered. Maybe I should have done more.”
“What more could you have done?”
Shrugging, I admit I have no idea.
But Ned is out there, obsessively dreaming, watching, waiting for the right moment — to make her his own.
The Cornered Cat is an excellent resource for women who wish to learn about self-defense and firearms. Highly recommended.
Copyright © Robert J. Avrech
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340 Comments
I can identify with her. I used to be anti gun until I became a victim of violent crime. I never knew how much fear controlled my life until I got my first hand gun and found out that I was a pretty good shot. Once I became more confident in my ability, I suddenly realized that I was no longer helpless and defenseless. That was over 10 years ago. Today I teach women like this one how to defend themselves with a firearm. I walked in those flip flops once. I'll never walk in them again. You helped her more than you realize Robert.
Great column! I love parts of California, but I don't think I'd want to live there regarding their gun laws, at least. I love it here in North Dakota with my "antique" Colt Lawman .357 snubbie and Colt Commander .45. Plus, nobody here bats an eye if your coat blows open (very windy here, don'tcha know) to reveal your concealed little friend. Take care!
Wow! Another great, engrossing story. Thank you, Robert. I didn't realize there was so much to purchasing a gun (I don't own any). I've gone through firearms safety training and, along with my firearms training in the military, am pretty dangerous to paper targets everywhere.
However, I believe time is of the essense and will soon begin the process to legally own firearms.
Robert –
A very thought-provoking piece. As to the qustion of "what more you (could have done)". You live in Southern California, right? Know any Hell's Angels? They'd love to have a word with "Ned".
Use all your local resources…
I wrote and co-produced a show called "A Woman's Guide to Firearms" in 1986. The DVD is still being sold. I've seen women scared of firearms have personality transformations as they undergo a firearms training class and start putting rounds into the center of the target. Thanks for a great piece that's all too true. Tuesday Weld? Ahhhh…
10 day waiting periods kill. You gave her good advice, that is all you could do.
<a href="http://lonewolfarcher.blogspot.com/” target=”_blank”>http://lonewolfarcher.blogspot.com/
10 day waiting periods kill. You gave her good advice, that is all you could do.
http://lonewolfarcher.blogspot.com/
As a retired Deputy Sheriff, I can not tell you the number of times I have seen the above played out. She was very fortunate to have a Police officer tell her to "get a gun." Too many department these days, still tell people not to fight back, even knowing that they can not protect them, and the courts will back them up. Do not wait for trouble to come before you prepare. If you want peace, prepare for war.
I was always for guns. For others. They could own 'em, I didn't need one. Now, with me being in my mid 20's and potentially moving out and living alone in the city- – the idea of owning one sounds just seems, essential.
*MissQuinn*
Stories like this break my heart. Nobody should have to live in fear like that, but everyone knows restraining orders aren't worth the paper they're written on. God bless the police, but they can't be everywhere and even IF they are summoned, it will take several minutes at least for them to get there.
I had the same fear of firearms – until I actually fired one. While I have a healthy respect with what they can do, if it's not pointed at you, there is no need for anxiety.
I wear flip flops year round. It doesn't matter what shoes I'm wearing, I LITERALLY can't run any faster than I can walk, so fleeing is not an option unless an attacker is disabled (even if temporarily). This is why I learned karate – I can break a number of holds then disable or even kill an attacker. Not that you want them getting that close to you!
I have pepper spray, if I can't get to it in time, I am fairly confident I can knock someone down until I get get a shot off in their face. If that doesn't work, I have my Glock. Sadly, we all have to take primary responsibility for our own safety and the safety of those around us.
A gun by itself isn't enough; she has to be committed to using it without hesitation when the time comes. As one response noted, paper targets are easier. I hope she gets this along with her training. Fear and doubt make wimps that will hesitate and die.
Liberalism is the idea that it is reality's responsibility to conform to my beliefs, because I have a right to believe whatever I want.
I'm glad I live in Oklahoma, where the 2nd Amendment is still honored. I believe that, as a husband and father, it's my responsibility to protect my family. That means I need the proper tools to do that. If I don't have those tools, I'm failing in my responsibility.
My .357 magnum and 12 gauge pump shotgun are ready.
You are right. If you point a gun at someone in self-defense, you have to be prepared to shoot to kill. If you can't do that, then you shouldn't own a gun.
Robert, once again, you have reduced me to tears. It is sad that we have to protect ourselves this way. BTW, what a real stand up guy you are! Thanks.
I'd rather own the gun and not be able to shoot someone than be able to and not own one.
Truth is none of us know if we could actually pull the trigger, but I want the chance to decide for myself if, heaven forbid, it should ever come to that.
