Hollywood is Burning, Part II: Get-a-Way
by Robert J. AvrechI have to protect my family.
I’m pretty sure the mob outside is dead serious about breaking in and getting down to some serious violence.
Not to mention liberating some pretty major karats. At the reception, I noticed huge diamonds whose glitter could induce seizures; watches: at least a dozen Cartier Tanks; I could not count the Rolex Oysters, and no doubt there’s enough loose cash to make your average L.A. rioter reasonably satisfied. This is, after all, an affluent Hollywood crowd.
Armed & Dangerous With a Swiss Army Knife—Just Kidding
I have to protect my family.
In my pocket, as always, a little Swiss Army Knife.
“I’ve never yet seen an eyeball who felt that the Swiss Army Knife was not a dangerous weapon.”
This charming and somewhat gruesome comment, advice really, was given to me by my Israeli buddy, a grizzled tank commander who, one drunken evening, cheerily listed for yours truly all the common, everyday objects that have lethal potential. My friend was a big fan of the ordinary Swiss Army Knife and its zillions of nifty attachments.
So: it is pitch black, rioters are gathering outside the DGA building, and to make matters even worse, women and children in the lobby are yelling, sobbing—every moist and yucky sound imaginable—in panic.
I feel like announcing:
“People, shrieking does not help. Really it doesn’t.”
But, why bother? It’s a mob mentality and there is no reasoning with such people. Unless maybe you’re Gregory Peck in To Kill a Mockingbird.
Which I am not.
Anyhoo.
I’m busy formulating a plan, trying to figure out a way to escape this building before the rioters break in, before they figure out a way of crashing through one of the numerous doors.
Interpolation:
Karen does not scream or yell.
Unnaturally calm is the love of my life. Even as stones—where do the rioters get rocks?—thwack sharply against the front doors, Karen does not even flinch.
It’s almost eerie. Basically, everyone else is losing their collective minds, but Karen’s expression just builds into this magnificent wall of serene composure. Her posture goes taut, as if a steel rod is welded into her spine and molding her into an incredibly cute Marine.
Ten-chun!
I have this really weird urge to lift her sleeve and seek out the Semper Fi tattoo. And then there’s her lovely face. All the open and generous softness has receded and been replaced by a look of, well, the only way to describe her expression is —
Napoleon at Austerlitz
— have you ever seen those military paintings of 17th Century generals? You know those huge canvases where you get to see a full battle, say Austerlitz, or Waterloo, thousands of men are fighting, dying, blood and guts strewn about, rearing horses with eyes wide as saucers, but the general, the reason for the painting in the first place, well, he’s usually sitting on his white horse, on a hill, watching the battle, and his expression conveys, determination, resolve, bravery, a self-assurance that says to the viewer: Look, believe me, I know exactly what I’m doing.
Anyway, that’s what Karen looks like tonight.
End Interpolation:
“Karen,” I whisper, “I think we should get to the car and get out of here.”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
I’ve been in love with Karen since third grade and have come to the realization that she’s one part Antigone and all Patton.
“Everybody, everybody! Attention, please! We cut the lights. We don’t want them to be able to see inside. Do you understand? We shut down the power. Not them.”
There is a collective buzz as a rent-a-cop repeats this vital announcement.
“What are we supposed to do now?” People shout.
“We’ve called the police,” comes the weak reply.
More nervous buzzing.
“Please, ladies and gentlemen, just wait for the police to arrive.”
I’m thinking: famous last words.
Offspring #2 is still in my arms, still glued to my hip, and though seven-years old, she has regressed and jammed her thumb in her mouth; she trembles mightily, as if freezing. I can actually hear her teeth chattering.
Karen and I edge our way to the staircase; we are not going to wait for the police. We are not going to sit here like victims.
We are going to make our way down to the parking garage, jump into the car, and drive home. We are going to take our fate in our own hands.
The cavalry, I’m pretty sure, and with all apologies to John Ford, is not coming to the rescue.
The Police Are Coming—But Not Really
“Where are you going?”
