Ode to Obama: First Movie About ‘The One’ On the Way
by Pam Meister
Hang on to your keesters: the first movie to celebrate the ascension of Barack “The One” Obama to the throne Oval Office is on its way to a theater near you:
Sony Pictures tells Whispers that it has acquired the rights to distribute the HBO documentary “By the People: The Election of Barack Obama.” In describing the film, the media giants say that the previously untitled flick won’t be just a collage of biographical and campaign video. Added will be interviews with staffers and campaign aides to give us a behind-the-scenes look at life in Obamaland. It ought to be pretty polished: Ed Nortons Class 5 Films did the work.
Yes, it should be a gas…Ed Norton’s the same guy who told us all to turn out our lights for an hour in order to symbolize the fight against the greedy overuse of fossil fuels that are killing our planet. (Global warming savior Al Gore must not have seen Norton’s appearance on Larry King Live.) Apparently, that doesn’t apply to the fossil fuels used to make the film, let alone what will be needed to distribute and screen it for the adoring masses.
Hmmm…I’ve always wanted to narrate a documentary. Seeing as I’m such a fan, do you think Norton will invite me to do the honors on his next one?
Michael Moore must be kicking himself right now for not having thought of this moneymaker himself. But since he does a better job with tearing people down than building them up, perhaps it’s not the best use of his talents after all. Can you imagine him ragging on the “superhero” who made his wet dream of tearing down GM come true?
From the press release:
Obama’s election was, clearly, a global event which people all over the world felt deeply about on both political and emotional levels. From the start, it was very important to us to share this film with as broad an international audience as possible and we’re really thrilled to be partnered with Sony in trying to achieve this because no company has more experience or reach in both the world markets and home video,” said Producer Edward Norton.
Absolutely! Why should adoration of Obama be limited to us “arrogant” Americans? It’s time to start sharing our toys and peanut butter sandwiches with the other global kiddies, so what better way to start than with sharing a special batch of Kool-Aid prepared by the master mixologists of Hollywood? For the record, I like grape flavor best…
Obama truly is blessed. Not only is he being honored by a glowing tell-all of his miraculous, world-healing election within the first year of his presidency, but he’s also had a Chia pet made in his honor. Poor George had to settle for being immortalized by ”Buck Fush” t-shirts, Will “Elf” Ferrell’s profanity-laden and troop-insulting one-man Broadway show, and a “biopic” movie by Oliver Stone which somehow reminded one more of a Kitty Kelley biography than a serious portait.
No wonder Michelle is finally proud of her country. Would you argue with those world-renowned biceps? The Queen of England sure didn’t.
And the best thing is, the premiere may just give the Obamas yet another excuse to get out of the White House – it can be so tiring there. I hope Ed doesn’t forget the Wagyu beef – rumor has it the Obamas love it.
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63 Comments
I think I just threw up in my mouth…………
Obama in Excelsis Deo!
I'm already getting a thrill up my leg.
Coming to the Oscar's near you! It's already been nominated.
Wow, I thought we had gotten as low as we could, but to actually deify the man WHILE he is in office, this is an all time low. Glenn Beck's Obama Anthem describes it perfectly: "Oh Hail the Messiah, Obama, Obama,… Our Savior, Our Savior, Obama, Obama…" &c., &c.
I'm gonna puke….
I make a motion that "Michael Moore" and "wet dreams" never be allowed in a Big Hollywood post ever again. Twice in one day is two times too many.
I wonder if ILM will do the special effects. You know, the parting of the seas, the descending from the clouds, the Founding father spinning in their graves.
I wonder who will play the Saudi King in the bowing scene?
Has anyone got any title suggestions?
Did I read that right? Ed Norton is going to play Obama? Strangely… that works for me.
I've never seen such a disconnect, but I really look forward to this epistle to the "one." From the adventures from hawaii to the hallowed halls of Harvard, to the community organizing on the south side will be filled with rivoting dialogue and action packed sequences. Casting might be difficult – Gary Coleman as the young Barry, Wilford Brimley as George Soros, (to bad Vincent Gardenia isn't available) Dreyfus and Garofolo as the Ayre's. Little Richard as the Reverend Wright, Vern Troyer as James Carville, Yesseriebob – I can smell the inspiration from here
You haven't heard the worst part. They're also making a mini-series. It's going to recreate the last fifty days minute by minute, and it will be run on all channels for the next fifty days.
See Obama heroically attacking Republicans! See Obama regifting. See Obama sitting contemplatively. See Obama playing solitaire on his absenceofcolorberry. .
How about:
OBAMA: The Second Coming….This Time it's BIBLICAL…..
Insert deep movie announcer voice here….
It will do nothing at the box office. He and his supporters have achieved their short term gains already, namely victory. So, this is just more preaching to the choir. One suspects that it is the video distribution of this that might be more problematic- the forced indoctrination of young students ala Algore and his fantasy doc 'Inconvenient Truth' which many schools REQUIRED their students to see…
This all reminds one of a famous statement by the Communist Tyrant Josef Stalin. When asked what weapon the west had that he coveted most he said, simply "Hollywood"…
No doubt with a haunting main theme sung by the Creepy Obama Youth Chorus. (Remember them?)
Since I accidentally on purpose didn't observe the great symbolic sit-in-your-house-in-the-dark-for-an-hour-for-some-unknown-reason Earth Hour, I'll make up for it by saving my gas and not driving to the local bijou to see this flick.