This is just a tremendous, tremendous piece. I'm going to link it at my blog. How many lives must be lost, how many people reduced to lives of terror, before our society gets a more reality-based set of pictures into its corporate head?
I sigh and cry.
Wow, you mean California has these incredible gun laws, including restrictions on who can own a gun, and bad people still get guns? You still have gun crime? How's that? Insert sarcastic expression here.
[...] Robert Avrech, over at Big Hollywood, recounts his encounter with a stalked woman in a gun shop in Culver City (CA): “I can’t believe I’m here. I’ve been against guns and violence my whole [...]
better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6…..
I was in a situation where I had to defend myself with a concealed firearm, didn't have to shoot anyone but the mere presence sent the attackers running. Had they taken one more step I have no doubts that I would be able to pull the trigger.
My hands shook for an hour after it happened, but they were steady when it counted.
I guess they don't have enough "Gun Free Zone" signs to go around…..those REALLY work……
I am fairly confident I can knock someone down until I get get a shot off in their face. If that doesn't work, I have my Glock.
Is it wrong that I find this incredibly attractive? (in a non-stalker, I'm married kind of way)
I met my future wife in a scenario very similar to that. She fears her ex so much that I insisted that she have her self armed before we could go any further. It changed her ouitlook on men (particularly me) and now we are getting married this summer. I should have thought of using the gun store to meet girls before! It's a pretty great "screening" tool!
Lynn – there is a book by Paxton Quigley (a pseudonym) geared towards women called "Armed and Female" – great book – she has a web site – http://www.paxtonquigley.com – the book goes into just about every question a neophyte may have about pistols – it is a great reference.
Another great article. I hope she takes your advice and learns self defense along with how to use her gun. She can't wear her gun 24/7, and it won't do her any good if its in a drawer and Ned pins her against a wall and chokes the life out of her.
Gun control laws are enacted by liberal elites who have no intent to comply with them themselves. Senator Feinstein carries a .38 revolver in her purse, and when asked why she wanted to deny that same right to other women, her reply was telling: in essence (I don't have the exact quote) she said that because she was a prominent figure, she was a more likely target, and needed the protection, unlike "regular" women (condescension? arrogance?). In the view of political elites, laws are for "the little people" (the masses). Note how many prominent elected officials fail to comply with tax laws that get the rest of us audited and fined.
How many women have died under thae above scenerio because they knew nothing about firearms and the stalker killed them? And becauseof our concealed carry laws in California it is impossible in most urban counties to have a permit – ironically in most of the rural counties it is very easy (and the permit is good state wide).
Still if I knew that someone was threatening my life I would be carrying – perhaps have a call to the police – or a restraining order on file – as legal back up.
You have to have the will to use it too – nothing worse than pointing a gun at a bad guy without the will they you (and he) knows you will use it. You would most likely end up dead by your own firearm in that scenario.
You never point a weapon at anything you don't intend to shoot.
That being said there have been more crimes stopped by the simple display of a firearm…
How many women have died under the above scenario because they knew nothing about firearms and the stalker killed them? And because of our concealed carry laws in California it is impossible in most urban counties to have a permit – ironically in most of the rural counties it is very easy (and the permit is good state wide).
Still if I knew that someone was threatening my life I would be carrying – perhaps have a call to the police – or a restraining order on file – as legal back up.
You have to have the will to use it too – nothing worse than pointing a gun at a bad guy without the will they you (and he) knows you will use it. You would most likely end up dead by your own firearm in that scenario.
You never point a weapon at anything you don't intend to shoot.
That being said there have been more crimes stopped by the simple display of a firearm…
Good article, Robert.
How many women have died under thae above scenerio because they knew nothing about firearms and the stalker killed them? And becauseof our concealed carry laws in California it is impossible in most urban counties to have a permit – ironically in most of the rural counties it is very easy (and the permit is good state wide).
Still if I knew that someone was threatening my life I would be carrying – perhaps have a call to the police – or a restraining order on file – as legal back up.
You have to have the will to use it too – nothing worse than pointing a gun at a bad guy without the will they you (and he) knows you will use it. You would most likely end up dead by your own firearm in that scenario.
You never point a weapon at anything you don't intend to shoot.
That being said there have been more crimes stopped by the simple display of a firearm…
Good article, Robert.
How many women have died under thae above scenerio because they knew nothing about firearms and the stalker killed them? And becaus eof our concealed carry laws in California it is impossible in most urban counties to have a permit – ironically in most of the rural counties it is very easy (and the permit is good state wide).
Still if I knew that someone was threatening my life I would be carrying – perhaps have a call to the police – or a restraining order on file – as legal back up.
You have to have the will to use it too – nothing worse than pointing a gun at a bad guy without the will they you (and he) knows you will use it. You would most likely end up dead by your own firearm in that scenario.