A rent-a-cop is posted at the staircase.
“To our car,” I tell him.
“That’s not a good idea, sir.”
“We think it is.”
“We’ve called the police.”
“Where are they?”
He says nothing.
“How long before they come?”
“Any minute.”
I gesture to the rioters doing their hostile little dances outside the DGA building:
“What happens when they start throwing Molotov cocktails?”
Rent-a-cop takes a deep breath.
“The police are coming,” he insists.
“Excuse me, we’re going to our car. You can’t stop us.”
The rent-a-cop has about 200 lbs.—all muscle—on yours truly and I’m terrified that he’s going to challenge me.
Thank G-d, he steps aside, murmurs something about not being responsible for our safety.
No kidding.
Poor guy. He’s trying to do his job, but he no longer knows what his job is.
Robert’s Rules for Driving Through a Riot
1. Do not stop for anyone or anything.
2. Not even to help someone. My first responsibility is to my family.
3. If rioters try to blockade the car, drive straight through.
4. If the car stalls, don’t leave the car.
5. Unless the car is on fire.
These rules flash through my mind in a split second.
The Fashionable and Magic Backpack
The stairwell is pitch black. Not good. In fact, it’s bad, very bad.
Suddenly, a golden beam of light slices through the velvety darkness.
“Look,” says Ariel, “Mommy has a flashlight.”
The children are delighted.
Me too.
Karen carries an extremely cool and very feminine leather backpack. It’s something of a joke in the family that the backpack is magic. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, it’s gonna be in the backpack.
Except for a pistol.
Sigh.
Cautiously, looking for signs of the rioters hiding in the garage, we make our way to the car. I’ve definitely seen too many movies. I almost declare: The coast is clear.
I snap Offspring #2 into her car seat. Ariel, 11, also sits in the back with his younger sister. He is pale with fear and confusion. I touch his arm and murmur: “Everything is going to be fine.”
Ariel gives a weak smile and nods his head.
Our children trust us to protect them.
The burden of parenthood has never felt more grave.
Starting up the engine, I realize that I am drenched in sweat, my shirt clings to my body.
Karen reaches into the glove compartment, pulls out the Thomas Guide to Los Angeles.
“We may have to find a different route home,” she says.
“Right.”
Using commencement-of-production bonus money from my last film, we bought a Lexus outfitted with a massive eight cylinder engine. It was a good move. The Lexus is a gas guzzler, but who cares. It’s our Centurion.
And as we cruise up the ramp, my breath catches in my throat for there are a dozen rioters milling about the exit.
Oh man, am I going to be able to put pedal to metal and plow through a bunch of real live human bodies?
My Israeli friend, the tank officer, had something like sixteen kills in a Sinai tank battle during the 1973, Yom Kippur War. When I complimented him on this huge kill ratio he waved it off and said:
“It’s no big deal killing an Egyptian tank. They have this habit of hunkering down and using their tanks as artillery platforms. All wrong. Picking them off was a bit too easy. Remember, always fight an offensive battle. Most people are cowards so if you keep coming at them, chances are they will retreat.”
Okey-dokey.
Louise Brooks, ready for a riot.
Next Week: Part III, Gauntlet. In which we manage to escape from the parking garage, only to discover that the route home is, um, a minefield.
To read Part I of Hollywood is Burning, please click here.
Note: I’m frequently asked how I’m able to remember incidents in such detail, including dialogue, from so many years ago? It’s simple. I do not rely on my memory. I have been keeping a detailed diary for over 20 years. This post, as so many others, is based on my diaries. If there are gaps in my entries, I check with Karen. She was also keeping a diary, plus Karen has a phenomenal memory.
Copyright © Robert J. Avrech
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102 Comments
"Robert's Rules for Driving Through a Riot"
LOL
Classic!
BTW, you put the car in low gear, and chug along. Driving fast increases the risk of losing control, but a nice, low-speed, inexorable momentum gives the faint-hearted the chance to chicken out of the way, and the commited a chance to get ground under the wheels.
