Madonna’s Adoption Quest: Mission of Mercy or Latest Publicity Stunt?
by Pam MeisterDespite being told “no” regarding her bid to adopt a second child from Malawi, Madonna remains hopeful that her appeal will be successful. She wants what amounts to a companion piece to little David, the boy she adopted from that nation in 2006. That adoption had its problems, as critics said she used her wealth and fame to skirt laws that prevent non-Malawian citizens from adopting.
The idea that she wants to give little Mercy “a home, a loving family environment and the best education and health-care possible” is admirable. But if her final goal is, as she says, to give David and Mercy the tools they need to “one day return to Malawi and help the people of their country,” why doesn’t she just stick with the school she is planning on building? Or perhaps invest in the local economy, providing jobs for parents who are unable to adequately care for their own children? Wouldn’t that go further than holding what amounts to a kind of lottery and then whisking the lucky winners away to a fantasyland of luxury?
Forgive my cynicism, but it seems to me that like many celebrities, Madonna’s actions are more about burnishing her image as a progressive, caring person than helping the children of Malawi. “See, I’m not one of those people with lots of money who’s selfish! I’m doing something good!” Perhaps I’m wrong, but adopting these two children isn’t going to do much for the plight of the others left behind.
Plus, being surrounded by “yes” men day in and day out, it should not surprise anyone that Madonna would take “no” as an answer from anyone.
Now don’t get me wrong – Americans adopt children from overseas all the time. I personally know of several couples who did. Yet these were everyday people of average means who, unlike Madonna, could have no children of their own and who received no publicity for their very time consuming, very expensive efforts to adopt. No photo ops, no public accolades, no interviews in People Magazine and on the Oprah show, nothing to “show off” to the masses. Just children to love and raise as their own.
Funny too, when you think of it, that when little David first arrived in London, he was accompanied not by his adoptive mother, but by her aides. What, could she not find the time in her hectic schedule to accompany her new son to his new home? It reminded me of ordering from a catalog and having it delivered right to your door. No muss, no fuss.
On a related note, Christian Toto wonders if Madonna’s daughter Lourdes is picking up on Mom’s narcissistic qualities:
She once told “Today” staffers Lourdes tends to “walk into a room and demand that everyone pay attention to her.”
Who knows where she picked up that attitude from?
Indeed. And what screams “pay attention to me” more than a couple of cute little kiddies from a poor African nation in the care of a pop music icon?
Headlines about a school or some other philanthropic endeavor only last for a couple of days, unless there’s some sort of scandal involved (just ask Oprah). Nope, like Angelina Jolie – who seems to be intent upon being the first on her block to collect the complete multi-ethnic set of orphans – Madonna sees the public relations value in adopting ethnic children from impoverished countries. The queen of reinvention, Madonna once again seeks to remake herself – this time as the doting mother with a gaggle of international children (now sans husband, since she and Guy Ritchie divorced late last year).
Like I said, forgive my cynicism. I expect not everyone will agree with me and some will say I’m being overly critical of such a selfless gesture. They might even ask me what I’ve done for the international community lately. (Answer: nothing. I’m too busy with my own family.) But considering all of Madonna’s colorful past, it’s hard to believe this isn’t just the latest in a long line of publicity stunts. I just hope the children make it through unscathed.
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29 Comments
"I just hope the children make it through unscathed."
No hope of that. I read the list of demands she send Guy. As if living with that nutbag wasn't evidence enough of her inanities.
I've said this before on this site. Madonna would have had very little controversy around her adoptions if she would choose actual orphans. There are millions of children around the world with absolutely noone to call their own – yet she chooses two children who have one living parent as well as extended family; grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins who will live with the hole these children leave behind when they are taken from their family and community. Madonna would not even miss the money it would take to set the father up with formula, housing, childcare (a grandma?), and the means to bring his family back together. Stop stealing poor families' children. Choose a true alone-in-this-world orphan and the world will bless you for it.
I'm pretty cynical, but I kind of doubt that she's adopting a child just to be seen as a progressive. She's already got that. I would disagree a good deal with this piece and much within it.