You never point a weapon at anything you don't intend to shoot.
That being said there have been more crimes stopped by the simple display of a firearm…
Good article, Robert.
How many women have died under the above scenario because they knew nothing about firearms and the stalker killed them? And because of our concealed carry laws in California it is impossible in most urban counties to have a permit – ironically in most of the rural counties it is very easy (and the permit is good state wide).
Still if I knew that someone was threatening my life I would be carrying – perhaps have a call to the police – or a restraining order on file – as legal back up.
You have to have the will to use it too – nothing worse than pointing a gun at a bad guy without the will they you (and he) knows you will use it. You would most likely end up dead by your own firearm in that scenario.
You never point a weapon at anything you don't intend to shoot.
That being said there have been more crimes stopped by the simple display of a firearm…
Good article, Robert.
They have places where guns are free? Now you tell me, after I spent all that money.
I heard snarky little Katie Couric do her bit on a conservative radio show yesterday, she talked about the nutbag that shot up the nursing home and a couple other incidents and then basically blamed all the violence on guns instead of the criminal.
She blamed gun shows and such for all the violence, not the actual criminal.
She blamed "the lack of strong laws" on the violence, instead of the criminals.
This is exactly the problem with liberals, they refuse to take responsibility for anything, and then help criminals shirk their responsibilities as well.
Katie Couric should be ashamed for perpetuating the lie that guns cause violence instead of the criminal.
Robert's writing gets me everytime! As an ex-abused wife, who had a psychotic husband for 14 yrs., let me tell you about restraining orders. Take out a piece of notebook paper. Place it on the floor. Stick a pen between your toes, and then scribble on the piece of paper. There! You now have your very own restraining order! Or, something that is equal in value. Cops are great, when they are there, and they can't always be there, so you have the law. It, unfortunately, is completely screwed up. I've always carried a gun, had one since I was 7, so I was left with the choice of shooting, and possibly going to prison, or trying to go through legal channels, and just stay one step ahead. I nearly lost my life in that game, more than once, ending up in the ICU on multiple occasions.. If any woman is afraid of a man, even a little bit, it is up to YOU to save your own life, learn how to take care of your own self, and don't depend on the law or cops getting to you in time. Please.
Oh sure!
But the ammo is a fortune…..lol
Robert, another incredibly good article and you gave her some good advice too. I've "sold" more than one of my female friends on .38s when they were concerned about their safety. The sad fact is that too many people think that all they need to do is call the police and everything will be okay, and maybe it will be, but if it takes the police 10 minutes to get to you, what do you do? If you don't have a weapon and someone is intent on doing you harm, not a whole lot more than being a victim unfortunately. I'm fortunate that in the States I live in, both are firmly on the side of the citizenry to defend themselves, I don't leave the house without at least one of my pistols worn either openly or concealed (I have the permits for doing that) and neither does my fiancee or mother.
I was in the local gun shop here in Pennsylvania last week myself to buy a new .45 and the clerk I bought it from was a college girl. It always makes me happy to see that, and while she was processing my paperwork (unlike the CA experience it takes about 15 minutes to run the check and the gun goes out the door with you) we chatted about the big sale they'd had over the weekend, she said that most of the people coming in to buy guns for the first time were either families, or single women. Which we both agreed were good things. Incidentally on the wall next to the rack of "assault rifles" (only 2 cheap Yugo AKs left) they had a picture of Barack Obama with "Employee of the Year" under it, it made me chuckle…until I realized they really were completely out of .45 ammunition so I had to drive around to 3 different stores to find any.
Robert, what a great article.
Ladies, make sure you are obvious when going to the gun range — carry your guns out of your house, lock them in your car, go back in and and carry out big, flapping targets, a cooler with drinks, adjust your hat, fling out your arms in joy and spin around, make a Broadway production out of it. Every neighbor, every stalker, should know that you're a bad ass gunowner and you're proud of it.
I was stalked by a crazed fan (or not, I'm not sure, the letters were pretty incoherent and covered with numbers and symbols, but the part about killing my kids in front of me and then taking me off for rape, torture and death was gruesomely specific). My family has a "bad-guy" drill just like we have a fire drill. They all know what to do if some guy in a hockey mask busts into the house. There won't be any kids standing the field of fire.
I share this story because every family should have a "bad guy" drill just like a fire drill. Even in peaceful neighborhoods, bad things can happen. Best to be prepared.
Amen. It's like cell phones. They keep getting more and more sophisticated, and cheaper. Then you get your first monthly bill.