Looking forward to Part III
I seriously can't believe you left us hanging…again! Enjoying this series immensely. (It's so much more enjoyable reading about it almost 20 years later than it was living it…though my experience was far less dramatic.)
have resolved that the next time i'm going to be on the supply side of the riot.
the trouble is that there's nothing in my neighborhood, hollywood, worth looting. am i supposed to smash into some shop on the boulevard an steal a leather jacket with axl rose painted on the back? maybe go to the stabucks and get myself a nice couch and some club chairs.
I greatly enjoy these multi-part stories of yours and only wish they would come faster. You have a mastery at putting the reader there with you. It is a gift I am in awe of and envious of at the same time.
Low gear advice…
Now you tell me!
But hey, useful for the next riot.
Another reason I don't live where it is illegal to carry protection of the high calibur kind.
You so need to make this into a screenplay!
What a coincidence. As a perennial owner of the smallest Victoriknox pocket knife (replaced almost annually with a fresh one) I have to concur and smile at the tank commander's note.
'Twould truly make for a very nasty surprise to those of poor judgment.
Now that's funny!
Outstanding series!
Your excellent piece brought back memories. I've lived through 2 of these riots in LA and experienced the very real feeling of being defenseless amid the complete breakdown of civil law. The interesting thing is that the gun banners hunker down for only about two years before they're at it again. You'd think just one of these episodes would innoculate the law abiding populace for the rest of their lives.
I'm convinced that rioters steal just for the sake of stealing. It matters little if the objects are valuable or not. In Hollywood you can always steal the star's footprints embedded in the sidewalk. They'd go for major bucks on e-Bay.
You would think that I having grown up wiating for the monthly offerings of my favorite comics would be able to wait a week between the installments of your posts but I find it to be a test of my patience to have to do so. Your storytelling is infectious and compelling. Thank you. Again.
Faster! Hey, is this my agent in disguise? Sheesh, even when I don't have a deadline you're putting the screws on me.
Seriously, thanks so much for the kind words.
Part III, next week. A nice glass of wine should bring the heart rate down.
The riots changed my life and my outlook. I now own several firearms, go to the range once a month, and understand quite clearly that I am responsible for the safety of my family.
It's a liberating feeling
Maybe it says something about their mental capacity (the gun banners), or what they think is the capacity of others to remember.
Oh right, like Hollywood is actually going to green-light a film that:
1. Is contemptuous of the rioters, and black, ahem, community leaders slash enablers.
2. Contemptuous of the press who called the riot an uprising.
3. Comes out in full force for the NRA and the right to bear arm.
I keep going to the airport with my Swiss Army Knife still attached to my key chain and the incredibly efficient homeland security people keep stealing them from me.
Sigh.
I blame this on Arab/Muslim terror. Osama Bin Laden owes me 4 knives.
Thanks so much. Fun to write about. Hell to live through.
Anti-gun people are actually not really political ideologues; they are religious fanatics. No matter what the facts they have faith that they know better. My wife Karen, a fine psychologist, disagrees with me and believes that they are simply mentally ill.
Illegal to carry? Really? Here in sunny LA where nothing violent ever happens?
Now how is that possible?
[...] Part 2 of Mr. Avrech’s excellent series is up at Big Hollywood. Robert’s Rules for Driving Through a Riot [...]
Thanks so much. Truth is almost always more compelling than fiction. Hey, maybe that's why I'm addicted to "America's Next Top Model."
Admittedly, I overlooked that part.
It would inevitably have to be done as an Independant project. Then again, I know several Independant film makers here in Grand Rapids, MI that would love to put together a truly politically incorrect adventure film, though I would expect getting distribution would be quite the obstacle.
The mark of a truly responsible family man, one who knows what it takes to protect his family.
that's why I used to carry ball point pens with me on flights (Sayak Kali has knife strikes that such pens are well suited for). Unfortunately I am betting TSA has already closed that loophole though.
'tis better to be safe than legal.
Oh wow, now I feel safe. It is against the law to be able to defend myself. But all the bad guys have that info too.