Put me in the really cynical category. Having watched Madonna in all her incarnations since the 80's, I wouldn't put anything past this woman– even adopting a child for publicity reasons. I just think she's that hungry for attention.
we agree. This is a very personal decision and sheer vanity would seem to be precluded if for no other reason the duration of the obligation… we do not doubt Angelina Jolie's sincerity on this. Ms Ciccone should be judged no differently.
We have a very American view of adoption. We *expect* adoptive parents to bond with their adopted children and bring them up, materially and emotionally, as their blood born children. There is only (unless you're Madonna or Angelina) admiration for people who adopt in this country.
This is actually unique.
In many places the expectation is that adoptive parents have some other motivation. In Russia, for example, adopting is (or was relatively recently) not admirable, not socially acceptable, so that anyone who did would be expected to go to a great deal of trouble to disguise the child as their biological child. I personally stopped letting myself be guilted about the terrible, shameful, problem of Amer-Asian children in South East Asia, so neglected and abused, when I found out that Americans were not *allowed* to adopt these children, or any others. Russia at least allows adoption outside of the country. So does Korea, though it's considered shameful.
In a culture, any culture, where many people are poor (in real terms, not whiny American terms) people may feel obligated to take in the children of relatives who are orphaned, but the expectation, even of *good* people, is that those extra mouths to feed will be resented and the children probably used for labor. So they don't want to adopt out to Americans, because even *good* people can not really conceive of adoptive parents wanting the children as their true children. They would rather the child live an entire childhood in an orphanage than risk the unknown perils of the unknown motivation of some stranger. I *know* of an instance where a family preferred their sick child DIE than face whatever purpose behind the unknowable motivation of Americans who wanted to adopt it.
I won't say that it's human nature to look at suffering and want to do something about it, or to look at an unwanted child and be motivated to give that child a home… but it is something I saw in any number of military stationed overseas and that I can understand in Madonna and in Angelina. It's fine to pay for a school or support a family, but the only *sure* thing, is to adopt. Either woman can afford any number of children, and afford to hire necessary help, can afford to bestow acceptance and affection, can afford to make sure that not only does that child have a meal and some clothes now, but also tomorrow and an education and advantage for a lifetime.
If *you* could afford to adopt a child and remove it from these very terrible situations…. wouldn't you do it too?
I have cousins, two sisters, one who adopted two children from Korea and one that adopted two children from, IIRC, Khazakstan or one of those. I have a friend who adopted from Georgia. The amount of money paid to complete those adoptions is outrageous. There are the fees, travel expenses, and mandatory stays of many weeks in-country, return trips and stays, not to mention all the time missed from work. (I also have a cousin who adopted locally when one of her students came to her and said, "I'm pregnant, will you adopt my baby.")
It would be very easy to say…. "But wouldn't that 20k have done more good if you just donated it to the orphanage?"
Perhaps my cynicism has a personal aspect to it. While we *expect* that an adoptive parent will adopt for the right reasons, that's not always the case. I was adopted by a parent who was simply looking for another outlet to express their ego and narcissism. Yet, I don't think I'm projecting when I see this in Madonna.
She's undoubtedly genuine about her need to adopt kids. Sort of like the crazy cat lady everybody knows about. Only this is the crazy kiddie lady. But at least she can afford hired help to clean up the mess the kiddies leave behind.
A new book is coming, "SEX" will be replaced by "KIDS", the porno stimulati replaced by a hormonal proxy which few will grasp. All the money in the world can't boost these types into the human race. Their behaviour over the years has scarred them with the mark of celebutards ( neat word) and their progress upwards is proportional to their decline in age and looks. How perfectly Hollywood. What Kenneth Anger spiked in Babylon, these fools spike themselves like injectables with "philosophy and gravitas". And they end up stealing children…………
Put me in the cynic column. Madonna recently had a lot of bad press with the termination of her marriage. Rumors of infidelity with A-Rod and a post-marital hook-up with someone name Jesus don't make you look like the best person.