I just joined the NRA. My brother, who shoots competitively, gave me this bit of advice: For a woman, especially one who isn't yet a good shot – until you are – aim for the gonads. Your hand will naturally rise as you fire and you will blow off most everything between the groin and the sternum, or just keep on shooting. With 30 rounds in your magazine, why stop at one or two shots? I'm picturing Ned as I write this. Two more words: Hollow points!
What a great idea – a Bad Guy drill. I will do that. Thanks, Bonnie.
This is great advise.
I would also suggest getting a dog. Doesn't have to be a monster that can swallow a bad guy whole either. I had a Dachshund that barked at everything, little yippers will wake you up everytime.
The next sound the bad guy hears will be me racking a round into my Remington 870 shotgun. There is no other sound like that…..
Unfortunately the only pictures being broadcast are by hysterical nitwits that are paving our way to hell with their good intentions.
Excellent story! This is a good example of why I am coming to this site more and more. First, it's nice to hear stories from people with experience in the real world rather than the same old armchair arguments from ideologues on the left (and occasionally on the right too, sorry to say). Second, I live in Missouri, which is a far more sensible place than California (no offense, natives), so reading about the day-to-day effects of the policies imposed by Pelosi, Feinstein & Co. is a real eye-opener. Anyone who thinks those supposedly sophisticated places like New York or San Francisco have anything on good ol' Middle America should read these stories.
Here's some more on Dianne Feinstein.
She successfully campaigned to make .50 cal rifles illegal in CA.
Know how many crimes have been committed with a .50 cal rifle in CA?? EVER?? ZERO….
Know how many crimes have been committed in the entire country with a .50 cal rifle??
You already know the answer. This woman is beyond arrogant and elitist, she uses the constitution as TP. But until the morons in CA stop electing her and those like her, CA will always be the springboard for left wing extremism.
The holes in the silhouette target that hangs in my front window were made by me using a S/W 629 . Folks that ask about it usually do so in a bit of a tttrembly (sic) voice.
Heh heh.
Thanks for a great article !
is it illegal in California to loan a person a gun?! Is it 'illegal' (if also unConstitutional) to buy from a private party!!!!???? What the heck!?
Someone should start a "bullet of the month club" or something…
How much effort you have to go into to purchase a gun varies from state to state, some are fairly time consuming and tedious processes, others are as simple as an instant computer check and being asked,"Do you want that in a bag?"
Heather,
NEVER "LOAN" ANYONE A GUN! They should have thought of buying their own guns before the crisis happened.
<S>
This article shows why it is impossible to win the "WAR ON TERROR" If the polizia cannot stop a known threat what can be done to stop someone who wakes up and decides to commit an act of terror. What a joke.
Mr. Avrech,
I've been there Brother. Trying to help a woman with a "Bum" of an Ex Boyfriend protect herself and her children. I wish your friend was here in Virginia. There is no "Waiting Period" here (provided you pass the instant background check).
And By the way, When are you going to write another Movie/Book, so I can find a way to support you and Karen and the little Avrech's. Reading you here at Big Hollywood and at your web site isn't enough!
I remember one of Obama teleprompt-less, off the cuff responses during the campaign when, asked about about gun control, he responded, we Americans didn't have to worry about losing our guns. Not because of our right to bear arms, but, as he said, he didn't have the votes. No wonder so many people are buying guns before Obama and Congresss eighty six our .38s and .44s. When teleprompters are outlawed, only outlaws will have teleprompters.
I remember one of Obama's teleprompt-less, off the cuff responses during the campaign when, asked about about gun control, he responded, we Americans didn't have to worry about losing our guns. Not because of our right to bear arms, but, as he said, he didn't have the votes. No wonder so many people are buying guns before Obama and Congresss eighty six our .38s and .44s. When teleprompters are outlawed, only outlaws will have teleprompters.
Yes, Oscarfoxtango is absolutely right. Never, ever let one of your own guns walk without you attached…..
Also, the only thing unconstitutional is what CA is doing to it's citizens regarding gun ownership.
Jim:
1. Western democracies are not fighting a war on terror. We are fighting a war against radical Islam, a totalitarian ideology/religion that seeks to annihilate Jews and Christians and enslave the globe under the banner of Islam and sharia law.
2. Police, are by law and action, tasked to confront crime after the fact.
3. That is why the war against radical Islam is not a police action, but a military operation involving intelligence, black ops, and all branches of the service.
4. Radical Islam, like Nazism and Imperial Japan, can be defeated. It's just a matter of political will.
[...] Against Guns and Violence, Unfortunately Reality Has Intruded on My Delusional.. Big Hollywood Blog Archive ?I’m Against Guns and Violence, Unfortunately Reality Has Intruded … A good read. I’m glad that more and more people are opening themselves up to firearm ownership and [...]
That is an outstanding idea….
Good story, but those marines were most likely buying magazines and not clips.