Karen is a find. In this world of pole dancers, she is a treasure.
Brings to mind experiences in DC on 9/11…Only it was the Silence that was truly unnerving about that. Here in Washington, after the initial attack and evacuation, nothing moved or made any noise for days–except for the hourly F15 thundering flyover….followed by more expectant silence…
I've been carrying regularly for more than 10 years. I've only lived the last 6 in a place where its legal.
Unless you engage in activities where you are likely to find yourself being searched for illegal weapons, your risk of actually being caught are very low. In most parts of the country, using an illegally carried weapon in a legitimate self defense situation is an affirmative defense against the concealed weapon charge (don't try this in NYC).
There's also the "better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6" thinking as well.
At any rate, a clean cut, middle aged Jewish family man could easily get away with carrying a concealed handgun around most of LA (just keep an eye out for metal detectors).
I should have known! "Okey-dokey." he says, I suck in a breath, hold it. What now? OMIGOD!! what next???
Comments, that's what!! AARGH!!!
Seriously, fabulous storytelling. I can't wait to find out what happens to LIttle Nell!
This story just gets better! I know and approve of the "Avrech Rules of driving in a Riot" . And since I didn't plan ahead and get a Karen of my own, I have to carry all the flash lights, Swiss army knives myself.
Keep the stories coming!
PS: I bet CO Cindy would have been prepared too!
You are a braver man than I am Robert heck are local news has to import murder stories due to the low crime rate we have. Perhaps it has to do with KY allowing concealed carry.
You are a braver man than I am Robert heck our local news has to import murder stories due to the low crime rate we have. Perhaps it has to do with KY allowing concealed carry.
Mr. Avrech, I must admit that I have been anxiously waiting this second installment, and although I already know the end of the story, it is a singular thrill to read your account. It is nothing short of inspirational. You are helping me convince my wife we need to be responsible for our own defense (luckily, Nevada is an open carry state. I just need to find a good holster for me and a useful pistol for her).
I agree that this story must be told in film. Yes, the Tinseltown loony lefties will reject the idea outright, but there is a message here that everyone must hear. When Rome is burining around us, we cannot rely on the government to save our necks and our family.
I'm reccing this story to all of those that mock my military messenger bag and all of it's supplies
I can attest to that having helped with post-Katrina cleanup in New Orleans. Driving through Harvey, LA, just across the river from New Orleans, it was interesting that the only stores I saw that had smashed windows were shoe stores.
When we went to visit a house that had requested help with some water damaged items in their attic, the front room was filled with a couple of mattresses still in their plastic, a king size bed frame, and a new big screen t.v.; an upstairs bedroom had about 50 boxes of athletic shoes – all brand new. Who couldn't use a new pair of shoes, but 50?? We excused ourselves from that house after taking a couple of bags of wet clothes out for them. They clearly had the ability to "help themselves."
Larry – if you want to read a fascinating book on 9/11 from ATC (Air Traffic Control) viewpoint, read "Touching History" – a lot of myths solved – like the PA plane being "shot down".
Hey Mr. Avrech, I mentioned in the comments of part one that my dad was an LAPD officer for 23 years. I finally got to talk to him a couple days ago and I posted the results of that conversation in the part one comments, but I'm pretty sure that nobody saw what I said, so I'll post them here too:
"I just got to talk to my Dad. According to him, it turns out the LAPD was plenty able to take care of the problem and everyone knew what needed to be done to stop the nonsense. The problem was that the mayor at the time was retiring and Chief Gates wanted to be the be the next mayor, and all the people under him wanted to be the next chief. As a result, nobody wanted to be the one who made the unpopular decisions. The cops themselves knew what needed to be done, but weren't allowed to do it for what amounts to politics. When it became obvious what the police response was going to be, it ignited the situation into the fires of hell and just plain got out of hand.