Little Mercy needs a family now, not when it is convenient in 2 or so years when she can be employed. She needs to be fed multiple meals and be taken care of daily and not in 2 years when convenient for her biological family. The claim is that she is wanted by her biological father, but yet she remains in the orphanage because she apparently isn't wanted that much. Her biological grandmother claims she wants her, but not until she is 6. What I find most disturbing is the disparaging remarks regarding Madonna about her desire for adoption in this situation. It would seem that Madonna actually understands that human children require food, shelter, and family now over at some arbitrary point in the future when it is convenient. for biology. Sorry, but with biological family like that, Mercy is indeed an orphan.
At six years old the child can work.
Ah, I see you said as much. Yes, at six she can be employed.
If it wasn't for people like Madonna, Sasha Baron Cohen wouldn't have any material. For this….we owe her a big THANK YOU. Actualy I don't see what the big deal is….she is just trying to help children.
No window into Madonna's heart or motives here, but her supposition that her adopted kid(s) will, as adults, want to return to their birth country to "help" is totally naive.
p.s. i just made an ax-kickin' mole dinner. Mmmmm…
(snicker!)
What you said. +1
For a fraction of her massive wealth, Madonna could support entire villages. But quiet, anonymous support isn't her bag. Never has.
It's far easier to swoop in on a private jet, pick and choose just the 'right' orphan, and open the checkbook for 'cooperative' government officials and bureaucrats.
Meow. And don't give Andrew an opportunity to remind me of the kitten deal from a couple of days ago.
Too late Lawhawk, I've started sending those kittens your way. If you roam the streets, you will see them. Keep all you find, they're all yours…
I'm cynical about everything at all times, particularly with regard to the influential and the powerful. That being said, I really have to wonder if the coverage of this wouldn't be as negative if it weren't Madonna. Yes, fine, the woman is very probably a complete loon. Granted. AND it's entirely possible that her main motivation for adoption is for appearances sake. Here's the thing: Unless she's freaking Joan Crawford with these kids, they're STILL better off with a mere 20th of what they're likely to get from the situation in terms of food, medical care, shelter and a SHOT in life compared to what awaits them back "home."
She's old.
Ccccannnnnn'tttt ssssstttopppp llauggggghhhiiiiinnnnggggg………
Suffocatttingggggg……
Oh, and by the way, happy National Thank a Lawyer day!
(Though for what, I have no idea…)
Stay frosty, you two!
Isn't watching full-blown unchecked narcissism a hoot?
Bet they took all the mirrors down in the house to keep her from wasting away to death in front of one.
Poor kids.
Roam the streets? I just finished my taxes and I may be living on the streets. But with all those kittens, I'll have something to keep me warm. And full.
I feel sorry for her kids. Dysfunction breeds dysfunction.
http://the100mostannoyingthings.blogspot.com/
Can you imagine those kids years from now after enjoying a privileged life thanks to Madonna's money being told they should now go back to Malawi and save their people? Gee thanks, Mom. I'll get on that airplane first thing.
You need to read Nancy Verrier's book "Primal Wound" before you go any further with that statement. Its about GRIEF, not gratitude. That adoptive parents do not "bond" with the child is not their fault 99 % of the time. And it is not the "sure" thing. Adoption is not a panacaea and it is not the answer to all the child's problems. A baby/child is not tabula rasa.
Gads, Im so tired of having to explain that adoption does not make one noble nor does it heal all wounds. The revulsion that a lot of us feel for what Madonna is doing is based on that gut knowledge.
"Gads, Im so tired of having to explain that adoption does not make one noble nor does it heal all wounds. The revulsion that a lot of us feel for what Madonna is doing is based on that gut knowledge."
OH GAWD you are so right!
It's much better to grow up in an orphanage than with adopted parents that might not bond with you. No bonds are better than second-rate bonds. Adoptive children often have medical issues, or suffer brain damage or behavioral disorders from maternal drug use or alcoholism, they have attachment issues for having been deprived as an infant. Not to mention possible personality incompatibilities that are genetic. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T ADOPT THEM.
Because it doesn't make you noble.
And because no parent is better than a non-biological parent.
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