Could you imagine if someone would have to go through the same process if they wanted to write a newspaper article? (10 day waiting period, background check, ink & paper taxes, finger prints, newspaper free zones) Anti-2nd amendment groups would be screaming from the rooftops; ignoring that the pen in mightier than the sword. One news article is much more dangerous than one gun, yet out of a desire to live in a fantasy utopia many will ignore the fact that murder is motivated by hatred. Hatred is a by product of lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, or pride of life that are in each person's heart.(Jeremiah 17:9, 1 Juhn 2:16) A gun, bow and arrow, knife, club, or fists, are just tools to execute the wrath of judgement upon the other person. The solution is changing the heart, not changing the tool.
S&W J frame .38 Special revolver — a GREAT suggestion Robert! Btw, were you wearing your saddle shoes in the guns store?
That was your work, heh? The video with Geoffrey Lewis, Gerald McRaney and a lady who acted in a little bit of everything in the 70's and 80's, correct?
That was a well done video. I have purchased it a 3 or 4 times as a gift for female friends who were dealing with self defense issues and struggling with deciding yes or no to purchasing a firearm. You're a good man!
This is exactly right. The problem isn't guns or knives. The problem is our propensity for violence. Our ability to do harm to one another and the willingness to do harm.
Our capacity for violence is just as much a part of human nature as joy, or sorrow, or pain. You can't pass a law to turn that part of our nature off. Removing guns from the table won't make a killer do a V-8 forehead slap and not be a killer anymore.
Those laws attack a sympton, and not the real problem, and that is man's inhumanity to man. And unfortunately, to stop those that would do harm, we have to be prepared, and armed, to meet them head on.
The fifteen-day, and then ten-day, waiting period was originally introduced because the national computer systems were not yet in place to do a background check in a reasonable period of time. But now, it's just another way to harass and subjugate Californians like this poor woman who want to buy a gun to save their own lives.
The National Instant Check System, NICS, has been in place since November 1998, and as a result you can walk out of a gun store with your purchase in many states – but not in California.
http://www.keepandbeararms.com/information/XcIBVi...
—
Waiting periods extend a potential victim's "period of vulnerability," sometimes with tragic consequences. For example, in 1991 Wisconsin resident Bonnie Elmasri, seeking to purchase a firearm for protection from a husband who had repeatedly threatened to kill her, was told she would have to wait 48 hours to obtain the weapon. Unfortunately, 48 hours was too long to wait; the abusive husband killed Bonnie and her two children the next day.[iii]
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Thanks for this article, Robert! And that picture of the S & W .38 was icing. One question I have for you, as a Minnesota resident, is whether or not I can simply have my husband purchase a gun for me, since he already has a permit to purchase. Sorry if this is a dumb question or has been dealt with before. I still have a lot to learn.
I never thought I'd see my country get to this point. We are under siege from government at all levels. We probably be astonished to see how many anti-gun liberal politicians carry weapons. We have let our politicians morph themselves into de-facto monarchs. It is time to take our country back.
The Name you are looking for is "Lee Purcell". Very sexy eyes!
That's why I keep my guns from, loading themselves, taking my car keys and then going joyriding while drinking wiskey, looking for a schoolyard to shoot up! Now I have to keep them out of nursing homes too!?! (Damn!!)
Robert, a very nice piece on the insanity of the government interference of self defense. I think that we all have known persons who have lived a period of time in a similar state of fear and uncertainty.
Living in fear for your own life and your loved ones' lives is the worst, unfair burden the government can impose on an innocent person. And it is a burden imposed by those who are armed and/or have armed protection at their disposal.
California's 10 day waiting is a snap compared to Hawaii. First, is a day-long course, including mandatory time on the range. The course instructor has to get a signed affidavit from a court stating that you took the class. That takes several days and requires a trip back to the course site because the affidavit can't be mailed to you. You must have the affidavit to buy a gun. Once you buy the gun you can not take possession of it. You next go to the police station. At the police station you are fingerprinted. The fingerprints are sent off to the FBI. You have to fill out extensive paperwork, including a release form to your personal physician authorizing release of your medical information. You must go back to the police station 2 weeks later to pick up your paperwork. They will not mail it to you. There is a five day window to pick up the paperwork. If you forget to pick it up it is thrown away and you must start over. No reminders are given. Once you pick up the paperwork it is good for only 10 days and then expires. The next step is to take the paperwork back to the gun shop. At this point you have the gun shop sign the paperwork and pick up your gun; however, you are still not finished. You must take the signed paperwork and the gun back to the police department again. You have 48 hours to accomplish this or you are breaking the law. The police inspect the paperwork and the gun and at that point you are a gunowner.