It sort of reminds me of something that Glenn Beck was talking about the other day. A cop got shot in Houston by an illegal immigrant and is clinging to his life. We apparently knew the guy was in the country illegally, had a rap sheet a mile long on both sides of the border and had the police been allowed to enforce the law, this could have been avoided. Why is this relevant? Politics. The idiots in government refuse to enforce the border and the immigration laws because they think they'll lose votes. For the same reason (politics – albeit over a different issue) the '92 riots went from a situation that could have been managed to all out chaos that claimed lives and millions of dollars in property damage."
And more specifically, Dad had this to say about those in charge: "It is my contention that they DID know what to do, but they didn't have the backbone to do it and risk political suicide."
Have your people call my people:-)
Here is a reality check for any wannabe gunowners :
If you don't get magazines or .223 ammo in the next 2-3 weeks, it is going to be months before you can get them, IF you can get them at all.ALL bulk .223 is gone in the US. In a few weeks (3 or less) there will be no ammo in .223 available. The price won't matter at that point you won't be able to get it. I am telling you, if you don't get it now, you may not get it. It is not going to be cheaper anytime soon (if ever). You should have 1000 rounds minimum per AR, and 500 rounds of handgun ammo for each pistol you own.If you want an AK, go to gun broker.com. This is going to get worse. Every month, demand outpaces production by another 30 days. Three months from now there will be a year backorder.All gun stores are out of magazines. They will be $800 to $1000 after any ban.
Now doesn't that make you feel good ?
Maniacal laugh inserted here___________________________.
Amen
LOL if that dont work, I'll have my machine call your machine.
"Anti-gun people are actually not really political ideologues; they are religious fanatics. No matter what the facts they have faith that they know better. My wife Karen, a fine psychologist, disagrees with me and believes that they are simply mentally ill."
I *was* going to agree with you 100%, Robert, but now that I'm a regular reader of your writings, I realize that Karen is rarely wrong, so I'll defer to her professional diagnosis
Thanks so much for the vote of confidence. Regarding gun ownership: obviously I'm for it, big time. But let me emphasize that gun safety is paramount. You need to know how to use your gun. You need to know the laws in your state regarding guns.
As for a film based on this series: please forward ten million dollars—maybe twenty—and I'll get it produced:-)
C.O. Cindy would have kicked some serious butt.
"Karen carries an extremely cool and very feminine leather backpack. It’s something of a joke in the family that the backpack is magic. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, it’s gonna be in the backpack.
Except for a pistol."… Classic!
Very enthralling. Your story reminds me of how many people are re-active rather than pro-active. So many people who are accustomed to having the thinking done for them rather than thinking for themselves.
Your mention of the Swiss army knife reminds me of how many people cry for help without fighting back be it a mugger, dog or a bear. In any case a simple poke to the eye would remind the attacker that they too are vulnerable and may wish to rethink things quickly lest they loose their depth perception forever. Meanwhile those who used this method to defend themselves can sleep well in the knowledge they did not have to kill their attacker to get the point across.
Anyone who knows me knows that I end 90% of my conversations with: "Okey-dokey." My speaking skills are tragically limited.
Whoa!!!
"In this world of pole dancers…"
Okay, I'm gonna pass on this compliment to Karen and, um, see what happens:-)
BTW, Pride & Prejudice is my favorite novel evuh!
Truth may be more compelling than fiction, but it still takes a good writer to make it so–keep up the good work and installments, Robert!
To which I can only respond: My thoughts exactly.
I know this has been the subject of much analysis and kvetching on the internet, but I STILL don't understand why there's a single Jew on the planet that still believes that disarming the law abiding is a good idea. You'd have thought they'd have learned the folly of that in the 1930s.
You are very kind. Working on Part III, but I keep getting distracted by reality shows that feature incredibly skinny, incredibly neurotic—the perfect combination—so-called models vying for, er, some non-existent contract.
Heading out to my local Staples to purchase some lethal ball point pens!
TSA is always a day late & a dollar short. Ballpoint pens are not the only household item useful as a weapon…infact, try to find any object other than a sponge that cannot be a deadly weapon. Something to ponder before your next hostage situation.