Wow, it's like carbon credits!! I feel so much better now!
And to my way of thinking, it's not a documentary, it's a horror movie with a really unhappy ending!
Do you think it will have a caption stating "Based on a true story"?
I guess this is what we should get used to. It is reminding me of the arrogant Kim Jung Il. Everyone adores him-until the camera is off.
Twenty five of those days will be him stuttering without his teleprompter. I, I, I, uh, uh, uh, wait, buh, buh, buh…
I'll wait for the part where Obama reveals himself to be the Anti-Christ after the One World Currency and Temple of Solomon have come to pass!
One man… One Mission… A forgotten Democracy… Amongst an evil conspiracy… of Republicans… This Summer… One Man… On a Mission from God… Only He can save us… The Preserator!! This film is not yet rated!
yeah but the problem is they adore him no matter what. He can trash the country like Godzilla through Tokyo and his followers will still sing his praises.
I'll bet they have no idea WHY they adore him…..
That's not until the third mini-series.
That's not until the third mini-series.
Didn't Baghdad Barry say something about the bow? "That was not a bow! There was never a bow! Never! Never! Never!"
Perfect!!
Maybe the poster could have a pic of Obama with huge rippling muscles giving Satan (in the form of Karl Rove) a nugie….
And don't forget the riveting scenes where he and his nominees read through the Turbotax manual!
They had no idea why they voted for him. Hope and change. Right. Those are concrete reasons.
And the deep emotional scenes where the Obamas chow down on wagyu steaks….
That will be the best $7.50 I'll never spend on a movie.
I love the vacant stare I get from Obamabots when I ask them what kind of leadership experience Obama has and if that influenced their vote.
And lobster. . . pain feeling lobster.
Oh man. You're killing me. I'm going back to bed and pretend this is all a bad dream.
You owe me a keyboard for that one…..
Right, the one titled: Death to Term Limits….
And lots and lots of film of naked Obama riding his magical unicorn. lots and lots of that.
So, it's going to be a horror movie, then?
I could get free tickets to this and I wouldn't go. I'm not even sure I could put the tickets on eBay and try to sell them. How could I contribute to the moral debasement of the country?
You can't just ignore this. If you try, they'll send actors to your house to give you a live performance. That was in the stimulus.
That's the working title, but I'm still hoping for "Return of the Republicans."
yeah, I'm definitely gonna puke…..
leni riefenstahl directing…
I'll just lay there shouting La La La I Can't Hear You! That'll work. Right?
Sheesh has Hollywood lost what is left of it's mind? Like the people outside the liberal centers of the country need a further reason to ignore Hollywood. Where are the Jimmy Stewarts and the Dukes of this generation? I'm sure some of us still remember when many actors still loved their nation.
I second that motion….
or "The Empire Strikes Back"…….oh wait….scratch that…..
meh.
I'm waiting for the Johnny Quest and Full Metal Panic movies myself. They'll make more sense.
He's calling it "By the People?" OK, so he got elected by the people. When do we get a government of the people, and more importantly, for the people? Or am I misunderstanding, and it's actually about the "People's Republic?"
You can try that. Just don't drink the KoolAid they offer you!
Yeah, but Norton will have to lower his voice a couple of octaves and get rid of the lisp.
Get rid of the lisp? Is that what they're calling Barney Frank these days?
Careful Sgt! The Obamanation catches you they’ll make you watch it like Alex in A Clockwork Orange, but instead of Beethoven it’ll be Kayne West.
Excuse me while I vomit!
Wrong Barney. Norton will be using the tall purple model. 'I love you, you love me. . .."
You mean Smoochie.
Ya know, this movie is getting more and more complicated. Norton plays Obama in a big dinosaur costume. Maybe it will be worth watching? Do you think Britney Spears will play Michelle?
I don't mind expanding my aversion to Kanye West. It bothers me that I even know how to pronounce his stupid name.
Yep. The makeup will be a stretch, and Britney's a better dresser with a greater sense of appropriateness. But the big problem will be building up Britney's arms.
Is Robert Downey Jr. going to be cast as Obama?
This is a strange human phenomenon. This hero worship thing, I mean. I admired Reagan but hey, I have my own life to live. This BO worship is clearly for the weak minded and addled. I can't say retarded, right, that would be hate speech?
I would say Alex had the better deal, huh?
When I read this, I actually laughed out loud. These people are going to provide us with gallows humor for the next four to eight years. Obama, Michelle, the useful idiots who salver over them are all funny as hell.
I believe your prediction will be accurate. Half of this country didn't vote for him. I doubt many of those who did vote for him are going to be willing to slap down the price of a movie ticket to watch his hagiography, even if it had Spielberg's name on it. So obviously trying to get this piece of propaganda to stand on its own merits isn't the way to go – it must be fed to people through schools and other arms of the state.
Otherwise, I imagine it will premiere with great gusto and heavy promotion, fail spectacularly, and quietly vanish into the bargain racks at the grocery checkout lane while being either lauded by fawning critics as a brilliant work of documentary or ignored as mediocre PBS fare.
But in any case, no one will ever publicly acknowledge it was a flop, much less admit it was propaganda. It will be just one more drop down the memory hole of vapid celebrity and left-wing politics.
Maybe, but "Special Olympics" is allowed.
you're only right…
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