Of course she failed to mention the story about the young man who attacked his 3 sisters, killing two, with a knife. The case was especially brutal and I hesitate to get into the specifics here because it's so graphic. Needless to say, that case should draw the media attention but it doesn't make any political points so it just kind of fades away…
My guns can't drive a stick, so I'm good….
That is exactly what my Dad has always told us! Both myself and my sisters have learned to handle firearms since we were 9. I have my concealed carry license and while I have never had to actively draw on someone I have had to access it and been ready to draw very recently.
A good piece of CC advice for the ladies is that a pocket is really better than a purse. A purse is better than nothing.
Well that's the problem. If someone wants to kill someone they're going to find out a way to do it whether they have access to a gun or not. Banning guns is just silly, what's next? Banning steak knives? Are we all going to have to use the blunt elementary school scissors??
You're right, it's all purely political nothing more.
I had a couple of scary experiences during my college years. One was a stalker who called my work and told my co-workers he was watching me. Lovely. You think hard about self-protection after that. California has gun laws that put all the power in the hands of those who are willing to break the law. So I went for self-defense in the form of martial arts, got myself a black belt and spent a lot of time learning how to *really* defend myself (as opposed to going to class for a good workout) but once I had kids I began to realize that it wasn't enough. We have guns for home protection and my kids will learn how to shoot as soon as their old enough.
Yeah Hank, stupid Katie Couric is from a little town in south Georgia, Moultrie. I can assure you that the gun population in Moultrie is around 10 per house. Some of the greatest Quail, Dove, Duck, Deer, Turkey hunting in America gun violence is non existent. I was raised in a little town south of Moultrie, Thomasville and guns are part of the culture.
Great article Robert! An armed citizenry is a safe citizenry. Single women especially should have a weapon and be trained to use it.
Mr A,
Very powerful. We need a ' nation of Boudicca ', and G-d willing, we're getting them.
Best Always
Sarge
Another highly rewarding article – thanks Robert.
The Cornered Cat is a great site, and it led me to another one, nononsenseselfdefense.com.
Both offer lots of great info.
There's so much more to staying safe than just having a gun and being good at using it —
such as staying informed & aware, and sometimes making some sacrifices (accepting restrictions etc)
in order to avoid danger or minimize risks. It takes an ongoing committment. It seems that many social factors discourage a person from doing what is actually neccessary to stay reasonably safe. That discouragement is a silent danger in itself.
I'm not so sure a .38 is the best gun for women. Revolvers sure are nice, simple, easy for a new gun owner, but many .38s are too light (particularly the Airweight) and have a small sight radius.
Best thing I ever did was take a class first, then rented a bunch of guns to see which I shot best. Which was oddly (or not so oddly) the good old 1911 pattern. Noted Firearms trainer Massad Ayoob finds that the small circumference of the grip and excellent trigger make Commander sized 1911 patterns particularly female-friendly, and has worked as an expert witness in discrimination lawsuits (arguing that women and smaller stature men be allowed firearms that fit their hand to qualify for shooting scores, duty weapons, etc. as Law Enforcement Officers).
The 1911 or the High-Power patterns have excellent triggers that many female shooters love, the simplicity of revolvers is offset by the strength needed to pull the trigger.
So a class, perhaps with a female friend, followed by renting lots of guns, would be best. THOSE don't have waiting permits.
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I am always struck by how much women oppose guns and gun ownership, despite the fact that it makes them the equal of any man. In that regard the strong female gun-using characters of "the Pretender" and "Chuck" stand out, as more realistic women than the fantasy waifs with superpowers favored by TV and movies. As a positive influence towards reality.
However, I think it runs deeper than that. Women I think deeply and sincerely oppose gun ownership until the last moment because their power lies in social power, approval and disapproval, setting the moral tone, and so on. The View, Oprah, Ellen, etc. are the best examples: women using social power to define the acceptable and non-acceptable. Women don't like to recognize the limits of social power. Hence their reflexive desire to ban guns unless they have no other choice.
Despite obvious advantages, very few women are gun owners and the vast majority of gun owners are men.
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Re: Violent and dangerous men like "Ned." Women of course are attracted to them, not because Robert the men hide their true natures but because they REVEAL THEM. Women have never had in the history of mankind more freedom and security, together, and so seek excitement, danger, and so on in the belief they can control the dangerous and violent man. Theodore Dalrymple in "Life at the Bottom" describes how his professional, educated nurses to a woman chose violent abusers and found ordinary "decent" men "boring."
The ordinary and decent man knows two things: one no matter how much he plays "rescuer" the women in question will simply choose another violent, dangerous man. And two, the violent, dangerous man has both the law (which fears him and his lawyers) and initiative on his side. Joe Average "rescuer" has much to lose, cannot escalate, and the law which does not fear him comes down on him like a ton of bricks. The "Ned" has nothing to lose, can escalate to whatever he likes, and the Law fears him and will often take his side.