My tank officer buddy was also a big fan of old fashioned can openers.
You can just imagine.
Since third grade, Karen has been consistently right about, well, everything.
I am a very petite woman and my dad made sure that I had a knife to carry with me in my "bottomless purse" (as my husband calls it since I have everything in there). My knife is my self-defense since most guys aren't expecting small women like me to be armed and know how to use it.
I have carried my knife with me for about 5 years now and would never leave home without it. My husband worries about me if I leave it behind.
I always remember to remove my Victorinox when I'm going to fly. But I had to be in court a couple weeks back, and damn if it didn't set off the metal detector. Bye-bye, little knife with fingernail file. Since I don't really give a damn anymore what our local politicians think, I tried carrying my Colt .357 Magnum Colt one late night on a trip to the ATM. It pulled my jacket down so far on one side I looked like Quasimodo. The muggers would have gotten the idea, but so would the police. Gotta get a smaller gun.
A uprisin', a uprisin'
This story is great, can't wait for next weeks segment. Great tid bits of info on how to deal with a mob situation. I need a friend in Israels army to get caught up with all of these, life and death scenarios. I'm taking notes though so I can be ready.
Wow. My heart rate is up reading these accounts. I cannot wait for part III.
Many victims have died waiting for the police to save them. Good move on realizing that your safety is your own responsibility.
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Thank you so much for this story! I am on pins and needles waiting for the next installment. Kudos to Karen for being such a strong woman. In my family, I'm the go-to person in an emergency while my husband is the "freezer." There's nothing cowardly about him, but his brain sort of shuts down while mine becomes tightly focused. We make a good team–my brain tells his brawn what to do, and, fortunately, his brain knows enough to listen to me. :>)
I know what you mean about these things being burned into your mind. Mine goes back to the same place, earlier time. We were driving back from a trip to British Columbia when news came on the radio that there was a "disturbance" in Watts. By the time we reached the greater L.A. area, it was a full-fledged riot. As we were driving on the freeway, I could see the factory I worked at during the summer burning, and plenty of activity right near the freeway. I didn't have your experience of trying to get onto an on ramp, but it was a little scary. My mom was terrified since we could hear gunshots nearby. She asked what we were going to do. I was driving her '55 Imperial (which I think was the prototype for the M-1A-1 Abrams tank). "We're going to keep going, that's what we're going to do. And the faster, the better."
You have a great dad!
And a great purse, obviously.
Confession: I collect Randall knives.
Also, I carry a small tactical knife. Extremely useful when I stab, slice, then hand-shred first drafts of my scripts which are always horrendous.
IDF soldiers are battle-tested in unique ways. Israel is basically at war with 22 barbaric Arab/Muslim states, plus several proxy armies—Hamas and Hizbullah are Iranian proxies—not to mention a 5th column of Arabs israeli citizens within Israel, so the guys and gals of the IDF get lots and lots trigger time with some truly insane characters. The rule of thumb with terrorism is this: whatever happens in Israel, will happen about a year later in the West. israel is the canary in the coal mine of our civilization. So yeah, it's valuable having Israeli soldiers as close friends. It's like knowing the big bouncer with the clip board who controls the line at exclusive Hollywood clubs.
after the northridge quake the boulevard buckled and warped. bugs bunny's star was loose. i was able to lift it up and look at it. but there is a very narrow point where you are drunk enough to steal something like that, and still steady enough to run with 200 pounds of concrete on your back. i never found the right balance.
you all can place orders with me. write down what you want, and i'll see what i can do the next time.
p.s.
remember. according to maxine waters, it wasn't a "riot". it was a "rebellion".
A couple of thoughts come to mind Robert. First I have always felt in the state of California where it depends on which county you live in to have a state-wide carry permit – or not – I am thinking that if I had time to figure out something's bad coming – I would be carrying – whether the "law" is with me or not.
But as I remember the Rodney King riots it came quickly – spontaneously – certainly you wouldn't have been in that theater if you had some warning.
If you want to read a good book on how people react to a horrible event- read 102 Minutes – an account of the WTC at 9/11.
I can summarize by saying that the extreme handful of people who escaped from the upper floors – above the plane crash sites – would not take "conventional wisdom" that certain routes were unavailable and wanted to find their own way.
The rest of the people "waited for help".
I certainly can't say what I would do in one of those situations – to publicly proclaim one's intentions before a tragedy is false bravado IMO – but almost always survival – if it is given – is given to the non conformists.
One other quick story – your Swiss Army knife story reminds me of a petite woman who I am acquainted with… Kelly is a retired Marine Warrant Officer – and Iron man competitor. She must be barely a bit over 5' tall, and one day in Reno (after she retired), she want jogging in a park, not in the best area of town from what I heard.
Anyway her father was concerned for her safety and she nonchalantly replied – "I'll be fine – I can kill anyone with this ball point pen".
I have no doubt that she could…
Mr, Avrech,
Since I did not have the good fortune to meet C.O. Cindy (and her "to kill for" complexion), It took me a lot longer to become a man. Just think what would have happened with the two of us.
Oh well, Looking forward to the next installment!
Thanks so much for speaking to your dad and getting this vital information from him.
1. Please thank your dad for his service. My experiences with the LAPD have always been positive.
2. It has always been my contention that the rank and file are far better than the politicians who make the grand decisions.
3. I do not expect police to be my protector. Police are usually brought in after a crime has been committed.
4. Which is why treating Islamic terror as a criminal matter—Obama's path—is so dangerous. We need to deal with them before they commit their horrific terror attacks.
The Riots could have been stopped by putting one guy on the ground, eyes closed, with a fake make-up bullet hole on his forehead, and a cardboard sign around his neck that said "LOOTER", and then broadcasting the image on local TV.
It would have been over in 4 minutes.
Or had anyone at LAPD actually started teargassing, arresting, or shooting people rioting, looting, and setting fires, at any point.
The plan from Chief Gates and Mayor Wasteofskin was apparently to just let them get it out of their system, at the city's and citizenry's expense.
Nowadays, I think the citizens of LA are lucky to get anyone to bother to show up for the LAPD job at all, and the recent downturns in crime have far more to do with less officer reporting because they won't get out of the squad car in the first place, than with actually stopping crime.
Gasoline and wine bottles are still affordable, and they work just as well going out as coming in.
Be sure to stock up on ammo. If Obama has his way it will be hard to come by.
Mr. Avrech,
This thread – your writing and the responses it has provoked – has been perhaps the most rewarding thread I've seen on this site. Your material (and your rendering of it) and the off-shoot topics mentioned (by yourself and others here) are so rich and provocative, it looks like you could expand on it and write a good book – much more independently (to produce & distribute) than one could do with a movie. Your humorous sensibility (and that of your respondents) really keeps the material 'steppin' lively'.
The political BS behind the absence of LAPD during the riots is pungent material all by itself.
(Why does it remind me of the film Chinatown?)
So um, does Karen have any strikingly similar, eligible, female relatives living in the LA area?
Time to switch to an RPG. Works wonders in the Beka Valley. Perfect for L.A. when the rioting happens.
wow – i'm riveted by this story. i moved to LA a couple of years after the riots and had no idea it had come up as far as Hollywood. btw, i loved your prison women article so much i bought Within These Walls. Can't wait to watch it!
Yup.
IDF soldiers are battle-tested in unique ways. Israel is basically at war with 22 barbaric and frankly genocidal Arab/Muslim states, plus several proxy armies—Hamas and Hizbullah are Iranian proxies—not to mention a 5th column of hostile Arab Israeli citizens, so the guys and gals of the IDF get lots and lots trigger time with some truly insane characters. The rule of thumb with terrorism is this: whatever happens in Israel, will happen about a year later in the West. Israel is the canary in the coal mine of our civilization. So yeah, it's valuable having Israeli soldiers as close friends. It's like knowing the big bouncer with the clip board who controls the line at exclusive Hollywood clubs.