In any event, the forces that allow women total freedom and anonymity, erase a strong, well-knit community that formerly kept "Neds" in place by the expedient of either brutally beating them or simply killing them if they got too troublesome. The Woman in Question undoubtedly does not have a Father, many uncles, cousins, and brothers, all connected, able to inflict crippling injuries and get away with it.
Everything has it's price, including freedom.
Generally a well written article. I've met them, just like the one you described. I've taught lots of them how to use firearms safely and effectively.
One mistake though:
"Two Marines on leave are stocking up on rugged, combat-ready clips for their side-arms. Semper Fi."
"combat-ready clips for their side-arms"? Do you mean magazines? I can only think of one or two handguns that actually used clips, almost all modern non-revolver firearms use magazines. There's a big difference between them. Also, I think the terms "rugged, combat-ready" is just hyperbola. I don't ever remember having a choice between "dainty, easily dented" magazines and "rugged, combat-ready" magazines. Usually you can buy factory magazines, and if you are in a particularly well stocked store, you MIGHT find an off-brand magazine. But you get what you get. Then again, I can't criticize you too much, you live in movie-land, where people use firearm terms loosely and inaccurately, and all firearms can fire thousands of rounds without reloading.
I try stan! I try to sell all the single woomen I know that they should arm. But they never listen. You can't help the foolish!
Great column, but I have one minor nit to pick:
Believe it or not, the 1911 in .45acp is probably the absolute best handgun in existance for a woman. The grip is thin and not too bulky (more comfortable in smaller hands), the trigger is light and crisp (or should be) and the recoil of the .45acp is a nice solid shove vs the harsh snappy slap of the .357mag and dumps a lot more energy into the target than the anemic 38spec.
Snub nose revolvers are not guns for newbies, shooting one well requires much more practice than a quality modern semi auto.
But overall, a very good article.
Oh and double points for linking The Cornered Cat!
Great column, but I have one minor nit to pick:
“Those are .45 automatics. Probably too much gun for you. I’d recommend a simple revolver. Probably a Smith & Wesson J frame, a .38. But we’ll see what the salesman have to say, they are the experts here, okay?”
Believe it or not, the 1911 in .45acp is probably the absolute best handgun in existance for a woman. The grip is thin and not too bulky (more comfortable in smaller hands), the trigger is light and crisp (or should be) and the recoil of the .45acp is a nice solid shove vs the harsh snappy slap of the .357mag and dumps a lot more energy into the target than the anemic 38spec.
Snub nose revolvers are not guns for newbies, shooting one well requires much more practice than a quality modern semi auto. Heavy, long trigger. Harsh recoil accompanied by a large amount of muzzle flip. And don't buy the "reliability" claims. When a revolver malfunctions it usually requires a gunsmith, when a semi auto malfunctions it can usually be cleared with a simple tap-rack/roll-bang drill.
But overall, a very good article.
Oh and double points for linking The Cornered Cat!
Great column, but I have one minor nit to pick:
“Those are .45 automatics. Probably too much gun for you. I’d recommend a simple revolver. Probably a Smith & Wesson J frame, a .38. But we’ll see what the salesman have to say, they are the experts here, okay?”
Believe it or not, the 1911 in .45acp is probably the absolute best handgun in existance for a woman. The grip is thin and not too bulky (more comfortable in smaller hands), the trigger is light and crisp (or should be) and the recoil of the .45acp is a nice solid shove vs the harsh snappy slap of the .357mag and dumps a lot more energy into the target than the anemic 38spec.
Snub nose revolvers are not guns for newbies, shooting one well requires much more practice than a quality modern semi auto.
But overall, a very good article.
Oh and double points for linking The Cornered Cat!
Then she should spend a week in Kenisaw!! There you HAVE to own a gun, and guess what the crime rate is????
Everyone leaves their doors open and it's a nice little community.
Katie Couric is part of the problem, NOT the solution. But she's too busy pandering to hysteria to spend any time actually looking for the truth.
"Two Marines on leave are stocking up on rugged, combat-ready clips for their side-arms. Semper Fi."
"combat-ready clips for their side-arms"? Do you mean magazines?
They were Marines … I'm sure Robert was referring to them purchasing clips for their Garands
"Two Marines on leave are stocking up on rugged, combat-ready clips for their side-arms. Semper Fi."
"combat-ready clips for their side-arms"? Do you mean magazines?