A sponge is an excellent tool of asphyxiation. Seriously. Ask my IDF tank commander.
I'm pretty sure that women are here to make us better men. Really, I spent time in Sing-Sing—research, truly— and let me tell you, men without women are lo-sers.
C.O. Cindy's complexion was/is Vogue magazine cover material.
Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. Karen's two—yes two gorgeous sisters—are happily married.
Look McQueen, it's Chinatown.
You bought my film? Oh joy!
Residuals;-)
You see how smart your husband is: he knew that you would make him complete. Same with Karen. I knew, even at the tender age of 9, that she would make me a better man.
Karen's still patiently waiting for the "better" part to kick in:-)
The battle against the 2nd Amendment is just another result of the emasculation of men in our country. It is all about fear. Many of us are no longer a people who are courageous enough to willingly defend ourselves from wrong doers. Take for example the VA Tech massacre that happened a year or two ago. One gunman hunting hundreds of young men and women with a sidearm. We have become a nation of effeminate half-men who run from the gun shot instead of towards it. It's time again to start teaching our kids that there are things worse then death. Trying to crawl into cracks or hide under tables while some nut walks around shooting your classmates is a good example. If we could re-introduce the value of courage into our national conscience then the drive limit those "dangerous guns" would go away.
"If you've ever held a Randall knife you know my father well, if a better blade was ever made it was probably forged in Hell"
Guy Clark
I was not brave, merely desperate.
It is my sincere conviction, and I believe that all stats support this common-sense thinking, that when law-abiding citizens are permitted to carry concealed weapons the criminals think twice about committing crimes. After all, the animals are looking for easy pickings.
BTW, how come no one calls for banning plastic blags? The Khymer Rouge murdered 1 million using ordinary plastic bags to suffocate the martyred victims.
That most American Jews support massive gun control is one of the saddest legacies of western liberalism. However, I'd like to point out that most Orthodox Jews, i.e. observant Jews, those who observe the Sabbath and keep kosher, are Conservative Republicans and support private gun ownership. Most liberal Jews have abandoned traditional Judaism in favor of the rigid religion of leftist politics. Again, my wife Karen disagrees with my analysis and contends that most American Jews are clinically insane—or just plain stupid.
Really love your articles.
In Israel, when Arab terrorists go on a public rampage, you will see scores of Israeli citizens, armed and trained, running towards the gunfire and killing the terrorist. That's how things should work—in a sane society.
No argument from yours truly.
We'll see what happens when Obama loses his bid for a second term.
Extremely dangerous to the thrower. Believe me, I've seen Arab kids turn into human torches as they handled Molotov cocktails. Highly unstable weapon.
Karen looks through my Randall collection and goes: "Any of them good for cutting steak?"
Total shudder.
The love of my life is the practical one in the partnership.
Really love that you love my articles:-)
Putting in an order for: Charlton Heston.
I am with you Robert. I agree 100%. America needs a reminder that there are things more important in life then self preservation.
Yeah, but that's just Darwinism in action.
It's the cross-cultural equivalent to some redneck saying "Hey y'all, watch this!"
They worked fine in Budapest in '56, and in hundreds of riots since then.
You just have to be smarter than the wick.
A '55 Imperial: good times, good times. And good for you. Smart tactical move. As Sun Tzu says in The Art of War, paraphrasing here: The greatest victory is the battle that's never fought.
It is my solemn duty to leave you hanging. I'm working in the tradition of Charles Dickens, who published his books in serial form. Not to mention "The Perils of Pauline" and all the great movie serials.
Very glad you are enjoying my true-life tale. And yes, 20-years later makes it palatable. At the time, and for many years after, I was too angry to even think about it.
Karen's magical backpack is even better these days. Endless supply of my favorite coffee candy.
S&W Model 60 .357 Mag., is my light, concealed carry wheel gun of choice. Weight unloaded: 23 oz. Extremely accurate.
Karen looking like Napoleon at Austerlitz — priceless! But my guess is the little Emperor (or Josephine) would've killed for Karen's shoes…
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