They were Marines … I'm sure Robert was referring to them purchasing clips for their Garands
note to Andrew: NOT COOL disabling
code
After I left the military I joined a Police Department and retired as a Robbery/Homicide Detective. I was a weapons specialist in the service and have taught hunter safety classes for years, actually decades. A firearm is not for everyone. With ownership comes responsibility and that bothers some potential users of a firearm. A female is usually reluctant to fire one however they are naturally a better shot at the beginning. We males have watched too many John Wayne movies and must learned how to properly use one all over again. ANYONE who chooses to join the ranks of owning a firearm should do a little research before making that step. Take the necessary classes and become a serious shooter not someone who owns one that is stored in a box in a closet somewhere. Restraining orders are useless when attempting to protect yourself from a violent person. Remember a firearm ready for defense is worth more than the 911 operator on the phone.
Yes! That's her! I used to confuse her with Sarah Purcell from "Real People" when I'd see her name in the credits. Yes, she is quite a lovely lady.
Wow! Lars Walker!
Ah… for other people's benefit… Lars wrote a couple unique and rather interesting novels. Well worth checking out.
I hope all turns out well for that young lady.
My wife wanted her own gun, she did not like any of mine, from a .25 to .40 semi's or .38 to .44 mag wheel guns. Took her to the gun show and let her heft, feel and paw pistols for 3 hours. She settled on a Springfield .45 model 1911. I said "honey that is a .45 and you are only 5 feet tall." She said "This one feels good, I want it." So she got it, and she just loves shooting that thing.
We tell all women, "yes indeed, get yourself a self defense arm and practice, practice and more practice."
My experience with "kick" is that a .45 hits harder, but it's more of a push, and the 9mm usually hits sharper, harsher. Granted, I don't recall what model of anything I was shooting at the time, but I wouldn't discount a .45 over worry about recoil.
In other words, I just wanted to say (as a small, female person, with tiny hands and very thin wrists,) that this is also my experience.
What I was wondering (since you seem to know about weapons) was if there are considerations about penetration for self or home defense… expecting that you hit what is aimed at, what is less likely to but a bullet through a body and then a wall or farther?
If anyone is curious about learning more about pistols a woman who had a friend who was raped wrote a book under the pseudonym of Paxton Quigley – Armed and Female – but it is a good book for anyone wanting to learn more – different kinds, calibers, how to learn, etc.
About self-defense in general:
The advice about SHOES was something that should not be neglected. I was really pleased to see that. My karate teacher was always on about how what we were learning, in application, was to enable the "running away" part of it all. The karate was just to give yourself the head start.
The ancient Chinese bound the feet of girls so that they'd tip-toe in a delicate fashion.
Western women hobble themselves voluntarily.
The answer to concerns about over penetration is hollow points (not legal in New Jersey).
watch this: http://www.thehatchreport.com/video/hollow-point-...
When they hit soft tissue (or drywall) they expand which puts the brakes on them keeping them in the body of the target or in the wall (the added benefit is that they do more tissue damage too … and the name of the game is either disrupt/destroy the central nervous system or facilitate the rapid loss of blood).
Keep in mind that ANY centerfire handgun cartridge is going to go through a typical drywall & 2×4 wall like its not even there, so you should plan for that in a home defense situation. Thats one reason people suggest a shotgun for home defense (although heavier buckshot you'd use for self defense is just as bad as a handgun when it comes to walls).
Great! another Hot Babe with firearms experience, and she's married!
I would stick with Jacked Hollow points (JHP) pr "Franfable" (sp) ammo. Both do damage to flesh but, expend their energy in something like dry wall.
Better yet, Hit what you aim at. That was the bets advice I eve got.
The best selling firearm in the US is the S&W 'Ladysmith', a .38 snub nose first designed in the '30's … smart females are learning martial skills such as self defense and weapons training. Godspeed, ladies… for others we recommend the concentric ring theory with yourself (and then family and property) right in the middle.
It kind of goes like this: 5-15 ft circle handguns preferably .357 revolvers or .40-.45 autos; 9mm is too small and too fast to do much damage. 12 guage shotguns (Remington 870 is a great gun) with 00 buckshot.
15-50 feet small caliber rifles .223. AR-15, .30 caliber carbines, 30/30 lever action, varmint rifles…
50-300 feet 30:06 M1-Garand (sweet!) .308 M1A's, FN-FAL… your basic 'assault rifle' concept.
300- 600 feet bolt action scoped .308's or 30.06- Remington 700 is nice with Leupold optics.
600 ft and beyond .50 caliber Barret… will take down a chopper as well.
You need a good battle blade as well. Happy hunting!
I’ve lived in the Atlanta are for almost 40yrs, and about 25yrs ago they passed a law in Kennesaw that you had to own a firearm. It sits about 20 miles north of Atlanta (population 5.75 million) and is rated one of the safest towns in America. “I wonder why?”
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